Dad frowned. “Jah, well, if he'd listen to what I have to say and quit walkin' through life with one foot in the world, there'd be no dispute here or any raised voices.”
Jake tapped his foot as his patience waned further. He'd been on the verge of telling his folks that he'd decided not to return to Montana, but now he was having second thoughts. With the snowy weather making it hard to travel, he figured the best thing to do was to wait until spring to make his decision. In the meantime, he needed to put as much space between himself and Dad as possible, so he whirled around and started for the door.
“Where are you going?” Mom called. “It's almost time for lunch.”
“I'm not hungry. I'm going outside to the barn so I can have some time alone to think.” Jake jerked open the door and let it close behind him a little harder than usual. If things didn't improve around here by spring, he would definitely return to Montana.
Jolene had just entered the bath and body store in Shipshewana to do some Christmas shopping, when she spotted Katie at the cash register. She waited until Katie finished paying for her purchases, and then she stepped up to her and said, “I'm surprised to see you in town this afternoon. I figured you'd be at the stamp shop waiting on desperate customers buying last-minute Christmas presents.”
“I was there earlier, but I had a dental appointment this afternoon and decided to come here afterward to do some Christmas shopping of my own.” Katie grinned. “I want to get something nice for Freeman.”
Jolene smiled. “It won't be long before spring is upon us. Are you getting excited about your wedding in April?”
“Oh, jah, I can hardly wait.”
A pang of jealousy stabbed Jolene's heart. She didn't even have a boyfriend, and even if she had one, there were no guarantees that she'd ever get a marriage proposal.
A vision of Lonnie popped into Jolene's head. She'd never admit it, but she was beginning to have strong feelings for him. Of course, it didn't matter how she felt, because he'd told her that he would never look for love again.
To complicate matters, Jolene suspected that Lonnie might be interested in Ella, for he talked about her a lot. But given his reservations about marriage, it was unlikely that he'd ever act upon those feelings.
“Are you all right?” Katie asked, nudging Jolene's arm. “Your eyes are misting up like you're on the verge of tears.”
Jolene gave Katie a hug. “I'm just happy for you and Freeman.”
Tears welled in Katie's eyes. “I never thought I could be this happy. After all the depression and anxiety I went through after Timothy died, I never thought I'd live a normal life again.” Her eyes brightened, and a smile stretched across her face. “God is so good. Every day, I praise and thank Him for helping me to overcome my panic attacks.”
“We all have much to be thankful for,” Jolene agreed.
You look like you're enjoying your work,
Wayne wrote on the tablet he then handed to Lonnie.
“Next to tuning wind chimes, I've never had a job I enjoy so much.” Lonnie signed as he spoke, since Wayne had sat in on a few lessons while Ella was teaching her family and Jake. Lonnie figured it might help his new boss learn quicker if he signed whenever he spoke.
I'm glad to hear you like the work. Don't forget what I told you earlier. I want you to feel free to use my tools to work on your own projects during your lunch hour and breaks,
Wayne wrote.
“I'll remember that.” Lonnie had plans to not only make his mother and sisters something for Christmas, but Jolene as well. He wanted it to be a thank-you gift for her teaching him to sign and read lips. Although he still wasn't comfortable with lip reading, he hoped he'd eventually get better at it and could use that skill in public rather than relying on the tablet and pen he kept in his pocket.
Lonnie worked quietly for the next few hours. When it was time for lunch, he ate quickly and started working on a bird feeder for Jolene. As he cut the pieces of wood, he thought about how kind and patient she'd been with him. Even when he'd been irritable and negative, she'd remained optimistic and helpful, always encouraging him to keep trying and not to give up. There was something about Jolene's gentle, sweet spirit that drew him to her. There'd been times when he'd been tempted to ask her out, but fear of her rejection had always held him back. Besides, what did he have to offer a woman? He couldn't make any kind of commitment. The thought of becoming a husband and maybe a father scared him to death.
Lonnie wanted to believe that God would provide for his needs and help him through any situation, but being deaf limited him in so many ways. Sometimes the fear he felt was almost paralyzing. Other times, especially when he was with Jolene, he felt as if he could accomplish most anything. But did he trust his feelings enough that he could open his heart to her?
Pulling his thoughts aside, Lonnie picked up the hammer and a nail. He needed to get busy on the bird feeder or he'd never get it done.
“Yeow!” The hammer missed the nail and hit his thumb instead.
He grimaced and stuck his thumb between his teeth.
Guess that's what I get for thinking more about Jolene than what I'm doing.
When the throbbing subsided, Lonnie went back to work. A short time later, Freeman showed up with his dog.
Penny leaped into Lonnie's lap, and he dropped his hammer. “Ouch!” It landed on his toe.
Freeman picked the dog up and said something, but Lonnie couldn't make out the words. Oh, how he wished he could hear.
Wayne came to his rescue, handing Freeman a tablet and pen.
Sorry my excitable mutt jumped on you,
Freeman wrote.
She got nervous on the way over because she's scared of the wind. Sometimes she gets so scared that her whole body vibrates.
“It's okay. No harm was done.” Lonnie went back to work on the bird feeder, and Freeman moved over to Wayne's desk. A few minutes later, the dog jumped into Lonnie's lap again. This time she knocked the birdhouse to the floor, and a piece of the roof chipped off.
Lonnie groaned. At this rate, he'd never get Jolene's gift done in time for Christmas.
For the last week Jake had been planning to do some Christmas shopping, but between the horses he had to shoe and the horses he'd begun training recently, he hadn't made it to town. He was glad he'd taken Mom's suggestion and run an ad in the paper, because he'd already gotten some business from folks who needed their buggy horses trained. He'd also bought a few horses that he planned to train and then sell to folks who were in need of a good buggy horse. He enjoyed the training process a lot more than shoeing, but until Dad was working full-time again, Jake knew he'd have to keep shoeing horses.
Jake had just finished shoeing two of their bishop's buggy horses and had a few hours free until it was time to head for home, so he was on his way to Shipshewana to buy a few gifts. He wanted to get Mom a new set of dishes, as she'd mentioned the other day that her old ones had several chips. Buying presents for his younger siblings should be easy enough, since they were usually happy with most any toy. What to get Dad was the question. Whatever Jake decided on, he was sure Dad wouldn't like it. He never liked much of anything Jake said or did. Jake knew it wouldn't be right to leave Dad out, however, so he figured he'd better come up with something.
Jake parked his truck in front of the Red Barn and went inside to look around the various shops. He bought a couple of toys for his younger siblings then decided to head over to the furniture store outside of Shipshewana. Maybe he'd buy Dad a new reclining chair. The one he had now was falling apart, and Dad did like to put his feet up at night and recline while he read the newspaper. Jake hoped if he bought something Dad actually needed, it might improve his attitude toward him. It might make him realize that Jake could do a few things right.
Jake was about to get into his truck when Eunice Byler walked by. She smiled sweetly and said, “It's nice to see you, Jake. What brings you to Shipshe on such a cold, snowy day?”
“I might ask you the same question,” he said.
“I've been delivering some of my candles and soaps to a few of the stores in the area. The ones I brought in before to sell on consignment have all sold.” Her smile widened. “I think it must be because everyone's buying them for Christmas presents.”
“Guess that makes sense.” Jake started to walk away but changed his mind. He'd been wanting to confront Eunice about telling Mom that he planned to leave Indiana, and since there was no one around to hear their conversation, this was the perfect opportunity.
“I've been meaning to ask you something,” Jake said.
“What's that?”
“I'm wondering why you told my mamm that I planned to leave Indiana soon.”
“I never said that.”
“Mom said you did. Said you told her that the last time you spoke with her.”
Eunice's cheeks flushed a bright pink. “I ... uh ... did talk to her, but I didn't really say you'd be leaving soon. I just mentioned that I figured you might be leaving soon since your daed's legs have healed and he's back at work. Besides,” she quickly added, “you did say you might be going back to Montana, remember?”
“That's true, but I only said âmight.' I think you jumped to conclusions. And about my daedâthe doctor said he should wait until he's fully recovered to start shoeing horses again.” Truth was, with the way Dad limped around, Jake wasn't sure he'd ever be able to shoe horses again. Jake didn't want to keep shoeing horses permanently. It would mean he'd have less time for training horses. Besides, Dad needed something to do. If he kept busy, he wouldn't have so much time to think of things he didn't like about Jake.
“I'm sorry to hear your daed's still not able to work. I didn't realize...” Eunice stopped talking, leaned closer to Jake, and touched his arm. “I hope what I said about you leaving didn't create a problem between you and your mamm.”
Jake shrugged. “It's no big deal. I just told her I'd be sticking aroundâthrough the winter at least.”
“Does that mean you might not go back to Montana?”
“It all depends.”
“On what?”
Jake grimaced. Eunice was sure the nosy one. He'd never met a woman so full of questionsâor so irritating. Except for Ella, that is. Nobody, other than Dad, could get under his skin the way Ella did. He still couldn't figure out what she had against him, and that bothered him nearly as much as his strained relationship with Dad. He'd tried to be nice and help Ella's family, but she didn't seem to appreciate it. If he could only do something to convince her that he wasn't as bad as she thought.
Maybe I should buy her a Christmas present. Maybe then she'd realizeâ
“Did you hear what I said?” Eunice gave the sleeve of Jake's jacket a tug.
Jake's mind snapped back to the present. “Wh-what was that?”
“I was wondering if you're going to the Christmas program at the schoolhouse next week.”
“Guess I'll have to, since some of my brothers and sisters have parts in it.”
Eunice smiled. “I'll be there, too, because my brother Richard will be playing the part of Joseph.” She shifted her purse to her other arm. “I'd better get into the store now and see how many bars of soap they need. It was nice seeing you, Jake.”
“Same here,” Jake said as he climbed into his truck.
As Andrew stood beside his horse and buggy watching Eunice and Jake, disappointment flooded his soul. He'd thought Eunice was interested in him, but he guessed he'd been mistaken. From the way Eunice kept touching Jake's arm and leaning so close to him, Andrew was sure she must be interested in Jake.
He'll probably end up breaking her heart the way he did Loraine's. Maybe I should warn her.
Andrew shook his head.
No, she might not appreciate that, and I don't want her to know that I'm jealous. Guess the best thing for me to do is to wait and see what happens. If Eunice and Jake are seeing each other, there's probably nothing I can do about it.
Andrew had been planning to buy Eunice something for Christmas, but after seeing her and Jake together, he decided against it. He didn't want her to think he was being pushy or trying to buy her love. No, the best thing for him to do was to stay clear of Eunice for a while and keep his focus on more important things. The only trouble was, he couldn't think of anything or anyone more important than Eunice.
Andrew's shoulders slumped as he crossed his arms over his chest. He felt totally defeated.
“I can't believe Christmas is only two days away,” Jolene said to Andrew as she made his lunch on a Saturday morning toward the end of December.
“I know. I hope Mom's over the flu by then. None of us will enjoy the holiday if she's sick.” He signed the words as he spoke.
Jolene was pleased that Andrew had caught on so quickly to signing. He was the only one in the family who had, although Mom and Dad were still trying. She would continue to teach them until they could sign well enough to communicate easily with her. Even Eunice was able to sign fairly well now. Jolene wondered what Andrew would think when he found out.
Andrew glanced out the kitchen window and groaned. “It's snowing again, and I'm sure the roads will be slippery. Sure wish I didn't have to go to work today.”
Jolene nodded, feeling empathy for him. “Since it's Saturday, I won't have to teach, but I do have some work to do around here.” She sighed. “I'll be glad when spring comes and we don't have to worry so much about the roads. At least not the kind of worry that winter weather causes.”
“You know what Mom always says: âIn the winter our blood runs more slowly and we can let go of last year's worries.'” Andrew grinned at Jolene and signed,
“So I'm with you. Let's look forward to spring.”
“I certainly am. In the meantime, though, I need to get your lunch finished so you can be off to work.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Guess you can get out whatever you want to drink.”
“Sure, I can do that.” Andrew went to the refrigerator and took out a bottle of apple juice, which he placed on the counter beside his lunch pail. “Can I ask you something, Jolene?”
“Of course.”
“If someone's beginning to have strong feelings for someone, but they think that person has strong feelings for someone else, should they say anything?” Andrew hesitated and pursed his lips. “I mean should the person who has strong feelings for someone tell them and risk rejection, or would it be better if they kept it to themselves?”
Jolene tipped her head and stared at Andrew. “Would this âsomeone' who has strong feelings for someone happen to be you?”
His face reddened, and he gave her a sheepish grin as he nodded.
“Is the other someone Eunice Byler?”
“Jah.”
“Are you in love with her?”
“I haven't gone out with Eunice enough to know if what I'm feeling for her is love, but I do have strong feelings for her.” Andrew frowned. “But I'm worried that she might have feelings for Jake.”
“What makes you think that?”
“I've seen them together a few times. The other day I saw them with their heads real close, and Eunice was touching Jake's arm.”
Jolene bit back a chuckle. The hound dog look on Andrew's face was humorous enough, but the thought that Jake might be interested in Eunice was ridiculous.
“Jake will be going back to Montana in the spring,” Jolene said. “So I don't think he's much of a threat.”
“How do you know he's going back?”
“Eunice told me, when she came for a...” Jolene stopped talking. She'd almost blurted out Eunice's secret.
“What were you going to say? You really don't think there's anything going on with them?”
“I ... uh ... think the only person Eunice is interested in is you.”
Andrew shrugged. “Guess I'll have to wait and see how it goes.”
She smiled. “I guess you will.”
Eunice watched the swirl of snow out the front window of her buggy and knew she'd better concentrate on the road. She didn't want to end up in the ditch like so many other buggies had during frigid weather like this.
I hope Andrew's working today,
she thought. She'd been disappointed that she hadn't been able to speak to him at the school Christmas program last week. He'd left before she'd had the chance. She glanced at the small package on the seat beside her. She hoped he'd like the leather wallet she'd bought for him as a Christmas present. She also hoped he wouldn't think she was too forward by giving him a gift, but he had come to her place for supper a few times, and he'd brought her home from more than one young people's gathering. Still, that didn't mean he cared for her as much as she cared for him. Maybe it was only a strong attraction she felt for Andrew, but when she was with him, she found herself wanting to be a better person ... someone he could trust ... someone he might even come to love.
Eunice's buggy jerked to one side, halting her thoughts. She gripped the reins as the horse picked up speed, but despite her best efforts, her buggy slid off the road. “Easy, Dolly. Easy, girl,” she clucked. “We'd better take it easy or we'll end up stuck in some ditch.”
Eunice was relieved when she was able to guide the horse and buggy back onto the road. She knew she'd better stop thinking about Andrew and pay attention to the road.
A short time later, Eunice pulled her horse and buggy up to the hitching rail outside the harness shop in Topeka. Her excitement mounted, but when she entered the shop, her palms grew sweaty as nervous tension took over. Drawing in a deep breath to help steady her nerves, she moved toward the back of the shop. She found Andrew in front of his workbench, punching holes in a bulky leather strap. Not wishing to disturb his concentration, she stood off to one side.
When he finished the strap and reached for another one, he looked up. That's when he noticed her.
“Wie geht's, Eunice? What brings you out on such a cold, snowy morning?”
She moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue. “I've been delivering some soap and candle orders, and I stopped by to...”
“Maybe you should have asked your daed to make the deliveries. The roads are really nasty this morning, and a horse can be hard to handle on snow and ice.”
“You sound like Jake. I heard him mention to my daed that...”
Andrew's face reddened.
“Duh mich net mit ihm vergleiche!”
Eunice slapped one hand against her hip. “Don't get so testy, Andrew. I was not comparing you to Jake. I only meant that you and Jake...”
“I'd rather not talk about Jake.”
“How come?”
“Because I think my cousin Ella's right about Jake. He can't be trusted.” Andrew pulled another hunk of leather toward him.
Eunice had begun to realize, here of late, that she never listened carefully enough to what was being said, but she was sure Andrew had just said that Jake couldn't be trusted. What that had to do with Jake telling her dad that horses could be hard to control in the snow, she couldn't imagine.
“I didn't come over here to talk about Jake or start an argument with you, Andrew.” Eunice hoped her voice sounded calmer than she felt right now.
“What did you come for?”
“To deliver your Christmas present,”
she signed.
Andrew set the hunk of leather aside and stared at her with a blank expression. He must not have understood what she'd signed. She'd probably messed it up, but good.
His blank expression faded, and his face broke into a wide smile. “When'd you learn how to sign?”
“Didâdid you understand what I said to you?”
“Sure did. You said you came to deliver my Christmas present.”
Eunice felt the tension in her shoulders and neck dissipate. “That's what I said, all right.”
Andrew's mouth hung slightly open as he continued to stare at her. “But how? I mean, you said you were too busy to take signing lessons.”
“I have been busy, but I used it as an excuse not to take lessons with you and your family.”
“How come?”
Eunice's face heated as she dropped her gaze to the floor. “Because I thought it would be hard to learn, and I ... I didn't want to make a fool of myself in front of you.”
“You thought if you couldn't learn signing I'd think you were foolish?”
She lifted her gaze and nodded. “I was never very bright in school, and there are so many things I can't do well. I've felt like a failure most of my life, and I didn't want you to be disappointed in me, too.”
“If you were trying to learn to sign, I sure wouldn't have been disappointed.” Andrew moved away from his workbench and took a step toward Eunice. “How did you learn, anyway?”
Eunice explained how she'd been secretly taking lessons from Jolene at the schoolhouse on the days Jolene wasn't teaching Lonnie or Ella. She ended by saying, “I wanted it to be a surprise.”
“It's a surprise, all right. A very pleasant surprise.”
She smiled. “I don't know how to sign a lot yet, but I plan to keep learning from Jolene and practicing at home. Hopefully I'll get better with time, but it may take me longer than most because I'm not very good at catching on to new things. As I said, I've always felt like a failure, andâ”
Andrew held up his hand. “I've never considered you to be a failure, and you're not dumb, either. You created a good business for yourself, and that had to have taken some doing. Not only that, but you're a real good cook.” He moved a bit closer. “I've enjoyed myself whenever you've had me over for supper.”
“Really?”
“Said so, didn't I?”
She smiled and handed him the gift she had tucked under one arm. “I hope you like what I got you.”
Andrew gave his left earlobe a quick tug and made a funny little grunting sound. “Uh ... how come you bought me something for Christmas?”
“I bought you a gift because you're my friend, and Iâ”
“Did you buy Jake something for Christmas, too?”
“What? No! Besides what I got for my family, you're the only one I've bought a gift for.”
He scratched the side of his head. “But I thought you and Jake...”
“What did you think about me and Jake?”
“I thought you liked him and that the two of you might be going out.”
“What in the world gave you that idea?”
“I've seen you talking to him a few times, and the other day in Shipshe, I saw the two of you standing real close.” Andrew leaned on his workbench, as though he needed it for support. “For a minute there, I was afraid Jake was gonna kiss you.”
Eunice almost laughed out loud as she shook her head. “The only man I care about is you, Andrew Yoder.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
Andrew stepped close to her side, so that his left arm was brushing her right arm.
She trembled from the wave of warmth she felt whenever he was near.
He glanced around, as though worried they might be seen, but there was no one else in the room. Then slowly, he lowered his head until his mouth was almost against her ear. “I've come to care for you, Eunice, and I hope you'll consider what I'm about to say.”
“Wh â what's that?” she asked breathlessly.
“I'd like you to be my steady girlfriend and go out only with me, but there's one little problem.”
“What problem?”
Andrew raked his fingers through the back of his hair.
Confusion, mingled with fear, converged on Eunice. “Andrew, what's the matter? What problem is there between us?”
He cleared his throat a couple of times. “It's a problem with your mouth.”
Instinctively, she reached up and touched her mouth. “Youâyou don't like my mouth?”
Andrew took a step back. “Actually, it's not your mouth I have the problem with, it's what comes out of your mouth, in the form of gossip.”
She moaned. “Oh, that.”
“The Bible says in Proverbs 11:13 that a talebearer reveals secrets. And in Proverbs 10:19 we're told that âin the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.'”
“Jah, Andrew, I know that. I read those same passages in the Biwel the other night, and it made me realize that I have a weakness. But God spoke to my heart.” Tears welled in Eunice's eyes. “And with His help I'll try to do better because I know that gossiping is wrong.”
He nodded. “It can hurt others when we talk about them.”
“You're right, and I don't do it to be mean. Sometimes I'm just not listening close enough to what's being said and I get mixed up about things.” She grimaced. “Of course, I guess the best thing is for me not to repeat what I've heard.”
Andrew nodded and looked like he was going to reach for her hand, but just then, the door of the harness shop opened and an English man stepped in with a saddle.
“I'd better go,” Eunice said. “I'll see you at church tomorrow, Andrew.”
“I'll look forward to that.” He lifted the gift she'd given him. “Danki for this. I'll bring you a gift on Christmas morning.”
Feeling as though she were floating on a cloud, Eunice stepped out the door. When she was a safe distance from the shop, she laughed and spun around in the cascade of heavy snowflakes falling from the sky. They clumped her lashes together and melted on her nose and lips. She licked them and giggled. Her starched head covering absorbed the heavy wetness of the snow, but she didn't care. Andrew cared for her and wanted her to be his steady girlfriend, and he didn't think she was stupid.
Eunice lifted her gaze to the sky.
Please help me, Lord. Help me to remember to bridle my tongue.
As Lonnie trudged up the road toward Jolene's house, he shivered. The long walk through the snow had dampened his back with sweat, and a chill had set in. His horse had thrown a shoe last night, so he'd decided it would be best not to make him pull the buggy until Jake could put on new shoes. Besides, a walk in the brisk air wouldn't hurt him any. It would give him time to think about some of the things that had been weighing heavily on his mind.
In an effort to keep his thoughts off the cold, Lonnie quickened his steps and focused on the scenery and peacefulness of this silent winter day. He recalled that days like this were often silent, even to those who could hear. Every branch and twig was covered under a thick blanket of white. Ice crystals clung to the fence posts surrounding some of the farms he passed. He was tempted to stop and pull one off the way he had as a boy, but he figured he needed to keep going.