Crain's Landing (30 page)

“Grant told me a week later he had been accepted to medical school. I played the part of the excited girlfriend, but deep inside I was planning to leave.” She was quiet for a moment, eyes remaining on her empty glass, fingers wrapped so tightly her knuckles were white. “It must have been about a month later when I was getting back from a dance lesson, that I first thought something was wrong. Momma had been after me to send in my application for the Miss South Carolina beauty pageant. I was mad because it was always her dream for me to compete and win the title, not mine—I never wanted any of it. Not the lessons or the dresses, long hours spent between hair appointments and dental surgeries; making certain my smile was absolutely perfect.” Her eyes bulged slightly as she pushed the glass away from her. “All I ever wanted to do was to go over to Mr. Johnson's farm and ride his horses. I wanted to get dirty playing in the stalls, wear jeans and hats. To cuss like the boys, drink beer, burp and fart like them. But no, Momma wouldn’t hear of her beauty queen having one hair out of place.” She flipped her golden locks to bring home her point.

“It was a Thursday when I took the test. I was locked away in the gas station bathroom because I had just thrown those pageant papers at my momma. We were both so angry and I stormed out, getting dizzy in the process. I went over to the man I was seeing behind Grant’s back, but he wasn’t home. I thought my dizziness was due to my skipping lunch, so I grabbed my candy stash from under my passenger seat, but my hand landed on something else. I pulled out the small, travel tampon box and tried really hard to remember when my last period was.” I placed my hand over my mouth, no need for her to tell me how the test came out.

I stole a test from Dr. Crain’s office, lying to his nurse that I was there to see Grant, even though I knew he was working with his mom that day. I stared at the test for what felt like forever. I didn’t have the courage to go home. Just as I was leaving the bathroom, I saw the baby's father pull in. I ran over to his car, he told me to jump in and we went back to his house. We made love all afternoon and I nearly told him several times, but I just couldn’t. When he dropped me back at my car, Grant was waiting for me, he had been inside the store, saw me running to the car, as well as the kiss I gave him.” She turned slowly as her eyes locked with mine. “Natalie, I was so sick of lying to everyone. I told Grant I didn’t love him the way he needed to be loved. I told him about finding the man who I wanted to be with. I admitted I had been seeing Dale for a while behind his back.”

The gasp left my body completely without my permission.

“Grant didn’t even get angry, and said he knew something wasn’t right between us, then he proceeded to tell me Dale was seeing Janice on the regular.” Her face resembled Peyton’s when I gave her peas for dinner once, scrunched up and rancid. “I was so upset, but I couldn’t tell anybody about the baby. I went home and took every dime I had. I told my momma I was moving to Hollywood to become a famous actress. I only had enough money to get to Colorado, though. I found a couple who owned a horse ranch, they gave me room and board, so I cleaned out stalls and anything else they asked of me.”

The look on her face changed from the angry and spiteful she displayed a moment ago, to loving and serene. “When Greyson was born, Nancy fussed over him as much as I did. Once I was able to return to work, they started teaching me how to work with the horses. I began helping spinal cord victims learn to walk again. I worked and saved and last year when Nancy and her husband, Al, wanted to retire, I bought the business. Now I help Veterans returning from war who have lost a leg.” Her eyes wide with pride, her smile lighting up the room.

“When Momma called to tell me about you and Grant, I decided it was time to let Dale know about Greyson. Time to tell my momma, face to face, there would never be anything between me and Grant. Time to finally introduce Greyson to his grandma.”

I knew exactly how she felt. Running from life when it got too hard was something I had experienced first hand. Holden would never get to have that introduction with Peyton, too much had happened.

“So I came into town, sat down with my momma, and she yelled and screamed until I let her see Greyson. Something inside her changed instantly and she hasn’t let him out of her sight since.” She laughed as she looked in Peyton's direction, her memory giving her joy.

“Calling Dale was a little more difficult. He admitted he had been seeing Janice and several other women. He’s even had his eyes on you.” She turned back to me with her admission. “We talked and cried, but in the end we want to be together, raise Greyson together.” Again, the smile on her face was enormous.

“I was actually waiting on Dale last night when I saw Grant. I hadn’t intended on approaching him while I was here, but once I saw him I couldn’t avoid him.” Her hand returned to my arm, the touch warm and welcomed.

“He finally said something about the time you rounded the first booth. He asked me what the hell I was doing there. The reaction he should have shown while you were still present,” she added with a small smile.

“The man I left behind all those years ago was not the same man I spoke with last night. The Grant I knew was soft spoken and never let anything get to him. Your Grant, the Grant who tossed his phone against a tree in frustration, called me some pretty colorful names, and then sped away in his car.” Her amusement peaked; she found her description to be funny.

“I know he should have handled things differently, but I caught him off guard. Once he got to his house, he called Momma’s and apologized to me. Told me he was so caught up in the moment the two of you shared, he forgot the world around him.” Her hand was patting mine. I looked to the grain of the table, embarrassed now for taking off.

“We talked for several hours last night, I told him about Greyson and he told me about you and your daughter, Peyton. How you have been a very difficult person to get close to. I commend you for that by the way.” She took a deep breath before she removed her hand from my arm.

“Natalie, I can see why you are angry. As a fellow mother, I would have bolted just as quick.” She paused. “But as Grant’s friend, listen to what I am saying; don’t toss away a really great man for the mistake of another.”

Not even a minute after she finished telling me her side of the story, the doorbell rang. Peyton tried to open it, but it was too much or her. I scolded her slightly about opening the door without Mommy to help. Standing in jeans and a T-shirt was Sheriff Dale. Attached to his hip was the cutest little boy, a mini me of Dale.

“You ready to go, babe?” Dale questioned as he held out his hand to Rebecca.

“Just about. Why don’t you take Greyson and put him in the car. I’ll be just a minute more.” She kissed both of them and then waited until Dale was opening the car door.

“Grant knew I was coming over to see you. I made him no promises, but said I would try. He is a good man, Natalie. Never told a soul where I really went. Even after I hurt him the way I did.”

We hugged as she left to join her family. I waved as they drove away in his cruiser. I looked down at Peyton, who was wrapped around my right leg, her wide eyes looking back at me. She was the most important person in my world and I needed to make her as happy as possible, including giving her the best mother I could be.

“Hey, Peyton, do you think Grant has any ice cream?”

FINAL REMNANTS OF THE SUNLIGHT
glowed dimly behind the tree line. As much as a new day dawning gave me promise of change, I hoped the ending of this day would bring me back to Grant. In hindsight, I never should have left like I did. It was a rash decision full of emotions; tiny invisible flaws which tend to rule us. In the future, I would try to have more concrete evidence before reacting.

My first instinct was to run into his house, wrap my arms around his neck and confess how sorry I was. My father's car parked in the driveway alongside Martin and Carolyn’s, negated that idea. I pulled over to park in front of his house, instead of the driveway, avoiding blocking anyone in if they needed to leave. Peyton finally noticed we had arrived at Grant’s house and immediately began chanting, “Ice cream! Ice cream!”

Just like this morning, I stood on the porch of a Crain home, knocking with the same apprehension. My nerves increased when I heard no movement coming toward the door. Grant’s front entrance, a solid wooden door, gave no avenue to look inside to investigate why no one was coming. I swallowed hard and captured every ounce of bravery I possessed, then I reached for the door handle. I twisted it to the right, with breath held and proverbial fingers crossed, to see if the door was unlocked. I felt as if half this battle was won as the latch released and the handle turned, allowing me to open the door.

Now that I was inside, I could hear faint voices coming from the back of the house. With the room so still, even Peyton had grown quiet. “Let’s go find Grant,” I whispered to Peyton, reassuring myself in the process. It was my father’s voice I heard the loudest, giving me a direction where to find them.

I traveled down the long hallway between the front door and the kitchen. I began to feel the anxiety leaving me. I couldn’t explain what was happening, almost as if the closer I got to Grant, the more my body felt alive.

“Becca left her house nearly twenty minutes ago, should I call her?” Grant’s voice sounded like that of a man broken and bleeding. It made me feel like I wasn’t moving fast enough to get to him, comfort him and tell him everything was okay.

I hated the sadness and worry in Grant’s voice. The prideful nature I possessed, I had to swallow hard, shoving it to the bottom of my gut. This was my doing, and I intended to do everything I could to make it right again.

Everyone was sitting in the lounging area just off the kitchen. My father beside Martin, with Carolyn behind Grant, rubbing his shoulders, trying to ease the tension caused by my actions. Grant’s eyes were focused on the empty pasture where the horses had been the last time I visited. Carolyn’s face hard with worry, while Martin and my father, both with reading glasses on their noses, shared the screen of one of their smart phones.

“Papa!” Peyton called, breaking the silence in the room. All eyes turned in our direction, Grant springing to his feet, his white dress shirt wrinkled and untucked. Grant was a man who prided himself on his appearance. Standing before me was the shell of the man I was falling for.

“We wants ice cream!” Peyton announced from her spot between Martin and her grandfather, nodding her head in affirmation, her hair bouncing with the movement. Carolyn’s face finally returning to the sweet and sassy she normally wore.

“Ice cream?” My father adds. “Don’t you have ice cream at your house?” He finishes as he beings to tickle her. “N-N-no Papa, we wants G-g-grants ice cream.” Martin got a finger into the game as she bent in his direction to get away from Dad’s tickling. Carolyn ran her hand over Grant’s shoulders as she crossed the room to join them.

“Well, I happen to know your Papa ate
all
the ice cream in the house, just before you and your momma got here.” Peyton’s eyes became huge, her bottom lip protruding as she crossed her arms in a huff. “Papa!” She shouted; her tiny hands reached for his shirt. “You is ‘posta share!” Her voice rose three octaves as she climbed farther into his lap.

“You’re correct Peyton, Papa should have waited for you.” Carolyn kneeled beside the chair, plucking Peyton from Papa’s lap. “How about we all go and get more ice cream and let Mr. Grant and Momma stay here and watch for the horses.”

Poor Peyton was torn, as much as she loved ice cream, she adored horses. “Okay,” she finally relented after looking at the three adults before her and then to me. I watched with apprehension as Martin took Peyton from Carolyn, tossing her into the air, inducing another round of giggles.

“Can we gets Savannah?” Peyton questioned as she hugged Martin around his neck. Carolyn placed her hand on her chest as she answered her, “Oh darling, that is a great idea. We’ll go get the other kids and all go to the ice cream shop.”

With the horses forgotten, a new destination in her mind. How I ever thought I would be able to pull away from this family was beyond me.

I kissed Peyton’s cheeks as Martin carried her past me. “Take my car, it has her car seat in there already.”

Carolyn stopped abruptly and turned, glaring at me. She raised her finger in my direction. “Natalie Elizabeth, I’m going to ignore what you just said. Implying I wouldn’t have a car seat in my car for my grandbabies.” She turned back and walked in the direction of the door, pausing only when she was about to leave to look over her shoulder, send me a wink, and mouthed the words “good luck.”

As the sound of the closing door echoed down the long hall, I hesitated, taking in a deep breath. This was the moment, a slice of time, which would define who we were to one another. I could choose to walk out the door, never seeing Grant as anything other than a professional. Or, I could follow my heart and show him exactly how I felt about him.