Counting On It (Hearts for Ransom Book 1) (15 page)

Abby must have seen that Emily wasn’t budging, because she sat down beside her, one arm around her, crying along with her. It seemed like Emily was never going to run out of tears.

“I’ve got her.” Strong male arms went under her knees and back and lifted her against a firm chest.

“Logan.” Just like that, her tears finally began to slow down. She let herself lean against him, feeling safe and secure in his arms. Logan had her. She would be all right.

He carried her into the motor home and on into the bedroom, where he started to lay her down. Her arms tightened around his neck. “No, Logan. Don’t let go…”

“I’m here, Em. I’m not going anywhere.” He kicked off his shoes and waited while Abby pulled Emily’s off. Then he maneuvered them around until they were both lying on the bed. She was snug against him, her face pressed against his neck. He didn’t dare let go of her. She needed him.

Emily felt Logan’s arms around her and snuggled against him as closely as she could. She could smell—the woods after a rain—Logan. She was okay. She would be okay.

Logan felt her relax as sleep claimed her. He still couldn’t believe it. Mike and Barb Scott were dead—killed in a boating accident. Emily had given them their vacation as an anniversary gift, and now they would never come home. He wasn’t a praying man, but he fervently prayed that this woman wouldn’t blame herself for what happened. From what Aaron had told him, it was just a tragic accident.

He held her as close to him as he could and felt himself drifting off…Emily needed him…she needed…

Emily awoke in a snug cocoon, pressed against a warm body with strong arms around her. Memories came flooding back. Aaron…Abby…Her mom and dad were gone—dead. She felt tears falling again. How could there be any left in her?

“Shhhh, Em. I’ve got you.” Logan’s arms tightened even more around her. She put her arms around his neck, pulling herself closer to him. “I’ve got you,” he repeated.

“Is she awake?” Abby softly asked from the open bedroom door.

Logan looked over Emily’s head and saw Abby’s red, swollen eyes. Emily hadn’t been the only one to cry herself to sleep last night.

“I’m awake.” Emily’s voice was muffled against Logan’s chest.

Abby walked in and sat on the other side of Emily. “Em, honey, it’s after noon. Do you think you can get up and eat something?”

Emily shook her head. “I’m not hungry.”

“I know, but you need to eat,” Abby coaxed. “It’s not going to do you any good to get yourself sick. Come on, Em. Please come and eat. I fixed a pot of vegetable soup.”

“Logan.” Emily pulled her head far enough back to look into his eyes. “Please don’t leave me.”

“I’m not going anywhere, but Abby’s right. You need to eat something.” He softly kissed her forehead. “I’ll come with you. Let’s go eat lunch.”

Never releasing Logan’s hand, Emily finally managed to stand up. She was unsteady on her feet.

“You okay?” he asked her. “Can you walk?”

She silently nodded. She couldn’t bring herself to not be touching Logan. He was with her, and she knew she’d be okay.

He led her into the kitchen, where she sat on a chair. “Sit beside me,” she requested of Logan. “I need to be touching you.”

Without a word, he slid his chair so that he was at the corner of the table. He moved his leg so that it was against hers. “Better?”

“Thank you.” She watched as Abby set a bowl of soup in front of her, along with a sleeve of saltine crackers.

After she had placed some in front of Logan, Abby turned back to Emily. “What can I get for you to drink?”

Emily didn’t care. She was aware that Abby made the best vegetable soup of anyone she knew, but it tasted like water to her. They were both right, though. She needed her strength. “Milk.”

In a few minutes, the three of them were sitting around the table eating soup. Emily had eaten almost half of hers when she simply couldn’t take another bite. She drank her milk, though, not missing the concerned look that passed between Logan and Abby.

“I’ll be all right.” She closed her eyes tightly for a moment before looking at the two people she needed. “This is going to be hard, but I’ll be all right.”

“Honey, we need to get you home,” Abby gently told her. “You’re going to have to make some decisions.”

Emily shook her head. “I want to go home, but Mom and Dad had everything planned. All I have to do is let…let Mr. Hankins know.” She had thought her parents were being morbid when they preplanned their funerals, but now she was thankful. Instinct told her that having to make choices for a funeral right now would send her over the edge.

“How about if I drive you home?” Logan asked, placing his hand over hers. “Mason and I will come back out here to get your car later.” He had called Mason on his way to the campground last night, putting him in charge of Taylor’s until further notice. Mason quickly agreed, asking Logan to let him know if there was anything he could do for Emily.

“I don’t want you to leave me.” Emily’s heart started racing. She didn’t want him out of her sight.

“Em, I won’t leave you for very long. I promise.” He slid his arm around her shoulders. “I’ll send Mason and Colton out here to get your car. The only time I’ll leave you is to go home and shower.” He smiled wryly. “I reek.”

Her heart slowly returned to its normal rhythm. “Will you stay with me?” she asked Abby.

“I’m yours as long as you need me,” Abby assured her. “You’re not alone here, Emily. You’ll never be alone.”

“Thank you.” She looked at their mostly empty soup bowls. “Can I go home now?”

“You bet.” Logan stood up. “I’ll go get our shoes.” He bent down and kissed her on the cheek. “I’ll be right back. Okay?”

As soon as his touch was gone, Emily felt empty. It was all she could do not to follow him into the bedroom, staying in physical contact with him. She knew she was being irrational. He couldn’t touch her for every second of the day.

As soon as he walked back into the room, she started breathing easier. “Can you stay at my house with me when we get home, Logan?”

He exchanged a worried glance with Abby. “If you’re sure that’s what you want.”

“I need you,” she told him. “Please.”

“I’ll be here for as long as you want me, Emily.” He handed her the shoes Abby had pulled off her the night before. “As soon as we get to Ransom, I’ll run home and get my things. Abby will be with you. You’ll never be alone.”

She slowly bent down to put her shoes on. Was it really just yesterday when she had sat on a blanket sharing stories about Logan with Paul? It seemed so insignificant now.

“I’m going to clean up here a little, but I’ll be right behind you,” Abby told them as Logan was leading Emily out the door.

Emily just knew she couldn’t let go of Logan’s hand right then. Not if her life depended on it.

This had been the longest day in Emily’s life. After waking up in Logan’s arms, she’d managed to let him go long enough for both of them to shower and dress. Any other time he was out of her sight for more than a few minutes, she recognized the signs. She started to have a panic attack.

He and Abby had both taken her to the store, where she woodenly tried on dresses until she found one she thought her mom and dad would have liked. It wasn’t black. It was a deep shade of green, a color her mom always told her made her hazel eyes sparkle. Abby said it fit her nicely.

Since it was to be closed casket, she had to choose a picture of each one of them to place on top. They had gone to her parents’ house to find them, and looking through the photographs fired up Emily’s tears again. It had been Abby who finally declared their wedding picture and the one they’d had taken at their thirty-fifth wedding anniversary celebration should be placed on a table between the caskets. They had always been together, and that was how people were used to seeing them.

It was Abby who put together the photo board which would be displayed. She chose pictures of the two of them, and some with Emily. Emily couldn’t look at it without breaking down.

Emily’s paternal grandparents were flying in from New Jersey. They had never been a close family. Her grandmother hadn’t sounded any different when Emily told her that her son and his wife were gone. She had just asked about the arrangements and told Emily they would be there. It was a sad statement that she didn’t know her own grandparents well enough to assume they just handled their grief differently.

Her mom’s parents were gone—Grandpa when Emily was a baby, and Grandma a year later. She had no memories of them, only pictures. Emily’s Aunt Helen, her mom’s sister, had broken down and cried so hard Emily handed the phone to Abby for her to explain the arrangements.

Her dad’s brother was the last person Emily called. Uncle Mitch and Emily’s father were identical twins. A part of her didn’t want him to come, because she didn’t think she could bear to  see a man who looked exactly like her dad walking around, but he had every right to be there. She could tell he cried when she told him.

Now it was seven o’clock. Tomorrow at this time, the visitation would be half over. Emily dreaded the visitation more than the funeral. Her parents had considered not even having one when they made their plans, but they‘d thought one of them would be left behind and need it for closure. Emily was the only one left, and she only needed the funeral for closure. She vaguely wondered if she would have felt different if they had been able to have the caskets open.

“Let’s go watch a movie, Em,” Logan suggested, leading her into the living room. “Just forget about everything for a couple of hours. Okay?”

Abby had gone home for the night, needing to get her own clothes ready and a good night’s sleep before facing tomorrow. Emily needed to remember her parents had been like a second set for Abby—much like Aaron and Sara were for her.

Logan could tell Emily was dwelling on the funeral too much. This whole thing was horrible, but she needed some normalcy, however brief it might be. He left her sitting on the couch while he dug through her movie collection. He found a silly comedy that didn’t even really have a story line. It was intended to make the audience laugh. While he didn’t expect Emily to laugh, he hoped it would distract her for a short while.

After starting the movie, he sat beside her on the couch. She immediately moved into the position they were both getting used to, snuggled tightly against him with his arm around her. It was how they slept.

“I love you, Logan.” For a moment, he didn’t think he’d heard her right. He looked at her, and she was looking at him, an earnest expression in her eyes.

This was going to be the hardest thing he had ever done. “I love you, Emily, but I want you to wait until all of this is over, and you’re feeling more like yourself before you tell me that again.”

She pulled away from him, curling into herself, tears cascading down her cheeks. He had rejected her. He didn’t want her love.

“Emily, did you hear me?” He took her face in his hands and forced her to look at him. “I love you. I want you to love me back, but you’re going through a terrible time right now. I don’t think you’re thinking clearly enough to know your own feelings, and I don’t want you to say or do something you’ll regret later. Don’t cry.” He slowly and tenderly kissed her lips. “I’ll be here waiting for you to tell me again.”

She kissed him back, just as softly. She knew in her heart he was right. He was telling her this because he loved her, but she couldn’t imagine her feelings for him changing—no matter when it was or what happened. So she thought it to herself.
I love you, Logan
.

He held her tighter, once more praying—that she still felt the same way after all of this was over. Because when he’d seen her lying on that blanket crying, everything else had faded, and he had been left with one true fact. He loved her. Maybe he always had.

Was this nightmare called a visitation never going to end? If she had to listen to one more person tell her it was just her parents’ “time”, she was going to go ballistic and start hurling flowers and potted plants at people. It was
not
their time. They had been taken away from her way too soon.

Logan saw the look in Emily’s eyes and realized she was on the cusp of losing it. He knew that look all too well since he had often been on the receiving end of it. Then he saw something that might help.

Emily looked up at the next person in line.

“Jesse,” she said softly as the tall, lanky man leaned down to hug her.

“I’m sure sorry, Emily. It’s just not fair, is it?”

“No, it’s not.” She managed a smile through her tears.

Fourteen-year-old Austin Nichols was right behind Jesse. He solemnly shook her hand. “I’m very sorry about your parents, Miss Scott.”

“Thank you, Austin.”

She looked past him. It looked like all the Slammers and their “little brothers” were there. Emily was touched more than she could say. From the corner of her eye, she saw Jesse speaking to Logan, who had stayed within a few feet of her all evening.

“You have my condolences,” Jake told her, giving her a light hug.

Duncan, who Emily thought she remembered was thirteen, shook her hand. “I’m sorry, Miss Scott.”

“Thank you,” she told both of them before they walked over to Logan.

Abby, who hadn’t been far from her all evening either, stepped over to stand right beside her. Brody was in front of Emily.

“I know this is hard for you, Emily, but we’re all here if you need us.”

She was still tearing up when the teenaged Luke awkwardly shook her hand. “I’m real sorry, Miss Scott.”

She turned to watch Abby walk away with Brody and Luke. They stood on the other side of Logan, talking.

Matt, a lovely woman who had to be his wife, Lisa, and Danny Adams were next in line.

After Matt introduced his wife to Emily, he also hugged her. “You’re a very special lady, Emily, and I hate that this happened to you.”

“Thank you, Matt.”

Danny, shuffling his feet, told her, “Sorry, Miss Scott,” before following Matt and Lisa away.

She smiled through her tears when Mason hugged her. “You know I’m always a phone call away if I can do anything for you.” He gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. “Logan has me on speed dial.”

“Thank you, Mason. Especially for taking care of Logan’s business so he can be with me.”

“If I didn’t, he’d figure something else out. He’s right where he wants to be.” He smiled gently and winked.

“I was very sorry to hear about your mom and dad, Miss Scott,” Spencer told her, any trace of inappropriate flirtation gone. Maybe Mason had gotten through to him after all.

Coop had her in a bear hug before she could greet him. “I wish I could fix everything for you,” he told her.

“I wish you could, too, but thank you for the thought.”

Little bitty Ryan followed Cooper. He reached up and gave Emily an awkward hug. “I’m sorry, Miss Scott.”

“Thank you, Ryan.”

“I hated to hear about this,” Colton told her, hugging her with one arm and pulling Andy with his other.

Emily almost had a nervous fit of giggles when she remembered thinking Andy looked like the poster child for the importance of sending children to school.

“I’m supposed to tell you I’m sorry, Miss Scott, but I wanted to tell you I’m
real
sorry,” he solemnly told her. At least he hadn’t been short-changed in compassion.

She waited until Bo was finished hugging her so tightly she could barely breathe before she greeted him. “Hi, Bo.”

“You know what, Emily?” he asked. “This really bites.”

She laughed through her tears. “It certainly does.”

There, peeking out from behind Bo, was a red-haired boy. Emily leaned forward and hugged him. “I’m glad to see you, Seth.”

“Do you got a aunt to take care of you?” he asked, blushing fiercely.

Emily gestured to the front row of seats, where her aunt, grandparents, and uncle had chosen to sit. “My aunt is over there, but I’m a big girl. She doesn’t have to take care of me.”

“Logan does, though, don’t he, Miss Scott?” Trevor was there, speaking over the top of Seth’s head, pride in his voice. A woman, dressed in a worn but clean pair of slacks and blouse, was right behind him. Behind her was a man in a wheelchair. “This is my grandma and grandpa, Miss Scott. They both work for Logan now.” Trevor was practically beaming.

Logan happened to look her way right then and could see the love flowing from her eyes toward him. He could only hope it was real.

“Miss Scott, I’m sorry for your loss, and I hate to meet you in these circumstances, but what you did for our grandson and those other boys…” Trevor’s grandmother had tears in her eyes. “God bless you, Miss Scott.”

“I thank you,” the man in the wheelchair told her, then continued. “I’m very sorry that you’ve lost your folks. I’m sure they loved you very much, and you’re going to miss them.”

“I will.” Emily drew a ragged breath. “I hope you know what a special young man you’re raising.”

“That, we do,” he told her. “That, we do.”

After he moved on, there was a gap in the line. Emily took a few moments to gather herself. The Slammers had said nice things—things that helped. She couldn’t hide a small smile as she remembered Bo. “This really bites.” That summed it up pretty good.

“Fifteen more minutes, Em,” Logan said softly.

It was then that Emily looked up and saw the two people she most wanted to see. Aaron and Sara had walked in the door. They would have been there with her the whole time, but Sara’s immune system was weak and she couldn’t be out very long. Emily didn’t care that they could only be there for a little while. They were there. She walked straight over to them and they both embraced her.

The three of them stood in a huddle, crying until Emily pulled away.

“I love you two so much.”

“We love you, too,” Sara, her eyes surrounded by dark circles, told her. “No matter what, you’ll always have us. Don’t forget it.”

“I won’t,” Emily promised them.

“I found someone to host the campground,” Aaron told her gruffly, his voice raw with emotion. “They’re using their own camper until you’re ready to collect your mom and dad’s things. There’s no rush. I just didn’t want you worryin’ about it.”

Emily realized Aaron and Sara were going to miss her mom and dad nearly as much as she did. She moved back into the warmth of their shared embrace once more.

“I’m sorry we can’t stay, Em,” Aaron told her.

“I know,” Emily assured him. “I understand. Sara, you take care of yourself.”

After a hug from each of them and promises for her to visit—Sara would have to miss the funeral the next day because she couldn’t be around that many people at once—they left.

Emily turned to see her grandparents standing at her father’s closed casket, Uncle Mitch beside them. Her grandma was crying. She slowly walked to them, not wanting to intrude, but feeling the need for family.

“Come here.” Her uncle pulled her next to him. Emily couldn’t help it. He looked so much like her dad. The tears started pouring.

“Oh, you poor baby.” Her grandma had turned around and was holding her. “Your mom and dad were so proud of you.” Tears were running down her own face. “Did you know your dad sent me pictures of you all the time?”

“Our living room wall is covered with them,” her grandpa said, putting his arm around her.

“We haven’t kept in touch like we ought to, but we’re going to change that, Emily. You’ve lost your mom and dad, but you have grandparents who love you very much. We won’t take it for granted that you know that ever again. You’re going to hear it often.” Her grandmother spoke with conviction.

“I know it’s hard for you to be around me,” her uncle Mitch said softly, “but I love you, too, and I’m here if you ever need me.”

“Thank you. I love all of you and I’d like for our family to be closer.”

A loud sobbing noise broke through. Emily realized Aunt Helen was standing at her mother’s casket, crying her heart out. “I need to see Aunt Helen,” she told her grandparents and uncle. “She doesn’t have anybody else now.”

“You go ahead, Emily. I just want a few more minutes with our boy.” Her grandma patted Emily’s shoulder.

“Aunt Helen.” Emily wasn’t speaking loudly as she approached her aunt, but even though she was crying loudly, Aunt Helen heard her.

“Oh, Emily, what are we going to do without your mom?” she asked, pulling Emily into a hug.

Emily suddenly knew what to say. “Exactly what Mom would want us to do. Live.” Her aunt’s tears subsided, and she looked at Emily. “She would be furious at both of us for standing here crying over an empty shell. She and Dad are in Heaven—together and happy. They’re not here in these caskets.” Emily could hear her mother speaking as if she were standing beside her. “She’d tell us to remember the good times and celebrate the life they lived. It was cut short, but they lived, didn’t they?” Emily smiled. “They had a good life, and that’s what I’m going to remember tomorrow.” Her aunt offered a trembling smile. “You should, too.”

Aunt Helen’s smile, shaky though it was, grew. “You sound just like your mother, did you know that? I can hear her telling me those exact words.” She gave Emily a big hug. “Thank you, Emily.”

Emily smiled and stepped back to let her aunt have a few minutes alone at the casket. A little while later her grandparents and uncle left, telling her they would see her in the morning. It wasn’t much longer until Aunt Helen followed them, leaving Emily there with Logan and Abby.

She stood at the table with the photographs of her parents and looked at them. They were very happy in both of them. Their love for each other shone in their wedding picture, but even more so in the one taken for their anniversary. They had done everything together. Given the choice, they would have wanted to leave this earth together, too.

“Are you okay?” Logan walked up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders.

She leaned back against him, feeling his arms wrap around her.

“Do you see how much they loved each other?” She indicated the pictures.

“Yes.”

“I want to have that kind of love, Logan.”

He took a deep breath. “Remember, Em, I do love you. We have to wait until you’re sure—when you’re not still mourning so deeply.”

She turned in his arms. “I understand.” She raised her face, and he softly kissed her lips. “Can we date?”

A low chuckle emanated from his throat. “We’ve been sleeping together for the past few nights. I think dating would be a good idea.”

“Okay.”

She snuggled against him.

“Em, I’m going to wait outside and let you and Abby have a few minutes alone. She’s pretty torn up, and I know you two have always been like sisters.”

“Thank you.”

He placed another gentle kiss on her lips before he turned and walked out the front door of the building.

Emily turned to see Abby, sitting on one of the chairs, silently crying.

“Come help me tell Mom and Dad goodbye, Abby,” she softly called.

Abby looked up at Emily and stood. “Don’t you want some private time? I can wait outside with Logan.”

“What I want is for my very best friend in the world to be with me while I say goodbye to my parents. Now, please come over here.” Emily held out her hand.

Abby walked over and took it. “I loved them, too, you know.”

“How could you know them and not love them?” Emily asked. “But they always thought of you as theirs, too. I hope you know that.”

“Thank you for telling me that.” Abby put one arm around Emily. “I love you, Em. I might not have been born with a brother or sister, but in my heart I have one—you.”

Emily turned and embraced Abby. “You’re my sister, Abby, and I love you, too.”

They stood that way for a few minutes, then turned and faced the pictures again, each lost in her own thoughts.

Even though she knew they weren’t really in them, Emily still felt the need to drop a kiss on each casket and murmur goodbye before she looked at Abby. “I’m ready. Are you?”

Abby silently nodded.

Emily had to get through the funeral in the morning, but it was going to be okay. She had found peace and said her goodbyes. Tomorrow was just a formality. She turned and gave the caskets each one last glance before following Abby out the door—to where Logan waited.