County Line (33 page)

“What’s happened?”

“We’ll talk in my office.”

The hallway had begun to empty. First period bell rang. She followed a step behind Unger to the school office. Mrs. Parmelee waited inside. She gave Ruby Jane a tight, nervous smile and followed Unger around the counter into his office. Mister Unger gestured, and Ruby Jane sat in one of the chairs in front of his desk. Mrs. Parmelee took the chair beside her. She nodded to Unger. “Give us a few minutes.”

“I’ll be right outside.”

Where were you when you found out?

“What’s going on?”

“Ruby, I have bad news.”

“Jimmie—?”

“Gabi Schilling has died.” A tear hung at the corner of Mrs. Parmelee’s eye, a glistening sphere. “I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t understand.” It was a stupid thing to say. She understood perfectly. Mrs. Parmelee couldn’t have been more clear. Her words weren’t a metaphor, weren’t an equivocation. A simple statement of fact.

Gabi Schilling has died
.

“It happened late Saturday night. Her grandparents were asleep. She committed … her wrists …”

Ruby Jane closed her eyes. She could hear a ticking like a clock in an old movie and muffled voices from the outer office. Someone laughed, but the sound abruptly cut off. Gabi cut her wrists. She went home from the banquet, rejected by her only friend. She waited until her stern Baptist grandparents were asleep, and then she bled her broken heart dry.

“Ruby, honey, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s my fault.”

“No, Ruby. Don’t say that.”

“I killed her.”

She felt Mrs. Parmelee’s hand on her back. “Honey, no—”

“You don’t understand.” She opened her eyes, pulled away from Mrs. Parmelee’s touch. “We were at the banquet. She wanted someone to love her. But I got scared, or freaked out, and then Clarice—” Her breath caught in her throat. “Gabi ran away. And instead of following her, I stayed behind with Clarice. God. Damn. Clarice. I abandoned Gabi when she really needed me. I went to the Pizza Palace and found Huck and he took me home and I had sex with him. My friend was alone and dying and I was fucking Finn Nielson because I didn’t want anyone to think I was a dyke.”

“Ruby, please. Listen to me. This isn’t your fault.”

“I’m her friend. That’s supposed to mean something.”

“Please, this is too hard as it is—”

“No. It’s not nearly hard enough.” Ruby Jane jumped to her feet. Mrs. Parmelee reached out and tried to stop her, but she threw off the hand and rushed through the door. Mister Unger stood next to the secretary’s desk, the PA microphone in his hand. Announcements time. He wasn’t announcing. He was looking at her, eyes wet, mouth round. “Ruby, wait.” She didn’t wait. She rounded the counter, almost plowed through a terrified frosh girl.

“Ruby—!”

In the corridor, she imagined the ball in her hands. Dribble, bounce pass drill, take the feed, shoot. Over and over. A few kids lingered, aware the day was a different kind of day, almost a holiday. It didn’t matter if they’d ever known Gabi, if they’d ever spoken to her. All bets were off. “Why weren’t you in class?”
Oh, you know. Dead girl
.

She found Clarice in the gym, an impromptu team meeting. Ashley, Moira, the others were gathered under the east basket. No sign of Coach. At her appearance, everyone grew quiet. Moira wore street shoes. She began tapping one heel, clicks echoing in the open space. Clarice turned, the corner of her lip tilted up.

“Poor, sad Ruby Jane Whittaker. Her girlfriend is dead—”

Ruby Jane was screaming when they pulled her off the bleeding Clarice and dragged her into the locker room.

An hour later, as she sat alone in the athletics office, Coach came in. He stood at parade rest, three paces from where Ruby Jane sat. His whistle hung suspended in the center of his chest.

“Whittaker, look at me.”

Ruby Jane gazed at her hands instead. She hadn’t washed. The gritty tack of Clarice’s blood on her fingers calmed her.

“We’ve made our decision. You’re suspended from school for one week. You are also suspended from the basketball team for a minimum of seven games, reinstatement contingent upon you making appropriate amends and demonstrating you are fit to be part of the team.”

Even without her—and Gabi—they figured to go at least 4-3, and possibly 5-2 in the early season next year. She’d return in plenty of time to help the team make the tournament. As for her reinstatement, the only thing she’d have to demonstrate was a continued ability to drain threes and keep the double team off Clarice.

“How many games is Clarice suspended?”

“Clarice is not the one who struck her teammate—”

“No. She’s the one who drove Gabi to open her wrists.”

“That is way out of line, young lady.”

“Gabi is dead. Clarice is a cancer. But somehow I’m the one who’s out of line.”

“I know you and Gabi were close, but that doesn’t give you the right—”

“You know what, Coach? Fuck you.”

“Ruby Jane Whittaker, if you expect to ever play basketball at this school again—”

“Are you kidding me? That vicious bitch made Gabi’s life a living hell, and you looked the other way.”

“You’re trying to deflect the issue—”

Coach held his ground as Ruby Jane surged to her feet. “Clarice
is
the issue. But you’ve closed your eyes because she’s your Femzilla and all you care about is the size of the fucking trophy in the case up front.” Her fists shook at her sides. “She’s all yours now. Because no way am I ever going to play for you again.”

“Get out.”

“Gabi’s death is on you—”

“Get out!”

Ruby Jane got out. Her mother’s car was gone. She walked home, imagining a day at the elementary school hoops, and miles of mindless roadwork ahead. No one offered her a ride. She passed the Caprice in the driveway. Her mother waited in the kitchen. “Slutting around
and
stealing my car? I ought to have you arrested.”

Ruby Jane walked past her. “Jail would be an improvement over living with you.”

- 39 -

Interview, April 1989

Mrs. Parmelee threw open the conference room door. Grabel and the chief stood at the counter. Nash sat at a desk. The three turned, surprised, as Mrs. Parmelee marched through the office. Ruby Jane moved to the doorway.

Mrs. Parmelee stopped a foot from Grabel’s chest. He had to lift his head to look her in the eye. “About time. You have no business—”

“I know who you are.”

He attempted a smirk. “My name is stitched above my shirt pocket.”

“You’re the cop who perjured himself over that botched Stop-n-Go robbery last year. You falsified the report in order to implicate an innocent teenager whose only crime was practicing skateboard tricks a block away when the robbery occurred. Then you conspired with your partner to lie to the grand jury.”

Grabel’s face went slack. “That unfortunate incident was misrepresented in the press.”

“You took a shortcut because you couldn’t be bothered with doing your job. Thank God for that young man the prosecutor noticed inconsistencies in your report.”

“That’s not—”

“Credit where credit is due, though. You dodged the grand jury long enough for your partner to break under pressure and put his gun in his mouth. All you had to do then was deflect blame onto him for the whole sad mess.” She shook her head,
tut-tutted
through her teeth. “Too bad your supervisors at the Dayton P.D. weren’t sold on your story. Perhaps they knew it wasn’t an isolated incident.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m surprised the chief here hired you.”

Grabel swallowed. The flesh on his throat grew taut. He looked to the chief, who frowned.

“So now what? A repeat performance in Farmersville? Reach a conclusion and then squeeze some poor girl until you achieve the outcome you’ve predetermined?”

Grabel backed up against the counter. When he spoke, his voice spluttered. “She committed assault—”

“She had a fight with a classmate. The school dealt with the incident.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Let me explain to you how simple it is.” Mrs. Parmelee leaned into him, her lips twisted into a nasty smile. “These fellows know me as a high school English teacher. What they don’t know is my brother is Roger Lockman.”

It took a moment, but what color remained drained from his face. Ruby Jane remembered Mrs. Parmelee said her brother was a county prosecutor.

“I’m going to speak with Roger now. If I have to come back here, I’ll bring him with me. He’s often mentioned his desire to have another go at you.”

Mrs. Parmelee glanced back at the conference room door, her eyes bright with triumph. Ruby Jane smiled gratefully. Mrs. Parmelee nodded as if to say
you’ve got this now, girl
. Ruby Jane wasn’t so sure, but made no move as Mrs. Parmelee banged through the gate at the end of the counter and stomped down the stairs. Grabel sagged against the desk, ran his hand over his face. Shaken, apparently unaware Ruby Jane had witnessed the exchange. She returned to her chair at the window.

She didn’t have to wait long. When Grabel and Nash returned, they brought the smell of old air with them. Grabel’s face was still pale, but he’d regained some measure of his composure. He no longer carried the folder. He held a couple of curling fax pages. He didn’t bother to sit down.

“You do much traveling?” His voice was a rasp.

“What do you think?”

“You ever find yourself out Missouri way?” He raised the fax. “Dale Whittaker sold his Dodge Ram pickup to a soldier at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri last September. Title transfer went through in October.”

The arms of the chair grabbed the table edge as she pushed to her feet. She staggered, caught herself with one hand on the window. She felt a sudden urge to keep pushing, to lift her palm and strike the glass. Watch it shatter and slice into her wrist. She imagined the pain would offer escape from the turmoil in her heart. But with that thought she drew a sharp breath and jerked away from the glass. She turned her hands over and traced the faint blue veins along her wrists. All Gabi wanted was to be loved, and to be free of derision for who she was. Deprived of both, could she be blamed for taking the only escape she believed left to her?

At least, in the end, Mrs. Parmelee frustrated any chance for Grabel to attack Gabi’s memory and spirit. And now Ruby Jane—deservedly or not—was free.

She thrust past Nash to the door. Grabel was talking, his words like marbles rolling around in a jar. When she slammed the conference room door, the whole building trembled.

- 40 -

Stormy Night, August 1988

Later, Ruby Jane would wonder if she missed on purpose, or because of her overwrought nerves. Dale knelt beside the hole and reached out to her, hands beseeching, a mewling in his throat. The smell of gunpowder hung on the air between them and stung the inside of her nose.