Counting the Days (19 page)

“
No, there’s no one special. I’ve kind of been out of the dating scene for a while. Well…” Thomas hesitated and then continued, “To tell you the truth, there is someone special in my heart, but she’s in somebody else’s life. We met several years ago and I’m still pining over her. I’ve silently been in love with her and she doesn’t even know that I’m alive. I just can’t seem to get over her, so I just concentrate on work and school.” Thomas began squirming a little.

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Is this girl someone I know?” I asked curiously. Who is this stupid girl that she can’t see how sweet he is?

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I’m not telling you who it is, because it’s not important. She’s married, so her and I could never be an item...ever.” He began to look so sad suddenly. “Trust me, it’s better that nobody knows anything about her.”

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Come on, tell me who it is,” I begged. Who could it be? “Okay, if you’re not going to tell me her name, then tell me what she’s like. What made you fall in love with her?

He sat back thinking for a moment and then began, “The first thing I noticed about her was her beauty. She’s thin, has beautiful hair and big brown eyes. When she smiles, she kicks my butt. After getting to know her, I fell in love with her heart, but most of all her loyalty. She is a very loyal person and that really turned me on to her. No matter what friends and family do to her, she remains loyal and faithful to them, even if they totally don’t deserve it. Let me give you an example of how loyal she is. Her husband cheated on her with her best friend. And she forgave him. She even forgave her girlfriend. She is just incredible.”

I smirked and said, “She sounds like either a very stupid girl who puts up with way too much crap or she’s just too good to be true.” Personally, this girl sounded like a loser and I think that he deserves better.

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She’s really a good hearted person and I think that she just puts up with the cards that she’s been dealt. Her husband’s not that great a guy, but he’s my friend so I stay away. It’s just better that way,” Thomas said, looking away.

“
Well I’m glad that she’s married because, Thomas, it sounds to me like you deserve so much better than this girl. You deserve a girl who is totally into you. Not someone who is obviously in love with another guy, a guy who just so happens to be her husband. Where did you meet her?” I asked, getting annoyed, because this girl was really getting under my skin. I haven’t even met her and I don’t like her, who ever she is.

“
We met about four years ago on the beach. But, I think that I’ve painted you a really negative picture of her. You have to understand, she’s beautiful, both inside and out. She’s fun loving and is the kindest girl I’ve ever met. Most girls are only thinking about themselves and they’re usually trying to find a guy who has money or makes good money. They want someone who will sit them in the seat of luxury. When I met this girl, I knew that she was perfect. Of course, she wanted a guy that made good money and would be able to give her a good life. But money wasn’t the sun, moon and stars for her. She wanted love. And when she met her husband, she thought that she found love. He’s good looking and charismatic. She fell head over heels. I didn’t even have a chance.”

I felt a twinge of jealousy emerging from within me. Stop it Marilyn, you’re married, for goodness sakes. “Who is she?” I asked, again out of curiosity. Who had made such an impression on this guy, that he was still pining over her almost four years later. I could see that he was visibly uncomfortable talking about this girl, but I had to know who she was. I looked away to avoid making eye contact with Thomas and began watching the band play. I was feeling a little jealous and I didn’t want him to notice.

After a short pause, Thomas blurted out, “It’s you, Marilyn.”

What? Did he just say my name? My heart skipped a beat and I slowly turned my glance back over to him. I was visibly caught off guard and very surprised. Contain your excitement, girl. “Thomas, I…I,” I replied hesitantly, not knowing what to say. I didn’t want to smile, but I couldn’t stop my heart from beating a mile a minute. All these years and days that I suffered. Does he even know how much abuse I’ve taken? And Danny, how do I get away from him? I was so blind. Thomas is the one. Keep your composure, Marilyn, because you don’t deserve him.

“
I’ve been in love with you since forever. I could never get close to you, because of Danny’s insane jealousy. And besides, there’s that unspoken loyalty code, friends just don’t date each other’s girls. Guys just don’t do that to each other, and from the beginning, Danny let all of us know that you were going to be his. Under no circumstance were any of us to go near you. You remember how pissed he got at Mike’s party that one summer. And at the time, you guys weren’t even official yet,” Thomas paused and looked away.

I was totally beside myself. My goodness, I picked the wrong guy. If only I’d reciprocated Thomas’ pass that night long ago. Life would have been totally different for me now. I wouldn’t be living the life of misery that I’m living. “Thomas, I’m so flattered. I don’t know what to say.” Be still, my heart.

Thomas kept his glance to the dance floor and continued, “That night at Mike’s when we danced was the best night in my life.” He paused and glanced back at me. “I’ve dated other girls here and there, but no one compares to you. None come even close. I’ve tried loving other girls, but I feel nothing. Every time I tried making love to another girl, all I could think about was you. Most of the time, I can’t even complete the job, because I felt so guilty for cheating against my own soul. The girls thought that I was an impotent freak with a problem. When I’d tell them about you, they couldn’t understand why I was still in love with you. They’d tell me to get over it and move on, but I just couldn’t.” Thomas’ eyes pierced love right through me. I could see that his love for me has been a curse all these years. He continued, “I love you so much, that it pains me to think about you with Danny all these years. When you got pregnant with Samantha, I wanted to kill him. She should have been ours. I truly hated him for having you.” His facial expression flashed his distaste and hatred for Danny.

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I’m so sorry,” I said with my heart hurting for him. Marilyn, you so don’t deserve him.

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Over the years, all I could do is watch. Every time I saw you, you looked so sad. Some times I could see that your spirit was broken. But, according to Danny, married life was great, and you were always either tired or sick. Every time it was a different excuse. It took a while, but I soon realized that he didn’t really love you. There were all these girls. He always had a floozy or two on his arm. When we were in the clubs, he’d disappear for hours with these girls. And there was Tina. They were screwing around since way before you guys got married. You just don’t understand how much this has infuriated me throughout the years.” Thomas quickly glanced at the stage and then back to me. “Do you remember a couple of years ago when I dropped by your apartment? You were pregnant with Samantha.”

Oh my, he knew. I nodded my head “Yes” and looked into Thomas’ eyes. He was in so much pain. All these years he knew how bad Danny was and couldn’t say anything. Not a word. He was sincerely speaking from his heart and was telling the truth. Now I know the absolute truth. Thank you, Thomas, for confirming my suspicions of Danny’s numerous affairs.

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You weren’t expecting me that day and I saw the bruises that you had on your arms. You were so nervous, pacing back and forth, looking out the window. That was the first time that I realized that Danny was physically hurting you,” Thomas said as his eyes began to swell. “That night I confronted Danny about the bruises and he, like always, tried weaseling around the question, but I persisted until it came to blows. Danny and I got into a big fight. I mean we threw down some serious fists. His abusing you was so inexcusable that I couldn’t help wanting to punch his lights out.”

I remember that night like if it was yesterday. Shaking my head, I said, “Danny had mentioned that you and he had gotten into an altercation, but he wouldn’t tell me what it was about. I didn’t push the issue, because if I had, well, he would’ve gotten really angry and accusatory.” I looked down at the table, suddenly feeling ashamed.

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Marilyn, please tell me that he has stopped hurting you,” he asked. His face was so full of feeling and compassion.

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It’s my fault most of the time. I’m so stupid and sometimes I work his nerves. A lot of times when he’s been drinking, I just don’t know how to shut up. I have to learn to just leave him alone.” My response was so programmed that I even heard how stupid I sounded. I sounded like a Stepford Wife.

“
Marilyn, you’re wrong. It doesn’t matter what you do to him, it still doesn’t warrant his beating you. Nobody has the right to hit you. Nobody! At Mike’s, if I’d been a little more aggressive that evening, maybe, just maybe, you would have given me a chance. And you wouldn’t be suffering all these years.” He paused a few moments and suddenly getting a bright idea, he said, “Leave him. Take Samantha and leave him. I’ll take care of you. We’ll run away. I have plenty of money saved. We’ll go to Europe or the Islands, somewhere far where he can’t find us. You’ll never have to worry about him hurting you or Samantha ever again.” He reached out and grabbed my hand.

His hand holding mine felt so good and so right. I didn’t want to let go, I was in such a comfortable place. And then I realized that…oh no…Danny. I immediately pulled my hand away and looked up at the stage. And, of course, he was looking straight at us. Oh man, what am I going to do now? He’s been drinking so much tonight, for sure he is going to accuse me of flirting with Thomas and beat the life out of me. “Thomas, you shouldn’t have grabbed my hand. He’s going to kill me. It doesn’t matter what excuse I give, it will still be my fault and warrant a beating.”

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I am so sorry. I swear, I wasn’t making a pass, I was just…” he paused and glanced quickly to the stage. Sure enough, Danny was still glaring. “Marilyn, please you’ve got to believe me, I never meant to cause you any harm.”

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I know you didn’t mean anything by it, but you just don’t understand how stupid jealous he gets,” I replied, feeling myself beginning to panic. “He doesn’t know how to control his temper and he can be very cruel.”

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If you want, I’ll talk to him about it. I’ll make some excuse,” he paused thinking. “I’ll tell him that I met a girl and that I was practicing my proposal on you.”

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That won’t work. He’ll say that he believes us, but I’ll catch grief later when we’re home alone.” Danny was still watching us talk. I wish that I could just disappear or turn invisible or something. The band was winding down and playing their last song of the second set. Relax, Marilyn. It will be all right. Remember the plan. In a few days, this will be all over with. A new life is just ahead.

Thomas looked back over towards the stage. “Well, I’m not going anywhere and I’m not afraid of him. I’m definitely not letting you go. Not again. So, let him bring it on.”

“
Thomas, please don’t say anything to Danny when he comes to the table. Let me do all the talking. I’ll think of something.” We both sat waiting in quiet anticipation. I stared at Thomas for a few minutes…he was beautiful. Breaking the silence, I asked, “Did you really mean it when you said that you’d protect me from him?” Even though I’d planned to leave in a week or so, I knew that it was not going to be an easy thing going at it alone. I know that I’m not strong enough, but with Thomas, this could be the blessing I’ve been waiting for. Looking at him intently, I thought to myself, I don’t deserve you, Thomas.

With all seriousness, Thomas turned to me and replied, “Yes, I did, Marilyn.” This man was winning my heart and I knew that he could help me to quickly forget the last five and a half years of misery.

My heart was beating so hard that I thought it was going to jump out of my chest. This can’t be happening to me. A kind, gentle, handsome man who, I might add, has been head over heels in love with me for years, is willing to make me, and Samantha, his for the rest of his life. I wanted to reach out, take him into my arms and hold him, because I knew that he would never let go. I’d be safe there in his arms. Even though I was petrified saying these next words, I forced myself to smile and said, “Thomas, please come by tomorrow while Danny’s at work and take us, Samantha and I, far away from here and from him.” After tomorrow, Samantha and I would be running for the rest of our lives. Now Thomas would also be running with us.

He smiled back at me and immediately pulled out one of his business cards. He handed it to me and said, “Call me as soon as he leaves in the morning and I’ll be right over to pick you guys up.” He turned and looking towards the stage asked, “Do you want to go somewhere in particular? Or do you want me to pick our future whereabouts?”

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Mexico…let’s go to Mexico.” I responded looking over at the stage. Pinch yourself, girl, because this can’t be happening for real. Am I dreaming? I must be.

“
Mexico it is.” The band finished playing and began coming down off the stage. Thomas turned to me and quickly said, “I love you, Marilyn.”