Crave: A BWWM Romance (16 page)

M
y first OB
-GYN appointment was in three weeks and I was as nervous as they come. All morning, I had been checking and rechecking the date and time. I had been reading pregnancy guides like they were bibles and panicking over every tiny twinge and ache. Sonia had come by in the morning to bring me some ice cream. She stated that if there were ever a time when it would be OK to have ice cream, it would be when I was pregnant. She handed me a cone from the shop down the street like it was a trophy. When I asked her why she got to have ice cream too, she explained that it was sympathy ice cream. Nobody wants to go through a pregnancy alone after all.

“Sympathy ice cream huh?” I dug into my rocky road cone with child-like rapture.

“It’s the best kind really. I won’t get nauseated and vomit it up later.”

“Ah…well, thanks.” I suddenly felt worried again. I hadn’t had any morning sickness. Was that a bad sign? Didn’t pregnant women have terrible morning sickness? “Do you think…”

“You’re
fine
.” Sonia was accustomed to my bouts of paranoia, having been woken up twice at three in the morning with me panicking about cramps.

“You don’t know that,” I stated. “I haven’t even been to a doctor yet.”

“When is your appointment?”

“Two weeks from Friday.”

“That long?”

“Lots of pregnant ladies out there I guess.”

I placed my hand on my belly. I felt nothing there. Short of some tenderness and cramps, there was really no way to know I was even pregnant. Part of me just wanted to go to the doctor for proof that a little bean of a person was really sprouting inside of me. As it was, I felt like a liar, walking around and telling my family I was pregnant just because a little piece of plastic deemed it to be so. I pushed a little on my pelvis, willing myself to feel its heart beating. There was nothing there.

“Do you want me to go with you?” Sonia looked suddenly concerned. I must have had a strange expression on my face.

“No, I was actually going to ask Cole to come.”

“Yeah? How’s he handling all of this anyway?”

“Ha! Hard to say. I mean I only just found out like a week ago. He was cool about it when I told him. But he’s been so busy with the new contract and I’ve been so busy with the restaurant, we haven’t had many opportunities to really sit down and talk about it. We’re having lunch today though. I’ll ask him at lunch.”

“Lunch? You two need a night in, that’s what you need.”

“Lunch is fine.”

“Whatever, you
crazy
love birds.” Sonia’s emphasis of ‘crazy’ suggested that she thought we were anything but.

I didn’t care. I had Cole. I had this amazing little creature that I’m sure the doctors would tell me was really there. I was good. After I finished my Rocky Road, I started dragging out outfits for Sonia’s approval. This would be our first real date. I wanted to impress.

A few hours later, I was wearing a light blue and white polka-dotted sundress with a white belt. My sandals matched the brown of the buckle. I slipped them on and tightened the straps, grateful for the uncharacteristically warm day we were having. As summer had come to a close, the biting cold of fall was becoming more and more prevalent.

I had let Cole pick the joint and was impressed to hear that we would be eating at Eastern Standard. The restaurant had an atmosphere that managed to be both classy and relaxed with wide spaces, large open windows, and a top-quality menu. For some reason, when I thought of Cole, I thought jeans and beer. He’d mentioned playing golf with his Dad on occasion at a country club out west, but I could never really believe he’d get all dolled up like a pro golfer and eat caviar in a parlor room. It all seemed too fancy for Cole. I never expected him to have taste. But then again, he had me, didn't he?

When I arrived, he was already there, dressed in a simple suit with a green shirt and no tie. Eating olives rapid fire out of a small bowl, he seemed anxious about something. Suddenly, I felt worried. What could Cole be anxious about on our first official date? I tried to prepare myself for all the various breeds of bad news that might soon be coming my way.

My fears settled somewhat when I sat down and saw him smile at me. There was still tension in his face. However, the smile was unadulterated by it. I knew he was genuinely happy to see me despite whatever was eating him. That would have to be good enough for now.

“Hey,” he said with that smile still on.

“Hey,” I replied.

Our ‘heys’ sunk into an awkward silence. Now, when we were finally ready to begin something, we were finally at a loss for words.

“I spoke with my Dad,” he continued.

“Yeah? My mom and I had that talk too. How’d yours go?”

“Well, actually. He gets it. I honestly expected him to give me more hell. It’s like he’s a different person these days.”

I considered this. It must be jarring for Cole to see his Dad act in such an uncharacteristic way. My Mom had always been a little on the unpredictable side. The hook-up Vegas was certainly a shock, but not that much of a stretch.

“Yeah,” I offered. “My Mom was so excited. I can’t believe that a woman could have such a grandmotherly instinct. Speaking of the baby, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” I paused, almost afraid to say anything. It was such a bizarrely domestic chore, going to an ultrasound, what if it scared him away?

“Ask me anything.”

“Ok, well, I’m having my first ultrasound in a few weeks. And well, I was wondering if you’d like to be there.” I glanced up hopefully.

“At the ultrasound?”

“Yeah.” I paused. “You know, meet the baby and all that.”

Cole was silent for a moment, that look of anxiety creeping back onto his face. I suddenly felt ill thinking about what he would say next.

“I mean,” I continued awkwardly. “It’s just really important to me that my boyfriend be there…”

“I can’t…be there as your boyfriend that is.”

My heart sunk. What did he mean he couldn’t be there as my boyfriend? Was he not coming? Was he breaking up with me? Both? The roiling pit of nausea that had replaced my stomach was threatening to send that morning’s ice cream up and onto the tablecloth. I barely noticed Cole reaching into his jacket pocket.

“Because,” he continued suddenly. “I want to be there as your fiancé.”

With those words he opened the small velvet case in his hand to reveal a beautiful midnight blue sapphire set in silver with two diamonds on either side. The midday glow form the large parted windows made the stones sparkle in an inviting way. I felt stupid for what I had been thinking a moment ago. Not jumping to conclusions was still something I needed to work on.

“Moneka Hart, would you marry me?”

Would I marry him? The man who helped me remember how to live? The man whose child I was about to have? Did he even have to ask? I was so awed by the small piece of jewelry and the important question at hand that I hadn’t realized a minute had gone by and I still hadn’t given him an answer. When I looked up, he face was contorted in anxiety.

“Yes,” I finally said and watched as he relaxed into the purest happiness I had ever seen. The anxiety has left his body and I was happy to know that the only thing that had been plaguing him was whether or not I would want to be with him as much as he wanted to be with me.

I slipped the ring onto my finger, not caring that it was a tad on the large side and would need to be adjusted. Until this moment, I would never have pegged myself as a domestic sort of person. On the contrary, I’d been married to my career for the better part of forever. But when I examined that ring on my finger, I suddenly saw how right it was. Don’t get me wrong, I still adored Crave and my career was still important. However, I was finally learning that it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Being a success and having someone to share that success with are not mutually exclusive. This ring proved that.

“Is this crazy? What we’re doing?” I finally asked.

“Probably,” Cole replied. He then added, “But what’s wrong with that?”

T
he first birthday
is always the strangest one. After all, it’s a big deal,
the very first
, so parents want to make it something special. However, it’s also a birthday that the child will never remember. At a certain point, when you’re overrun with balloons, tangled up in streamers, and weeping over the perfect birthday cake, you have to wonder who this party is really for. That’s how Moneka felt for the entire week leading up to the big day. Twice, she turned to Cole and threatened to cancel this and all future birthdays. If it had been within her power to cancel all birthdays, she might have done so, snuffing out candles and putting an official kibosh on cake.

Cole took it in stride. As he saw it, a mother approaching her child’s first birthday was not unlike a mother-to-be in her seventh month of pregnancy. In either case, the threat of change loomed heavily on the horizon. That and the woman in question was scientifically irrational. He thought he understood to an extent. After all, May was turning one. It filled him with the same nostalgic longing as her first time sitting up and her first steps. Sometimes it felt like every moment of parenthood was an exercise in letting go.

When the big day finally arrived, Moneka was preparing homemade snacks up until the last minute with Cole running defense whenever she almost dropped a utensil or nearly knocked over a bowl. May was still asleep in her nursery. They were hoping to let her sleep until the last minute. Unfortunately, Moneka’s latest episode of clumsiness had sent a wooden spoon onto the kitchen floor. Cole wasn’t there in time and the clattering which followed was immediately punctuated by waking cries from the farther room.

“Your turn,” Cole said matter-of-factly.

“Please, I have to finish this last batch.”

“You’re the one who woke her up by dropping that spoon.”

“And you’re the one who didn’t catch it.”

With an audible grumble, Cole went to comfort May.

“Put her in the new dress.” Moneka called from the kitchen.

“Got it.”

Cole started getting her ready for the festivities. Everyone would arrive within the hour and then it would just be a den of cooing, eating, and madness. May seemed blissfully ignorant of the coming storm. She babbled away while he changed and dressed her, occasionally poking him with her hammy fingers. When he was finished, he took her into the living room and sat her on his lap, attempting all the while to explain what a birthday was. Before he was finished, the doorbell rang.

Louise and Francis were on the other side. Louise was wearing her usually flowy dress while Francis was dressed like he took a wrong turn on the way to the country club. They came in and immediately zeroed in on May, ignoring Moneka’s plethora of baked goods.

“Oh, I know we’re early but we just had to see the little one!” Louise cooed into May’s face.

“Well, you’re in luck. She just woke up.”

“Naps all day huh?” Francis chimed in. “Well, she should enjoy that while it lasts.”

Louise rolled her eyes at Francis and gave him a peck on the cheek. Cole and Moneka eyed each other of the bar at opened to the kitchen. They were happy to see that things were still going so well.

“We’re here!” A shout echoed from the condo hallway. A goofy trio soon followed it. Sonia walked in with Kaila and Kaila’s boyfriend of four months only steps behind her.

“You remember Jake.” Kaila said to the room at large as they filed through the entryway.

Moneka eyed her sister closely as the three of them nearly shoved the grandparents out of the way for a gander at the baby. Her recovery had been slow after she as released from the hospital. Even after the casts were removed several months later, she was still using crutches. Moneka swore that she’d seen her limping even a year after the accident. Looking at her now though, you would never guess what her body had been through.

Jake was a real catch. He was a classically handsome man who wore lots of slimming suits and worked at a hedge fund. Though it was a demanding job, he made a pretty penny and the two of them lived comfortable lives these days. Lately, Kaila had been working on him to adopt her deathbed philosophy, trying to encourage him to a find a job that didn’t keep him out so late in the evenings. Kaila herself was still a lawyer. However, she’d stood up to his bosses and cut back on some of the cases she was working. It was a good thing she was a talented litigator. I couldn’t imagine them taking that from just anyone on their staff.

“Cookies!” Sonia cried. Moneka could always count on Sonia to notice the refreshments. “Guys, there’s food!”

“Of course you would notice that Sonia,” Kaila teased. “You really do need a man in your life.”

“Oh, we’re on
me
now? I seem to recall it wasn’t that long ago that you were all over Moneka to get a man in
her
life.”

“Well, now she has one.” Kaila reached a hand out and touched Cole’s chest playfully. “A good one too.” She smiled.

Sonia helped herself to the most recent batch. “Moneka,” she mumbled through soft dough, peanut butter, and chocolate. “You are a goddess in the kitchen. But, you know what these adults really want. Where’s the champagne?”

“Relax Sonia. I’m waiting until everyone arrives.” Moneka turned off the oven, glad to finally be finished. “I hope there will be cookies left for them as well,” she added when she spied Sonia grabbing a second helping.

“That’s why I brought an extra bottle. One for the important people, namely us, and you’ve got some for when the rabble arrives.” She placed her cookie on a napkin and immediately started working on the top.

“Fine,” Moneka conceded as she went into the cupboard for champagne flutes.

As Sonia began filling the flutes, Moneka grabbed one of the flutes from the end and poured the ginger ale into it. It had a slightly darker quality than the champagne, but it would do. Sonia squinted skeptically at Moneka.

“Say, what’s the all about?”

“What?”

“Don’t play coy with me. Either you’ve suddenly joined AA or you’re….
no
.”

Moneka grinned mischievously. “Shhhhhh. OK? Fine, you’re right. We’ve got another on the way. We’re about 2 months along. We were going to tell people after the first trimester. Keep it to yourself OK?”

Sonia responded with a high-pitched squee as she almost spilled the leftover champagne on the floor. She placed it apologetically on the counter and turned to the other guests. When she announced a toast, the five remaining guests headed to the bar and each grabbed a flute. Kaila seemed overjoyed to learn that there would be drinking at this party. May, in the meantime, was cradled in one of Cole’s arms, finding endless enjoyment in his hair or along the collar of his dress shirt.

“A toast,” Sonia said again, “Before the rest of the people arrive. Just us family. To little May who is just the most adorable little one-year-old that a fake aunt could ever want.”

“To May.” Everyone chanted in unison as they raised their flutes.

“And,” Sonia added, “to Cole and Moneka whose unexpected family could not have turned out more beautifully. Congratulations on a terrific first year as parents and the best of luck with number two!”

Moneka almost dropped her ginger ale. At the same time, Cole choked a bit and some of his champagne landed on his shirt. May’s laughter quickly turned to drool which also landed on his shirt.

“Number two?” Louise chimed in. “Well, it’s a bit soon to be pressuring them about that don’t you thi….” She trailed off when she saw the embarrassed looks on Moneka and Cole’s faces. “No! That’s amazing! I’m going to be a double grandma!”

Whether everyone laughed at her exclamation or the bewildered look on her face, it wasn’t clear. Suffice it to say, Louise was pleased and her pleasure was contagious. Soon they were all exchanging congratulations and offering well wishes. Francis tried to explain to May that she would have a little brother or sister, a lecture that fell on deaf ears as she took on the difficult task of throwing her stuffed animals into a pile.

Cole and Moneka interlocked as they watched their family. They almost wished the other guests weren’t about to arrive. Having three generations under one roof, young loves and new families abound, made for a nearly perfect moment. The happiness that grew from it shimmered like glassy waters do when the sun is rising over a calm lake. The stillness of it tricks you into thinking that nothing will ever change.

Until there was a knock at the door. The other guests had arrived.

C
an You Do Me a Favor
?

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