Courage in the Kiss (17 page)

Ten minutes later, they were all sitting around the dining room table, enjoying the meal Hadley had worked so hard on.

Emerson was sitting comfortably in his usual seat at the head of the table, with Maxx on his left and Hadley on his right, as usual.

Hadley had decided that life was too short to hold a grudge, so she was going to treat him better than he treated her.

Maxx, it seemed, hadn’t made the same choice. He was silent and brooding during dinner, letting Micah and Rowan do all the talking. It had been a long time since they’d sat around like this, enjoying a finely cooked meal, without any mishaps. But she knew it couldn’t last.

Micah had taken his usual seat next to Maxx, with Rowan across the table from him. They chatted away quite amicably, talking about the football game and discussing tactics. It allowed Hadley the pleasure of sitting back and enjoying a rare moment of peace and quiet, without having to be the one carrying the conversation.

“Oh, Micah,” Maxx piped up, during a lull in conversation. “Remind me to dig out those comics after dinner. I have to leave first thing in the morning, so I won’t have another chance for a while,” he admitted, finally bringing up the most critical of topics.

Hadley’s heart stuttered in sadness, to hear that he had to leave so quickly. He was supposed to be home for at least six weeks. They should have been six weeks of unadulterated bliss, but now they wouldn’t even get six days.

“Right.” Micah nodded, though he looked deflated. “Maybe we can leave them until you get back? I mean, if you have time, I’d like to go through them with you,” he admitted, quietly.

She knew what that meant; he’d been as hopeful as she was that sorting through the comics would allow Micah and Maxx to reconnect.

“Sounds like a plan, kiddo,” Maxx agreed with a smile and a wink in her direction.

Hadley pushed the food around her plate, planning what to do with herself while Maxx was gone. She’d need to think logically about how to spend her time and keep herself from pining after him every minute of the day.

First off, she’d have to properly clean the house. Then she’d have to go through her art room, to clean it and better organise her paints. It was pointless having an entire room for her art work and keeping half of her paints in the study.

“Hadley,” Maxx’s voice surprised her, making her look up to find him staring at her. “Are you alright?” he asked, with a pointed look.

They were on opposite sides of the table, with Emerson between them, so there wasn’t much they could say to each other. Attempting to make her feelings clear, she explained what she’d been thinking.

“I was just thinking about how much I have left to do,” she admitted, realising that her to do list was longer than she’d realised. “I’ve barely had time to catch up on anything since the party, so I really want to get back on track,” she confessed.

“Don’t overdo it,” Maxx advised, once again giving a warning look that suggested he wanted this chat to be private. “And don’t let Dad bully you,” he said, right out there in the open.

Hadley flushed and glanced Emerson’s way, but he was too busy talking to Micah about his school work to notice. She gave Maxx a nod and left it at that. There wasn’t really much she could say about it.

By keeping their ‘relationship’ a secret, their chance to talk, to plan and to discuss these last minute situations that crept up, was severely limited. From now on, it would be clandestine conversations, kisses and caresses, whenever no one else was around.

It was going to be torture.

A phone call after dinner stole the night from them.

Maxx walked into the kitchen, as Hadley washed the dinner dishes, looking solemn and frustrated. He closed the door and shoved one of the breakfast table chairs under the handle in a makeshift lock.

“Had,” he said, advancing on her and slipping his hands over her hips. “Baby, I can’t wait until morning anymore. That was another phone call, with an investor freaking out over the rumours. If I leave tonight, I can fly down to London and call a board meeting to settle it,” he explained.

It made sense; London was the base for the company, where Emerson had lived when he first started it.

Hadley leaned back into his arms, thinking about what that meant. They wouldn’t have tonight together as one last memory for her to cherish. Maxx would leave and could do whatever and whoever he wanted, while he was gone, without her ever having to know. Without her ever having the right to know about it.

Sometimes she wished that the company had been started after Emerson moved his family all the way up here to Edinburgh. Maybe then Maxx wouldn’t have to leave so much, or have to leave so many hours earlier than necessary just to get there in time.

“Are you going to be okay, dealing with Dad by yourself?” Maxx asked, his hand slipping beneath her shirt to gently caress her stomach. “Micah won’t be any help. He says that Gracie girl agreed to go out with him, so he and Rowan will barely be home to buffer the old codger.”

Hadley laughed at the thought. Micah was a gentle soul and unlikely to interfere in an argument between her and Emerson, even if he was home.

“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” she reassured him, smiling as he dropped a kiss onto her neck. “Are
you
going to be alright? All that stress, agitated businessmen to placate, and no one there to ease the burden,” she admitted, wondering if he’d admit to seeking out another girl to take her place. Because she had to face facts; she was nothing more than a bed warmer, a pair of kissable lips and a warm body to offer comfort when he was lonely.

Maxx chuckled and nipped her earlobe, as though he was more amused than insulted by her question. “Baby, I meant what I said. I don’t mix business with pleasure. When I’m working, nothing distracts me. Not even you,” he said, whispering the last three words, as though she was a temptation he could barely refuse.

She wondered what would happen if that were the case. If she appeared at his hotel room one night over the next week, in fancy underwear, ready to give him what he needed most, would he push his business aside to spend the night with her?

Hadley discreetly arched her back and dipped her head into the crook of his shoulder. The movement seemed to do the trick, as Maxx moaned and his hand drifted up the inside of her shirt to cup her right breast.

He pushed his hips toward her, gently rubbing his crotch against her ass until she felt his arousal for herself. “You’re such a tease.” He growled playfully, while his fingers found her nipple beneath her bra. He rubbed the lace over the sensitive skin, causing tingles of pleasure that made her breathless. “God, I’m going to miss you,” he admitted, brushing himself against her hip as he half turned her.

Before she could speak, Maxx kissed her mouth and used his free hand to grasp her hair.

Rattling at the door broke them apart.

Maxx broke the kiss and removed his hand from Hadley’s breast with reluctance. She could tell from his big blue eyes that moving away was the last thing he wanted to do. It was the last thing she wanted, but there was no choice involved.

Hadley let him walk away and remove the chair from beneath the door handle. She made sure her clothes were intact and returned her hands to the water to finish the dishes.

“Hang on, the doorstop got stuck,” Maxx lied, calling through the door to explain why it was blocked. When he finally opened it, Micah stood on the other side.

“Sorry to bug you,” he said, somewhat sheepishly. “Dad has some paperwork he wants to go over with you before you leave,” he explained. He looked guilty, for no reason that Hadley could fathom, as she watched him over her shoulder.

“Right.” Maxx nodded and let out a sigh, before looking her way. “Remember what I told you,” he said, quietly.

Hadley nodded, though she wasn’t quite sure
which
part she was supposed to remember. To not let Emerson bully her, to not overdo it, to remember that he didn’t mix business with pleasure, or to remember that he would miss her?

As he left, Micah lingered and eyed her carefully.

“Well? Out with it,” she urged, removing her hands from the water to dry them. It seemed Micah had something on his mind and it was best discussing it now, before they were interrupted.

“What’s going on with you and Maxx?” he asked, venturing over to a seat at the breakfast table to settle for a minute or two.

Hadley thought about how to explain and
what
to say. She didn’t want to break her promise to Maxx, to keep the extent of their relationship a secret, but she didn’t want to lie to Micah, either. Taking the seat opposite him, she folded her hands on the table, stalling for time.

“We haven’t had much time to talk,” Micah admitted, beating her to it. “But I think it’s got something to do with me walking in on him kissing you?” he guessed with a nervous, unsure smile.

She laughed and thought about what he’d said. Yes, she could cover up the truth by hinting that there was chemistry between her and Maxx, finally. But she could also skirt the line between the truth and a lie.

“What I can tell you,” she began diplomatically, “is that Maxx was...pleased...with my refusal to be adopted. That’s sort of why he kissed me. He also had a little inspiration from some of the more amorous men at the business party,” she hinted, refusing to go into detail about that.

Those memories were hers alone.

“So,” Micah encouraged, with an expectant stare and a grin. “What happened other than one brief kiss?”

“Who said anything else happened?” Hadley wondered, trying to keep a straight face and not fall into recollections of the many ‘moments’ she’d had with Maxx so far.

“Seriously, Had.” Micah shook his head and threw his hands up. “He kisses you and suddenly there are locked doors, looks across the room, and weird conversations that don’t make sense. Something happened,” he pointed out.

That look made it clear that he wasn’t going to back down any time soon. He wanted the truth, and Hadley wasn’t sure she could give it to him.

“Hadley.”

She looked up, surprised by the strong sound of Maxx’s voice from the doorway. He flashed that stunning smile and dug his hands into his trouser pockets. “Is everything alright?” she wondered, curious as to why he’d come back, just in time to hear Micah quizzing her about their ‘fling’.

“It’s alright, baby. You can tell him,” he said, leaning to the side, against the door frame. “First, can you make Dad a cup of tea? One of your special ones? He says he’s getting a headache. It might be from all the tests this morning,” he explained.

Hadley blushed at the use of the pet name he’d given her, being used so openly in front of Micah. Maxx didn’t seem to care; he simply stood there, waiting for her reaction, while Micah gaped at them both.

“Um…” She shook herself out of her stupor and rose from her seat. “Of course. I’ll bring it through when it’s done. And maybe some biscuits. He might not have eaten much today,” she continued, realising she’d never asked Emerson if he’d had breakfast or lunch at the hospital. If he’d been undergoing tests, he might not have been allowed to eat before getting some of them.

“Sure thing, gorgeous.” Maxx saluted his brother and left, leaving a wake of questions and confusion behind.

“Hadley!” Micah gasped in shock.

“Just…” She stalled, from pure surprise, and made her way to the kettle. “Let me make this first and I’ll try to explain,” she promised. Though the emphasis was on ‘try’. Whether he understood what she had to say was another matter altogether.

For the next few minutes, she bustled around the room, making her special peppermint tea and gathering some ginger biscuits, in the hope that they’d give Emerson’s system a boost.

Once that was done, she took it through to the living room, where Maxx and Emerson talked over some papers. She tried hard not to notice the glance Maxx gave her and slight curve of his lips, before she left.

Hadley wasn’t sure what was worse; having to ignore that sly look from Maxx or returning to the kitchen, to find Micah waiting for an explanation of their relationship. “Where’s Rowan?” she asked as she took her seat and tried to divert the conversation.

“He got a text from his mum. He had to go home,” Micah replied briefly, before raising an eyebrow at her. “Did Maxx seriously just call you ‘baby’?” he asked, with a grin.

“He did,” she confessed, feeling her cheeks flush with heat. “Actually, there’s something I have to tell you, and I need you to let me explain before you react,” she asked, well aware of how unhappy he’d be about what she had to say.

When he nodded, she went on, hoping not to make it sound too awful. It was, after all, almost what she’d wanted for a half dozen years.

“Maxx and I are...not together,” Hadley explained, getting that fact clear from the start. She had to pretend she couldn’t see the look of deflated confusion radiating from him, if she was going to get through this conversation in one piece. “The night of the party, we kissed and...ended up in bed together. Maxx needs me, but he’s not ready for any kind of solid relationship,” she continued, cautiously.

She didn’t want to make this sound like it was Maxx’s fault or suggest anything untoward. They were in this together, both aware of what they were doing and what it meant. All she had to do was make that clear to Micah.

“So...you’re not dating or...anything else?” Micah asked in disappointment.

Hadley shook her head and watched him, not sure what ‘anything else’ meant. “I get to be with him and he gets to be with me. That’s it, in a nut shell. We’ve both wanted each other for years, just in slightly different ways,” she confessed, thoughtfully. That sounded right; it sounded fair and made sense.

“You mean,” he stalled and shook his head, “he gets to screw you, and you get to be with the guy you love, for a little while?” he asked, harshly.

“Micah, if you say anything of that sort again, I swear I’ll never speak another word to you in your life,” Hadley warned him. She refused to be labelled a ‘fuck’ or ‘screw’ that could be discarded. Although she’d worried about what Maxx wanted, initially, she knew she was more than that. All she had to do was convince him of that, and it was hardly impossible. All she needed was a little more time.

“Sorry,” Micah grumbled to himself, before planting his head on his hand. “So you’re not together, but you
are
sleeping together. Is this permanent or will that change?” he wondered.

Hadley let out a sigh and wondered the same thing herself. Just what the hell was going to happen to them once Maxx got back from this trip? And how long would this ‘fling’ last?

“I don’t know.”

Micah nodded and made a face. “Well, I don’t know how you feel about this, but I need chocolate and ice cream if I’m going to swallow this without choking,” he claimed in disapproval.

She couldn’t help but laugh, as she got up from her seat and walked around to Micah’s. “I love you, kiddo. And I feel exactly the same,” she promised.