Crash Into Me (7 page)

“Get the hell away from me,” he snarled right before he got to his bedroom door.

She’d followed him and though he refused to look at her, he felt her recoil at his
words. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just wanted to help.”

“What am I, a fucking charity case? When are you going to get it through your head
that I don’t need your help? I don’t
want
your help! I’m
fine
,” he roared, putting his hands on her shoulders and backing her up against the hallway
wall. Her eyes widened, the pulse at the base of her neck suddenly beating triple
time.

He slid his hand from her shoulder to her collarbone, then up so his fingers were
resting against the hollow of her throat. “I told you to stop, told you to back off.
I told you I didn’t want to talk about it. But you keep pushing and pushing.”

He could feel her heart beating wildly beneath his hand, her breaths coming faster
and faster. In response, he stroked his fingers over her too-fast pulse, then waited
to see what she’d do. He wouldn’t hurt her—would
never
hurt her—but he wasn’t above backing her off if it would get him some peace.

She licked her lips, whispered his name. But his plan had backfired. There was no
wariness in her eyes, no trepidation. Only the same desire that was currently raging
inside of him. “Ryder—”

“You’re still talking.” He skimmed his palm up to her jaw, pressed his thumb against
her mouth, and rubbed. The final remnants of last night’s lipstick smeared across
her cheek.

“I’m sorry.”

She was apologizing for a lot more than saying his name, but he didn’t want to hear
it. She’d pushed him too far. “So am I.”

Still, they couldn’t stand here like this all morning. He shifted, started to back
off. And that’s when she did the one thing he absolutely wasn’t expecting. She bit
him, hard, her small, white teeth sinking sharply into the pad of his thumb.

Chapter Seven

Jamison watched, heart in her throat, as Ryder’s eyes darkened from black to oblivion.
She didn’t know why she’d done it except that there were so many emotions roiling
around inside of her that she hadn’t known what to do with them all. Pity, sorrow,
nervousness, affection,
lust…

She knew she should have heeded his warning, knew she had no right to push him the
way she had. But he was drowning and he didn’t even realize it. She’d had to say something.
Then, when he’d backed her up against the wall—like that would do anything but turn
her on—he’d been so beautiful and so angry and so
sexy
that she’d just snapped.

Now it looked like Ryder was the one on the brink of snapping. She expected, was prepared,
for him to back off. To yell at her or threaten her or storm into his bedroom and
slam the door, effectively ending their conversation once and for all. But in the
end, he did none of those.

Instead, he leaned forward, pressing his body against hers. His chest to her breasts.
His hips to her stomach. She could feel him everywhere, hot and hard and haunted.
Her lids grew heavy, threatened to close, but she kept them up with sheer force of
will. She’d been waiting so long for him to look at her like this, to touch her like
this. No way was she missing a second of it.

Then his other hand slid from her shoulder to her jaw so that he was cupping both
sides of her face, and her knees went weak.

“Ryder.” It was more a whimper than a word.

He closed his eyes, rested his forehead against hers. The tightness in his shoulders,
the look of anguish on his face, was almost unbearable. She wanted—needed—to soothe
him.

“Tell me to go to bed,” he whispered, sounding anguished. “To leave you alone.”

“No.” She wouldn’t do that. Not now, not ever. She wrapped her arms around his waist,
held him to her. He was shaking, but then again, so was she. How could she not be
when his lips were only an inch or so away from hers?

“Do it.”

“No.” She tightened her hold.

He groaned, a low, tortured sound that ripped through every part of her. And then
he was lowering his mouth, tilting her chin. Pressing his lips gently, softly, to
hers.

In those early, unbelievable moments, Jamison’s first thought was that Ryder
really
knew how to kiss.

Her second thought was that this kiss, which she had longed for for at least a decade,
had been more than worth the wait.

Her third thought— Oh, who was she kidding? There was no third thought. There was
nothing but desire, pleasure,
need
as his mouth claimed hers. As his tongue swept along the seam of her lips, exploring
the corners of her mouth and scrambling whatever brain cells she hadn’t killed off
with her drinking binge.

“You taste so good,” he murmured, then sucked her lower lip gently between his teeth.
She gasped at the sensation, at the soft, repetitive suction that sent chills skittering
up and down her spine. Ryder laughed quietly at her reaction, his fingers tightening
on her hip and in her hair—not enough to hurt but definitely enough to remind her
that he was there. And that he was calling the shots.

“So do you,” she whispered against his mouth, licking her lips in an effort to get
more of him. He tasted just like he smelled—like tequila and limes and warm, salty
ocean breezes.

From the moment she’d moved to San Diego, she’d been drawn to the beach. To the smell
and taste and sound of it. She wondered now if what she’d liked most about the water
was that, subconsciously at least, it had reminded her of him. Of Ryder.

His hand tugged on her hair, calling her back to the present even as he tilted her
head to the angle that would give him the best access. And then his mouth was on hers
again, drawing her lower lip between his teeth so he could nibble softly on it before
soothing the small hurt with his tongue.

She moaned a little, brought her own hands up to bury them in the cool silk of his
hair. He felt so good, tasted so good, that she wished she could live in this moment
forever. Wished she could freeze time so that there was no tour to take him away from
her, no job issue for her to worry about, no groupies to flaunt themselves in front
of him.

So that there was nothing and no one but her and him and the electricity that arced
between them.

It was a silly wish, and a dangerous one. The tiny part of her brain that was still
functioning screamed at her to stop this, to stop
him
before she got in too deep, but it was hard to hear the warning over the ragged edges
of her breathing, the loud pounding of her heart. She wouldn’t have heeded it anyway,
not at that moment when she had Ryder exactly where she’d always wanted him. In her
arms.

He tilted her head back a little more and whatever small amount of rationality she
had deserted her. But how could it not when he was devouring her, his mouth and body
and tortured soul enveloping her own until all she could think of was him. She moaned
low in her throat, tangled her fingers in his hair, and yanked. The time for gentleness,
for the subtle build of desire, was long gone. Need was a wild, wanton thing between
them, rising like a tidal wave until it all but swamped her.

It was her turn to nip at his mouth, to run her tongue over his teeth, the roof of
his mouth, the sensitive skin between his gum and his upper lip. He groaned, sucked
her tongue deep into his mouth, and she gasped. She’d never been kissed like this
before, never felt such brutal, beautiful carnality for any other man. She wanted
to hang on to this moment forever, to savor it—and him—for as long as she could.

For as long as he would let her.

His fingers swept beneath the hem of her T-shirt, skimmed up her rib cage to softly
stroke her stomach and lower back. She shivered—it felt so good—then slid her hands
slowly up his back.

He was lean but muscular from all those hours of guitar playing and working out when
he couldn’t sleep . She’d seen him without his shirt on a million times through the
years—in person and on-screen and in photos—but she’d never realized how good it would
feel to touch him. To run her hands up his spine and over the taut muscles of his
upper back. To slide her fingers over the sexy ink of his tattoos.

He was hard and hot and so inviting she wanted to lick him up right there in the hallway.
She would do it, too, just as soon as she could bring herself to stop kissing him.
Which, now that she thought about it, might not be for a while. He tasted too good.

His fingers were on the buttons at the front of her shirt now. Then they were tracing
along the line of her bra, his warm palms resting on her stomach. A shiver of desire
worked its way through her, and Jamison clutched at his shoulders for support.

He smiled against her lips, pressed her more firmly into the wall as he continued
his exploration. Her loss of control hadn’t even fazed him, but then he was probably
used to women going weak-kneed around him.

The thought pulled her out of her Ryder-induced sex stupor. Not completely, but enough
for her self-consciousness to rear its ugly head. She turned her head to break the
kiss, covered his hands with her own. He stopped instantly, like she’d known he would.

Of course, the second he did, she could have kicked herself for stopping him. What
was wrong with her? Ryder had been with dozens of women,
hundreds
of women probably, in the last few years. But she wanted this, wanted him—badly—so
why had her conscience picked this moment to bombard her with second thoughts? Why
had she stopped him when he’d obviously been into it? Into her?

Because, she acknowledged with a grimace, she didn’t want to be just another notch
on his bedpost, another girl that he forgot as soon as he’d zipped his pants. She
wanted to know that she mattered to him. If not in the same way he mattered to her,
then at least enough for him to choose her and not just sleep with her as a means
to stop the pain she knew he carried deep inside himself.

When she didn’t say anything, or make any move to disentangle herself from his hold,
Ryder murmured, “Jamison, baby? Are you okay?”

He was breathing hard, even panting a little, and his obvious arousal made her feel
a million times more secure. As did his concern for her. Even if it was just for now,
just for this short moment of time, Ryder wanted her, cared about her. It was enough.

She lightly pushed on his shoulders. When he stepped away, looking wary and more than
a little confused, she grabbed onto his hand and continued back down the hall to the
bedroom she had woken up in. Once he realized where she was going, Ryder stiffened.
Stopped.

Jamison froze, her cheeks burning with humiliation. She’d been wrong. She’d assumed
too much. Ryder didn’t want her after all. “I—I—”

His mouth fastened on her shoulder before she could apologize, his tongue licking
over the curve where her neck met the smooth line of her shoulder. The slow, wet circles
had her eyes crossing and her sex clenching with desire and relief. He did want her.
Thank God.

She tilted her head back, rested it against his chest to give him better access. Her
eyes fluttered closed even as she fought against it. She couldn’t help it. It felt
so good,
he
felt so good that she didn’t even register the sound of a door opening at the beginning
of the hall.

At least not until Jaredyelled, “What the
hell
is going on here?”

…

At the sound of his best friend’s voice, the sensual fog that had enveloped Ryder
from the moment he first touched Jamison fell away. He blinked a couple of times,
took in the fury on Jared’s face. Then looked down at Jamison in an effort to figure
out just how bad it looked.

Shit. They were fucked. Or at least he was.

The top of her shirt was open, her full, luscious breasts spilling over the top of
her black lace bra. Her pale, redhead’s skin was flushed pink with arousal and her
lips were swollen from his kisses. Not to mention the fact that the second she stepped
away from him it would be obvious to Jared just how hot Jamison had gotten him. His
dick was hard enough to pound nails, even with Jared looking at him like he wanted
to rip him limb from limb.

“It’s not—”

“What it looks like?” Jared’s eyes narrowed dangerously.

As did Jamison’s, who had turned around to stare at him in disbelief even as she buttoned
up the top of her shirt. Damn it, there was no way for him to win this.

He threw up his hands. “Okay, so it��s exactly what it looks like.”

“Yeah, I’m well aware of that. Asshole.”

Jamison turned to glare at Jared. “Why don’t you go back to sleep? This isn’t any
of your business,” she said.

Jared gaped at her, his mouth opening and closing as he thought of—and discarded—what
looked like a hundred different things to say. He finally settled on, “You’re my sister!”

“Yes, I am.
Sister,
not daughter. I’ve never gotten in the way when you were
with
someone. I’d appreciate the same courtesy.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder
in a gesture loaded with indignation, then slipped through the doorway into Ryder’s
room. “Are you coming?” she asked him over her shoulder.

It was his turn to stare at her, mouth opening and closing like a trout as he tried
to find his way through the minefield that had just sprung up in front of him. A quick
glance at Jared told him his friend would kill him if he so much as moved an inch
in Jamison’s direction. And while Ryder wasn’t known for walking away from a fight,
he wasn’t about to throw down with Jared. Not when he was clearly the one in the wrong
here.

Shit. What the
hell
had he been thinking? How had he gotten so pissed off, freaked out, and turned upside
down that kissing Jamison had seemed like a good idea? He knew what had happened
after
he’d kissed her—she was so sweet, so
hot
, that he hadn’t been able to think about anything but being inside of her. But why
had he kissed her in the first place? With his past—and present—he had no business
going anywhere near a woman like her, and he knew it even if she didn’t.

“Look,” he finally said to her. “Why don’t you get some sleep? We can…talk more later.”

“Talk?” The word dripped with sarcasm. “Is that what we were doing?”

He shoved a frustrated hand through his hair. “Jamison—”

“Don’t strain yourself thinking up an excuse,” she told him, nose in the air. “I get
it.”

She didn’t get a damned thing and he didn’t know how to explain it to her. Not right
now when his brain was still fuzzy with desire and his cock still ached with the need
to bury itself inside of her.

He would never be able to do right by her—even if he wanted to. There was too much
darkness inside of him, too many things he’d done that he couldn’t take back. The
chemistry between him and Jamison might suddenly be off the charts, but that didn’t
mean there could be something between them. Because there couldn’t be. He wouldn’t
allow
there to be.

Now if only he hadn’t let his dick do the thinking for the last ten minutes, none
of this would have happened. He wouldn’t be sick to his stomach, Jared wouldn’t look
like he wanted to rip out his vocal cords and Jamison…Jamison wouldn’t look so damned
hurt as she slammed the bedroom door shut behind her. Forget Jared, if he could have
reached it, he would have kicked his own ass. He sure as hell deserved it.e He sHe

The sound of the door slamming echoed down the hallway and seemed to release Jared
from whatever shock-induced stupor he’d been thrown into. Three seconds later he was
in Ryder’s face, shoving him down the hall. “What are you doing?” he demanded, low
and vicious. “What the
fuck
are you doing?”