Crash (19 page)

I’ve thought a lot about how to end this book. How do I end a book about one of the dearest people in the world to me? How do I end what has at times taken every ounce of my strength to simply show up at the page? The writer Red Smith once said, “Writing is easy. All you do is sit down at the typewriter and open up a vein.” Obviously Red was writing in another era: an era of Royals and Remingtons and Underwoods. But the sentiment is timeless. Writing and bleeding have at times felt very much the same to me.

But Neil’s story, in many ways, is just beginning. His future, though informed by a very arduous and obstacle-filled past, is brightening. It is a new start for us all.

Book Group Discussion Points

• Guilt is a major theme in
Crash.
Under what circumstances does guilt emerge in the author? Is the guilt justified?

• In “The Offender” what is the importance of the distinction between anger and hatred? Why is one acceptable and the other not?

• In the prologue the crash is identified as a dividing line, separating the before and after. What other dividing lines emerge as the story moves on?

• In “Please, Please, Please” the author makes a distinction between faith and fatalism. What is the difference between these two concepts, and why is that difference important?

• Grief is another overarching motif in the book. Is grief the same thing as bereavement? Or is grief in the eye of the beholder, so to speak? Is there any grief that is not valid?

• In “POV” Neil’s learning of Trista’s death is seen from two different points of view: mother and son. How does our point of view color our perception of events? Consider age, timing, event, and circumstances.

• How does the way each parent learned of the events shape his or her ultimate interpretation of outcomes?

• How is Dr. Roy-Bornstein supported by and failed by her medical community?

• The family struggles with its interactions with the media. What role do modern media play in private tragedy?

• What role does the author’s medical background play in how she reacts to her son’s accident?

• Define grace. What role does grace play in the family’s healing?

Acknowledgments

I have to thank the members of my writing group—Lisa Mahoney, Shelley Carpenter, and Margaret Flaherty—for their tireless willingness to read essay after essay, chapter after chapter, and rewrite after rewrite, offering feedback on everything from the placement of a comma to the impact of a word. Ladies, this was truly a group effort.

To my husband, Saul, and my son Dan: Thank you for being my shared memory in this journey and my eye to the details that escaped me in my fear and angst.

To my agent, Daniel Bial, and my editor, Mary Norris, this book would not have been possible without your confidence, dedication, and work on my behalf. Thanks for believing in me.

To Shannon Berning, I am grateful to you for seeing the book that was trying to emerge from the one I was originally writing.

To Mary Zinck, the “other mother” in this story. We’ve been in this together from the beginning. I have learned much from your brave, no-holds-barred attitude.

Most of all, to Neil: You are the hero of this book and of my life. Your ability to grow, to learn, to adapt, and to teach has been an inspiration to me. I am not a good enough writer to put into words my love for you. Just know that it is there, constant, certain, everlasting.

About the Author