Courting Holly (5 page)

Bryce nodded and sipped his coffee.

“I told Tiffany this morning. I realize my parents had a reason for keeping this a secret, and I am not inclined to telling the entire city, but I don’t feel it is right to keep the family in the dark.”

Bryce placed his mug on the table and cupped it with both hands. He blinked with tired eyes. His honey-brown eyes penetrated her foggy mind. Confidence and trust shone deeply into his soul. Yes, she’d picked the right person to help her wade through the confusion that overshadowed her life.

Only her mother would have been better. If only they’d been blessed with more time together....

Holly pushed the plate away. She couldn’t continue to eat. She stood and grabbed Bryce’s hand. “Come on, let’s get this over with.”

Chapter 5

B
ryce held Holly’s hand and followed her up the stairs to her room. A room he’d been in many times before. He stopped at her doorway. “I’ll wait here. You fetch the letters and we’ll read them in your father’s den.”

“I’m not concerned about my honor. You’re like my big brother.”

He wondered if she would ever see him as a possible suitor. “But I am not. Holly, let’s do this right. There is no sense in giving tongues a chance to wag for no reason or purpose. Your father’s den is appropriate and private.”

She blushed. “You are right, thank you. I shall be just a moment.” She slipped behind her bedroom door and Bryce turned to face the hallway. How many times had he run up and down these halls in the past? The second floor wrapped around the grand room with a walkway that encircled it. Each walkway had a hallway to the back of the building, where Holly’s room sat, facing east and overlooking the river below.

The door clicked open. “Here, you hold them.” She passed the two letters into his hand. He placed the yellowed envelopes in his breast pocket and without a word followed her down the hall and stairs.

He led her to the den and left the door ajar. Holly sat in the high-backed chair. He sat in the chair to her left. The room nearly mirrored that of his father’s den, with slightly different furnishing but the same layout. “Would you like me to read them out loud or do you wish to read them silently to yourself?”

“Please give me Mother’s letter first. I’ll read it out loud.”

He handed the open envelope that had Allison’s name on it and placed the other back in his pocket.

“‘Dear Allie,’” she began, her voice cracking.

“I am writing for you to understand my heart. I have decided to annul our marriage so that you can stay married to John Graham. My heart aches knowing that you believed I had died in the war. I was thoughtless in not sending you missives over the years. Perhaps one or two would have gotten through and let you know that I was still alive. I apologize. I love you with all my heart and soul.”

Holly gasped. Her hands started to shake. Bryce wanted to cuddle her in his embrace but held back.

Holly continued.

“It is because of my love for you and Holly that I am doing this. I see your love for John Graham, and I see

his love for you and Holly. I will miss you not being a part of my life, but I will miss not having the opportunity to be a part of our daughter’s life most of all.”

Holly wiped a tear from her eye then took in a deep pull of air.

“As you are well aware, I live in Tennessee. That is where our home is. I cannot take a child away from her mother so I will relinquish my rights for her sake. She calls John ‘Daddy.’ Oh how my heart ached when I heard that. I would not want to confuse her. I trust you will tell her when the time is right. She is the spitting image of you and oh so beautiful. My heart leaped in my chest just being able to embrace her for a moment.”

Holly’s voice wavered.

“I am giving you a letter to give to Holly. I may never see my daughter again in this life but I do want her to know that I love her.”

Holly’s hands were shaking so much the letter seemed to blow in the wind, but she continued.

“Please understand that if ever you need me, I will come. I will go on with my life and, if the good Lord allows, perhaps I shall find another wife. I am sorry I did not put you first. And I apologize for the pain you went through thinking I had been lost in the war. My heart aches for you, Allie. I love you and will love you forever. John is a good man, from what I’ve seen. God Bless you both.

All my love,

Emmett.”

Bryce held his breath waiting for a response from Holly. She appeared to read the letter again. He could see himself in Emmett’s shoes. He gave the impression of an honorable man, admitting failure and giving up his wife and child. But why would he move back to Tennessee? What would keep him so far away from his daughter?

Tears rolled down Holly’s cheeks. Bryce reached into his pocket and pulled out a clean handkerchief. He had come prepared with three. “Here.”

Holly turned and gazed into his eyes. “I cannot imagine giving up my family. I think I understand why but...”

Bryce reached out and held her hand. A few red strands of hair fell forward into her face. He wanted to brush them behind her ear but resisted the urge.

“I don’t understand why he would give me up. I mean, I understand not taking a child from her mother, but why didn’t he find work in Savannah, make a life here? At least be a part of my life.”

“Perhaps his letter to you explains in more detail.”

“Perhaps, but he wrote this letter to a five-year-old. I doubt he put much thought into the reasons for not staying in a letter he didn’t know when I would read.”

“True, but he did know it would be when you were older.”

“Are you certain you aren’t on his side?”

“I am not taking sides, Holly. I am thinking he had his reasons for backing away. He gave a couple of those reasons in the letter to your mother. Or perhaps those were the entirety of his reasons. We do not know. But you do have the advantage of asking him while he is here.”

Holly leaned back in the chair and closed her eyes. “A part of me would like to ask him all the questions popping up in my head. Another part of me is afraid.”

“Afraid? How so?”

“I don’t know if I can explain it, really. It is a fear, I suppose, but one that comes from this feeling of rejection I’ve been dealing with since I first learned the news. I can see from his letter his leaving us was a noble gesture, but I still feel slighted. I feel he didn’t really care about me, that if he really cared he would have stayed in Savannah.”

“That wasn’t an option,” John Graham interrupted from the doorway.

Startled, Holly turned toward the unexpected voice. “Why not?” she inquired.

John walked into the den. Behind him stood Emmett Landers. “I suppose I should answer that question.” Emmett spoke just above a whisper.

Holly simply nodded. Emmett’s large, taut frame consumed a surprising portion of the doorway, his head nearly touching the lintel. He held the wide brim of a rancher’s hat in a gentle grip between strong, heavily veined hands. Kind eyes set within a tanned face accustomed to long hours in the open air stared back at her, unflinching, beckoning....

“Allie’s biggest concern was for you, Holly.” The warmth of his voice reached a deep place within her. “You had been told your daddy died in the war. She was concerned about how you would react. Your mother had recently married, and apparently it took you six months before you called John ‘Daddy.’ She didn’t want to confuse you. If I lived here, you would be quite confused for a while about who was your father. Granted, as you got older you would have managed but...” Emmett let his words trail off. “Suffice it to say, we felt it best at the time.”

She looked to her stepfather to confirm her father’s words. John nodded.

“I never wanted to leave you, Holly, but I made my peace with this decision fifteen years ago. I understand your confusion and your feelings of rejection. I am here now and will answer any question you have, no matter how difficult. I believe it is best for us not to keep any secrets and to be open and honest about the good and the bad regarding this decision. John and I have discussed it, as well. He is in agreement.”

Holly turned to John Graham. “Are you, Father?”

“Yes, but with hesitation. Bryce, would you please leave us?”

Bryce stood. Holly grabbed hold of his wrist. “Wait. Father, I know you are a private man but Bryce is...”

“Holly, I shall stay if you wish, but you are safe with your fathers.”

“I know I am safe. I’m uncertain as to whether or not I can control my temper.”

“Holly Elizabeth! For what purpose would your temper serve at this moment?” John chastised.

Holly glared at him. Bryce wrapped her in his arms. He felt her relax. “Mr. Graham, I will not speak of anything that is said to anyone outside of this room. But I believe Holly requires some support, and for reasons I do not understand but am grateful for, she has chosen me.”

John Graham collapsed in the chair behind his desk. “Very well. I don’t cotton to having other people know our business.”

Emmett sat in the chair Bryce had been sitting in earlier. He wrung his hat in his hands. “Holly, I will answer all your questions.” His words were softly spoken and Bryce again felt her body relax even more.

“Forgive me...Fathers, but you must understand one thing about all of this. I do not know who I am. My world is in total chaos. Not only have I lost my mother but I am not who I’ve thought myself to be. I am curious how a man could leave his child.” She turned to Emmett Landers. “I know by your letter to Mother that you didn’t abandon us, but I still feel that you did.”

Emmett wrung his hat tighter. “I understand, and I cannot change the past. Your mother and I did what we thought was best at the time. Only you can accept our choices or not. Please understand I do love you. You’ve been a constant part of my daily thoughts. Which is why Lloyd Jarvis has a bundle of letters from me to you.”

“But why Tennessee?”

“It was family land and something your mother and I worked hard to acquire, and I’ve worked many long hours to bring life from it. It’s a horse and cattle ranch and has tripled in size since you and your mother left. My roots were there, not here in Savannah.”

Bryce massaged her shoulders. “I would like to say I understand but...” She paused.

“It’s too soon,” Emmett proposed. “Like I said, I’ve had this knowledge and have lived with my decision for fifteen years. I’d love to say there hasn’t been a day when I didn’t regret my decision, but that wouldn’t be the truth. There were a few days here and there, but overall I was at peace with it. Seeing the hurt in your eyes, I do have my doubts. I am sorry for the pain, daughter. It was not our intent.”

“Thank you.”

Bryce observed John Graham and how he watched Emmett and Holly. Did fear of losing Holly worry Mr. Graham?

She turned in Bryce’s arms and faced him. “Will you make a carriage ready for us?”

“At your service, my lady.” Bryce winked and left her there with her fathers.

* * *

Holly turned to the two men representing all the confusion that now defined her life. “I don’t mean to be disrespectful to either of you, but I am having a hard time with all of this.” She turned toward Emmett Landers. “I cannot say that I fully understand why you chose to do what you did. I do understand that at the moment you thought you were doing what was in my best interest.”

She turned to her stepfather. “And I understand that you and Mother wanted to wait until I was older. But I am sorry, twenty-one seems a bit old to me. I could understand sixteen, possibly as late as seventeen, after I graduated from school. But why wait until I was twenty-one?”

“It was the age when your mother and I started courting,” John whispered.

She turned back to Emmett. “How old was my mother when you and she married?”

“Seventeen. Right after she finished her schooling.”

She turned back to John. “Why would you feel I had to wait until twenty-one when my mother married Emmett at seventeen?”

“She and I both felt she was impulsive at that time. That perhaps, if she had waited a bit longer, she wouldn’t have...” His words trailed off.

“That she wouldn’t have married me?” Emmett stood. “Did you try to convince Allison that our relationship wasn’t genuine because we were young?”

“Not exactly. It doesn’t matter what Allison and I discussed.”

Holly stood. “Yes, it does, Father. However, I am not going to be a part of the two of you fighting about the past. Father Emmett...” She turned to him. “I’ll want to visit with you again after I return from my outing with Bryce.” She turned to John. “And I’ll be home when I’ve had enough time to digest everything I’ve heard and read this morning. Father, I love you but I sense there was...” Holly didn’t want to say it out loud, let alone believe, that her stepfather had had a hand in her not knowing her real father all these years.

“We did what we thought best, Holly,” John mumbled.

“So you keep saying. For what it is worth, Father Emmett, early this morning I recalled my mother calling me Holly Elizabeth Landers. I was only four at the time.” She turned back to John. “Am I a Landers or legally a Graham?”

“Legally, a Landers. Emmett wouldn’t sign the papers for me to adopt you.”

She turned to Emmett, the unspoken question hanging in the tense air.

“You are my daughter. If you could only have a small part of me, I wanted it to be my name.”

She faced John again. “And you have led me to believe I was a Graham all this time, knowing my name was Landers?”

John looked down at his lap. “Yes. Perhaps that was wrong of me but...”

Holly held up her hand. “You say you were doing what you thought was best for me. Did it not even occur to you that everyone who attended your wedding knew Mother had been married once before, and that I was there as living proof?”

He gave no reaction.

“I don’t understand the secrecy. Why? The entire city knows. Everyone knew except the one person it actually mattered to—me. I did not know. Does that not seem even vaguely unfair to you?”

“I’m sorry, Holly. We...” This time he held back from saying the line that blazed in her memory.

We did what we thought best.

She let out a deep sigh. “Bryce and I will be home around dinnertime. Don’t wait on us. Bryce said an old college friend was in the area. Perhaps we’ll go out to dinner with him. It is certainly time for some distraction of a sort. My head is spinning.”

Emmett extended his hand, palm up. Holly placed hers inside his. “All of us wanted what was best. I understand your confusion, Holly. Please know that everyone involved thought of you first. Perhaps we made some mistakes, but our intentions were in the right place.” He gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

“I know. If you do not mind, we will stop by Mr. Jarvis’s office and pick up the other letters.”

A smile raised on Emmett’s face that brought a sparkle to his blue eyes. “I’d like that.”