Crash and Burn (Crash and Burn, Book One) (A Military Romance) (5 page)

After a minute or so of this, she’s writhing under my palm, no longer self-conscious. I can feel her hand rubbing against my pelvis as she touches her cunt. I roll onto my side so I can watch.

The burnished-red trim on her bared mound is clipped neat, and her lower lips are dripping wet as her fingers slick along her slit. She rubs her clit, her mouth open, eyes closed. I can smell the musk of her arousal, hear the slipperiness of her juices as she strokes herself. My girl is good and worked up, and I feel my balls tighten with the urge to spill my seed.

Her limbs start to clench. I can see she’s getting close. While it’s so fucking tempting to let her finish herself off, I stop her by grabbing her hand and sucking her fingers into my mouth. Her juices fill my senses, the delicate earthiness I’ve been craving for so many years. I can’t help myself—I move between her thighs, resting on my knees, and drop my face down to her pussy. Breathe her in, swipe my tongue along the soaking lips.

She bucks against my mouth, and I pin her pelvis down with one hand, spreading her legs wide with the other so I can nestle better in between her legs. “Don’t move,” I order her.

She stops instantly. I can see her body giving off little shivers, but she doesn’t disobey me. I think my cock would shoot off if she touched it, but I don’t want to come. I want this to be about her.

I return my attention to taking in every sensory detail I can about her pussy. The light pink flush of her nether lips. The rich tang of her liquid, the wetness, how I can see her body clenching and shuddering in anticipation.

Hands clamped on her thighs to keep them apart, I dart my tongue out and nudge it along her clit. She stiffens, and I feel her muscles bunch under my firm grip. Her skin is creamy soft; I let my fingers stroke the flesh. Meanwhile I dive into her cunt and feast on her, her come covering my face, her scent enveloping me. Need is spiraling in my gut, and I’m going to lose my grip soon if she doesn’t orgasm. I slip two fingers into her, feel her tightness clench around me, and groan hard. Fuck, she’s gushing all over my hand.

I want to plunge inside her so badly it’s making me insane. I can barely think, barely breathe, barely notice anything beyond her beautiful apex.

I curl my fingers to stroke her G spot, and her breathing becomes harsh, panting. I lavish her slit with my tongue, lick everywhere, slide down to the thin stretch of skin right above her puckered asshole, then move back up to her lower lips and nibble, suck, press the flesh. “Come for me,” I growl. “Come on my mouth, kitten. I want to taste it.”

Her whole body clenches, her pussy so tight it traps my fingers, and she says, “Oh Cole, yes, yes, I’m…” She exhales hard and cries out, and I suck her button clit as she comes all over my face.

I ride the wave with her, her arousal so potent it’s almost my own. As she descends, I press an open-mouthed kiss to her inner thighs, then one to her soaking pussy, and move up to lie beside her, taking my undershirt and balling it up as a pillow for me. My cock aches for me to take it out and fist it, to shoot this load dying to get out, but I’ve decided I’m not doing that, not yet. This night had to be about her, and if I’m honest, the torture of waiting to come inside her is fucking heady.

Lauren snuggles into my embrace and rests her head on my arm. Her limbs are molten, her body curving against mine, and I wrap her against me and kiss her forehead. The sleepy sigh she gives me in response makes my heart hurt. This is what I want even more than fucking her senseless. I want to fall asleep every night with her in my arms. How can I settle for anything less?

“That felt good,” she murmurs in a thick tone. “But…we didn’t…” Her hand starts to drift down my bare chest toward my pants, and I stop her movement with a firm but careful clench of my hand.

“Sleep now,” I whisper. “I’m fine.” This will do for the time being. But the next time I have her—and God help me, I hope there is a next time—I’m not going to stop at just tasting her.

“
T
GIF
!” Emme says to me as she opens my office door. Her grin is wide and welcoming, and the pale pink dress she’s wearing hugs her curves nicely. Her hair flows around her shoulders, unbound. “I updated your calendar to move the Wheeler meeting to Tuesday, as you requested. They’re really excited to meet with you. The woman couldn’t stop talking about what a great job you did on her cousin’s renovation. She has high hopes you’ll help her too.”

I pull up our shared calendar on my computer and quickly type a note to myself about what to bring with me to the meeting, then look at Emme. “I want you to come with me. You’re free, right?”

She nods, and her grateful smile makes my heart happy. “Of course,” she gushes. “Glad to. This sounds like a fun project—we don’t get a lot of bed and breakfasts, so it’ll be a good way to expand my knowledge base.”

“And they desperately need the updating,” I reply, grimacing as I recall the outdated orange-and-green color schemes, the worn-out furniture, the chipped tile flooring. So heinous. No wonder they’re not pulling in enough clientele. A face-lift will make a huge difference in their business. “If anyone can pull them out of the seventies with style, I think we can.”

“Absolutely.” With a nod, Emme exits my office, and it’s quiet in here once again. Too quiet.

I’m left alone with my rampant thoughts, which haven’t stopped hammering in my brain since Wednesday night’s lock-in. I can’t stop thinking about what happened between me and Cole. That soul-searing kiss. The way he made me come so hard I practically saw stars. And then I fell asleep in his arms, more protected and secure than I remember ever feeling. Despite being on the floor, I was pretty comfortable in his embrace.

Thankfully I dressed at some point during the night, because he and I woke up early Thursday morning to his brother Xander stomping down the steps, utterly confused and wondering why we were sleeping in the basement. When we told him we got locked in, he apologized profusely—of course, laughing his ass off as well.

Xander didn’t seem to detect anything had happened between me and Cole, so I was able to slip away with my dignity intact. At least it didn’t feel like the walk of shame.

I thought distance and space yesterday would help me gain perspective on the whole situation. Instead, I feel like I’ve slipped down the rabbit hole, and everything is different than it should be. A big part of me wants things to go back to how they were before, when our relationship was safe and stable and normal. Adding the sexual element in is going to change things between us, I just know it will.

And yet…I can’t stop thinking about Cole’s talented mouth between my legs, his fingers and tongue stroking me to orgasm. It was mind-blowing, unexpected, and it’s changed the way I see him now. His sexual prowess was magnetic that night, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what it would feel like to have full-on sex with the man. Limbs tangled, sweat-slicked torsos, mouths locked, breaths intermingled… I sigh and wave a piece of paper in front of my face to cool down.

Is it possible for he and I to be, I dunno, friends with benefits and
not
screw up our friendship? If so, is that what I want? And does he? Or was that a one-time event for him? He didn’t even come, so maybe not…?

The ache in my lower belly at the thought of feeling Cole buried deep inside me tells me that at least the physical part of me wants it. Badly.

My phone buzzes. Speak of the devil, a text from Cole. My fingers shake a little and I hesitate before looking to see what he wrote. We haven’t talked much, mostly through random messages here and there. No mention of what happened Wednesday night—the event that pretty much turned my world upside down.

I finally look.

Busy tonight? Let’s hang out.

I both want to and don’t at the same time, and I hate how angsty this is making me. I type back,
Shit, can’t, sorry. I’m taking a half day today—promised to hang with Christina for lunch and shopping, since she has it off too. She’ll kick my ass if I bail on her.

My sister’s job as a nurse keeps her busy as hell, so we don’t get together as much as we’d like to. Whenever she has free time, I try to make sure I’m there. We planned this date a couple of months ago, and despite the uncomfortable itch beneath my skin to see Cole again, I can’t cancel.

Bring her with you. Haven’t hung out with her in ages—it’ll be fun.

I don’t know if I’m relieved or disappointed that he suggested this. After all, if we’re not alone, we don’t have to talk about The Thing That Happened. Then again, that means we won’t do anything else about The Thing That Happened, either.

My phone vibrates with a new text from Cole:
Say yes. We’ll play pool and I’ll rob you blind. I’ll bring a buddy along too.

Well, I can’t be the one to make it awkward between us. If we’re hanging in a group, it’ll make that first meeting easier. Maybe even help me get past this weird conflict and start feeling normal again
.

I’ll ask her and get back to you,
I write.
But I’m pretty sure it’ll be fine.

He’s not making a big deal out of it, so I shouldn’t either. Maybe it was one of those things where he checked an item off a list he made while overseas—try sushi, ride a bull, kiss a friend. And it just got carried away, but now it’s done and his curiosity is sated, and we’ll go back to normal.

After all, if he wanted me
that
badly, wouldn’t he have let me give him an orgasm too?

The thought of being a one-time checklist item makes my stomach sink. Okay, I admit, more than a small part of me aches to explore the chemistry between us. But instead of overanalyzing it, the way I’ve been doing, I should just let it happen. If nothing comes of tonight, so be it.

But if Cole shows any signs of wanting me…well, we’ll just see, I guess. Still, kinda glad I’m going shopping this afternoon so I can buy something to cute to wear. A girl never knows what’s going to happen, right?

* * *

I
take
a bite of my chocolate brownie. Close my eyes for a moment and savor the thick, fudgy taste. “Oh my God, this is the most amazing brownie I’ve ever had in my life.”

“See?” Christina says in triumph. She shoots me a cocky grin. “Told ya. I’ve never had a bad dessert here.”

My sis and I are at a local Mediterranean café, where we already inhaled our lunches. I ate way too much hummus, and she consumed more stuffed grape leaves than a human is supposed to. Needless to say, the food has been great. In between bites, we’ve talked nonstop about our jobs, her telling me stories of the crazy kids she encounters in pediatrics, me talking about a recent project I worked on with a diva client who changed her mind a hundred times every damn step of the process.

I drop my fork and rub my belly. I don’t know if I can finish the dessert, but I’m no quitter, so I’m going to keep going until I do. I just need a moment to breathe. “So,” I say, “I got a text from Cole earlier—”

“What did he say?” she interrupts. She perks up and eyes me with interest. “You said he’s moved back here, right?”

I nod. “Yeah, and he wants to hang out with us tonight, after we go shopping. That sound okay? We’ll play pool, have some beer, and I’ll school his arrogant ass on the fine art of using a cue.”

Christina sits up straighter now. “Totally. I mean, if you want me to come along…” She pauses, eyeing her food, and I see a faint flush crawl up her throat. Skin so like mine, showing everything she’s feeling. What is she nervous or anxious about? She tucks a strand of red hair behind her ear. “Did…did Cole ask if I wanted to come? How did it come up in the conversation?”

A weird sensation settles in my chest, and I narrow my eyes a touch. “He said he wanted to hang out with us, that it’s been a while since he’s seen you. Why?”

“Oh, I’m just curious, that’s all. We haven’t talked much since he got back to the States. Just a few random emails.”

That pressure in my chest builds. Christina emailed Cole? Since when? Neither one of them ever said anything about that to me. I wonder why. “Oh, really? How long have you guys been talking?”

She waves a delicate hand in the air and reaches for her fork to eat more brownie. The gesture is casual, but the flush spreading across her cheeks and the light in her eyes are anything but. “Oh, just for a little while.” She tries not to smile too widely as her cheeks redden that much more. “It’ll be nice to see him, though.”

My sister hasn’t shown serious interest in a guy in at least a couple of years. Nursing keeps her busy, and she says it’s more fulfilling than going on a series of terrible dates that don’t satisfy the need for connection she really wants.

But I know the true reason she’s been hesitant to settle down all these years. The old guilt flares up in me, and I lose my appetite.

Christina hops out of her chair. “I’m going to run to the restroom. Be back in a sec.” She sounds breathless, and I know it’s because she’s thinking about Cole.

When you’ve known someone your entire life and seen them crushing, falling in love, going through the ups and downs of various relationships—you can practically read their expressions like a book.

“Yeah, sure,” I say in a false jovial tone. “Don’t fall in.” An old joke between us.

She grins and rolls her eyes, then heads down the aisle away from me.

The smile falls from my face. Shit, this is so not good. How is it all this time I had no idea that my younger sister had a crush on Cole? When did this happen? Could he be part of the reason why she hasn’t been dating anyone—because she’s secretly holding a candle for Cole?

I exhale hard and struggle to control the emotions warring in my belly. Angst. Guilt. Fear. After my big fuck-up in college my senior year, which was her sophomore year, Christina and I didn’t talk forever. It took her a long time to forgive me, and it hasn’t been until the last couple of years when she’s dropped her guard and let me back into her life, little by little.

Sleeping with her estranged boyfriend, Max, was the worst thing I could ever have done to my own sister, and I still don’t know how to forgive myself for it. It was so bad that I never even told Cole about it, that’s how horrible and ashamed I felt. I was drunk, Max was drunk, he was crying on my shoulder about how bad things were between him and Christina, and the next thing I knew, he and I were in bed together. The following day Max confessed it to her, hung over and feeling like shit, begging her to forgive him.

She never talked to Max again. And it took a long time of me slowly working my way back into her life for her to forgive my betrayal.

I stare blankly at my brownie. Yeah, I don’t feel like eating the rest now. All I can do is obsess about the fact that my sister has a crush on my best friend, who did something very dirty to me the other night, and deep down I want him to do it again.

And there’s no way in hell that’s going to happen now.

Putting a guy above my sister cost me everything. I can’t risk it again, not even for my best friend. Especially not for a fling that will likely die out and then break up our friendship, anyway.

If I was looking for a sign on what to do about Cole, well, it’s presented itself loud and clear. Our sexual encounter in the basement was a one-time thing, never to be repeated.

God, and I’m going to see him tonight. Blah. How messed up will it be to watch my sister crushing on him, flirting with him, while I try to not remember how turned on he made me? Granted, I have no idea how he feels about her, and it’s possible he’s not interested in her in that manner. But if she has feelings for him, I’ll feel like crap getting in the way of her finally taking another chance at love. Because she loved Max, and she’s never been serious about anyone else since.

My sister returns to her seat, dropping down with a happy sigh. Her navy-blue dress flatters her skin tone. She’s really pretty, has always been a little prettier than me, something I never felt jealous of before today. I squash the thought of wondering what Cole will think of her.

“You about ready to head out?” she says. “Hurry up and finish your dessert. We have a lot of shopping to get done if we want to look good tonight.” Her mouth curves up, her pale pink lipstick freshly applied in the bathroom. I can tell she’s thinking about Cole.

I can’t believe I missed it before, because it’s clear from the look on her face, the softness in her eyes.

She’s had these feelings for a while, and I just never knew, probably because she didn’t have any hope about him being in town and her exploring a relationship with him.

Disappointment dampens my spirit at the thought of moving back into the friend zone with Cole. And God help me, there’s a tiny, wicked part of me that wants to see him tonight, wondering if that chemistry will still be there.

I push the plate away and wave at the waiter to bring us the bill. “I’m stuffed. Let’s pay up and get out of here.”

No matter what I’m feeling right now, I can’t ever, ever,
ever
tell my sister that something happened on Wednesday night between me and Cole. That secret will go with me to the grave. I can’t be the one to hurt her again, regardless of my conflicted emotions about him.