Cowboys 08 - Luke (44 page)

"I didn't have any other job at the time."

"Don't lie, Luke. You've never done that before." "Okay, dammit, I won't lie. I love you so much it hurts. Do you think I want to walk out of here knowing I'm leaving my only chance for happiness?"

"Then why are you doing it?"

"Because I love you too much to hurt you."

"You can't hurt me. You're much better than I am. I really ought to be ashamed of asking you to marry me. I come from a long line of murderers, pillagers, generals who sacked towns and encouraged their men to rape women. I couldn't possibly count the number of men they've hanged or beheaded. Then there's robbery."

"Valeria, be serious."

"I am. Do you know my great-grandfather had his own son killed? It's true. Hans told me. My heritage is far worse than yours. If our children are vicious killers, white slavers, or cattle rustlers, it'll be my fault."

"So we should probably strangle them at birth to spare society the trouble."

She saw a twinkle in Luke's eyes, and her heart leapt with hope. "Couldn't we first give them a chance to prove they can become worthwhile citizens?"

"Be serious, Valeria. You can't really think your parentage is worse than mine."

"I know it is. And I can document it for five hundred years."

"And you'll follow me?"

"Zeke promised to tell me every place you go. He said he and Hawk would make certain you couldn't hide." Luke didn't know whether he wanted to find his broth ers and knock them down or thank them for making it easier to do what he had wanted to do almost from the moment he first saw Valeria.

"You're sure you love me enough to follow me no matter where I go?"

"Don't ask stupid questions. I followed you all over that desert. You can't go anyplace worse than that." "And you won't stop thinking I'm wonderful?"

"How could I? Nobody is more wonderful than you are, not even Marcus, and Lillie thinks he's perfect." "I'm not rich compared to you."

"I don't care."

"I have a terrible temper."

"So do I."

"I don't like New York."

She practically laughed. "Neither do I. I haven't stopped coughing since I got here."

"Do you truly want to marry me?"

"How many times do I have to tell you?"

"Millions. Maybe then I'll believe it."

She jumped up and threw herself into his arms. "I love you, Luke. I never thought it was possible to love anybody as much as I love you. I'll never stop. And now that you've lost the shield of honor you hid behind for so long, maybe you can see yourself for the man you are, for the man I've seen all along, the man so many people love."

Could what she said be true, that he'd been hiding behind his reputation so long, using it to judge himself, that he couldn't see himself anymore? Could Isabelle have been right when she said he'd avenged Chet because he couldn't turn his back on people who loved him even though he didn't love himself and didn't want others love him? Did his hiring Zeke and Hawk have more to do with the need for family than the need for dependable men?

He was shocked to realize Valeria had done for him exactly what he'd done for her. She'd seen behind the protective barriers, the image, the fear he was as bad as his parents believed. And she'd liked what she saw enough to want to marry him.

A hard, tight knot in Luke's chest started to unravel. He felt some of the tension, some of the self-loathing,

some of the feeling of hopelessness begin to fade. Not much. Just a little bit. But if Valeria could keep loving him, maybe it would keep fading away until one day he could actually believe he was as wonderful as she thought.

He wasn't, but he would bust his butt to be the man she saw when she looked at him. He didn't know how, but he would learn. This was one lesson, by God, he meant to learn good and proper.

He knelt at Valeria's feet.

"I make this solemn promise-"

She put her fingers over his lips. "Sit on the sofa with me. We're going to start on the same level. No special favors for me or for you. I want only one promise, that you'll love me as long as you're able."

"Is forever long enough?"

"No, but it's a good place to start."

Epilogue

"I'm not going back to Arizona without you," Valeria said.

"But I may be gone for months at a time," Luke argued.

He'd decided to spend a year working for the Texas Rangers. It was his way of paying back a debt no one but he understood. Isabelle called it his attempt at atonement. Maybe she was right.

"You can't stay on our ranch," Luke said. "We haven't even started on the house."

"She can stay with us," Isabelle said.

"She could get to know your nephews," Melody said. "Being with Anne and me when we have our babies will help her learn what to do when she has her own."

Luke had been stunned upon returning to Jake's ranch to discover that everybody but Hawk and Zeke had bought ranches and settled within riding distance of each other. As far as he could tell, they'd spent all their time having babies. The valley and the surrounding hills resounded with the cries, yelps, and shouts of more than twenty boys and girls, all delighted to welcome home their famous uncle.

He found it hard to imagine Pete was about to become a father, that Drew had three girls. Most moving was seeing his brother Chet and his two young sons, perfect images of what their father must have looked like at that age.

His reunion with Chet had been the most difficult. Too many angry words had passed between them during the years they had both hired out their guns. Nearly everything that was really important had been left unsaid. Seeing Chet again was like finding the other half of himself, the part of him he'd struggled so hard to deny, the part without which he could only exist.

Luke felt like he'd missed half his life.

"I talked to Zeke and Hawk," Valeria said. "They agreed to take the horses to the ranch and run it until we decide what we're going to do."

"I'll see about making sure your new ranch gets started right," Jake volunteered.

"I don't want you to have that extra work shoved on you," Luke said.

"It won't be extra," Isabelle said. "He's bored with a ranch that doesn't need him to fight off rustlers or mountain lions."

"Chet has made everything too scientific," Jake complained. "It's not half as much fun anymore."

"Then you can help Zeke and Hawk run my ranch," Valeria volunteered. "You'll find more than enough fun in Arizona."

Everyone had enjoyed Valeria's description of her trip with Luke. He thought a few of his brothers actually felt nostalgic for some of the adventure of the old days.

"If you're not going to Arizona and you won't stay here," Isabelle said to Valeria, "what are you going to do?"

"Go with Luke."

"No, you're not," Luke said.

"I hope they give him interesting jobs, something like chasing bank robbers or going into Mexico after rustlers."

"You're definitely not going into Mexico after rustlers," Luke said.

"You told me I had to buy some good stock to cross with my thoroughbreds. Jake says South Texas is the best place to look."

Isabelle started shooing people out of the room. "I suggest we leave them to fight this one on their own."

"I won't let you go looking for breeding stock all over South Texas," Luke said.

"And I won't stay cooped up here waiting until you're done playing cops and robbers."

"You could get hurt."

"You
could get killed."

"You forget my fearsome reputation. Once the rustlers hear my name, they'll get religion and vow never to steal again."

A spurt of laughter escaped Valeria. "It didn't work on Soderman."

"I was so worried about you, I forgot to tell him who I was."

Her smile vanished. "I'm not leaving you. I couldn't forgive myself if anything happened to you and I wasn't there. Besides, I'm determined to have two little boys just like Melody."

"I was thinking about a couple of girls, dusky-haired gypsies like their mother."

"Maybe we can have one of each."

Luke put his arms around Valeria. "You'll have to promise to come back here the minute you're pregnant."

She made a face. Then unexpectedly she pulled away, gave him an arch look, and laughed. "I know. We can have separate beds."

"The hell we will," Luke said, grabbing her and pulling her close. "I plan on getting you pregnant as soon as possible."

"Is that a threat?"

He kissed her soundly. "It's a promise. And you know, I always keep my promises."