Cowboys Down (38 page)

Jasper stood at passport control with his arms wrapped around Calum and bit the inside of his lip to stop himself crying. Didn’t work. His tears fell into Calum’s tousled blond hair.

“Shit, don’t cry or I’ll start,” Calum muttered.

Jasper pulled himself together, straightened and tried to put a smile on his face. He’d see Calum again when he went back to Wyoming for the trial, and for the time being they could email and talk on the phone, but in the grand scheme of things, Jasper suspected that would just make everything more painful. His stomach twisted into a tight ball.

“Oh God, look at you in your suit,” Calum said with a groan. “My poor cock. This is not the time and place for a hard-on.”

Jasper snorted. Calum flipped his tie and then slid his fingers to the back of Jasper’s neck. “Thank you,” he whispered. “But I feel like the luckiest and unluckiest guy in the world.”

Jasper couldn’t speak. His throat was clogged.

“I left you a gift. Not sure you’ll want it cast. Maybe you’ll think of me when you look at it.”

“A well-hung stallion?” Jasper blurted.

Calum laughed and glanced toward the doors. “I have to go through.”

Jasper nodded and Calum’s hand fell away. He stared at Jasper, gave him one last brilliant smile and walked away.

“Wait for me.” Jasper whispered the words too faint for Calum to hear, but the cowboy hesitated for a moment before he continued on his path. Jasper stood watching until Calum moved out of sight. He couldn’t move. It seemed impossible that he was still breathing, that his heart kept beating. His love for Calum couldn’t be turned off. It ran through Jasper like a tumbling mountain stream.

He made his way back to the train with heavy steps, fingers fumbling with the bracelet around his wrist. Neither he nor Calum had slept last night. They’d talked and made love and held each other until it was time to go to the airport. Now Jasper had a boss to placate. He might have been due the days of leave he’d taken, but to go in for a couple of hours and then give so little notice of taking the week off was hardly professional. Jasper didn’t care. He was a different person now. A better person, but a sadder one.

At the end of a hectic morning, after a lecture from his boss about reliability and responsibility, Jasper left the office to get some air. When he found himself outside Fintan’s Gallery, he stopped and stared at the bronze in the window.
Cowboys Down.
He remembered lying in the aspen grove with Calum and gulped at the sharp pain in his chest. A tap on the other side of the glass and Jasper looked up. Fintan beckoned.

Jasper pushed open the door. At least the guy would be a distraction.

“Where’s your lovely cowboy?” Fintan asked.

Oh fuck.
“Gone home.”

The gallery owner clapped a hand over his heart. “You let him go?”

“He has a ranch to run, family to look after.”

“You let him go?” Fintan repeated.

“He has responsibilities, he—”

“You let him go?”

“Fuck it, I had no choice,” Jasper snapped. “I can’t live over there. He can’t live over here.”

“You—”

“If you say that one more time, I’ll—” He glared at Fintan and then his shoulders dropped and he stared at his shoes. They could do with a polish, but Jasper didn’t care.

“You don’t like your job,” Fintan said and Jasper glanced up. “I’ve seen you walking around with a face like a wet lettuce. I also know that you trained as a vet.”

Jasper gaped.

Fintan reached out with one finger and lifted Jasper’s jaw. His teeth clacked together.

“How the hell did you know that?”

“When I have a little…crush, I like to learn everything I can about the object of my desire. It wasn’t hard to find out your academic details. And about your family. I’m sorry. Life has been difficult for you.”

Jasper swallowed hard.

“I know I’m not your type.” Fintan puffed out a breath and fluttered his hand over his face. “Doesn’t stop me wanting though.” He gave a sad smile. “Follow your dreams. That was what my mother said to me. So I set up in the art business and I looked for love. At least I’m successful in one of those. Why don’t you finish your studies, qualify as a vet and go rope your cowboy?”

Jasper gave a short laugh. “I’d probably have to start studying from the beginning all over again. Five years? Then the chances of getting a job in the States would be remote.”

“Mr. Negative.” Fintan glared. “Why do you have to study here? Why not in America? You can afford it, can’t you?”

“My mother—”

“For Christ’s sakes, Jasper. Find a way.”

“She’s got senile dementia.”

“Then she won’t even know if you’ve gone. You can come back and see her. You’re not planning a trip to Mars.
I’ll
go and check on her.”

Jasper felt as though a bee had flown into his ear and was buzzing around in his head. He’d given up on the dream of being a vet, but now black-and-white images turned to color. Ideas flashed one after the other—plans, thoughts, dreams coalescing, converging to become a future reality. Maybe his former university tutor would write him a reference. He’d kept up-to-date with a lot of the advances in veterinary science. He could afford to study in the States if he liquidated everything here. His mother—well, what would change?

Oh Christ, can I do this?
He’d need a visa, acceptance on a US study course, to sell his home, to—
I
can
do this if I want it enough.

He smiled and Fintan let a long sigh.

“Thank you,” Jasper said.

“Want to thank me by coming to my party?” Fintan fluttered his eyelashes. “I promise not to misbehave.”

“All right. When is it?”

Fintan flung his hands in the air. “Now I’ll have to plan one. Oh God, what theme? Go away, I need to think. I’ll call you.”

Jasper’s smile widened. He headed for the door and turned. “Don’t say anything if Calum should contact you, just in case it doesn’t work out.”

“Lips sealed.” Fintan pulled an imaginary zipper across his mouth.

When Jasper returned home from work to be greeted by an empty house, he wanted to weep. He hadn’t realized how lonely he’d been, how he’d done little more than exist for the last few years, how much time he’d wasted. But then, if he hadn’t, maybe he’d never have met Calum. That afternoon, Jasper had made some calls, expecting to hear the word no and instead heard maybe. Now he had to turn maybe into yes.

Calum’s gift sat on the coffee table in the lounge. A clay model of the two of them making love. Jasper on top.
Oh fuck.
Where had Calum found time to do that? A piece of paper had been pushed under one corner and Jasper pulled it out.

Hey Dude, don’t be sad. It’s your smile that lights my world even if I can’t see it.

I love you.

Calum.

It was some time before Jasper could smile again.

By the time Calum got back to the ranch, he was exhausted. Gunner picked him up at the airport and filled him in on what had been happening. Nothing much by the sound of it. As Calum stepped into the family living room, Angie turned, yelled and flew at him. His mom came up to give him a hug and his father nodded from his chair.
Nope, nothing much has changed.

“Did you meet the Queen?” Angie asked.

Calum smiled. “No, but I saw where she lived. Big house.”

“Did Jasper like my present?”

“Yep he did, but he gave it me so I wouldn’t get lost coming back. He sent something for you. I brought you something too.”

Angie’s gaze switched to his bag.

“How was Jasper?” his mom asked.

“He’s fine. He took the week off to show me round London.”

Angie tugged his sleeve. “Do you need help unpacking?”

Calum bit back his smile. “Nope, I’m good.” He turned to his father. “Gunner said things have been quiet.”

“Had a damn fool guest who got too close to an elk but luckily the elk took one look at him and fled.”

“Calum,” Angie whined.

“Horses okay?” Calum asked.

“Calum.” Angie’s voice had grown louder.

“Stop teasing your sister,” his father snapped but he had a smile on his face.

Calum opened his bag. “I bought you this.” He handed his mom a book called
British Baking
.

“Oh that’s lovely, thank you.” She turned the pages and oohed at the pictures.

Calum took out another gift and gave it to his father. It was a book about British horses from Shetland ponies to carthorses. His father looked stunned to be given anything.

“Thank you. I’m going to have to learn how to read now.”

Fuck it. A joke?
“Don’t worry, I picked one with lots of pictures,” Calum said.

His father grinned and Calum’s spirits lifted.

“A book.” Angie sounded so miserable Calum had to withhold his snigger.

“This is from me. This is from Jasper.” Calum put two wrapped gifts on the coffee table.

She opened Calum’s first. He’d bought her a necklace, a silver star on a chain.

Angie sucked in a breath and then exhaled. “That’s so pretty. Thank you.” She kissed him quickly on the cheek and then bent to Jasper’s gift and ripped off the paper. “Wow. It’s a dress.” She held it up in front of her. It was pretty blue dress with wide shoulder straps and a crossover front. Calum hadn’t been sure it was the right thing to buy, but looking at Angie’s face, he saw he’d been wrong.

She rushed off to try it on and Calum caught his father’s glare. The welcome home hadn’t lasted long.

“A dress?” his father barked.

“Erik,” his mother snapped. “It was kind of Jasper to send it to her. This recipe book is lovely, Calum. I shall have to try out some of these cakes.”

Calum knew she was trying to deflect his father and was grateful. “Jasper said you might have to look up something to convert the measurements from grams to cups.”

“I can do that. My mouth’s watering already. Scones with cream and jam. They sound delicious.”

“Ta-da,” Angie shouted and posed in the doorway.

Oh God.
What had Jasper done? The dress fitted her perfectly, clinging to her curves, showing the swell of her breasts. She looked…
Oh God
…she looked like a normal young woman dressed up to go out.

“You look lovely,” he told her.

Angie turned to her mom.

“Stunning, sweetheart. That color really suits you.” Vera swallowed hard.

“Who are you?” asked his father.

Angie stomped over to him. “Me, silly.”

“So it is. You look gorgeous, sweetheart.” His father smiled at her but Calum noticed it didn’t reach his eyes.

Vera put her hand on Angie’s shoulder. “Go and take it off so you don’t get it dirty.”

Angie’s shoulders slumped. “I’m never going to get a chance to wear it anyway.” She looked at her father. “I could if you’d let me go to Casper.”

His father bristled. “Now we discussed this.”

“No we didn’t,” Angie said. “You just said stuff and told me to listen.” She turned to Calum. “There’s a vacancy that has come up in a special house in Casper. I could live there Monday to Friday and come back at the weekend. There’s people who can help me find a job.”

“I don’t think you’re ready,” his father said.

“Yes I am,” Angie said. She went to sit on her father’s knee and wrapped her arm round his neck. “I know you don’t think I can cope, but how do you know until you’ve let me try? You have to let people be who they are. Everyone deserves a chance.”

Calum felt as though she’d reached into his chest and stroked his heart.

“Not sure your mom can cope without you,” his father muttered.

Angie glanced at her mother. “I’d have to cope without her, so she could try.”

“Not sure I could cope without you,” said her dad.

“But Mom said you’d have to cope if Calum didn’t come back and he does a lot more around here than me.”

Calum’s heart skipped. They’d talked about him not coming back?

“You think I should go?” Angie asked Calum.

He stared straight at his father. “I think you’re right, Angie. Everyone deserves a chance.”

It had been three long months since Calum had kissed Jasper goodbye. Thank fuck Ring and Pete’s trial started in two weeks. Calum hoped to pick Jasper up at the airport and stand by his side through the entire ordeal. He shook the snow off his duster and kicked the powder from his boots before he opened the door of the ranch. Calum shut it quickly behind him, took off his Stetson and slapped it against his legs, letting the snow fall on the mat.

He sighed at the warmth that hit his face and bent to stroke Bessie who’d come up, wagging her tail. Felt strange not to have Angie around, but she was spending a couple of days a week in the house in Casper with others of her age who had learning difficulties. She had a job working in a craft store part time and if she got on okay, that might turn out to be full time.