Counting Stars (A Donnelley Brother's Novel) (11 page)

In the distance,
mountains loomed. Just seeing them took my breath away. Although I
lived just outside of Edmonton, Alberta, I had been to the
mountains on countless occasions—mostly in the winter. I absolutely
adored skiing. Derek had been a snowboarder and we often ventured
out for weekend trips.

The mountains were stunning in the winter. Capped in
snow, they glistened like shimmering jagged gems. But in the summer
they were something else. Their solid gray mass steadied the heart.
Looking up at them made me feel small and insignificant—but in a
good way. Sometimes it’s nice to just breathe. Sometimes it’s nice
to feel like there are no pressures to appease and no masks to
flaunt. In the mountains—in this great land—I can just
be.
In the mountains, I am just a soul like every other and
there are no expectations for me apart to simply live.

It is this reasoning
that banishes the doubt I’d been feeling about coming to this
place. In the city, amidst the hustle and bustle of every day
life—the masks—the pointless conversation—the constant pressure to
conform—I never would have found the peace and quiet I needed to
find myself.

In the city, with all the
noise and movement, I would never be able to hear the whispers of
my heart. It was those whispers that would surely heal me and I had
a feeling that this was exactly where I was supposed to be to hear
them.

Glancing down at my watch I read the hands
and sighed. It was already 7:26 p.m. and Logan still wasn’t back.
He’d been gone for nearly two hours and I was beginning to worry.
Fishing had never been my
thing,
but I was almost certain it didn’t take this long to catch
a single fish. Did it?

Glancing down at the
fire, I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I debated on going to
search for him. But where would I go? I didn’t know the land. And
even when I’d gone out in search of firewood, I hadn’t come across
any water. I mean, what if he was hurt? What was I supposed to
do?

Logan had made it clear
that he wanted me to remain at the camp, and watch the fire, but
what if he needed me?

“You keep thinking that
hard and you’ll be bound to hurt yourself.” Logan’s deep voice took
the tension right out of my body and I sighed audibly. Logan
frowned, noticing my obvious relief. “You alright?”

“I thought you might be
hurt.” I blushed, picking at imaginary dirt beneath my fingernails.
“Or something.”

A single brow rose, “You
thought I was hurt?”

I nodded. “You were gone
for a long time.”

He smirked. “Fishing
takes time. There’s never a guarantee that you’ll catch
something.”

“Oh.” I looked down into
the blazing fire and found myself hoping that the heat of my face
was a result of the flames of the fire. If not, then this man made
me blush more than any other had ever done before.

Including Derek.

“Oh, what?” From the
corner of my eye, I watched him set the bucket on the ground. “You
weren’t planning on coming to my supposed rescue, were you?”

“No.” I answered
quickly. Too quickly.

Logan stiffened and I
knew, he knew, I was lying. “Reese, I know these lands. I was born
and raised on these lands. I know the animals and I know the
plants. I know where there is danger and I know how to handle the
danger I come across. You don’t. I don’t want you to ever come
after me. Do you understand?”

If I thought my face was
warm before, well, it was definitely like lava now. Even my scalp
felt warm and tingly as I tried to ignore Logan’s eyes on my face.
He was waiting for my answer. “If I thought you needed help, I
wouldn’t just sit here.”

“Fuck.” He swiped his
large hand over his head. “Reese, if I can’t trust you to listen to
me out here, then I’m going to have to take you back to the
ranch.”

I scoffed. “I’m not
going anywhere, Logan. If you want to go back to the ranch, then
go, but I’m staying here.”

His eyes darkened with
challenge. “Don’t test me, city girl. I’ve carried a woman farther
than the land we’d have to cover to get back to the ranch.”

I felt my eyes skim over
his fit body and I had no doubt that he would be able to carry me
so far. If I were unconscious. However, if he made a step to carry
me back to the ranch, I would fight him. This was my one chance to
heal and I would be damned if I allowed him to take it away from
me.

“I’ll listen to you,
Logan. Don’t get yourself all twisted over something so
insignificant.”

His eyes sharpened on my
face. “Your safety is a lot of things to me, Reese. Insignificant
isn’t one of them.”

At his words, something
inside of me warmed. That was the nicest thing Logan had said to me
since I’d met him the night before. So much had happened in
twenty-four hours. My heart had gone through so much more than I
ever thought it could handle.

Quietly, I replied. “I’m
starving.” I pointed to the bucket where the gutted, headless fish
had been placed. “How do you cook it?”

I watched as he glanced
at the bucket before replying. “Well, you’re going to prepare it
with me. Normally I use mayo, fresh lemon, and dill. But since
we’re all the way out here with limited seasoning, we only have
dried lemon and dill mix with a bit of olive oil to work with.”

I scrunched my nose in
disgust as he brought the bucket closer to me and I got a good look
at the mutilated fish. I covered my nose. “Oh God,” I shook my
head. “What kind of fish is that?”

Logan’s eyes flickered
to land on my face and a slow grin spread on his face. “This is a
Trout. You better get used to it, city girl. You’ll be cleaning
tomorrows dinner.”

“I will?” I rubbed my
lower belly where it usually flipped when I was uncomfortable or
disgusted. “I mean, I can’t—do—that.”

Logan chuckled. “Ah,” he
placed the bucket on the ground beside the fire. “Grab the
seasoning kit from the small pouch on the front of your pack, will
you?”

Eager to get away from
the gutted fish, I jogged to grab the seasoning kit from my pack in
the tent. When I returned, I carefully handed it to Logan before
stepping back. He raised a brow at me but didn’t say anything.

After what felt like a
few minutes of silence had passed, I asked, “What?”

“You wanted to learn,
city girl.” He stated matter of fact. “You’ll never learn over
there.”

“I take it back.” I
crossed my arms over my chest. “I don’t want to learn anymore.”

“Get over here.” Logan
commanded and I stiffened. I wasn’t used to a man commanding me
about and I didn’t take well to it.

“Don’t tell me what to
do.” I retorted through tightly clenched teeth.

He sighed. “If you don’t
get over here, Reese, then we won’t be eating tonight. Or the next
night, or the next, or the next, until you get over whatever you’re
bothered by and help me prepare the fish.”

“Logan,” His name was a
breathy plea on my lips. “Please, I can’t,”

“I took this fish’s life
so we could eat, Reese.” His eyes bored into mine. “If you make me
waste it, I won’t be happy with you. Out here, we don’t waste food
and we definitely don’t waste life.”

Blinking, I nodded. His
words were cruel, and yet, they made sense. Despite the revulsion I
felt toward the open body of the poor fish, I didn’t want to waste
it. Logan had killed it for us to eat—and although I had never
agreed with any form of hunting—because I hadn’t been introduced to
it—I did eat meat (store bought). I recognized my hypocrisy in this
and I intended to rectify it immediately. Logan hadn’t killed for
sport. And even though it was only a fish, in my eyes, it was still
a life. If I didn’t get my ass in gear, it would be a life lost for
nothing as he had so bluntly stated.

Taking in a deep breath,
I moved across the space I had put between us. “I’m sorry.” I
peeked up at him and found him watching me intently. “I’ve never
done this and I don’t really know how I feel about it.”

“Lay a piece of foil on
the grass.” I did as Logan instructed. “Now reach in the bucket and
place the fish spread open on the foil.”

I scrunched my nose.
“We’re not taking off the skin?”

“No.” He shook his head.
“That’s a waste of fish. We’re cooking it whole.”

“But,” I stammered. The
fish I had purchased for Derek to cook on the barbecue never had
skin.

“We’re not wasting the
fish, Reese. Place it open on the foil.”

Damn, the man was
impatient. Taking in a deep breath, I held it in my lungs as I
reached into the bucket to pick up the fish. It wasn’t nearly as
slimy as I had thought it would be and for that, I was grateful.
Placing the fish on the foil, I asked. “What now?”

“Now I’m going to
sprinkle a drop or two of olive oil on the fish and you’re going to
rub it in.” Logan did as he said as I rubbed it into the flesh of
the fish. “And now for the lemon and dill spice.” Logan said as he
sprinkled the dried spices over the flesh of the fish. “Rub it in
with your finger.” He instructed as he placed the spice and oil
back in the kit. “Now close the fish and wrap the foil around
it.”

I did as he instructed,
watching as he placed an iron grill over the fire. Positioning the
fish on the grill, I watched him with my hands held out far in
front of me. “What do I do about my hands?”

“What do you mean?”
Logan asked, but I could have sworn he was laughing at me.

“My hands.” I stated
dumbly. “They’re covered in raw fish. I need to wash them.”

Logan chuckled. “I know,
city girl, I was joking with you.” I watched as Logan moved to his
pack. He pulled out a kit of wipes and handed me one.

I raised a brow. “Baby
wipes?”

“They’re the best.” He
winked. “Sanitary and gentle on the skin.”

“Nothing you do is
expected.” I stated as I scrubbed the fish from my hands, oblivious
to the way he watched me.

When I was finished,
Logan held out a bag. “Garbage is never left on the ground.”

“Really?” I cocked my
head, playing stupid. “I totally thought we’d just dump our waste
in the river when we were done.”

His mouth tensed and I
rolled my eyes. “Don’t play dumb, Reese.”

“Then stop treating me
like I’m dumb.”

“Most people from the
city don’t care about the land. They litter like it’s second
nature.”

“Not me.” I sang. “But
you wouldn’t know that because you’re too busy placing me in some
stereotyped category to actually bother getting to know me.”

For a long moment, he
watched me. Finally, he nodded. “Alright, I’ll make you a
deal.”

I grinned. “Let’s hear
it.”

Logan crossed his arms
over his chest, “I’ll stop judging you if you’ll let me get to know
you.”

I stiffened. “What do
you mean—get to know me?”

“I don’t know anything
about you.”

“You know I’m from the
city.”

“But I don’t know
anything else. So, I’m judging what I know of others from the same
place.” He stated, stepping closer. His eyes, so intense, were
focused on me in that unmoving way of his. It made my skin feel
tight and tingly—my lower belly light and airy. There was just
something about Logan. Something that made me feel alive again—in a
way I hadn’t felt in so impossibly long. It was nice. And
confusing.

I stepped back. “If I
say yes, will I get to know you too?”

His eyes flared and his
voice was gravelly. “Do you want to know me, Reese?”

Why did that question
feel so intimate? And why did I want to put up a wall between us?
“If I’m going to be spending the month out here with you, I see no
reason not to get to know you a little?”

“Define a little?” His
black eyes narrowed.

“Um,” I swallowed. “I
suppose I’d like to be your friend.”

“Friend.” He spoke the
word as though tasting it and I waited for him to say something
more with a wildly beating heart. “I suppose we could try it
out.”

“You suppose?” I raised
a brow.

“I’m not really the
friendly kind of guy, Reese. I figured you knew as much.”

“You might not be easy
to get to know, but I see no reason why you can’t try.” I wrung my
hands. “You really don’t seem all that bad to me.”

He nodded as though he
were really debating it before he said. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you want to get
to know me?”

I countered. “Why do you
want to get to know me?”

“I want to know you
because I can’t figure you out.” Logan said bluntly. “But why do
you want to know me?”

“I already answered your
question. You would know that if you were listening. And you can’t
figure me out, because again, you don’t listen. You judge.
Unfairly.”

“Alright,” he dropped
his arms to his sides to flip the fish over the fire. “I’m
listening now, city girl. Tell me what you’ve already told me.”