Crave (Talon Security #1) (22 page)

I noticed he didn’t mention how his own life had been on the line.

“My team has provided you with valuable intel and backup over the years. Until you can convince me you don’t have any more rats in your organization, that ends as of now. You’re also done questioning my men. Especially Masters. He’s got my sister to look after.”

Something passed between Travis and Sid then. I knew Travis had already given his blessing, but saying in so many words that I was Sid’s to care for when for so many years that was something Travis had done—well it meant a hell of a lot. That fact wasn’t lost on Sid as he offered my brother a chin lift, his eyes glittering with emotion.

Adams eyed Travis speculatively and I thought I saw respect glimmering in his dark eyes. I doubted the man was used to being stood up to. “All right, McAllister. I got you.” He nodded before his eyes turned to Sid and me. “I apologize on behalf of the Bureau. I can guarantee this will never happen again. Get her on home,” he told Sid, his eyes momentarily softening as he took in my exhausted posture as I sagged almost entirely into Sid.

Sid barely took a moment to nod before he was taking me by the arm and gently leading me toward his truck. “Come on, babe,” he coaxed.

I looked back over my shoulder at Travis, desperate to meet his gaze. He looked up at me, his familiar brown eyes meeting mine. He gave me a half smile and a wink that nearly broke me. It was the same look he’d given me when he’d been deployed the first time. When I was terrified of never seeing him again.

I’d thought him a hero then, as I had every day since.

Sid lifted me into his truck, buckling my seatbelt and pausing to run a hand over my hair.

Did I imagine the way his hand shook?

He climbed into the driver seat before the V8 engine roared to life as he tore out of the parking lot, his anger evident as he pressed the gas pedal toward the floor.

We drove in silence, barreling up the canyon and pulling into Brad’s driveway. I’d scarcely noticed the drive, trapped as I was inside my own head trying to make sense of the evening’s events.

Trixie ran circles around us when we walked hand in hand into the foyer. We’d been gone a lot longer than expected, and Sid left me only long enough to briefly let her out. I was still standing where he’d left me when he returned.

He moved in close, raking his large hands gently through my hair. He stooped low, pressing his forehead to mine. “Baby, I’d feel a hell of a lot better if you said something.
Anything
,” he pleaded hoarsely.

Had I not spoken? I wasn’t even aware of it.

“I….” My voice was hoarse in my ears. “I....” I tried again. He pulled me in close, wrapping his arms around me, enveloping me in a cocoon of safety. I pressed my cheek to his firm chest, breathing him in. “I thought Travis was going to die,” I stuttered, realizing why this particular event felt more horrifying than those in the recent past. “I felt so helpless.”

“But you weren’t helpless, Sam.” His deep voice rumbled from his chest like an oncoming storm. “You still tried to stall that fuck. You did what you could and ultimately, you saved him just as much as my bullet did.”

I looked up at him in surprise.

He took my mouth and I could feel his big body tremble as my lips met his. “Christ, tonight took years off my life,” he breathed against my lips.

“I hope not. I want all the years I can get with you.” I sighed.

“Well then, how does forever sound?” he murmured.

****

“What the hell is this?” Theo chortled, holding up the romper that Sid had tried to convince me to get rid of just days before.

It was two days later and we were moving in to our new house.

“Remind me why we didn’t just hire movers?” I grumbled to no one in particular as I snatched my clothing out of Theo’s grasp. “I’ll give you the same fashion lesson I promised Sid,” I told Theo.

“Is that a threat?” he replied, his gaze snapping over to Declan as he carried a box inside. “That sounded like a threat.”

“Don’t be such a b-a-a-by,” Sarah sang from our master bedroom. She’d volunteered to hang some of my clothes instead of lifting anything heavy. She was a good friend, but as she’d put it, manual labor was out of her jurisdiction.

“I’m all man, sweetheart,” Theo hollered back.

I rolled my eyes at their banter before I looked around our home. Between the two of us, we didn’t have much furniture, but it didn’t matter. We’d fill the bare walls with photos soon enough. Our new dining set would be center stage for dinners with our extended family of friends. We’d christen our new bed before making love in every room. We’d fill the house with so many memories, it’d be bursting.

I couldn’t
wait
.

Strong arms wrapped around me from behind as Sid’s lips met my neck. My whole body gave a little shimmy in response. I turned in his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Okay, babe?” he asked. He’d barely left my side since the event with Richards.

I nodded with a grin. “I’m moving into the house of my dreams with the man of my dreams. I’m great.”

He grinned, bending to take my mouth in a soft kiss.

Caden groaned as he and Travis came in carrying Sid’s giant TV. “We didn’t help you guys move so that you could stand there and make out all day.”

Sid shot him a crooked grin. “Hey, man, you offered.”

“Momentary insanity.” Caden shook his head.

Danny cocked a brow at him as she came in carrying Trixie. “Only momentary?”

Caden paused, making Travis grumble with frustration as he shifted the TV’s weight. Caden leaned over so he could kiss her briefly. “Insane over you.”

“Christ, bunch of fucking pansies,” Travis complained.

“Just you wait, bud,” Sid replied, slapping him on the shoulder. “I’ll try not to say I told you so when it happens to you.”

“Right,” Travis replied sarcastically.

I knew that despite his reservations, when my brother fell, he’d fall hard.

It was after dark by the time the last box had been brought in. We all sat outside enjoying the backyard and devouring the pizza I’d ordered.

“Ma called,” Travis told me when he came to sit by my side as Sid sat on the other.

“Oh?” I replied tonelessly. “Did she spare a breath to ask anything about you?”

He shrugged, taking a swig from his beer bottle. “Not really.”

I looked over at him, waiting for him to say more, despite knowing he wouldn’t.

“It took me a while to realize they were the reason I had a hard time getting close to people,” I shared. Sid’s hand slid over my thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze. I didn’t even realize he’d been listening as I continued. “You ever think it might be the same for you?”

Travis looked out at the darkened backyard, seeming to consider my question. “I think we all process things in different ways. For me—well, I had you to focus on. To take care of. I don’t think their apathy affected me the same way. It may have made me harder, more reserved, but that got me where I am today. No sense looking back.”

I placed my hand over Sid’s. “I couldn’t agree more.”

****

Sid and I sat side by side on the back deck long after our friends had departed. Trixie was still busy sniffing around, marking her territory as though she could somehow defend it if push came to shove.

“The only home I’ve ever known has been with you,” I marveled out of nowhere as the thought sprang into my mind. “I thought at first it was just our place in Silverlake with Piper and Cade, and now this, but even Brad’s felt like home to some extent.” I turned to look at him, taking in his handsome face in the muted light. “I think I’d feel at home anywhere with you.”

He pulled me deeper into his side, kissing my temple.

I groaned. “You wanted me to share more and now I’ve become so sappy, it’s nauseating.”

“I won’t tell anyone,” he stage whispered with a grin. “I like you sappy. It’s cute as hell. So is your snarky side and your clumsy forgetful side. And that voice. Damn, when you sing….” He trailed off reverently.

I nudged him with my knee. “Now who’s sappy?”

He shrugged. “I’ll be a sap for you. I’ll wear that shit like a badge of honor after everything we’ve been through.”

I nodded in agreement. “I could live without another gun pointed at me ever again.”

He turned to me, his blue eyes serious. “I’ll die before it happens again.”

I snuggled into his side. I looked out at our new backyard, imagining the future we’d build in the confines of the walls behind us and underneath the sky above. “No talk of dying. Forever, remember?”

“Forever,” he agreed with a smile.

EPILOGUE

One Month Later

I
paced our living room for the hundredth time as Trixie sat on the couch watching me with her large dark eyes. She’d paced with me for the first fifty laps, but had gotten tired at some point.

Sid had been gone for three weeks; he’d accepted a contract just a week after we’d moved into our house.

This was the test we’d both known was coming. It was time to start our real lives together, which, along with the bliss of building our future, also meant at times he’d be taken away from me.

That last night had stayed with me every day, every moment. He’d made love to me until I could barely move before he pressed his forehead to mine. “We’ve been through hell, baby.” His voice had been insistent through the darkness. “We’re stronger than iron. We’ve got this, yeah? Don’t forget that.”

I hadn’t.

Despite everything that had transpired the last few weeks, I’d held firm to that resolve. I’d leaned on my friends in a way that my old self wouldn’t have. I’d opened up freely to them on those nights when I’d struggled most.

Sarah and Danny had both spent the night more than once, Piper called daily, and the guys that weren’t overseas had all checked in frequently. I had an entire family who worked every day to show me that the trust I’d worked so hard to share wasn’t misguided.

I’d never felt so lucky.

My phone rang, the sound shrill and shocking in the quiet space. Trixie and I both jumped before I sprang for it.

“Is he home yet?” Piper’s voice asked, her urgency barely suppressed.

“The answer is the same as the last time you called,” I answered with a practiced sigh.

And when Danny and Sarah called
, I thought.

“Sorry, I’m just impatient,” she replied, eliciting a snort from me.

“
You’re
impatient?”

She laughed. “I know. I know. The world doesn’t revolve around me and my emotions. It’s a hard concept to grasp.”

I laughed, so grateful for my friend and her ability to distract me. My friends and my music had been a wonderful distraction.

That didn’t mean I didn’t miss my man like crazy. After three long weeks, I could barely stand it.

“Well, I’ll let you go so you can continue to pace a hole into your floors,” she said dryly.

She knew me too well.

“You have to call me when you tell him. At least text me,” she added pleadingly.

“I will,” I promised with a smile and a yawn.

“Let’s go wait for him in bed,” I suggested to Trixie after hanging up with Pipe. I’d perfected my dog monologue in the past three weeks.

I curled into our bed, lifting the covers so Trixie could burrow underneath.

“Baby.” His deep voice was like a dream as it floated over me.

“Hmm?” I murmured.

His warm, calloused hand ran over my cheek. “I’m home.”

My eyes sprang open and I sat up suddenly. “You’re here!” I exclaimed. I’d fallen asleep with the lights on and I was grateful of that fact as I got my first look at my handsome man. He sat on the edge of the bed in his formfitting black pants and camos. He’d buzzed his hair again right before leaving. It made his features that much more striking. I admired the brightness of his eyes as they stared warmly back at me.

I threw my arms around him burying my face in his neck. “I meant to wait up. I didn’t even realize I’d fallen asleep.”

His hand stroked my back. “That’s okay. It’s late.”

I nodded, still clutching him tight. “Missed you.”

“I missed you, too.” He sighed.

We stayed like that until Trixie nosed her way between us, eager to get a little love from Sid.

He chuckled, tickling her ears before his eyes returned to mine. “Everything okay while I was gone?”

My cheeks grew warm as I bit my lip and nodded.

He looked at me curiously but chose not to press, taking my mouth instead. That suited me just fine. “Shower with me,” he murmured when our lips were raw and swollen from kissing.

After a brief hesitation, I nodded, my breath coming in shallow pants as I clutched his T-shirt.

He bent down, unlacing his heavy work boots before removing his pants and shirt. He looked a bit leaner than when he’d left but no less muscular. My eyes devoured his frame hungrily despite the trepidation I felt.

He cocked his head to the side. “You’re wearing too many clothes.” When I hesitated, his eyes grew wary and concerned. “Sam?”

I offered a shaky smile and stood up lifting my shirt up over my head and sliding my shorts down my thighs. I stood before him fully naked, watching as his gaze tracked my frame hungrily at first before a moment of confusion became clear as his eyes lingered on my heavy breasts.