Crave (6 page)

Dad leaned down to kiss my forehead with icy lips I'd never thought to question before and a whisper of cold breath. Vampire lips. Breath as cold as death. And I might end up just like him. I suppressed a shudder. Then Mom walked with him out of the room while Nanna headed for the kitchen. A few seconds later, I heard the front door open and shut, followed by the revving of an engine in the front yard as my father left.

My
vampire
father.

Holy crap.

Savannah

I took the longest shower our hot-water heater would allow, spending more time trying to wrap my mind around this strange new reality than I spent washing myself. Part of me still clung to the hope that it was all just a case of my imagination going berserk. But everything was too real…the slippery porcelain beneath my feet, the cold, wet tile wall holding me up, the hot water burning its way over my skin. And it wasn't just anyone telling wild stories here. All this stuff about demons and vampires and witches was coming from my entire family, the three people I loved and trusted more than anyone else in the world.

When the water ran cold, I got out, dried off, then studied my reflection in the mirror. Was it because I was freaked out, or did I really look…different? My eyes seemed bigger, my cheekbones more pronounced. My upper incisors might've become a little pointier than they'd already been. I was definitely paler, but who wouldn't be after being sick? And my
hair seemed thicker and darker, less orange, more auburn. My imagination, too? Maybe.

I wondered if Tristan would notice, then banished that thought. He was in the Clann. Worse, he was the son of the Clann's leading family.

And I had to avoid him at all cost.

“Mom?”

A few seconds later, as if she'd been nearby listening for me, she opened the door a few inches and poked her head in. “Yes?”

“Why aren't we in the Clann anymore?”

“Well, they weren't too thrilled when I broke the rules and married your father. And when your Nanna didn't try to stop us, they kicked her out, too. It's a real no-no for vampires and witches to get involved with each other.”

“Because vampires tend to kill witches.” I sighed.

“They did before the truce. At one point, before even your grandmother's time, it was an all-out war between them. But now they've agreed to avoid each other as much as possible. Which is why no vampires live around here, including your father. This is Clann territory. And vampires have reason to fear descendants, too, since they can of course kill vampires much easier than normal humans can.”

At my confused look, she explained, “Fire. Vampires can be killed by fire. Or decapitation or a stake through the heart, but those methods require a weapon. Witches, real ones, can produce fire in the palm of their hand.” She held out her hand palm up, concentrated…and a tiny ball of orange flame burst to life in her hand. At the same time, faint prickles raced over the back of my neck and down my arms.

My brain blanked out for several seconds. Then my heart lurched back into gear. Hoooly crap, she wasn't kidding. She
really could do magic! Reaching toward the flame, I opened my mouth to ask when I would get to learn
that.

“Oh, no.” She snapped her hand closed, extinguishing the fire with a sizzle. “Don't even ask, because the answer is no. Creating fire is too dangerous for you, in case your vampire genes make it hard for you to control the flame. And you're not learning any other magic, either.”

“Why not?” I tried hard not to whine. But honestly, what was the point of learning all of this stuff if I couldn't even do real magic someday?

“Because both the Clann and the vampire council made your Nanna and I swear that we would never teach you how to do magic. It was the only way I could get to raise you and we could stay in Jacksonville.”

“I can't
ever
learn to do magic?”

She shook her head. “Sorry, hon, not unless the Clann and the vampire council both change their minds.”

“What if my magical side starts developing, like you said? Will I just start shooting out magic spells or something?”

She laughed. “Not likely, since it takes both your willpower and certain spell words for beginner witches to cast a spell. Magic is like a muscle for most descendants. If you never use it, like I haven't for a while, it atrophies and is harder to use. If you practice, you get stronger and it's easier to do. We're hoping if you never do magic, the ability will simply go away for you. Or at least be very hard to do accidentally.”

Disappointed, I frowned down at the sink. This really sucked. Nanna was always telling me to focus on the good in every situation. But there seemed to be absolutely nothing positive about my life right now.

After a slight hesitation, Mom came the rest of the way into the bathroom and leaned against the edge of the sink's counter. “Look, Savannah, I know it's hard, but try to see
things from everyone else's point of view, too. You are special, incredibly so. Other than in myths, you're the first dhampir in proven existence from your father's line, the first real live half vampire, half human.”

“You mean half witch,” I muttered, aiming for sarcasm. Which she ignored.

“Right. Until you, no one thought vampires from your father's line could even get a human pregnant. Then your father and I broke the rules, I got pregnant, and we got married.”

“Wait. You got pregnant
then
got married?”

She gave a sheepish grin. “Yeah, you know, sometimes it works that way. But it was worth it. Even when our marriage meant your father lost his seat on the council—”

“Because of me?”

She winced. “Not quite. More a combination of factors…like drinking Clann blood to block his thoughts from the council so he could break their rules, marry a human and have a baby.”

But they only got married
after
they found out they were going to have me. So didn't that still make it my fault that Dad was kicked off the council?

“Anyways,” she continued, “when you actually made it to full term then survived the first year of life, everyone on both sides of the equation went nuts. The vampire council thinks you're going to be some sort of secret weapon for the Clann if you develop magical skills. And the Clann is afraid you'll either go fully vampire and try to eat them all or use magic against them.” She laughed.

I couldn't breathe.

Her smile faded. “Oh, sorry, baby. Your father and I spent years joking about everyone's crazy fears. They're all ridiculously paranoid, on both sides of the line. Before your birth, they actually thought he and I had teamed up to rid the world
of both the Clann and all the vampires! Bunch of fruitcakes. But I guess it's not that funny to you at first.”

I let a glare be my answer. Inside, I was shaking again. Just when I thought I was starting to get a grip on all of this…now I was both a career ender for Dad
and
some sort of a ticking time bomb? No wonder I was such a disappointment to him.

“That's why the Brat Twins call me a freak. Why did you even keep me?” I muttered then clamped my lips shut. I so had not meant to say that out loud.

She gripped my shoulders, forcing me to meet her gaze. “Savannah, from the moment I found out I was pregnant with you, you have been nothing short of a miracle. Do you understand?
A miracle.
Not strange, not scary, not a freak and certainly not a threat to anyone. You've always been a sweet, precious miracle born out of love.”

A love that had lasted all of three years. “So if I was such a miracle, and you two were so in love you just had to break all the rules to be together…why'd you get divorced?”

She bit her lower lip, hesitating for a long time before sighing. “A lot of factors, I guess. Mostly, it was my fault. I was young, far too young to handle it all. And too young to really know what love was. I thought I was in love with your father. But now I know I was more in love with the idea of being with a vampire and breaking the rules. We were like Bonnie and Clyde, modern-day rebels running from our worlds' laws, hiding out on the lam.” She grinned. “It was a lot of fun. Until we had a baby who needed safety and security. Then suddenly being on the run wasn't so much fun anymore. When I realized I was responsible for your life and protecting you, it just didn't make sense anymore to be with your father. The council and the Clann both agreed you and I could live with your grandmother as long as I ended my marriage. And while I still loved your father, I wasn't in love with him anymore.
Loving your father was an adventure and a selfish fantasy, and it was great while it lasted. But having you made me realize I needed to wake up, grow up and think about others for a change.”

“Let me get this straight. You broke up with Dad for me?”

“Not just for you. For peace between the Clann and the vampires, too. Both groups have members all over the world. If your father and I had stayed together, worldwide war could have broken out again between them. A lot of people would have died, and that would have been my fault. And I didn't love your father enough anymore for it to be worth that.”

“But why come back to Jacksonville? Why not raise me somewhere else? Someplace where there weren't as many Clann around?”

She smiled and shrugged. “Because Jacksonville has always been my home. And besides, I needed your grandma's help to raise you. Dhampir babies don't exactly come with a handbook, you know.”

I managed a smile for her, but it faded fast. “Except, now I have to go to school with kids who seem to know what I am. And call me
freak
every day.”

Mom hugged me. “I know it's hard, hon. But you've got to learn how to live your own life and don't worry about what the Clann thinks, or what the vampire council thinks, or what anybody says about you. None of this changes who you are inside. That's only up to you and what you choose. And even though this is all a shock, and maybe things in your life might start to change a little here and there, I promise you're going to be okay. As long as you follow the rules, that is.”

Which was to stay away from the Clann. Yeah, I got it already. Except… “Mom, you and Nanna used to be in the Clann, too. What if I—”

“Don't worry. Like you teens love to say…we've got skills.”
She gave a lopsided grin. “Or at least your Nanna does. All I ever learned how to do was throw stuff and make fire. And even that was only because your Nanna absolutely insisted on it for minimal protection.”

“Why didn't you want to learn how to do magic?”

“Hon, you live in the post–Harry Potter world, where you teens think magic is awesome. I lived in the pre–Harry Potter times. I was witchy when witchy wasn't cool.”

Huh. “What about the Clann kids at school? Dad said to avoid them, but how can I when I've got classes with them, have to pass them in the halls, eat with them in the cafeteria?”

“You should be okay at a distance. Like your father said, they've probably got charms on them to dull their attraction to any vampire. And even if you do start to feel the bloodlust at some point, if you keep your distance and pay attention to your body, you'll know if it becomes a problem. If it does, you call me or Nanna or your father immediately and go to the nurse's station till one of us gets there. Okay?”

I thought of how close Tristan sat behind me in algebra, and the pain in my chest and stomach that hit me every time he was near. Keeping my distance might be a problem. I'd just have to try to sort out my usual confused feelings around him from anything new that might come up. Like a sudden attraction to his neck.

“Why is the Clann even letting us stay here? Wouldn't they want me as far away from them and their kids as possible?”

Her smile turned sad. “You know that saying ‘keep your friends close and your enemies closer'? I think it's like that. They don't want you to get too close or spend time alone with any of their descendants. But they also want to be able to keep an eye on you. Plus there's the chance that one day you might decide to…help them out.”

“Help them out?”

“You know. Be on their side if there's ever another war with the vampires.”

The Clann thought I would side with them against my own father? I snorted. They must be insane. After the way the Clann kids had treated me and my family for the past five years…

Well, not all of them had bullied me
all
the time. A memory flashed through my mind of emerald eyes staring back at me. Of strong, warm hands on my shoulders, stopping me from falling in algebra class, when he could have just let me do a face-plant onto my desk.

“I guess it's a good thing I don't want to date anyone in the Clann anyways, huh?”

Laughing, Mom picked up a hairbrush and began to tug it through my tangled hair, ignoring my facial expression each time she found a new snag. “Uh, yeah. Dating someone from the Clann could start another war. Lordy, I can see it now. The Clann would think you were stalking one of their own to drain them. The vamps would think you were siding with the Clann. It'd be mass chaos in no time.” She shook her head and grinned. “But we don't have to worry about that, right? You've hated the Clann's kids for years now.”

I forced a weak chuckle and took the brush away from her before she could accidentally brush me bald. “Yeah. Right. They're first-class jerks.”

“Any other questions?” Her tone had turned bright and cheerful, like she had simply been helping me with my home work or something.

I shook my head and tried to remember how to breathe normally past the lump in my throat. Why couldn't I just go back to my life of a week ago, back when things weren't perfect, but at least they were normal?

“Aw, honey.” She patted my shoulder. “Please stop worrying. You're going to be okay.”

“How do you know I'll be okay? What if—”

“Because you come from my side of the family, too. And we Evans women are strong. With or without magic, we know how to kick butt in life.”

“And throw a mean plate?” I managed to joke.

She laughed. “Exactly. And speaking of which, aren't you starving by now? Your Nanna made her special fried chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy just the way you like them.”

I made my lips curve into a smile. “Sure, sounds great.” Why wouldn't I be hungry? After all, just because normal life as I'd known it was over, that shouldn't affect my appetite, right?