Authors: Silla Webb
Bill looks to me, then to Drew, waiting for his response. Drew stands from the chair, straightening his shirt, brushing at the imaginary lint on the cuff of his sleeve. He shoves his hands in his pockets, and walks towards the door. He twists the knob, and turns back to me,
“Ms. Simon, I’m disappointed that we couldn’t come to an agreement today. I’ll be in touch. Bill, I’ll see you at the office later.”
It’s been two weeks since Drew Varney walked into my office unannounced. Two weeks since finally seeing with my own eyes the breathing evil that is my illegitimate brother. Drew seems to be laying below the radar. I was dead serious about buying his partnership with Dalton Trucking, just to rid Bill of that pain in the ass.
When I told Colton what I had offered Drew, he wasn’t sure how to respond. I explained to him that I didn’t want the partnership myself. I had planned to sign my portion of the company over to him, so he could keep the business in his family where it belonged, safe from the talons of venomous vultures, like Drew Varney.
I see Bill almost daily, and he hasn’t mentioned anything else about the contracts, or my offering to buy out Drew’s partnership for Dalton Trucking. In fact, Bill has been utterly silent, and it has Colton really worried. Bill is a grouchy ass bastard, there is no denying that. But there is something that lies beneath the surface, something that is gnawing at him about this entire situation. Colton has tried to talk to him, but he just pushes him away and tells him to leave the business to him, and keep mining his coal.
Colton and I are moving forward, trying to rebuild our relationship into what it once was. When we come home from work each day, we spend our evenings with Heidi Jo, then we fall into each other’s arms once we have her tucked away in bed. Heidi Jo is beyond ecstatic that I’m around more often, and she really brings happiness into my life.
Colton is working night shift tonight, and has been in the bed most of the evening, so I surprised Heidi Jo with a girl’s night out. I picked her up from school early, and started the evening off with Mani/Pedi’s at my favorite salon. Next, we hit the mall, and do some Christmas shopping for her and Colton. This kid can shop! Every store she walks in she finds a new dress or shoes that she just can’t live without. Probably doesn’t help that I enjoy shopping just as much, and have a sweet spot for her chunky little face. We finish the evening off at her favorite ice cream shop, sharing a bowl full of rocky road ice cream.
“Oh, I’m sure glad you brought me for ice cream, Carly Jo. Daddy won’t let me eat it when it snows, he says it’s too cold and that I need hot chocolate, not ice cream.”
“Your daddy is silly, Heidi Jo. He just don’t understand that no matter how cold it is outside, a girl always needs her ice cream.”
She laughs, cramming a spoon full of the chocolaty goodness into her mouth.
“Ya know, my daddy thinks you’re more than just pretty Carly Jo, he loves ya.” She says, licking the spoon.
“He does? Just what makes ya think that, sweets?” I kid with her, amused by her excitement that she thinks she is sharing secrets.
“Because he always brushes his teeth, and sprays on that boy perfume when he’s comin’ to see you. He bakes peanut butter kiss cookies for you, and he named me after you. Daddy loves me to the moon and back, so he has to love you a whole awful lot to name me after you.” Her wide eyes, glistening brightly as she whispers this secret across the table.
I think about what she says for just a minute, and then it hits me. He gave Heidi Jo my middle name. Colton is the only person who always calls me Carly Jo. Everyone else refers to me as Carly. Or when I was little and in trouble, Daddy called me Carolina Jo Simon, which translated to oh shit, what’d I do now? I giggle along with her, and commit the comment to memory.
Heidi Jo finishes her ice cream, licking the bowl clean, but missing her sticky hands and cheeks. I wipe her face and tell her to go to the bathroom to wash her hands before we leave. She bounces from the bathroom a few minutes later and we leave the ice cream shop to head home. I fasten her seat belt and climb in the driver seat. I start the engine, then thumb through the playlist on my iPod searching for a song to jam to.
“What song do you want to hear?” I ask Heidi Jo over my shoulder.
“Eh, nothin’ right now.”
“Nothing? What’s wrong, did you eat so much ice cream that you’re worried you might shake your belly too much, dancing in your seat?”
“Nah, I just wanna talk right now is all.” She states, very matter-of-factly.
“Okay, talk sweets.”
“Well, I don’t wanna hurt your feelings.” I turn in my seat, and look at her chubby little face. She is looking down at her skirt, fidgeting with the hot pink sequin.
“Heidi Jo, whatever it is, you can say it sweets. I’m a big girl, you won’t hurt my feelings, promise.”
“Cross your heart?”
“Cross my heart.” I tell her, making imaginary x’s with my finger over my heart, just as I did when I was a kid.
“Why don’t I have a mommy?”
I freeze. I can feel the pressure behind my eyes as they threaten to jump right out of my head. I reach back, unbuckling her seatbelt and help her climb over to the front seat.
“Heidi Jo, have you talked to your daddy about your mommy?” I ask her, so scared to even touch the subject due to the sensitivity of it. She nods her head up and down, and continues to play with her dress.
“And what did Daddy tell you, baby girl?”
“Daddy told me that my mommy is an angel up in heaven.”
“That’s what your daddy told me too. But sometimes, Mommy’s are so special, that God needs them to help Him in heaven. He knew that your daddy was big and strong and could take good care of you.” I don’t know how else to answer.
“Well, why did he have to take my little baby too?”
“You’re little baby?” I ask, confused by what she is referring too.
“Your baby, Carly Jo. Daddy told me that I should have a little brother or sister, but it went to heaven before it could be born. Why?”
Tears well up in my eyes, and my breath has escaped my body. I had no idea that Colton had told her about the baby. Why would he do that? Hell, she is just a baby herself. There is no way she can wrap her tiny little head around any of this. I can’t even understand it some days. I take her hand in mine and give her the only answer I can.
“I don’t know, sweets. It isn’t fair, and it hurts, but I don’t have any answers.” I pull her into a hug and kiss the top of her head. She is a tough kid, asking such profound questions for her six year old mind. She doesn’t cry a single tear, she isn’t even sad, really. She just doesn’t understand.
“Will you be my momma one day?” She smiles at me with her eyes. My breath hitches, my throat feels as if it is closing up and my heart has stilled. She is staring up at me waiting for an answer, but I don’t have an answer to give her. I can’t tell her no, and I’m not sure I want to. So I offer her the only answer I can think of while in dire panic.
“Heidi Jo, I think you and your daddy need to talk about that, baby girl. I love you so, so much. But you need to talk to Daddy, okay.”
Her little face falls flat, and I can see that I’ve just shattered her world. I hate that I’ve broke her heart, but Colton and I are just building our relationship, and I’m just really getting to know her. I can’t say well sure, I’ll be your mom, let’s hop off to Disney World to celebrate. I’d love to, but in reality, that’s just not how life works.
Heidi Jo nods then hugs me before climbing over the console to the back seat.
“Buckle up, the roads are slick. When we get home, we’ll wrap the presents you bought your daddy, okay?”
“Awesome blossom. Turn the music up, and let’s roll.”
And just like that, she is back to her smiling self, forgetting the little moment we just shared.
COLTON
Carly Jo and Heidi Jo are just comin’ in from God knows what they have gotten into, just as I’m gettin’ ready for work. Heidi Jo rushes into my arms and starts to tell me all about their girls’ night, flashin’ her sparkly hot pink fingers and toes.
“They put my feet in warm bubbles and it tickled.” She giggles.
“Did ya have fun, baby girl?”
“Sure did, Carly Jo bought me dresses and boots too, but said I have to wait to open some of them on Christmas.” She whines, rollin’ her eyes back in her head, before bouncin’ down the hall to her bedroom. Carly Jo wraps her arms around my waist, tippin’ up on her toes to kiss me.
“Missed ya,” she whispers against my lips. I kiss her softly, because if I pull her any closer, I’ll be late for work.
“Thanks for takin’ Heidi Jo out for the evenin’, did my girls have fun?” She follows me into the kitchen and puts together my lunch for the night.
“We had a great time. We went to the salon for some pampering, shopped for some Christmas presents, then we shared some ice cream.”
“Ice cream in the middle of December? Shoulda had hot chocolate.” I shake my head.
“How’d I know you’d say that?” She laughs, wrappin’ her arms around my neck to kiss me.
“Well, I’m gonna be late if I don’t get goin’. Make sure she eats dinner, and has her bath. Don’t let her con you into lettin’ her stay up past eight thirty, got it.” I bark out my orders on my way out the door.
“I got this. Be careful tonight. Love ya.”
When I get to the mines, I put on my gear and head to the man trip.
I’ve been tryin’ to keep a close eye on Eric since I suspected that he was usin’. I’ve talked to Dave a couple of times, and each time I mention Eric, he assures me that Eric is a hard worker, never givin’ him any reasons to doubt him. Regardless, it’s my job to make sure that these men stay in line, and there are no safety issues.
When I get to the section where the men are workin’, everything seems to be runnin’ steady. I make my way through the section, lookin’ for Dave when I hear cussin’ comin’ from the pinner men. I approach the two who are about to come to blows right here, underground.
“Y’all wanna tell me what the hell’s goin’ on?” I ask, lookin’ from Eric to Duke. Eric doesn’t say a word, just shakes his head and scratches his beard.
“I can’t work with this jackass when he’s all jumpy. He’s gonna get me hurt. Son of a bitch ain’t payin’ a lick of attention to what he’s doin.” Duke’s face is beet red, as he flexes his fists at his sides.
“Duke, I’ll take over for ya. Go see if Dave needs your help movin’ supplies or somethin’.” Duke nods, turnin’ on his heels in search of Dave, cussin’ every step of the way. I look to Eric, his face is void of emotion. He appears calm.
“What was that about, Eric?” I ask him, pullin’ on my gloves.
“Boss, I lost focus one time and the damn son of a bitch just started screamin’ at me. I don’t know what his problem is. It won’t happen again.” I nod, and grab the supplies for the next row of roof to be bolted.
“Well, let’s get this shit done. Times wastin’.” We get to work, pinnin’ the unsteady roof above us. I operate the pinner for a while, then hand it off to Eric. We pin a few more rows, before takin’ a lunch break. I grab my bucket and head off to join the rest of the crew.
I drop my ass to the cold ground, and Eric sits beside of me. The men around me are bitchin’ as usual, but I pay no mind to any of ‘em. I just let ‘em bitch. After we finish up with lunch, we shoot the shit for a beat, before startin’ back to work. Standin’ to my feet, I tell Eric to move his ass.
“On my way Boss…let me take a piss first.”
I nod and head back to the pinner. Eric joins me shortly after, a little longer than I’d say a piss takes, but damn, I ain’t about to even ask about that shit. We get back to work, pinnin’ the roof. I hate roof boltin’. It’s loud, filthy, and dangerous as hell. But someone’s gotta do it, or this shit’s gonna collapse.
Eric’s good on the pinner, pretty quick and accurate. So, I let him roof bolt, while I help with the supplies. We pin a few more rows, when I notice Eric’s demeanor start to shift. He’s calm, but too calm. His face is palin’, sweat beads rollin’ down his forehead.
“Ya alright?” I ask him, worried that he may have taken somethin’ durin’ lunch.
“Yeah Boss, I’m good. Just ate somethin’ that ain’t sittin’ right with me. Probably just picked up the stomach bug from my damn kids.” He tells me wipin’ his sweat laced brow. Stomach bug’s been floatin’ around for a while, Heidi Jo had it just last week, so I think nothin’ else of it.
Eric drills through the roof with the pinner, and I grab a plate and bolt to secure the roof with, after the hole is drilled. I reach him the bit, and place the plate over the hole. He positions the drill centered with the plate, and begins to drill. He swipes his face with his shoulder, wipin’ away the sweat that is now rollin’ from his eyebrows.