Cowgirls Don't Cry (12 page)

The uncomfortable trip home couldn’t end fast enough. Cass had the passenger door open before Chance put the truck in Park. She hopped out, slammed the door and trotted toward the barn, hoping he’d get the hint and just leave. She still had evening chores to finish.

Aware that Chance had cut the motor on the pickup and now followed her, she did her best to ignore him. Every time she thought their relationship held some promise, he dashed cold water on the whole idea by his actions. Fine. She could deal with that. By not dealing with him. She wouldn’t think about him, wouldn’t plan on him ever being a part of her future. She could stand on her own two feet, and she would.

Cass climbed up to the loft and dragged a bale of alfalfa hay to the edge. She shoved it over and waited a heartbeat before calling out, “Heads up.” She snickered when Chance stumbled backward out of the way.

Back on the main floor, she snagged a pair of wire cutters and snipped the baling wire. After splitting the bale into blocks, she grabbed an armful and paced the length of the barn, putting hay into the mangers of each stall. When she got to the colt’s stall, she glanced in. He lay on his side and didn’t raise his head as she clucked to him.

“Doc?” He still didn’t respond so she whistled sharply. The horse merely flicked an ear. She fumbled with the latch, frantic to get into the stall to check on him.

“Cass? What’s wrong?” Chance covered her hands with his and stilled them. “Here. I’ll do it.”

A moment later, he had the door open, and she rushed in. Doc’s legs had brushed back and forth so hard, the horse had cleared the straw down to the dirt floor. She dropped to her knees and stroked his neck. Running a hand across his withers and then his belly, she stilled. This was bad. Really bad. His belly felt hard and looked bloated.

“We need to get him up on his feet.” She stood and bent over, tugging on Doc’s halter but nothing happened. “Chance, help me!” Her voice broke, revealing her helplessness.

“Easy, baby. Calm down. Let me get a look.”

She backed away, but hovered close. “What’s wrong with him?” Her stomach tightened and the fried food from dinner was a queasy lump threatening to choke her. She swallowed then shoved her hands in her pockets to keep from wringing them.

“I think it’s colic, Cass, and he doesn’t look good. I’m going to call the vet.”

She shook her head. “Oh damndamndamn. I...I don’t think you can get one to come. I can’t pay.”

“It’s okay, Cass. We’ll figure it out. Stay here with him. I’ll make a couple of calls.”

Chance backed out of the stall as she knelt in the hay, petting the colt and crooning softly. She seemed oblivious to him. Even so, he stepped outside the barn before he dialed the first number. As soon as he had the information he needed from his brother, he ended the call before Cord could launch into all the reasons his presence at the Crazy M was a bad idea.

Besides, he had a good reason—one even his father might applaud, given the old man wanted the colt for his own. If Doc died, no one would profit. He kept telling himself that’s why he was dialing the emergency large animal vet. He gave his full name, directions and a description of the colt’s symptoms. He also guaranteed payment.

He’d just finished the call when Boots arrived. Chance squared his shoulders and prepared to do battle with the other man. He didn’t have to wait long for Boots to fire the first shot.

“What are you doing here?”

“Cass got hurt.” He held up his hand. “It’s not serious. She got caught in some barbed wire and needed a ride so she could get a tetanus shot. But when we got back, she found the colt down in his stall. I’ve called the vet.” Boots glared at him, and Chance worked to remain calm.

“You haven’t answered my question. Why are you here?”

Why
was
he here? Because he couldn’t stay away from her? Because she had rubbed a raw spot right over his heart? He gave the only answer he had. “I don’t know, Boots. There’s something about her. Something special. I just can’t stay away.”

“Your daddy is behind all her troubles, ain’t he.”

As Chance had suspected, Boots knew the truth. Since the man hadn’t asked a question, no answer was required.

“You gonna let him get away with this? With hurtin’ her like he’s doin’?”

Chance glanced over his shoulder and lowered his voice. He wasn’t ready for Cass to discover the truth. Not yet. Not until he had an opportunity to explain things to her. “There’s nothing I can do, Boots. The old man holds all the cards in this game.”

“Game? This is a game to you?”

He shook his head, adamant in his denial. “No. That’s not what I meant. Dammit. Have you ever known Cyrus Barron to lose at anything?” Boots stared at him and, while it took some effort, Chance steadily returned the man’s gaze.

“Yeah. I have. Her name was Colleen. A damn finer man wooed that woman, married her and produced that little girl in there.”

“Uncle Boots!” Cass’s panicked shout cut off any retort Chance might have made. He beat the older man to the stall by a few strides, then waited in the doorway while Boots eased through and knelt beside her.

“It’s gonna be okay, baby girl. Chance called the emergency vet.”

“How can we pay, Uncle Boots? The vet’ll put him down instead of treating him if we can’t pay.”

Her anguish slammed into Chance’s chest. “I’ll take care of it, Cass. Don’t worry.”

“You? How can you afford it? This could cost thousands of dollars.”

He bit back his first answer—that he had a credit card with no limit. Hell, he had a sports car sitting in his garage that cost as much as some people’s houses. He’d always worked, but he’d never had to worry about getting paid, or having to save up money to buy something, or pay a bill.

“I have it covered, Cass. I promise.” He recognized the argument she started to raise by the look on her face. “And we’ll work out a way for you to pay me back. Not charity. A loan. Okay? Right now, let’s just get the little guy fixed.”

* * *

Boots had a stubborn look on his face—one Cass was extremely familiar with—but he didn’t say anything. After a staring match with Chance, Boots turned his gaze to her. “I’m goin’ up to the house to get a few things. I’ll be back before the vet gets here.” The look he leveled at Chance as he backed out of the stall spoke volumes. Problem was, Cass couldn’t translate it.

“Do the right thing, son.”

And what the heck did Boots mean by that parting shot? Wrung out emotionally and on edge already, she waited until she heard the barn door close before she broached the subject. “What’s he talking about, Chance?”

With a weary sigh, he squatted in the straw across from her and took his own sweet time getting settled with his back against the wall. “It’s a long story. And it doesn’t really matter right now anyway.”

She stared at him from under furrowed brows. “I’ve got nothing but time at the moment.”

Buddy lay down beside Chance and rested his chin on the man’s thigh. The dog closed his eyes as Chance ruffled his ears.

“Traitor.” She muttered the word but both dog and man seemed to chuckle at her. “Why did you come back tonight?”

“I didn’t come
back
. I just...I never left, Cass. Not in the sense you mean. I have a job. I have bills to pay, too.”

Heat flushed her face. “I will pay you back.”

Chance shook his head. “That’s not what I meant. I have the vet bill covered.”

She tilted her head. “Why doesn’t Boots trust you?”

He wouldn’t look at her. “He has his reasons.”

“What are they?”

“Look, I don’t really want to get into it right now, okay?”

She blinked, taken aback by the vehemence in his voice. Even Buddy raised his head to stare up at the man. “Well, I do. Maybe I shouldn’t trust you, either.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t.”

His muttered admission shocked her, even as his stony expression revealed nothing and completely shuttered any emotions he might be feeling.

“Fine. Just...fine.”

She continued to stroke the colt’s neck and shoulder. Two could play that game, so she steadfastly ignored Chance. The problem with ignoring him, though, was that it left her mind free to wonder. Boots wasn’t a suspicious man by nature, but he was a smart man and a good judge of both horses and men. He clearly did not like Chance. Hadn’t almost from the first, truth be told. Come to think of it, she’d been leery of him, too, that first time he showed up unannounced and knew all about the colt.

The longer she stewed about the situation, the more suspicious she became. Chance had emerged from the barn when she rode up. How long had he been there? Had he done something to Doc? He’d been pretty dang insistent she go to the ER, which would have taken hours. After she’d insisted on going to the minor care clinic, he’d persisted until she agreed to dinner. Had he done that to stall her? Was he buying time so she’d come home to a dead colt? Had he poisoned Doc? And then called in his own vet? So the vet could finish the job...or fix the colt so Chance didn’t get caught?

She pushed to a sitting position and stared at Chance. He leaned against the wall, his legs sprawled in front of him, eyes closed. But she seriously doubted he was asleep.

“What did you do to him?”

Chance didn’t bother to open his eyes. “I didn’t do a damned thing.”

“You were in the barn, Chance. Alone. And he was fine when I left to mend the fence.” He opened his eyes and leveled a look at her that might have chilled her to the bone if she hadn’t been so full of righteous anger.

She kept pushing. “You show up here all solicitous and kind and wanting to help. Who the hell are you, Chance? Why do you care? You obviously have money. You drive a brand-new truck. You live in that fancy condo down in Bricktown. Hell, I don’t even know what you do for a living. You aren’t a cowboy. As much as you might pretend to be, you aren’t.”

“I’m a lawyer.”

That stopped her cold, her mouth hanging open just as she was about to start a new tirade. She snapped her jaw closed and stared at him in consternation. “A lawyer?”

He shrugged. “I’ve been a cowboy, too. I used to rodeo. A long time ago.”

Something about his expression triggered a memory, but she shoved it aside. “So what? You play at being a cowboy now? And how did you know my dad? Why were you at his funeral?”

“I was there to see you.”

That shocked her silly. “Me?” Her voice squeaked, and she swallowed around the frog in her throat. The colt stirred, as if he sensed her upset, so she roped in her emotions. After several deep breaths, she continued, her voice calm now. “I’d never met you before Chicago. Why were you looking for me?”

“I...just was.”

She grimaced. “That’s certainly cryptic. Can you be a little more specific?”

“No. The reason doesn’t matter. But
this
does. Do you really believe I would hurt the colt? Hurt any animal?” His face remained expressionless but for a narrowing of his eyes and a slight jut of his chin. His voice sounded cold, and she decided right then she never wanted to be on the wrong side of the courtroom from him.

“I don’t get you, Chance. I don’t know why you’re here. I...jeez. We’ve had some good times. Sex. Granted, the sex was fantastic but—”

“But what? We didn’t have sex, Cassie. I made love to you. I...” He choked off whatever he was going to say but stayed on the offensive. “Is that all you can manage? Just sex? What’s your deal? Relationships too sticky for you?”

She rocked back from the anger in his voice. “Whoa, dude. Back right the hell up. You’re the one who didn’t return my calls.”

“I couldn’t.”

“Couldn’t? What? You flushed your phone down the toilet? Your dog ate it? Oh, wait, you don’t have a dog.” She glared at Buddy. “You just steal mine.”

“There are...extenuating circumstances.” He clenched his jaw, and the words gritted out between lips stretched tight across his teeth.

“Extenuating circumstances? What’s that? Legalese for I can’t be bothered?”

Chance rubbed his temple, eyes closed. When he spoke, he seemed to have leashed his temper. “That’s not fair, Cass. You have no idea what’s going on. What’s at stake.”

She wanted to throw her hands up in the air and scream but Doc was restless again. She bridled her emotions though her angry response hissed out. “How the hell am I supposed to know if you don’t tell me!”

He ground his teeth together. “I can’t tell you. Not right now.” He dragged the fingers of one hand through his hair and sighed. His gaze caught and held hers. “Please. Can you just trust me? For a little while longer?”

So many replies popped into her head.
Why should I? How can you ask that? Oh, hell no!
But as she looked at his face, recognized the pleading for understanding in his eyes, the grim set of his mouth, which all showed a crack in the emotions he did his best to stonewall deep inside, none of those admonitions worked. Between one thudding beat of her heart and the next, she knew the answer.

“Yes.”

Twelve

B
y the time the vet left, Cass felt exhausted. Her arm still ached from the booster, and the bandages over the deeper cuts on her arm itched. Chance walked the man out, and only then did she stop to wonder why there’d been no mention of the bill at all. She stroked the colt’s neck, hoping her touch would keep him calm. The vet had done what he could, telling her to watch him for further signs of distress and to call if Doc wasn’t better in a few hours. They’d have to get him on his feet every hour or so and walk him to help ease the blockage in his intestines.

Colic. One of the worst things that could happen to a horse. The little guy snuffled as he labored to breathe, and her eyes prickled with tears as she listened to him wheeze. She’d considered selling him as a way to get money, but she knew she couldn’t, especially not now. Buddy crept into the stall and curled in beside her, his head on her knee. The dog whined softly and stared up at her with big brown eyes as if to say,
I have faith in you. You’re my human. You’ll make it right.
She ruffled his ears.

“I hope so, Buddy. I hope so.”

Chance reappeared moments later, Boots a few steps behind. The older man carried a couple of quilts and a pillow. Chance had mugs of coffee and handed her one. She accepted the cup and stared at its contents. Muddy brown. Just the right color when cream and coffee achieved the perfect blend.

“One sugar, right?”

She nodded dumbly. The man remembered how she drank her coffee?

“Thought you might as well be comfortable, baby girl.” Boots’s voice broke her rumination. He spread out one quilt after shooing Buddy away and left the other folded on top with the pillow. “Gonna be a long night.” He turned toward Chance, and Cass recognized a look of distrust crossing Boots’s face.

“I’ll stay up with Cass, Boots. I’ll call if we need help.”

There was that look again. Cass’s attention ping-ponged between the two men. There was definitely defiance and dismissal in Chance’s voice, along with a hint of challenge, but Boots didn’t rise to the occasion. Instead, he focused on her.

“You need anything at all, baby girl, you just holler. I’ll come running.”

Cass made a show of straightening the quilt and getting settled on it as the older man shuffled out. She stretched out on her side, the pillow bunched under her head, one hand stroking the colt’s neck. An uncomfortable silence descended on the stall, but she wasn’t going to be the one to break it. She fidgeted but couldn’t get comfortable. After thirty minutes, she gave up.

“We should try to get him on his feet and walk him.”

Chance said nothing as he stood and helped her push and pull the colt. Only a yearling, the little guy wasn’t close to being full grown, but he was big enough the two of them had trouble. He wobbled on his legs but managed a few tentative steps as Cass led him from the stall. She walked him up and down the center run of the barn so many times she lost count but by the time her legs started to ache, the colt walked a little easier. Once back in the stall, though, he flopped in the straw with a distressed whinny.

Chance had rearranged the blanket and pillow, and now sank down on the quilt before Cass could say anything. He patted the space next to him. She made a face but joined him, realizing too late that he’d raised his arm, and she was now snuggled up against his side. Her nostrils flared at the scent of his cologne, and her stomach did a darn good impression of a bowl of gelatin.

Why did this man tie her up in knots physically and emotionally? What would be so terrible about just letting go, letting him take some of her troubles? Not forever. No, not that. She could never relinquish control forever, but what was the harm in sharing the burden just for a little while? Just long enough to get back on her feet.

“I don’t think I’m going back to Chicago.” She felt him stiffen.

“Oh?” He said the word carefully.

“I can’t leave here. Not yet anyway. I had my neighbor box up or sell all my stuff. It might not be much, but this is home.” Something shifted in her heart. Home. This had always been home, and she’d been too blind to realize it.

“That’s not true, Cass.” She started to bristle, but his hand squeezed her shoulder and she realized he’d relaxed. “This place is a helluva lot. Your dad worked hard to build the Crazy M and to make a home for you. You might not have wanted to be here, but you knew you could always come back.”

She nodded, her cheek rubbing against the soft material of his shirt. “I tried to run away. Then I tried to stay away. And then I felt guilty because I hated this place. But I really didn’t.” She squiggled her nose to chase away the burn of forming tears. “Do you think Daddy understood? Did he know why I wasn’t here?”

Chance dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “Did you get to say goodbye?”

Cass inhaled and held her breath to ease the pain in her chest. Exhaling slowly, she shook her head. She had to swallow before she could speak. “Sort of. I was on the phone with him when he passed.” She felt Chance wince, and she brushed her palm along his abdomen. “That night at the hotel. In Chicago. I waited too long and got caught by that blizzard. Boots put the phone by Daddy’s ear. He...he told me cowgirls don’t cry. They just get back on and ride. He used to say that when I was little.” She snuggled closer to Chance, seeking his warmth and the gentleness of his embrace. “I guess I’ve been doing that ever since I got here.”

He tilted her head and leaned down to kiss her. His lips, full and firm, danced across her mouth as if seeking permission. She pressed into the kiss, her lips parting in invitation. His hand caressed her side and his fingertips teased the swell of her breast before his palm cupped her fully. Her breath hitched as she sighed.

Cass trailed her hand down those firm, rippled abs of his and found what really interested her. Oh, yeah. He was glad to see her. She stroked him through his jeans and he arched against her hand.

“Damn, girl. I want you.”

Not the most romantic of declarations, yet it went straight to her core. She wanted him with a fierceness she’d never experienced. She freed her other arm and fumbled with his buttons.

“Here, let me.”

While he dealt with his buttons, fly and boots, she did the same. She kicked off her boots, peeled out of her jeans and T-shirt and was down to her bra and panties when he growled, “No. Mine.” She stopped as he took over. He was already naked, but she didn’t have time to admire him. His mouth covered hers as he unhooked her bra and slipped its straps off her shoulders.

“You are so beautiful, Cassidy Morgan.” He whispered it against her skin as his mouth dipped to find a nipple.

She bowed her back and threaded her fingers through his hair. Oh, the things this man could do with his tongue. She squirmed, pressing her thighs together. One of his hands dipped low, and his strong fingers found her wet and ready. He groaned against her breast, and his erection pressed against her thigh.

Cass wrapped her fingers around his shaft and he groaned again, only this time, he tried to say something. He raised his head to gaze at her, his face flushed and his eyes radiating desire and regret.

He inhaled sharply and finally managed a complete sentence. “I want to be inside you, darlin’, but I don’t have a condom.”

She was so with that program because that’s exactly where she wanted him. Until he admitted he wasn’t a Boy Scout. “Oh.” That one syllable was filled with disappointment. But at the same time, she had to respect him. She stroked his erection and offered a little smile. “We go to Plan B?”

He blinked at her, his confusion showing in his expression. She wiggled loose and kissed her way down his chest. The moment he figured out her intentions, all the air whooshed from his lungs. Gripping him in one hand, she held him still as she wet her lips with her tongue, her eyes glued on his face. He gulped and held his breath. She dipped her head, and her lips glided over him. His hands clutched her head, fingers fighting her ponytail until her hair fell around her shoulders. He held her still for a moment as he throbbed against her palm.

“Easy, baby. I’m already primed.”

She raised her head but not before giving him a swirl with her tongue. “I’ll be gentle.” She didn’t hide the smirk on her face, and after a wink and a cheeky grin, she went back to work.

Chance thought he might die before she finished him off. Cassie had tricks he’d never experienced, and he’d experienced a lot. Sated and lazy, he managed to pull her up to lay next to him, her head just below his shoulder. He hugged her loosely with one arm as her hand alternated between playing with the hair on his chest and places lower.

He was not a man who kept a woman in his bed overnight, but he wanted to spend the night with this woman in his arms—wanted to spend every night with her. He hadn’t dated anyone else since he’d first seen her in Chicago; hadn’t even looked at other women. He had feelings for her but couldn’t define them. The Barrons didn’t exactly have a great track record when it came to long-term relationships. Yet this woman touched something deep inside him—a place he wasn’t aware of until she came into his life.

He kissed the top of her head and breathed her in. Her hair smelled faintly of sweat and citrus, and his stomach tightened. She nuzzled his skin in a sleepy kiss, and he settled in just to hold her. He’d make sure she was as satisfied as she’d made him when she woke up. For now, she seemed as content as he was.

A few minutes later, the colt stirred but didn’t try to get up. Cass awoke instantly but Chance tightened his arms around her. “He’s just moving around, darlin’. It’s okay. We’ll walk him here in a few minutes. First, though, I have my own Plan B to implement.”

Her lips curled in a cat-and-cream smile, and her eyes twinkled. He slid down her body until he found a breast. With lips and tongue, he started a slow, sweet assault, gratified when her breath hitched and her legs twitched. He smoothed a hand down her side and cupped the curve of her ass for a gentle squeeze before he pulled her knee over his hip. His fingers dipped lower, finding her sweet spot. Her sharp exhalation ruffled his hair and he smiled, his tongue still flicking over her pebbled nipple. He pushed one finger inside her, and her inner muscles gripped him with wet ferocity. He added a second and she rocked against his hand. He let her set the pace. This time was for her. All her. He wanted her to come saying his name.

Cass panted, and each breath pushed her breast against his tongue. He discovered that his own breathing matched hers, and even as her heart thundered beneath his ear, his heart galloped along. He hardened to the point of pain but didn’t care. His fingers caressed and teased, driving her hips to thrust harder and faster. He found her magic button with his thumb and savored her gasp.

“Yes. Yes...oh, yes.” She didn’t shout it, she whimpered. And that was even sweeter to his ears.

His erection throbbed in time to the clenches her muscles made around his fingers. He rubbed against her firm thigh, the friction making him even harder.

“C’mon, baby. That’s my girl. Come for me. Show me how beautiful you are.”

“Oh, Chance.” His name sighed across her lips and he felt himself tighten. Damned if he wasn’t going to come again, with her this time.

“That’s it, honey. Yes. C’mon.” His hips surged against her, rocking with the same rhythm as hers.

She whimpered, and a soft cry escaped right before she inhaled. A shudder rocked her body, and he exploded as she called his name. “Chance!”

Her fingers dug into his shoulders, and he lifted his head, seeking her lips. He kissed her. Long and hard and deep, his tongue sweeping across hers, his lips branding hers.

“I love you.”

The words hung in the dusty air between them. Had he said them out loud? Her body quivered with little aftershocks, and she sighed, her warm breath both tickling and cooling his heated skin. His heart seemed to hesitate between beats as he waited for her reaction.

“Me, too, you.”

His heart started again, steady this time, and he breathed. Those three words were enough for now. He cradled her against his side and let her doze. He’d get up and dressed in a few minutes and walk the colt. Until then, he wanted nothing more from life than this woman in his arms.

Now that he’d admitted his feelings aloud, Chance needed this respite from his guilt—and his indecision. He could follow his heart, betray his family and love the woman in his arms. Or he could betray her. The choices sucked, and the devil sitting on his shoulder whispered that he’d resent Cassie for driving a wedge between him and his brothers. He cursed softly even as he tightened his arms around the woman who was becoming his everything.

An hour later, he had the colt up and moving. Cassie watched him, her face pale, and the corners of her mouth drawn down.

“This is all my fault.”

Chance continued walking the colt, but he glanced over his shoulder to study her. Her jeans hung low on her hips because she hadn’t fastened the top button. The T-shirt she’d pulled on sans bra showed every curve, and he was glad he hadn’t fastened his own fly.

“No, it’s not. Horses colic, Cassie. I checked the grain bin and the hay. It’s all good. No mold. He didn’t get sick from eating it. Besides, he’s been grazing on grass in the pasture and probably not drinking enough water. You did not do this to him.”

She looked so miserable he felt compelled to do something—anything to make her feel better. He’d made love to this woman—
his
woman. And wasn’t that a kick in the pants. He hated seeing her so emotionally beaten. As he returned, he paused long enough to gather her into his arms. He kissed her forehead and laid his cheek on the top of her head for a moment. A feeling of rightness settled somewhere in his chest. Despite all the roadblocks, he wanted her—in his bed and in his life.

“I repeat, Cass. This is not your fault. And we’ll get him through it. I promise.” He planned to promise her so much more, too.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Chance.”