Cover Your Eyes (26 page)

‘I told him. We spoke on the phone. He rang the house and asked to speak to me.'

‘Good Lord, Ma, I didn't know you were into matchmaking.'

Eva smiled. ‘I had no idea either. It's just sort of crept up on everyone. When I looked back on certain conversations I'd had with Luke, it struck me that he might have been keen on her for a while. But I thought that she liked Tom till quite recently, so I didn't say anything. And now I think it's a rather good match, don't you?'

‘I have no idea! Honestly, Ma. It's not any of our business is it?' She looked suddenly worried. ‘She's not going to go off with him and leave the girls, is she? Do you think she'd do that?'

‘I have no idea what she'll do but we don't have to worry about that tonight, surely?'

*

The restaurant was almost empty when we got there. I was glad I'd dressed up a bit for the Nativity Play because even though it was in the country, you could see it was the kind of place which wouldn't have been happy with jeans and trainers in the evening. Luke had booked a table in the corner.

‘I like this place,' he said, ‘because the tables are nice and far apart. I hate it when the next table can hear what you're saying.'

‘I'm sorry about the other day, Luke. When I ran out … I can explain.'

‘I was just worried about you. I thought it might have been something I said.'

‘No, it wasn't that at all. Well, not entirely.'

The food came and we ate it and all through the starter and most of the first course, I talked. I told Luke everything, every single thing about me, apart from the story of my abortion, and that was because I'd never in my life sat opposite a person who listened to me so attentively. I forgot that I hardly knew him and what he got was my entire life story, or the bits of it that mattered to me. When I'd finished I said, ‘I've never done that before. You should have chipped in, told me to shut up. You listen too well.'

‘May I ask you something?' he said.

‘Of course.'

‘It's about Tom. Are you sure it's over? I don't want you to regret anything.'

‘I told you. I should never have started anything with Tom. I was on the rebound and he was just …
there
. It was wrong of me, but it's okay. We're friends now. He made me feel better when I was in a really awful state. But that's in the past now.'

‘Fine,' he said. Then he took my hand across the table and I felt as if I might faint. ‘I want to know everything about you.'

I shouldn't have said what I said next, but it was out of my mouth before I could stop myself. ‘Why?' I asked him and he answered. I knew he would. He wasn't the kind of man who'd duck a question.

‘Because I liked you from the start.'

‘Really?'

‘Then when I saw you the second time, I couldn't make a pass at someone who was showing me round a house.' He was smiling. ‘I was very keen to buy Salix House and that was, I must confess, more on my mind that day than you were. Though …' He stopped.

‘Though what?'

‘I fancied you the very first time I saw you. When you blocked my car, do you remember? I made up my mind to find out more about you.'

‘What did you find out?'

‘Not much. Eva told me you'd written an article about her so I looked that up online.'

‘That article wasn't exactly as I wrote it. It was … well, badly edited. And I Googled you, you know.” I didn't tell him that I'd only done this after his last phone call. ‘I didn't find out much.'

‘I haven't got much of an online presence. That's deliberate.'

‘But I saw images of you with lots of lovely women at parties and things.'

He laughed. ‘Lots of women, right? Not the same woman over and over again. What do you make of that?'

‘Should I make something of it?'

‘It means I'm unattached. Those women you found me with were wives of my colleagues and friends at various corporate events. Balls, fundraisers, and so forth.'

‘Good,' I said. I couldn't help saying it. Luke had stopped holding my hand and I found myself wishing he hadn't. We were eating dessert. I looked at him and began to wonder what it would be like to kiss him. Suddenly I wished we were out of this place and somewhere alone together. He raised his eyes from his plate and smiled at me.

‘Let's go, shall we? I'll get the bill.'

There was no one in the car park. It was quite dark, apart from what little light was spilling out of a tiny window at the back of the restaurant. When we reached his car, I went to the passenger side door and he came with me, to open it. He was standing behind me as I leaned down and then I felt him put his hands on my shoulders and turn me round gently.

‘Megan,' he said, or I think he said. I don't know if he said it, or I imagined it. I know he kissed me. Every kiss I'd ever had in my life before was erased from my mind. I don't know how long we stood there. Ages. Seconds. Time had disappeared and I couldn't stop trembling. My arms were around Luke's neck and he leaned forward so that my back was pressed against the car. If I could have made myself dissolve into his body at that moment, I'd have done it. When we pulled apart, he traced the outline of my mouth with one finger and then started to kiss me again: softly this time, then moving on to my hair where he kept on whispering my name. I wanted him to never stop. In the end, we got into the car. Luke glanced at me and put a hand out and touched me briefly.

‘I wish,' he said, ‘that I didn't have to go back to London tonight. Will you email me? Can we speak on the phone? I'm in meetings, but I'll email. I never write emails but I want to write to you. Okay?'

‘Yes,' I said. My voice sounded shaky, uncertain. I was reliving his kisses. I couldn't take in what had just happened.

‘Next weekend,' he said. ‘Can you be away overnight?'

I knew what he was asking and I nodded. I didn't want to risk speaking. How was the time going to pass till I saw him again? Till next weekend? He said, ‘I don't exactly know how I'm going to get through till then,' and I laughed.

‘Why's that funny?'

‘Because,' I said, ‘I was thinking the exact same thing.'

We arrived at Salix House at ten o'clock. When I waved him goodbye from the porch as he drove away, I glanced at my watch again. Ten fifteen. How was it possible for one kiss to last fifteen minutes? It must have been more than one kiss, I thought, as I went upstairs. Thousands of separate kisses merging into one another. I lay down on the bed and the only thing that I could see was Luke. The imprint of his mouth was still there on my swollen lips.

Eva sat at her desk in the study looking at Megan who was sitting on the sofa, typing furiously on her laptop and smiling to herself.

‘Is that comfortable?' Eva asked. ‘I know they call them laptops but I find it amazing that you can balance it like that on your knees.'

‘I don't mind. I'm used to it.' Megan looked up smiling.

‘You're happy,' Eva said. ‘You can't hide it. It's Luke, isn't it?'

‘How do you know? I thought I hadn't given anything away. The girls still think Tom and I are an item.'

‘And you're not, of course. I knew that. I could see how you felt about Luke when you told me about his wife and child. What a tragedy!' She looked solemn. ‘Also, you're texting much more often than usual. I've noticed that your laptop is always with you and whenever the girls ask you what you're doing, you say:
I'm checking my emails.'

‘I
am
checking them,' Megan said.

‘You never used to do that so much before last week. Now, mysteriously there seems to be a great deal of traffic.'

Megan shut the laptop, put it beside her on the sofa and stood up. She went over to Eva at the desk, put an arm around her shoulders and hugged her.

‘What a nosy person you are, Eva! Okay, okay. I confess. I get about five emails a day from Luke. He's much more … well, much more demonstrative on email than he seems in real life. I've told him everything. Everything about Simon, and the baby and the way I felt about it and Angelika … you didn't mind that I told him about your sister?'

‘No, of course I don't. Everyone can know the whole truth now. And you must start your relationship knowing as much as possible about one another. I think that's very important.'

‘And I answer every single message of his because, in case you didn't know, I can't wait to see him and basically every email says a version of that. I'm in love.'

Eva felt, suddenly, as happy as she could remember feeling for a very long time. ‘How lovely. And Rowena told me earlier that you'll be away for the weekend. Let me guess: he's coming back and you're spending it together. Am I right?'

Megan nodded. ‘He's coming to fetch me at six o'clock.'

Eva got up. ‘I must get ready for supper now, but you have a wonderful time and tell me all about it when you get back, won't you?'

‘I wouldn't dream of it,' Megan laughed. ‘I don't think it's going to be the kind of weekend I'd want to describe to anyone.”

‘Excellent,' said Eva. ‘That's the best kind of weekend there is.'

I was right, Eva thought. That's exactly the right place for the mirror. She glanced up and caught sight of herself sitting at the round table in the dining area of the flat. The mirror, a large antique glass in a wooden frame decorated with swags of carved and gilded ribbons and flowers had become the centrepiece of the room, doubling the space and reflecting everything in a way that seemed to soften every hard edge.

She'd spotted it in a nearby junk shop shortly before she moved into Frobisher Court and bought it at once, liking the slightly wavy reflections she saw in it. The silvering at the back of the glass must be very old, she thought. It gave her enormous satisfaction to know that it could live in her home and be something that made the place more beautiful – something that wasn't a source of anguish and terror. It was hard to believe that she'd been settled here for a whole month, but remembering Salix House and the years when it had been her home was like thinking of a movie she'd once seen, starring someone else. Not her; not the Eva she was now.

Writing to Lissa had turned Eva's mind to thoughts of the wedding. The reception would be at Salix House. Megan wanted bronze velvet for Dee and Bridie's dresses, and Eva approved of that decision, but what about their hair? Ribbons? Flowers? There were still so many things to work out. It was eight o'clock at night and the last light of the April day was still filling the room. Eva felt no need yet to switch on the lamp. She was no longer afraid of twilight, or shadows or mirrors. She was no longer afraid. There are no ghosts here, she thought. Not any more. Not even the ghost of a ghost.

She stroked the heavy white paper spread out on the table in front of her and picked up a pencil. It was time to think about the present she'd promised Megan: a wedding dress which would not only be perfect on the day, but which would have a life when the ceremony was over. An Eva Conway creation.

Laura Cecil, Linda Newbery, Linda Sargent, Sally Prue and Jean Ure have been with me throughout the writing of this novel and I'm very grateful to them.

Thanks also to Jane Wood and everyone at Quercus; Leslie Wilson, who translated into German everything that needed translation; Fanny Blake, who told me about magazine deadlines; Margaret Taylor, who shared her experience of living with a gifted child and Jane Mitchell of Kerry Taylor Associates, Auctioneers.

Jenny Geras and my late husband, Norman Geras, gave me, as always, constant support and encouragement. And to Sophie Hannah, who was involved with the book from the very beginning and was its first reader, I owe more thanks than I can measure. Her insight and skill have helped me enormously.