Courted by Karma (The Adventures of Anabel Axelrod) (18 page)

“Nice try. They’ll be asleep for hours yet.” He chuckled darkly and his eyelids lowered. “Now, either you get back here and give me a good reason not to go, Anabel, or I’ll be heading down to the Goodbye Blue Monday café.”

Picking up my stuff, I opened the apartment door. “Sexual blackmail, Luke?” Glancing back over my shoulder at the lounging, bold-nosed man on the bench, I laughed softly and wiggled. “Another first; I love it!” I blew him a kiss. “Thank you, our night was incredible. Have a nice breakfast.”

Climbing the stairs with aching slowness while uncapping my hot coffee, I mused that Luke’s black frown
was worth temporarily giving up my second co-ed shower. Well, maybe it was a tie.

I may be enslaved by the man’s pheromones and phenomenal abilities, but a girl
shouldn’t always be available.

Besides, I really value
d my alone time.

Chapter VII

“Crazy Little Thing Called Love” by Queen

Wednesday, 11/21/12

8:
15 AM

By the top stair, half my
coffee was gulped down. In the foyer, I threw all my stuff down on the church pew and threw a warm mini-quiche in my mouth. Blissfully chomping away on Anna’s delicious bacon and egg pastry, I started my morning ritual of opening all the shutters. In the living room, I glanced out of one of the tall windows fronting Division Street. Directly below me on the sidewalk, I could see Luke and Jack standing near the front door of Bel’s. They are having an animated conversation. Jack’s finger is making sharp, stabbing motions, as if to prove a point.

There’s a proverb
out there that says eavesdroppers never hear any good of themselves.

This may be true if you are a sneaky, little snoop by nature. Who likes
these types of untrustworthy, prying women?

I totally agree, nobody does.

I prefer Proverbs 24:5, the Aramaic Bible in Plain English, 2010 edition. Although, any version of this proverb supports my current position, which is calmly monitoring their discussion from the master intercom station because knowledge
is
power.

The reception
is pristine and Chief Jack is speaking when I clicked in to listen.

Luckily,
Jack’s voice is always on the booming side, “…is closed. We already knew Cheryl had talked to this married guy from Lonsdale twice on her phone within the hour before her death. He’d told us on the last call, Cheryl reported she was going to be late meeting up with him because she was checking out a property this nice, old lady had offered to let her stay at for practically nothing. Then the sword stick was a definite match to the wound. Good call there.”

Luke’s voice
is quieter, but I could hear him clearly since he is closest to the outside intercom box mounted on the wall. “Huh, interesting. That woman liked to fuck around. Crookie seems like a good guy, too, the poor schmuck.”

“
Yeah, Bob’s intelligent, I’ll give him that. He’s one of your nerd types with brains coming out of his asshole and more money than God, but not much practical experience with the females.” I heard Jack make a dismissive noise. “A man has to be short a brick to actually marry a woman like Cheryl Crookston.” Jack’s tone didn’t encourage more discussion. I made a face, hoping he was squirming inside.

“
I hear you, man. Met that kind of chick myself once or twice through the years,” Luke agreed, and the men shared a cocky snicker while I rolled my eyes. “Anything new on Ron Hansen’s case?”

“
Nothing yet. Hansen’s ass is parked in jail and he’s not talking. The word is out at County that I’m looking for anything anyone has to say about Hansen. I want to be damn sure Hansen doesn’t have any other mental midgets in his back pocket like that fucker Hammerschmidt.” Hearing the grim determination in Jack’s tone, I’m grateful to know he’s following up personally on Ron Hansen. The thought hadn’t crossed my mind there could be any other Hammers out there doing Hansen’s bidding. Larissa’s ex seemed like a low-life weasel to me, not a man to inspire a devoted cult following. But then again, I’m not much of a joiner.

Luke’s next words made me stand up straight
er. “Are you heading up to get things squared with Anabel?”

I
easily heard Jack’s loud sigh. “I’m fucked.”

Luke answering
chuckle was full of sympathy. “That you are, you dumb bastard. She only wants to be treated with some respect by you. Would it kill you to share info with her concerning her life?”

I held my breath in anticipation of Jack’s response. His
laughter had a nasty edge to it when he retorted, “You’re the dumb bastard if you’re falling for that line from our little She-Devil.” My blood pressure started rising, but I bit my cheek to keep from yelling at him through the intercom when he said, “Listen, that girl’s had men jumping through her hoops her whole life. No shit, since grade school.” ‘
Ha! Try pre-school, Chief Bigmouth
.’ “You’ve got any gray matter in that head like I think you do, or are you just a peckerhead? Use your brains, son! You’ve seen how she has to just smile, or say something lippy, or wiggle her ass and men fall all over her…”

My mouth dropped open.
‘Unfair! I do NOT wiggle my ass at men like some brainless flirt! I can’t help how I walk.’

“
…
Are you going to be just another asshole guy she walks all over? Then she’ll say,” Jack’s voice rose in a mimicking falsetto, “oh, he was so boring!” before she goes on to the next poor guy, and then the next.”

‘
Geesh, it’s not like I’m the ADHD town whore! It’s not my fault most men are boring,’
I scoffed at Jack while sniggering in my head.

“
Or are you going to take some advice from old Jack here and keep showing her who’s the boss from the get go?”

‘
I’ll be showing old Jack who the boss is…”
I promised silently while flashing double middle-finger salutes at the intercom
.

I’d give anything to see Luke’s expression right now. Was he ferociously smiling at Jack like he is going to tear him apart? Or coolly giving him the detached stare and the tight mouth, or maybe even the cruel lips and the fierce frown? I hoped my Hero offers him head or gut.

“So
, Jack, what are you proposing we do?”

I
leaned on the wall and tried not to choke on the last swallow of the quiche. It is now thick as paste in my throat at Luke’s all too familiar words. The words that he had just spoken to me in the lobby. The words that made me feel special, as if Luke and I had reached a new level of understanding

‘
My Hero was simply “handling” me down in the lobby when he said this to me? These are the words he uses to “deal” with every problem in his life?’

Because
it was plain to my ears, as I listened to ‘our special’ words coming from Luke’s mouth in regards to Jack, that Luke is handling the chief. There is a note of reserve in Luke’s response at Jack’s sneering words, but also the determination to deal with someone difficult.

‘
Does this mean Luke finds me as difficult to get along with as Chief Jack?’
The accountant’s practical voice promptly replied,
‘You did just stomp around down there while swearing and giving every man the evil-eye.’

This was true, but they all deserved it
! Still, am I so bad that Luke needs a proposal on how to deal with me from Jack Banner, the butthead bachelor who never has relationships?

I can hardly believe my ears, either.

“Christ Almighty, what I’m proposing is that you quit kowtowing to her. I admit Sunday was a fuck up. I’m planning on firing a cop over it, so don’t believe for one goddamn minute I don’t know how serious it was.” I winced at hearing that a cop was losing his job. “Last I checked, though, Junior’s not one of my cops. I don’t have to share crap with her. If she wants to pout and be mad, that’s her problem. She’s a civilian—end of story.”

Lu
ke’s voice was so quiet now I had to hold my breath to hear. I plastered my ear to the intercom. “We seem to be getting our wires crossed here, Chief. The issue on the table is about holding back information these past few days from Anabel. We had intel on situations Anabel was personally involved in that turned dangerous. I don’t see it as her getting men jumping through hoops or pouting.” Luke’s voice had grown emphatic. “She’s not on the rag or being a brat. She saved herself when most people would have been killed. She did it because she’s smart as a whip and she’s got guts.” He chuckled. “Shit, I’m not saying you should share general police business with her or anything crazy like that. That
would
be insane. You’d be out of a job in no time and she’d be running this town.” I heard deep, masculine hardy-har-hars and rolled my eyes, but I’m smiling at Luke’s words in my defense. “I’m saying we treat her as the valuable, civilian resource she is, or we’re the idiots.” My Hero paused and then spoke matter-of-factly, “I don’t know what your relationship’s been like in the past, but you keep this up, Jack, and you will be the one losing Anabel over this issue.”

Nodding my head at everything Luke
is saying, my grin faltered at the next thought,
‘Holy Hannah, this man wasn’t kidding. He really does know me.’

The intercom hummed quietly for so long, I made a move to turn it off when Jack spoke again in a subdued
, gruff voice, “You’re really serious aren’t you, Drake? Okay then, I’ll take what you said under advisement.” His voice went louder, “Now, what about what I said on how to play your cards right with Junior? I’ve had a ringside seat for years and it’s been a circus.” Then Jack snickered, “But I’ve got to hand it to you, getting her to come to your farm last night was a first and I’m impressed.”

The need to reach through the intercom and strangle Jack warred with my distracted, bewildered amazement.
‘Are my sex life habits really that much of an interest to everyone who knows me in this Godforsaken town, or is Jack really that expert at observation from being a cop for years?’
I can only shake my head and hope it’s the latter.

Luke
laughed shortly. Hearing that familiar sound, I don’t need to see his expression to know exactly how he looks right now.

“The day I need advice on how to
play my cards rights with a woman, you’ll be the last man I call.”

Jack grunted
out in amusement, “You arrogant prick, go off to breakfast and grill that shirtless homo that broke Anabel’s heart ten years ago. Find out what the asshole’s up to while I take care of business here.”

“Found your balls, did you?”
Silently, I laughed grimly right along with Luke.

I
can perfectly picture Jack Banner’s expression when I serve him his lunch. We’ll see how smug Jack is when his big homophobic, misogynistic balls are on a platter, with a side of his own blood for dipping.

“Yeah, I’m girding my loins as we speak
,” was the dry reply. My front door buzzer went off; interrupting my pleasant retribution daydreams and making me jump sky high.

I had
no time to really consider the ramifications of the conversation I’d so shamelessly, but so successfully, eavesdropped on. I didn’t like Jack talking about my past to Luke. It was puzzling why he seemed to be encouraging Luke to pursue a relationship with me. It should be plain to him that Luke wasn’t interested in relationships, any more than I was.

Dashing
over to the hall closet, I found a hoodie to throw on so my breasts weren’t sticking in Jack’s face and rendering him a worse idiot. I grabbed another quiche tartlet from the bag on the way back to buzz Jack up. This one smelled like rosemary and sun-dried tomato.

Catching
a glimpse of me in the mirror propped in the foyer, I stopped and almost spit out the food in my mouth. I looked like death warmed over. I actually have circles under my eyes! My hair is a snarled, frizzy mess, my skin could use a good dose of moisturizer from the whisker burn, and my feet are dirty. Turning my head to perform a pit stop check, I didn’t smell so good either. I had worked up a nervous sweat kicking Not-So-Immaculata’s ass.

I downed the rest of my coffee as the
apartment door squealed open.

Jack
bellowed up the stairs, “Anabel, we need to talk!’

I ran to
the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water, guzzling it down as I met Jack back in the living room.

Jack
looked me over and recoiled in mock horror. He snickered, “Having a hard time keeping up with a real man, eh, Junior? You are never going to hold onto a man like Luke if you don’t take better care of yourself.”

“
Why, you are the sweetest little matchmaker. Just another altruistic community outreach program you’ve started, Chief?” Laughing, I plopped on the couch. “What brings you here today?” I added with a straight face and innocent eyes, “Feeling a little jumpy?”

From long habit,
Jack eyed me with suspicion, but his heart clearly wasn’t in it. His thoughts were elsewhere and his expression was darkly moody. His lower lip was sticking out. He looked down to avoid my inquiring gaze and moved restlessly. In shocked amusement, I realized the Chief is actually shuffling his big cop’s feet. His ruddy cheeks got ruddier and he looked everywhere except my face.