Courageous (26 page)

I know how wrong I’ve been. I’m ashamed of myself. I’ve asked God to forgive me. I’m writing this letter to tell you that I’ve decided to stop running.

If you are willing, I’d like to meet with you and begin the process of rebuilding your trust. In time and with your permission, I hope to meet Olivia and let her know that she has a father who cares about her.

I have no other expectations. I only ask for a chance to be a part of Olivia’s life. I will wait for your response.

Until then, I’ll pray for you and Olivia. I have enclosed a symbol of my commitment to help with her care.

Sincerely,

David Thomson

He printed the letter, signed it, addressed the envelope, and enclosed a check.

“Okay, God,” he said softly. “Do whatever You want to do. I’m ready.”

Amanda walked to the house and sat at her faded Formica kitchen table. Filled with curiosity and fear and a hope so distant she didn’t recognize it as such, she read the letter. The check was for $500. She stared at it.

There must be some mistake.

She watched as Olivia played with her toys on the old coffee table. Amanda read the letter again.

What does this mean?

Adam knocked, then opened Dylan’s door. “Hey, Son. What are you doing?”

“Just playing a video game.”

“Got a question for you. Have you ever seen a movie called
Chariots of Fire
?”

“Don’t think so.”

“Well, it got the Oscar for best picture in 1981.”

“What’s it about?”

“Runners. And the Olympics. And a lot more. I picked up the DVD today. Want to watch it with me tomorrow night? Popcorn, Doritos, drinks are on me.”

Dylan nodded, looking skeptical but polite.

“Okay, Son, so tell me about the video game you’re playing.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s something that interests my son. So I want to learn about it.”

An hour later, Dylan had taught his dad about preferred armament, ranged and melee attacks, “weapons-grenades-melee,” hit points, recharging energy shields, and dual wielding. Adam tried the game, which caused both of them to laugh. But he picked it up quickly.

Adam told Dylan that some of it was like what he did as a cop on the firing range. Dylan seemed interested. Adam invited him to come and watch him at the range. Dylan said he’d like to.

Wow. I’ll put in a request tomorrow.

Fifteen minutes after leaving Dylan’s room, Adam sat in the living room reading. Dylan approached him, holding out a paper bag.

“That’s all of it,” Dylan said.

“All of what?” Adam opened the bag and found a small bong and some marijuana.

“I had another hiding place,” Dylan said. “I haven’t touched it since you found the other bag. But I figured I should give you the rest of it.”

Kayla sat down with Nathan after the kids were in bed.

“At the center today, I counseled a girl from Albany High. She’s Jade’s age. Gave her the pregnancy test. She wanted to fail, but it was positive. I’m glad she came in, but, Nathan, I don’t know what goes through these kids’ minds. They don’t think about consequences.”

“Will she have the baby?”

“At first she said no. Just came for the free test, but if pregnant, her plan was abortion. We barely talked her into an ultrasound. When she saw it, the girl said, ‘They told me it wasn’t a baby. But look!’ Once she saw the baby, she couldn’t believe the lie. One of the staff is following up to help her decide whether she’ll raise the child or place him for adoption. Nathan, I keep thinking, if only I’d gone to a center like ours nineteen years ago . . .” Kayla wiped her eyes.

Nathan hugged her, tight and long.

“It’s tough out there,” Kayla said.

“And the toughest part is, we’ve got to send our kids out into that world. Jade’s not ready.”

“We do our best.”

“Do we? I don’t know. But I meant what I said in the Resolution. I won’t be a passive dad. Jade may not like it. Sometimes you might not like it. But I’ve got to be God’s man and lead this family. I’ll make mistakes, but I refuse to do nothing.”

“Sometimes doing nothing is wise.”

“Sometimes. But when that gangster drove off with Jackson, doing nothing might have cost us our son. And right now, Jade’s heart is in danger of being stolen by a young man. And I don’t care if that boy’s an honor student or the Prince of Wales, I need to take hold of the wheel.”

Kayla frowned. “You know I agreed with you about Derrick when he first dropped by. I was ready to write him off. But Jade told me that wasn’t fair. I think she’s right. I mean, he looks like a responsible young man, honor student, no police record, and they just want permission to hang out together with other kids there. It’s not a one-on-one date.”

Nathan shook his head. “It might not start one-on-one, but it would go there. I’m convinced it would be a mistake to let this go further. I think I should take the lead on this.”

“Are you saying I should stay out of it?”

“No. I just think if God has made me responsible for this family, He’s given me the authority to lead it. And, Kayla, I know young men, what’s inside of them, way better than you do. The question is, do you really want me to lead? Because when I do, it means sometimes I’ll lead us where you may not want to go.”

Kayla shook her head. “I’m not so sure about all this. I think of myself as your equal.”

“So do I. Always. You have equal value, equal wisdom, and far greater beauty and charm. In a lot of ways, you’re smarter than I am. But remember, the leader answers to God. It’s not an easy job.”

Kayla gazed at him. “Well, I will say this. I
liked
that part about beauty and charm. Sometimes, Nathan Hayes, you have exceptional insights!
Sometimes.
”

“Yo, TJ, what’s poppin’?”

TJ shook his head in disgust at Chewy, who’d been his most promising Gangster Nation soldier only a year ago. “You wasted, dawg. Where your teeth go? Why they let you in here?”

“Heard 5-0 collared Big Leon. It really take four 5-0s with Tasers to put him down?”

“Stop actin’ like you still a player, man. You nothin’.”

TJ looked Chewy up and down. Chewy used to be ripped. For a while he’d worked out with TJ, Antoine, and Leon. Now he looked pathetic. “You stink, sucka.”

“Gotta have the rock, TJ.”

“You gotta
pay
for the rock. Why you comin’ to me? I sell to ballers, not junkies.”

“I all cashed out, brah. You said you’d always take care of me.”

“Only when you took care of me. You was one fine delivery boy, but you got bit by the product.”

“Can’t help it, man.”

“Don’t come whinin’ to me. You ain’t got no more bones.”

“Need a place to crash, man.”

“Go to your own crib.”

“Mama kicked me out. Locks the doors. Sisters won’t let me in either.”

“’Cause you been stealin’ from ’em, lyin’, and cheatin’, huh, tiny? You deebo yo mama’s credit card?”

“How you know that?”

“It’s what the rock does. It’s da masta; you da slave. Price you pay. If people not payin’ the price, TJ wouldn’t be makin’ the bank. You can’t handle the big stuff, you shoulda just stuck with hood scratch, man.”

“I keep crashin’, man. Goin’ through the jonesin’. Bugs crawlin’ under my skin. Big ones. Freakin’ me.”

“You a sorry fool. Look at you, all raggedy and geeked up.”

“Scared of everything now, TJ. Tired, man, so tired. They’re comin’ after me.”

“Who’s comin’ after you, fool?”

Chewy hadn’t stood still since he’d arrived. Now his fidgets and twitches became spasms. His hands moved constantly, scratching at his face and arms one moment and reaching out the next in shaky gesticulations as if to ward off something unseen.

“Spirits. With big mouths. Sharp teeth. They tryin’ to swallow me up. Help me, TJ!”

“One day them demons with the big mouths and sharp teeth?” TJ grabbed a clump of Chewy’s sparse hair and pulled him close. “They gonna eat yo flesh and pick their teeth with yo bones. Whachu think about that?”

“No! No! Help me, man! Please help me.”

TJ threw him to the ground. “Time for you to bounce, fool!” TJ gestured to Antoine. “Take out the trash.”

Emily stood on the lawn by the driver’s side door of his truck. She held out her hand to her father.

“Daddy, come dance with me.”

Adam wanted to follow her lead, but his arms were frozen.

“Please, Daddy! Just for this song. Come dance with me.”

“Corporal Mitchell. Hey, Mitchell!”

Sergeant Murphy?

Adam found himself in the muster room; the other officers stared.

“I’m sorry. I . . . uh . . .”

Brad Bronson looked away, embarrassed for Adam. But Adam was embarrassed enough. He didn’t need any help.

Murphy continued, “With the three arrested yesterday, that’s sixty burglary suspects we’ve rounded up this month. Yesterday at McKinley Street, we arrested three suspects affiliated with the Gangster Nation. We confiscated a load of handgun ammo, shotgun shells, and two assault knives with nine-inch blades.”