“Jules, can I ask you something?” We’re sitting on my little porch, sipping our instant coffees and nursing our hangovers.
“Always,” she replies.
“Do you believe that if you truly love something, you should, and will, fight for it?”
“Absolutely,” she answers immediately. “Why do you ask that?”
“Well, over the last few months I’ve had a lot of time to think and I’ve spent a great deal of time thinking about Matt and me. I thought I loved him. I mean, I guess deep down I’d hoped that love felt differently to what I felt for him but I think I just convinced myself that I loved him because … well, I don’t really know why I convinced myself of that. But I realized in those first few weeks after leaving that if I really did love him, like real, true love, then I would have stayed and fought for him. But I didn’t. I left without blinking, without turning back and without ever really contemplating staying. At first I blamed that on my father’s infidelities, but then I came to realize that wasn’t it. Then I thought that maybe I left because I’m not a fan of confrontation-,”
She cuts me off with a scoff so I raise my eyebrow questioningly at her.
“Oh Puhleese. Not a fan of confrontation? Says the woman who tore our Year Ten Science teacher a new one because she didn’t want to dissect frogs,” she says giving me a pointed look.
“Dissecting frogs is
disgusting
and besides, I was sixteen, young and stupid - that’s different.”
“Okay then, what about the woman who stood toe to toe with a seven foot, two hundred kilo security guard at Mardi Gras because he wouldn’t let us into a VIP drag party because we weren’t drag queens. You argued discrimination, then you tried to plead with him, then you fed his ego and offered to let him cop a feel of your boob if he’d just let us in for an hour or two. When that didn’t work you called him all the names under the sun, shoved his chest and we stomped off. Now, you can’t argue that you were young and stupid then because we were twenty four.”
I start laughing at the memory and Jules joins in. “That was a great night. The only downer was not being able to get into that party,” I say wistfully.
“So tell me more about Jackson.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” I say rubbing my hands over my face in frustration, “He drives me mad. He’s so … ugh, I don’t know what he is but he really gets under my skin. Did I tell you about the night I met him?” She shakes her head no.
“He was sitting at the end of the bar with his brother –
twin brother
, Jules. Identical twin.”
“Yummy,” she murmurs.
“There’s no denying they’re both sexy as sin, but anyways, I went to serve them and he flirted and grabbed my hand. I felt tingles, Jules, fucking current like shocks straight up my arm.
Then
, this woman comes over and she’s all whiney and fake – fake hair, fake nails, fake tan – and she starts accusing him of always cheating on her and not being committed to make their relationship work.”
“Then what?”
“Well, I ripped my hand from his and walked away. There’s no doubt about it, Jules, that man is bad news with a capital B.”
“That’s where I think you’re wrong, Edie, I’ve got to tell you, and honey, I know you don’t like talking about it, but I feel it’s time. Since your parents passed, you’ve been different. You changed, and I’m not saying it’s a bad thing and that I love you any less because it’s not and I don’t, but it’s like you’re not you anymore. Everything became stable and predictable for you. Remember when we were growing up and we were foot loose and fancy free, living each day like it was our last, with no regrets? We were
living
, Edie. But your parents passed and all of sudden you started just
existing
. It killed me that there was nothing I could do to help you, except love you and support you and be there for you, but sweetie, I’ve got to tell you that last night when you were dancing with Jackson, I saw some of my old Edie shining through – actually, I saw a lot of her shining through, and I fucking loved it. I love you in any way you come, you know that, but I’d really love to have my best friend start living again. You know it deep down, Edie, but you’re too scared to admit it. Jackson is the type of guy you could fall in love with. My best friend a couple of years ago would have jumped right in feet first, knowing that even if the ride turned to shit, she still enjoyed it with no regrets. You miss that ride, sweetie, you’re going to have regrets. It might turn bad, it might not, you’ll never know unless you try and from what I saw last night and from what you’ve told me, he’s got it just as bad for you. The only difference is, he isn’t afraid to admit it.”
“What about the other woman? You can’t expect me to jump into something like that knowing what he’s like,”
“I don’t know the situation with the other woman, and neither do you. You can’t just disregard him based on something you only know a small amount about. She could have been causing a drama for all you know. But you won’t know unless you talk to him.”
“What do you mean I’ve been different since my parents passed?”
“Sweetie, exactly what I said. Matt wasn’t even your type. You lost your parents and then a month later hooked up with Matt. You latched onto him in an attempt to stop your life spinning out of control. You were grieving and wanted anything constant and stable to become a permanent fixture in your life. You thought Matt was it, not because you liked him enough to maybe one day fall in love with him, but because he fit the profile you’d created in your head of someone who would last and offer you the security you were craving because you’d just lost your parents.”
“Oh god. You’re right. I did do that. That’s what I was doing all along. When did you become so sage? Have you been taking psychology classes or something since I’ve been gone?” I hang my head and wonder where it all went wrong. I don’t have to wonder for long though, because I already know the answer. My parent’s tragic, early and untimely death.
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, sweetie, you did what came naturally to you. You’d just lost you parents for fucks sake and you latched onto people who you thought wouldn’t leave you.”
“Last night wasn’t the first time he’s kissed me,” I admit.
Jules’ eyes widen. “You failed to mention
that
. Details,” she demands as only a best friend can.
“I went to a local waterhole for a swim. He turned up …,” I go on to tell her everything that happened with Jackson that day, word for word.
“
Holy shit
,” she exclaims when I’m done, “told you he had it bad for you. And the fact that you remember everything he said, the way he said it and how it made you feel, tells me I was right about the fact that you have feeling for him as well. Edie, girl, you got bad.” Then she breaks into song, “
You got it, you got it bad …”
“You are crazy! This coffee is shit. Let’s get dressed and go down to the Coffee House for a real coffee,” I say.
“Do they have chocolate croissants?” Jules asks hopefully.
“Yep.” At least, they did the other day. I hope they’re a menu regular and not just a special, otherwise Jules might get her cranky pants on.
“What are we waiting for? Let’s go.”
“You two look a bit worse for wear,” Ava chuckles as Jules and I walk into the coffee shop.
“You’re a freak. You were as drunk as us last night and here you are the next morning, not only working but working with
food
. That’s not normal,” I tell her.
“I’ve got a cast iron gut. I never get hangovers. I’ve been here since six this morning,” she pokes out her tongue.
“Bragger,” Jules scowls.
“What can I getcha?” Ava laughs.
“Large vanilla latte and a chocolate croissant for me. What are you having?” Jules turns to me and asks.
“I’ll have a large caramel latte and a slice of that bacon and egg pie.”
“No worries. You guys sitting inside or out?”
“Out,” we answer in unison.
“Won’t be long,” Ava says.
Jules and I make our way outside and pick a table in the sun. We don’t have to wait long before Ava sets our order down in front of us. We both breathe deep the aroma of the coffee and make ‘ahhh’ sounds.
“Edie, last night Bastiaan and Zekia told me that they’re leaving town in a couple of days to continue their travels. What do you think about catching up for a meal and drinks at the pub one night before they leave?”
“Oh no! They’re leaving? I thought they’d be sticking around for a while,” I’m saddened by the thought. I really like Bastiaan and Zekia.
“Yeah, they’ve been here a while, though. They want to keep moving – see as much of Oz as they can before they have to go back to Jamaica,” Ava explains.
“Okay, well I’m in. I’d love to have drinks and dinner. Just let me know which night – I work day shifts this week so I’ll be free any time after seven.”
“I only just met them, but I’d love to be there.” Jules replies.
“Let’s swap mobile numbers and then I can text you with a time and day. I’ll ask Bastiaan and Zekia when suits them and we’ll go from there.”
Jules and I give our numbers to Ava and she programs them into her phone. The she sends us a text so we’ve got her number. Ava then goes back in to keep working and Jules and I enjoy our coffee and food with the warm Northern Territory sun beaming down on us. Bliss.
After finishing our coffee, Jules and I decide to hire a DVD and spend the day vegging out. The only place to hire DVD’s was at the supermarket so we headed there, got a couple of movies and some munchies and made our way back to cottage.
We managed to get through
Pitch Perfect, The Hangover
and
Bridesmaids
before we decided to get some proper food for dinner. Our hangover had long since dissipated but even so, I knew we were going to have a quiet night.
“What do you feel like?” Jules asks as she sweeps a coat of mascara on her eyelashes.
“I saw someone the other day eating the schnitzel so I’m going to try that. It’s monstrous though so I hope they do doggy bags.”
“Mmm, that sounds yum. I think I’ll have that too.”
We order our schnitzels with Dianne sauce and veggies and make it part way through before we’re fit to explode. Luckily, they do give doggy bags, so Jules and I take our leftovers back to cottage and spend the night lazing and watching more DVD’s.
I hear my phone ping its text message notification sound at about half past ten. Wondering who it could be I reach over and look at the display. It’s a number I don’t recognize.
*Figured out a day I can feed you yet?*
*Who is this?*
I reply, knowing damn well who it is. How the hell did he get my number? I turn to Jules.
“Did you give Jackson my number?” I accuse.
“No,” she answers, dragging the word out. That, and the way her lips are twitching are a clear sign she’s lying.
“
Jules!
Why on Earth did you do that?”
“You needed a push in the right direction,” she shrugs.
“I’ve told you I don’t like him. He infuriates me.”
“You say that, but actions speak louder than words. There’s enough sexual chemistry between you two, to conduct the electricity for this entire town. That and the fact that you
like
him - a best friend knows these things even if you’re too blind to admit it. Is the reason I gave him your number,” she smiles smugly.
“Sexual tension doesn’t matter if he annoys the shit out of me, and I don’t
like
him because, did I mention,
he annoys the shit out of me
,”
“So just fuck him out of your system,”
I gasp. “Julia,”
“What? You know you want to. And don’t try to tell me you haven’t imagined what that muscled God like creature is capable of in the sack. What all that tan, toned hardness would feel like moving in and out of you. Don’t tell me you haven’t imagined what his cock looks like, how big it is, whether it’s thick, long, lean or fat.” She clenches her legs together. “Man, just thinking about it has me turned on! What’d his text say?”