Craving: A SciFi Alien Mail Order Bride Romance (TerraMates Book 8) (14 page)

T
he world swirled
around Kai in a cycle of light and dark. Thoughts came with difficulty and far too slowly to be coherent. Pain was his constant companion though some moments hurt more than others. He was vaguely aware of people moving around him, but he had no idea who they were.

At any rate, it didn't matter. In his more lucid moments, he could remember that he lost a great battle. The Ruvien's bridge was destroyed in flames while he did nothing, trapped helplessly under a fallen beam. Men under his command died in excruciating ways. Some must be prisoners of an enemy who had no concept of honor.

For the first time in Kai's life, he had failed. At this moment, Anquera lay in ruins. His mother was dead. His stepfather was dead, and an idiot sat on the throne.

And Jenn, his sindare? Even if she were alive, she deserved better than a failed warrior.

Raspy sounds came from his raw throat. He was trying to say one thing. "Kill me now."

The noise that came out of his throat was barely recognizable as an intelligent language.

"Doctor!" called a female voice. "I think he's finally awake."

"Commander? Don't try to speak. I had to insert a breathing tube in your throat. Can you move your fingers?"

With effort and a lot of pain, Kai moved the index finger on his right hand.

"Great. Tap once if you understand what I'm saying."

Tap.

"Excellent. You've suffered burns on your legs and arms. Your right thigh bone and hip were fractured. Fire control extinguished the flames eventually, but there was still a lot of damage. We have your arms and legs wrapped in a unique material that will accelerate the healing from the burns. I've turned off the machine. We'll get the tube out of you in a few minutes."

Kai impatiently tapped his fingers.

"Give it a few minutes. Sevit is around somewhere. Do you want to tap with him?"

Tap.

"I'll get him. In the meantime, Jennifer Carden is here to keep you company."

Frantic tapping.

"No? I don't understand. I assure you, she's been by your side the entire time."

Tap tap. Kai didn't want her to see him like this. Weak.

"Yes, Kai," Jenn crooned. "I've been here, watching you tap like a madman. I'm not going to leave you."

Kai looked straight to the ceiling. He didn't want to be humiliated further by having his sindare see him like this.

Helpless. Broken. Defeated.

"Commander," said Sevit. "The Ruvien is concealed inside one of the craters of the first moon. We've gone undetected until now, but we think it's because our fleet managed to destroy most of the Similcue ships. The remaining fleet ships are in orbit around the fourth planet while we complete repairs. Rescue operations have started, taking people from critically damaged ships and redeploying them on vessels with less structural damage."

"How many died?" Jenn interjected.

"I'm afraid the casualty count was high. We lost several hundred men, most from the Ruvien. The Similcue ship which rammed into us also tore a hole in our hull. A cascade of problems started after that incident, including venting of the internal atmosphere and an electrical system overload. We're almost ready to start moving again. Should I have us meet the other ships?"

Tap.

"Good. If you'll excuse me, I have some things to check on. I'll be back."

Kai tried to turned his head, but found his movement limited by the wires and tubes.

"He's a good man," said Jenn. "He's been concerned about you."

Tap tap.

"You're tired. Get some sleep. Go ahead. I'll wait right here with you."

Tap tap. Kai had a feeling Jenn couldn't understand his message.

The doctor returned to Kai's bed. "Let's get that tube out."

* * *

J
enn couldn't remember ever being
so glad to see a person regain consciousness. It was hard for her to see Kai wrapped in bandages and a breathing tube in his mouth. It made her feel helpless. She had seen wounded combatants before, of course, but this was different to her.

It was Kai.

She looked around the medical bay, which was now nearly empty. For the past few days, there had been a constant flow of Anquesh soldiers with different injuries. Some had burns, and others had broken bones. None had anything close to the extensive injuries of the Anquesh commander, and he was the only one still recovering.

Kai coughed after the doctor removed the breathing tube.

"Would you like some water?" Jenn held a cup to his lips.

"No," Kai rasped. "Leave me."

She pulled back, confused by the way he was responding to her. She supposed she could cut Kai some slack. He had a horrible experience. His burns must be painful. She'd seen similar injuries working with Earth soldiers and heard their tales of unrelenting pain. No painkillers could relieve the agony.
But I thought my presence would comfort him.

"Is something the matter?"

"You shouldn't be here."

"The doctor said it was okay for you to have visitors."

He turned his head away. "That's not what I meant."

"What did you mean, then?"

"Go! I'll make sure someone brings you back to one of the Earth ships."

"I don't understand what you're saying."

"I'm saying you should leave and go back to your people. There is no longer a need for you to be with me."

She stared at him blankly. "Kai, you've had a bad experience, but that doesn't mean you need to make a hasty decision."

"We've all had a bad experience. Leave me, Jenn. It's best for everyone this way."

Anger welled up in Jenn's heart. Perhaps she shouldn't have these feelings about an injured alien, but his words cut deeply. She was beginning to believe his feelings for her might be authentic. It had taken a long time for her to think there might be a future for them, and he had decided to send her away.

Why would he do anything differently? She was just a bargaining piece, one that was apparently no longer needed by Anquera.

"If that's what you want, that's what you'll get." She turned and fled from the medical bay, tears stinging her eyes. She ran down the halls, not knowing where she was going, or why. The ship looked empty. Everyone was busy making repairs.

Jenn slowly stopped. Running through the ship wouldn't do her any good. She would have to wait until someone came along. Then she could ask them to get Sevit for her. She didn't know how long that would take, but she knew one thing for sure. She would never speak to Kai again.

J
enn made
her way to the bridge. The crew looked up when the human entered, unspoken questions in their eyes.

She couldn't take the stares. Her face burned, and her heart was in shambles. Jenn was one breath away from bursting into tears. She rushed through the bridge into Kai's office, which was the only place she knew how to reach. From here, she could ask Sevit to arrange her transport to the Earth command ship.

She sat in the big chair behind Kai's desk and put her head in her hands. When did everything go wrong? Back on Earth, when she married Anton instead of tossing the cheating liar out on his ass. At the time, she didn't know about his deception. Jenn had allowed her stupid trusting heart to let Anton spin illusive dreams as he tickled her ears, telling her what she wanted to hear.

Her heart had led her astray once again when she began to fall for the Anquesh warrior. Kai had turned on her too, just like Anton. She wondered why it so important to her for this warrior to desire her? It wasn't like being an alien bride was her idea in the first place. She never expected Kai to choose her. Jenn never wanted to leave Earth. In a few short weeks, her life had been turned upside-down.

There were brief moments when Kai made Jenn feel like he genuinely cared about her. Sometimes the look in his eyes told her that he wanted her more than anything in the universe. Maybe those moments were what kept her going.

The door opened, and Sevit entered the office, looking at a computer in his hand. He glanced up, surprise registering on his face when he saw Jenn.

"Why are you here? Why aren't you with the commander?"

"He doesn't want me there or anywhere in his vicinity. He told me to go back to my people." She tried to keep her voice level but her breath caught in her throat as she said her last words.

Sevit's expression became neutral. He looked like a soldier who had been given an order he disagreed with, but could not disobey.

"Stay here," said Sevit. "I'll return in a few minutes."

When he left, Jenn was alone in Kai's office again. She looked around the room. On the right, trophies were carefully stored behind a clear, glass-like material. It couldn't be glass because it would have shattered during the attack on the ship. Behind the transparent wall, the trophies had been jostled from their places, some leaning against the glass and others at different angles on their sides.

The sheer number of them were impressive. Kai must have collected them his entire life. She stared at them, taking in the various pieces that represented moments of a warrior's life, and realized something.

Kai had never lost a single battle before.

The insight washed over her like a cold spring rain. Of course. For a man that had never lost before, getting injured in a single battle would seem like a massive failure.

She had seen this mentality before in her patients, especially the ones who identified with the warrior mythos. They went into battle convinced they were wielding a shield of invulnerability. The mindset gave them protection against the horrors of the battlefield. It helped them overcome challenges through training, skill, and sheer will.

That was the theory. Laser blasts went right through the mental invulnerability shields. When a weapon came at them which tore their bodies to shreds, their psychological defenses crumbled. Jenn's job wasn't merely helping soldiers heal their bodies. She needed to mend their minds and assist soldiers when they tried to overcome their sense of failure. And this was in a society where men had career options other than fighting.

Things were different on Anquera. From what she could see, the Anquesh concept of what it meant to be a man was intertwined with the notion of being a warrior. Powerful in battle. Acting with honor. Fulfilling one's duty. Dividing enemies into strict categories, like honored and hated.

They sent Kai to Earth to fulfill a contract of honor, one that rested on centuries of Anquera tradition and law. He followed orders out of a sense of duty to his planet.

With a shock, she realized Kai probably never wanted to go to Earth at all and had never desired a human wife.

When he met her, he had said something about
those abominable women
. There was nothing about Earth women he liked. He must have selected her because he was tired of the process and wanted everything to be over. He would take an Earth woman as his wife back to Anquera, perform the minimum required to respect the treaty, then go back to his life as a warrior.

Then what would happen to Jenn? She didn't know the kind of life she'd have, but she imagined it would be lonely and isolated as a single blonde in a world of tall, dark-haired people.

Uncertainty swirled through Jenn's head, making her feel confused emotions. For a moment, her insight into Kai's behavior had almost made her feel centered again. But she had no idea what to do after thinking about Kai's motivations.

Everything made her angry. How dare he? How dare he and this group of alien bastards take her from Earth for political purposes, then throw her away at the first opportunity. How dare he tell her to go.

How dare he kiss her with such passion and then act like it was nothing.

Jenn stood, feeling like there was a fire in her soul. She was going to give Kai a piece of her mind before he shipped her off like a piece of trash.

High on fury and rage, she strode out of the Anquesh Commander's office, ignoring the stares of the warriors surrounding her. She held her head high walking with confident steps to the Ruvien's medical bay.

* * *

"
W
hat did
you say to Jenn Carden?"

Kai withheld a groan. His second-in-command made the question sound like a challenge.

"Go away, Sevit."

"No, I will not. When exactly did you think it would be a good idea to get the Earth representative angry?"

Different thoughts tumbled through Kai's mind as he tried to process Sevit's words. To everyone else, Jenn was merely an Anquesh treaty prize.

He hadn't expected she would be his sindare. He hadn't expected he would fall in love with her.

Everything Kai wanted to say to Sevit sounded like the words of a petulant child in his head, so he decided to stare at the ceiling instead as Sevit continued talking.

"Don't you understand we need her more now than ever before? She is the Emperor's chosen visible symbol of our treaty with Earth. We can use her as a rallying point. Our people can gather around her to make things right again."

Kai sighed. Sevit didn't know that the Emperor had been against the treaty from the beginning, but Kai would not dishonor his memory with the revelation.

"They defeated us." Kai's throat was still raw from smoke inhalation.

"They did not. At worst, they fought us to a draw, but it was not a defeat."

"A draw," Kai said derisively, turning his head away.

"They had more ships than us. We did well, all things considered."

"Doing well is a euphemism for losing. Where were the rest of our ships? What's our plan for the future? They'll just come back, and with bigger numbers the next time."

Jenn pulled away the curtain from around Kai's bed. "Do you know what you need to do for the future? Stop feeling sorry for yourself."

"Sevit, get her out of here."

"If you touch me, I'll make what happened to Warrel look like I was fucking him."

"Yes, ma'am," said Sevit, stepping back with his arms raised in the air.

"And you!" she exclaimed, turning her attention to Kai. "You suffered a defeat. Big deal. Alien up and deal with it!"

Kai stared at her, shock written over his face.

"You think you're the first person in the universe who suffered a set-back? I've seen warriors with serious injuries. Paralysis. Amputation. Hell, multiple amputees don't feel as sorry for themselves as you do right now. If we had the time, I would leave you alone. Eventually, you would realize how ridiculous your thoughts are. But we don't have the luxury of time right now. A bunch of ships are waiting in space for you to lead them, Kai. I'm not going to leave until you get out of bed and remember you're a member of the Anquesh Empire's royal house."