Cowgirl Up (5 page)

Too bad
he couldn’t just drop by for a visit, be part of their tight-knit group once
more. To know each one would give anything for the other. That’s what he missed
most. Absolute companionship and brotherly love.

Now, he
went through the motions, still discontent with his lot in life and not knowing
which direction to turn next in order to settle the restlessness eating inside
his gut once and for all. He didn’t fear his future. He just didn’t know which
road to follow.

A
couple months ago, bored with caring for his father’s immense herd of cattle
and horses, he leaped at the chance to hit the rodeo circuit once more,
although in a different capacity. Wanderlust proved a partial answer to his
dilemma, yet a large hole remained unfulfilled.

Then he
spied Trinity.

She
reminded him of happier times when they enjoyed their sport and didn’t carry
the worries of the world on their shoulders. When kids had a great life and
didn’t know it at the time. When his biggest concern was winning his round and
finding a cute lady to celebrate with afterward.

Was I ever that young and
shallow? Well, yeah. Talk about a no brainer.

He
shook his head at such silliness, his attention once more returning to Trinity.
An aura of sadness followed her. According to his uncle, her mother passed a
few months ago, way too young. Unfortunately, cancer didn’t care about anyone’s
age when it struck. She continued to mourn, even as she showed up to compete.
Alone when she should have had another parent there for her.

If
gossip hit the nail on the head and Buck Troutman was her father, where had he
been all along? Or right now, for that matter. The man had first been a bull
rider, then turned judge when his performance began to slack off. As far as
Cody knew, never once did Buck approach either Trinity or her mother at any of
the events to even wish them a good day.

Useless
and a shitty way to treat an innocent girl.

Which
led to the question what brought her back after such a long absence? Now he
knew. At least partially. She had a horse to carry her to the finals. Her
words. And she wasn’t boasting out of hand. No. Last night he stood at the gate
and watched Trinity and Legacy’s first run. Damn good. Fast. Steady. And
surefooted. It’s a wonder she kept him under wraps for all these years. Most
likely her mother’s illness gave her little opportunity to trailer him all over
the country.

Now she
could.

Determination
sparked in her eyes. He recognized the look, applauded her, and wished her
luck. The road to the finals proved rough and filled with pitfalls. Hopefully,
she could avoid them all. She deserved to win as much as anyone. Maybe more.

Yanking
the office door open, he stepped in, walked to his chair, plopped down, and
rested his feet on the desk. Since no one presently occupied the small room, he
didn’t bother with proper manners. Besides, he thought better with his cowboy
boots higher than his butt.

Trinity’s
questions rattled him, slicing through the steel shield that caged his past.
Why he even bothered to answer still perplexed him. Others had asked and he had
no problem shutting them down. Something about Trinity’s delivery, her quiet
nature, her genuine sincerity knocked him off balance and encouraged him to
open up.

Damn
scary except for the fact he knew she rebutted gossip, minded her own business,
and had a good heart. Her gentle nature broadcast loudly in the way she spoiled
the temperamental stallion. He’d watched her from afar when he could and had to
grin as she worked with the huge horse. Others would have met his crankiness
head on with punishment in a struggle for dominance. Trinity gave him free rein
and cajoled him into doing her bidding. The action spoke for itself.

For
those reasons, combined with a figure that wouldn’t quit, he found himself
looking forward to the next rodeo. A whole season filled with them. Nearly
every weekend a different location, across nine states and hundreds of miles in
between. The drive could be a pain in the ass, the constant moving less than
thrilling, the work hot and constant, but now a flicker of excitement lit his
insides.

He
wasn’t about to throw his hat in the ring or set his sights on another woman.
Not just yet.

Hope
flared when he considered a pretty little filly named Trinity.

I’m such a fucking marshmallow.

Blowing
out a breath, he solidified his resolve and reminded himself of what happened
the last time he let his dick rule his head. Better to just go about his
business and forget about anything else.

Even a
girl like Trinity.

“Look
what the cat dragged in.”

Trinity
glanced up to find the farm manager grinning at her, appearing fresh this
morning in clean jeans, boots, and a short-sleeved T-shirt. “Hey, Carmen.”

“How
did the race go?”

“Won.”
Unable to suppress a small smile of satisfaction, Trinity stepped up to her
boss.

“That’s
our Trin.”

After
her mother passed, Trinity had been left with some major life decisions. Above
all, she needed to pursue her dream to fulfill her promise to her mother, but
Kentucky was hardly the hotbed of barrel racing. Sure, they had horses a
plenty, but sadly not nearly as many rodeos as she needed to qualify for the
finals, even if she placed first in every one, which left her with a huge
dilemma. Either take to the road and return home after every event, move
entirely, or pick an option in between. The prize winnings would pay for her
gas and upkeep, but wouldn’t stretch much further while home ownership came
with monthly bills that couldn’t be denied. Not to mention, Legacy needed a
pasture, room to run, a paddock to laze away the days when not on the road. She
refused to board him and he couldn’t live in a stall with no exercise except to
run barrels. No, he needed to stretch his legs often. That left her with tough
choices and limited opportunities.

She
deliberated for a couple of days, scrambled, and finally pulled on the sole
string left for advice and assistance—Madeleine Hunter.

In a
quirk of fate, Madeleine had decided to keep in touch with Trinity after Star
returned home. While she rarely dropped by, she kept in contact with emails and
an occasional phone call now and again. Lora bonded with the older woman and
they shared a close friendship until her death. At that time, Madeleine invited
Trinity to move in with her since her husband passed years ago, pointing out
she lived in an overly large mansion with too many rooms and too few
inhabitants. Trinity declined, citing the need to figure out her life first.
Madeleine seemed to take the news in stride, as if she knew the answer before
she asked. However, she did insist that Trinity call her if she needed anything
at all, financial or otherwise.

Gladly,
Trinity accepted, thrilled to have one stability in her life while she reeled
from all the sudden changes.

In the
end, she kept up the friendship, but never asked for anything, too proud and
determined to make it on her own. The one exception was a reference on an
application to the same stud farm who housed Victory. In order to keep her
promise, she needed a place to stay, freedom from a house’s monthly bills, and
the ability to bring in sufficient income in order to travel each weekend in
order to pursue her dream. Benefits were a huge plus.

Thankfully,
a resounding recommendation from Madeleine tipped the scales in her favor. She
interviewed and had been hired on the spot.

That
netted her a room in one of the barns, a job at a horse farm, some new friends,
and Legacy a stall and his own paddock where he could be do whatever he liked
all in the pretty state of Kentucky. Barring playing with the mares, Legacy
lacked for nothing he desired. Maybe down the road. Right now, she needed his
mind on racing, not on which pretty filly to pursue next. Since the area of the
farm where she worked specialized in stallions, Legacy fit right in. The
manager, Carmen, tossed in room and board for free as part of the deal.

Thank goodness.

For
that favor, she’d worked her ass off, sun up to sun down, in order to prove she
was worth such an effort.

“Knew
you could do it.” Carmen smiled proudly down at her.

“Thanks.
Dodge City next weekend.” Trinity grimaced at the thought of driving that far.
Better than making the trip to Calgary, Canada, but still many hours behind the
wheel of the truck, traveling along endless highways and interstates. Alone.

Thankfully
the professional organization developed circuits so competitors wouldn’t have
to drive from sea to shining sea and back again. While some were relegated to
one state, her area counted nine states which meant her truck showed tons of
miles on the odometer and nearly as many to go before she could call it a
season. The drawback of living in the Midwest division with big cities and rodeos
scattered all over the place.

“But
Lexington’s Stock Show will be soon. That’s a hop, skip, and a jump for you.”

“True.”

Trinity
peered up at the climbing sun. “I better get a move on. Chores won’t wait on
anyone.”

“Ain’t
that the truth?” Carmen patted her on the back. “You’re a hard worker, Trin. I
know you won’t hang around here forever, but you’ll always have a job here if
you need it.”

“Thanks.”
Waving, Trinity strode toward the barn where a pitchfork and wheelbarrow waited
for her.

Her
boss’ words stuck with her, though.

While
she could barely see past one day to the next, she knew Carmen spoke with
foresight. Trinity realized she wouldn’t stay at Green Meadow Farms forever,
but, for the life of her, she had no clue where else to go.

An hour
later, she battled fatigue and paused for a long drink of soda, hoping the
caffeine would jolt her awake. More than tired, she forced her body to continue
on.

After
driving home the night before, unloading and caring for Legacy, she finally
climbed into bed in the wee hours of the morning. Her alarm rang a couple of
hours later, announcing dawn had come, along with another day filled with
chores. Sure, Carmen would have given her the morning off to sleep in, but
Trinity refused to ask. She loved her job, valued the opportunity, and clearly
understood she had to balance her two jobs evenly. As it was, Carmen gave her a
generous break by working with her competition schedule in a flexible manner.
Not to mention, she provided free room and board to Legacy. That included
farrier, vet, feed, and his own paddock to race alongside his sire when the
mood hit them both. For that luxury, she’d gladly work her ass off without a
single complaint.

She
finished the morning feeding, then started back with pitchfork and wheelbarrow.
Seemingly, when you fed a horse at one end, the other decided to go to work. No
matter. Job security and all that. Besides, the repetition of cleaning stalls
allowed her plenty of time to ponder the ways of the universe.

Her
thoughts turned once more to Cody and the revelation he dropped in her lap
yesterday morning. A SEAL. The idea still dumbfounded her. Yeah, she could see
the ranking in his build, his gliding movements, the supreme confidence he
exuded with just a hint of a cocky air. Underneath those clothes, she knew he’d
be ripped, muscular, and drool worthy. Not entirely unheard of at the rodeo
with high-end athletes all around, but Cody possessed something more. Something
she couldn’t put her thumb on.

And
that bugged the heck out of her.

His
temperament flipped in a heartbeat at the mention of his service, reminding her
of Legacy on one of his fussy days. The stallion blew both hot and cold and
switched without notice. So had Cody.

Shame
and regret had no part in the perplexing picture. Cody held his head up and
didn’t slouch. Nothing about his body language pointed that out to her. Yet,
he’d clammed up and lost all sense of humor in the length of time for her to
utter the personal inquiry.

Enough
time for flashbacks or memories to zing through his mind.

She
considered the idea and declared it sound. After all, didn’t she do the same? A
smell, a song, even something as simple as a glimpse of a color reminded her of
her loss. Certainly, Cody could struggle with the same dilemma, although in a
very different manner. He’d been to war. That had to change a man. Leave him
with scars that might never heal.

No
telling what he’d seen, experienced, or suffered. He was the only one who would
know and most likely wasn’t about to open up that particular can of worms.

They
might be worlds apart in most ways, but she knew a tiny bit of what he probably
grappled with each day. Grief. Loneliness. Memories which refused to pack up
and leave.

Her
heart went out to him especially since she couldn’t imagine Cody admitting his
background to just anyone. For some reason, he chose to answer and share his
burden, however slight, with a girl he hadn’t seen in over a decade.

The
reasoning remained elusive, but Trinity did know this—next time she saw him,
she’d endeavor to put a grin on his face and keep it there.

It was
the least she could do in honor of his sacrifice.

Besides,
she honestly enjoyed his company. That said a lot.

The
sharp nudge from a horse’s nose jostled her before she caught her balance with
the aid of the pitchfork. Glancing up, she found a tall, gray horse staring her
in the face. “Hey, Victory. Feeling playful this morning?”

He
snorted and shook his mane, sending the long locks flying this way and that,
and leaving him with a rakish hairstyle afterward.

She
laughed and stroked his nose. “You’re such a mess.”

Other
farm workers avoided Victory like skunk road kill due to his wishy-washy
attitude. More than once he chased someone from his stall after doing his best
impression of a mellow pony all during grooming. Trinity didn’t let his bluff
fool her. He simply had a mind of his own, ran the show, and knew he ruled the
roost. To get along with the big guy, you simply had to play by his rules. She
let him call the shots and never once had an issue.

Of
course, she’d had years of practice with Legacy, who took after his sire in so
many ways.

“Enjoying
your day off?” The breeding season had pretty much ended, leaving the stallions
to simply hang out in their stalls and paddocks at their leisure. While the
farm she worked at still made a habit of riding them, they didn’t press the
issue if the stud had other ideas.

Victory
typically fell into the ‘forget it’ category.

He
lipped at her billowing T-shirt.

“That
wouldn’t taste too good, buddy.” Reaching into her pocket, she dug out a
peppermint, unwrapped it, and let Victory pick it off her palm. He crunched a
few times, then pointedly nudged her for more.

“Greedy
boy.” She fed him three more before holding up her hands, smiling the whole
time. “All gone.”

With
one more snuffle at her pocket, he seemed to take her word, spun on his heel,
and galloped outside and down the fence line, in reminiscence of his days on
the track.

Trinity
enjoyed the show for several second before releasing a tired sigh.

If only the stalls could clean
themselves.

Since
that particular wish wasn’t about to come true, like so many others, she lifted
the tool and continued with her task.

“Victory
missed you.”

Glancing
up, Trinity found Marie, another stable attendant, standing in the aisle with a
lead rope in hand. “Why do you say that?”

Marie
grinned. “Because he wouldn’t take a peppermint from anyone else, not even
Carmen.”

The
offhanded compliment filled Trinity’s heart and lifted her spirits. The longer
she stayed, the more she felt at home, which both delighted and frankly
concerned her. This was supposed to be a temporary stop in the game of life.

After
dedicating this year in the pursuit of her solitary goal, she would be free.
Then, and only then, could she leave and start all over again. Like a snake
shedding its skin, she could wave goodbye to everything and reinvent herself.
Without the constant reminder of her loss surrounding her. She thought selling
the house would help ease the heartache. Wrong. While the luxury of not coming
home to emptiness helped, she discovered just as many triggers for her grief
elsewhere. The only escape resided in a totally new environment. Something
completely different.

Where
and what that might be posed as the million dollar question.