Courting Kate (36 page)

“Damn you, Tanner.” She closed her eyes, giving in to her passion. His kisses smothering her protests, he continued his ministrations until she rocked against him.

Her hands roamed his back, inflicting pain as she demanded fulfillment.
 

He brought her to the edge; then, almost mindless with desire himself, he claimed her, using his mastery to make them whole once again. She clutched his shoulders. A keening cry tore from her throat.
 

He pounded her body, conquering her slick, satiny flesh. This time he didn’t try to withdraw; if anything, he drove even deeper. If that’s what it took, he would get her pregnant, that way she’d have to marry him.

He loved her long and well, holding himself intact until he felt her tremble.
 

“Tanner. Tanner,” she cried, quivering like a bowstring in his arms.
 

He cupped her hips, then he, too, strove to reach fulfillment. He plunged one final time, burying himself deep within her, his body pulsating again and again, spilling his life-giving forces.

When it was over and she sagged against him, he withdrew and collapsed by her side. Her breathing evened, and he looked down to see tears on her cheeks. He tenderly wiped them away. “I’m sorry, Kate. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“You didn’t hurt me, but I don’t want us to do it again,” she said, knowing even as she uttered the words that they were a lie. She did want to do it again and even now, gazing into his steel-gray eyes, she felt herself weakening. She should have been satisfied, but a flicker of desire sparked again. She determinedly tamped it down before it could flame to life. “I don’t want us to do it again,” she repeated.
 

“You sure have a funny way of showing it.” He turned and picked up a boot. It was then she noticed his back where her fingernails had raked his flesh.
 

“Oh, Tanner, I’m sorry.” Her fingertip traced the blood- edged welts. “Does it hurt much?”

“It was worth it.” He raised a brow and grinned. He found his shirt and put it on.
 

She saw the garment was missing most of its buttons. She pursed her lips and peeked up at him. “Did I do that, too?”
 

“I’ll lap it over. Nobody will notice.”

“Where are you going?” she asked, noting he sure seemed in a hurry to leave.
 

“We can’t have everybody thinking you’re a fallen woman. If I get out of here before daylight, no one will be the wiser.”

“Oh.”
Fallen woman.
She wished he had used a different expression. “It’s a little late to be thinking of my reputation.”

“Better late than never,” he said, kissing her as he retrieved his other boot.
 

When he was fully dressed, he grabbed his hat and walked back to the bed. Even needing a shave, his hair uncombed, and his shirt lapped over his middle, he took her breath away. He bent and gave her a kiss. “Better lock the door behind me, then go back to sleep. I’ll try to come back later.”

After he had left, she stared at the pale star-speckled sky. Fallen woman. She was that and more. She had willingly surrendered her virginity. She couldn’t blame him for taking what was offered, especially when she’d practically attacked him. Still, it was no reason to get married. She frowned, thinking about that marriage business. Tanner had admitted he would be marrying her because he considered himself obligated, responsible. He’d feel even more so now that she might be carrying his child.
 

What if she did say yes? Would he still feel the same if it turned out she wasn’t pregnant? Would he change his mind when it was time for the ceremony? And if she was pregnant, would he resent her and the child later on? She didn’t know what to think, what to believe.
 

He had made love to her, and not just once, introducing her to passion that she could have only imagined before. Now that she knew what rapture awaited in his arms, she doubted if she’d have the strength to refuse him again.

She had already lost her virginity. Her reputation had gone before that. She certainly had nothing else to lose.

Even now in the dawn’s first light, her flesh warmed with the memory of the night they’d spent. He had caressed her body and made it sing with joy.

But he had never said he loved her.

Chapter 24

Kate didn’t go back to sleep. Instead she heated water and took a bath, removing all telltale traces of their lovemaking. Then, after hurriedly dressing, she stripped the bed. She stared at the blood-dotted sheet. She didn’t dare send that to the laundry. It would be like hanging a sign on her door for everyone to see. She used her bath water to wash it by hand, then hung it by the stove to dry.
 

She reheated the coffee left over from the night before and poured herself a cup. It was thick, black, and bitter as gall, but she drank it. At least it would keep her awake.

Then, for the first time that morning, when she picked up the brush to take the tangles out of her hair, she looked at herself in the mirror. Her lips were swollen from Tanner’s kisses, and her cheeks were red from his whiskery caresses. She critically examined the rest of her appearance and wondered if anyone could tell. She didn’t see anything much different, until she gazed into her eyes.

Guilty. Plain as day.
 

All trace of innocence was gone. Looking back at her were the eyes of a woman. A woman who knew what it was like to be loved by a man. She put the mirror down and quickly walked away. She couldn’t open the pie shop, even if she had dozens of pies baked, which she didn’t. She’d never be able to face anybody again.

“Drat!” She had to open the pie shop. She had promised the miner Tanner had beat out yesterday, claiming the last pie for his own. She couldn’t disappoint the man, especially since he had paid in advance.
 

She tied her apron around her waist and stoked up the stove. There would be questions enough about herself and Tanner without her giving cause for more. Besides, keeping busy helped; it gave her less time to think.
 

When it was time to open her shop, she had some pies cooling and others coming out of the oven. Not as many as the day before, but not so few as to arouse suspicion.
 

The pies went quickly and by the time she’d sold the last of them, she had a raging headache. If anybody noticed anything different about her, they had been too polite to say. And if they had mentioned her reddened complexion, she would have calmly attributed it to having worked over a hot stove all morning.

After depositing her proceeds in the cookie jar, she pulled her shades and locked her door. Then she staggered to the back room and fell across the bed. She was almost asleep when Fluffy hoisted himself up on the edge of the bed and licked her face.
 

“Oh, no.” She rubbed his head. “I supposed you can’t hold it?”

He whined.
 

“All right.” Shielding her eyes from the light with the back of her hand, she opened the door and let her pet outside. But, remembering the night he was shot, she sat on the steps and watched him carefully, calling him back when he started to wander out of sight.
 

The day was warm, and pine-scented breezes sent the green grass nodding in the field behind the toolshed. She gazed at the mountain and wondered when wildflowers would be blooming in the meadow. She thought of the flowers Tanner had brought her and wished she had them back. She wouldn’t put them in a vase, her allergy wouldn’t allow that. But she would press them between the pages of a book, preserving them and her memories. When she was old, she would bring them out and show them to her children and her grandchildren.

Children? Grandchildren?

Until this morning she had never thought of having any. She absently rubbed her palm across her middle.

“Penny for your thoughts.”

Kate glanced up and saw the doctor watching her. Blushing, she jerked her hand down by her side. “Hello, I didn’t hear your buggy.”

“That’s because I walked. Too nice a day to ride. Mind if I sit down?” He motioned to the step beside her.

She scooted over. “No, but wouldn’t you rather go inside?”

“Naw. I saw you rubbing your middle. Got a stomachache?” “No. But my head feels ready to split,” she confessed. “I know the very thing for that.” He reached into his bag and removed a packet of headache powders. “Take these and sleep for a bit. In an hour or two, I’ll come by in my buggy and take you for a ride.”

“Could we see the fillies again?”

“Don’t see why not. I bet they’ve grown some by now.” He patted her hand, then got to his feet. “Get some rest now. Think I’ll visit Madame Jeanne, see if she can scare us up something for a picnic.”

After the doctor left and the dog had finished his business, Kate went back into the house. Fred Thomas was a wonderful man, kind, considerate. A true gentleman. She wondered why he’d never remarried.

Thinking of marriage reminded her of Tanner and his outrageous proposal, and her head pounded with a vengeance. Why couldn’t Tanner be uncomplicated like the doctor? Why did he have to be so... She shook her head and went to get a glass of water.
 

* * *

In the mountain’s dense forest, the sun had gone down an hour ago and darkness had settled into the shadows. Reluctant to call it a day before he had filled his quota, Tanner lit the lantern and kept on working. Two more trees, he vowed, then he could quit for the night. He hoisted the ax. His muscles quivered and his back throbbed, but he forced the pain away and drove the blade into the tree. He couldn’t quit even for a minute, for if he did, his muscles would become so stiff he wouldn’t be able to continue.
 

With the impossible deadline Tom Fuller had set looming ever nearer, Tanner no longer returned home at night. Instead he had set up camp in a nearby clearing. Finding it saved not only time but effort, he wished he had thought of doing it sooner. He told himself the winter weather would have made it impossible anyway. Although the nights still dropped to freezing, a canvas strung over a frame protected him from the dampness and blocked the cold wind.
 

He didn’t have to worry about cooking, since Mark or Luke brought his dinner out every night and usually stayed to chat a while before returning home. Matt, at Tanner’s insistence, stayed close to home with John.

Although the boys pleaded, begged, then demanded to help with the trees, Tanner stood firm. He could not, would not, allow them to take the risk.

He drove the ax home again and again, until the trunk was severed. He waited for the telltale crack, then leaped from the platform.

He was safely on the ground when the towering giant groaned, then with a whoosh of air crashed to the ground, showering the area with wood splinters, dust and pine needles.

Tanner nodded in satisfaction. “One more.”

“Are you trying to kill yourself?” Mark asked angrily. “I’ve been watching for the last hour, thought you’d quit when it got dark. But no, not you.” He yanked the ax from Tanner’s hands and stared at the dark stain on the handle. “Tanner, are you stupid or just plain crazy?”

“Give me back the ax, boy.” He held out his bleeding hand. “No. I won’t.” Mark stepped back, still gripping the tool. “And you haven’t got the strength to make me.”

“One more tree and I’ll quit. I promise.”

“Not one tree. Not one limb,” Mark said, backing away. “Whether you like it or not, you’re done for the night.”

Tanner took one step, staggered, then nodded his defeat. “All right, you win. Blade’s dull anyhow.” He doubted if he would have been able to cut another tree even if Mark had given him the ax. He had been driving himself, becoming more exhausted each day, and now he had little or nothing left in reserve. Maybe a good night’s rest, he thought. His stomach growled, reminding him that he hadn’t eaten since last night. Truth be known, he wouldn’t have bothered to eat now if Mark wasn’t here. He would have gone straight to his bedroll.

Mark picked up the lantern and led the way back to camp. He set the light on a stump, then lifting a kettle he’d put on to boil earlier, he poured hot water into a pan. “After you wash up, you’d better soak those hands. I stuck some of that salve Doc left us in my pack in case you had blisters. But I sure didn’t expect anything like that. Don’t you have any gloves?”

“I did. They wore out a couple of days ago. I forgot to ask you or Luke to bring any more.”

“You can have mine. They’re in my pack.”

Gritting his teeth, Tanner forced his raw flesh into the hot water. The pain made him gasp, but Mark was right. He had to soak the dirt out or they would get infected. He couldn’t afford to have that happen. When the torment subsided, he washed them thoroughly, then lifted them from the water and examined his palms. They looked like raw meat, but they were clean. After he’d dried them, Mark applied the salve and wrapped them with a fresh towel he had torn into strips.
 

“Can you eat?”
 

“Nothing wrong with my stomach.” Tanner took the tin bowl Mark handed him and began awkwardly ladling the stew into his mouth. “Good,” he said between bites. “When did you get the rabbit?”