Cosmopolitan Girls (17 page)

Chapter 34

Let the Games Begin

I'm sure Michael enjoyed his ten-day stay in London. Being waited on hand and foot by servants and staying in a five-bedroom mansion. He made sure to call and tell me all about it. Michael was living out most men's fantasies.

I heard Michael pull into the driveway.
I bet he
still smells of her. I bet he's smiling to himself thinking he's real clever, how he got over on me.
I heard him creeping down the stairwell, slowly inserting the key into the lock. He would think I was asleep. After all, I was predictable and never broke my routine. He entered the apartment and placed his suitcase down by my desk. Just like me, his routine was the same. As usual, Michael headed directly to the kitchen to eat the soulful meal I usually slaved over. What he wasn't expecting was for the kitchen to be clean and closed for the night. I heard him open the fridge searching. No leftovers for you, my dear! He was shocked when he passed the bedroom, and instead of hearing my snoring he heard an upbeat breathing pattern.

I was in the midst of an intense workout, sweating away to Billy Blank's
Taebo Live.
I was wearing a brand-new spandex suit that revealed the certain truth that I really didn't need to exercise. I simply wanted to.

I peeked at Michael; he was at a loss for words and attempted to get my attention. I'd heard him when he parked in the driveway, but he'd interrupted my life for the last time. Michael had no choice but to speak first.

“Hey, baby. Looking good,” he said, trying hard to figure out what was going on.

“Hey, glad to see you made it back safely.” I was dismissive. I walked right past Michael and turned off the tape.

“I guess you ate already, huh?” He was apprehensive as he searched for his next words.

“Yes, I did, thanks for asking.” I left Michael standing puzzled in the hallway, his mouth open. Huh! He was going to have to get a full stomach of disappointment tonight. I went into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind me.

I took a long lavish shower, paying extra attention to every part of my body. I went into the laundry room, opened up my lingerie drawer and decided:
not tonight,
dear.
I grabbed my favorite oversized Tweety Bird cotton T-shirt.

Michael was undressed and waiting in bed. I entered the bedroom and Michael's look was priceless. He was expecting Victoria's Secret, but tonight I had a secret of my own.
I'm leaving your tired useless ass.
I couldn't help but smile at the thought.

Michael misread me and smiled back. I never saw him like this before. Michael was truly one pathetic man. I was so turned off I felt drier than the Sahara Desert. I hit the light switch before climbing into bed, and this time, for the first time, I rolled over, giving Michael my back.

“Sleep tight.”

Chapter 35

God Bless the Child

I took off from work for my gynecologist appointment. My doctor didn't have another opening until next month, so there was no way I was missing it. I washed my hands in the sink, praying I didn't have an STD. My doctor and I had a relaxed relationship and called each other by our first names.

“What's the verdict, Nancy?” My face was fear-stricken.

“Which one?” she asked. Nancy cleared her throat. “Lindsay, your Pap smear checked out. You're clean.” She paused. “But you are pregnant.” “Pregnant?” My eyes puddled up.

“You're about four weeks.” Nancy took another pause. “Lindsay, I know you stopped taking the pill last year to give your body a break from all the toxins, but I had no idea you were trying to get pregnant.”

“I wasn't. The last thing I want is to have a baby right now.”

“But we've talked about condoms and other methods of birth control. What happened?”

“Nancy, please, no speeches. You're my doctor and I trust you, but I've got a lot to think through. It was my fault. I listened to a foolish heart and not a lucid mind.”

“If it helps, you're not alone. So not just as your doctor, but as your friend, when you're ready let me know and we'll talk about your next step,” she said, patting my hand. “Take your time leaving.”

I had to get out of that office fast, get some air, try to figure all this out. I stopped and sat on a park bench and watched a group of small children playing. I opened my cell and dialed.

“Hi, it's Lindsay.”

“Oh, good, Angie's over too.” Faith pulled the phone away and called out, “Angie, pick up the phone. It's our long lost sister, Lindsay.”

“Hey, girl.” Angie sounded concerned. “Where have you been? What did the doctor say?”

“I know, I'm sorry, but it's bad y'all.” I burst into tears. “I'm pregnant.”

“You have to tell Troy,” Faith said, keeping a level head.

“We're not together,” I said, blubbering.

“Lindsay, what were you thinking?” Angie questioned.

“I don't need this from you, Angie! You act like you've never made a mistake. You don't want me to throw all your bad decisions in your face, namely your own damn child!”

I'd crossed the line. Angie's son's father disappeared when she got pregnant and wouldn't even claim my nephew until he was five years old. She had a fit at first but then took him back like a fool after he'd gone out and started another family, but they were happily married now. What I'd just done was taboo. No one in our family ever brought up her situation. Angie slammed the phone down. That was the end of that. I knew we wouldn't be speaking for a while, again.

“Lindsay, now you know you were wrong. You're hurting but that's no reason to strike out at your family. We love you, and you know how emotional Angie gets.” Faith tried to calm me down.

“I'm sorry, but my life is screwed right now!” I was crying and screaming at the top of my lungs. “I have a career! What am I going to do with a baby?”

“We are your family, Lindsay, and we will help you take care of the baby.”

“Are you kidding me? You don't understand. You've never been in my shoes, Faith. I have a plan for my life!” I was striking out at everyone.

“Well, you should've thought about that before!” Faith yelled.

“I'm getting rid of it!”

“What! You can't have an abortion. A woman in your position has no excuse.” Faith paused and lowered her voice. “You need to relax and pray. Ask God for strength. Lindsay, you know how to pray if you don't know how to do anything else.”

“I gotta go!” I said and hung up. I just couldn't be a single mother.

I was always so determined to get what I wanted in my life, but now I had to take a hard look at my life. I needed God more than ever, but I wouldn't allow myself to see that. I got up and started my long walk home.

I was in my first trimester and having a hard time, light-headed from throwing up all afternoon. Lying in bed recuperating, I figured now was as good a time as ever to tell Troy about the baby. Even if I wasn't going to keep it, he had a right to know. I slowly dialed his number.

“Hello?” A woman's voice answered on the other end. “Hello?” she asked again and I paused. It sounded like she was still in bed. “Um, hello, is Troy in?” I finally answered.

“Hold on a sec.”

I was trying to hold myself together to handle business. Troy fumbled with the receiver.

“Hello?”

“Troy, um, it's Lindsay. We need to talk.”

“Can this wait? I'm kinda busy right now.”

I wasn't going to let what was happening on the other end stop me from getting out what I needed to say.

“Look, I need to see you.”

“Why don't you just call me later?”

I didn't want it to be this way, but he was forcing me.

“I'm pregnant, Troy.”

He was quiet at first, then he chuckled. “Fine, how much do these things cost now? Three, four hundred?”

I was astounded. Clearly, my situation wasn't new to him. Troy offered up money, like he knew he could write me off at whatever the cost.

“You can't be serious?”

“I'm very serious, Lindsay. By the way, I saw the clothes you cut up.”

“Troy, did you just hear what I said?”

“And did you just hear what I said? Look, it's all good. I know you were under a great deal of mental anguish after we broke up. I'm gonna let it all slide,” Troy said with sarcasm. “This conversation's over, Lindsay.”

He hung up and I threw the phone across the room with a vengeance. I crawled out of bed nauseous and dizzy. I was thunderstruck by what had just happened. Did I ever know Troy at all? I made it to the bathroom just in time as vomit spewed from my mouth. After what seemed to be an eternity, I collapsed on the bathroom floor and cried until I fell asleep.

My body jolted from the sound of the train passing. My chest was heaving. I dragged myself to the patio door, opened it, and stepped out onto the balcony for some air. The world circled around me. Troy was ruthless, cold, and what was happening with me didn't matter. He didn't want a relationship with me or the baby. Out of frustration, I screamed as loud as I could, but the city's noise was too overpowering and drowned me out.

Chapter 36

Movin' On Up

Lindsay turned onto Ninety-eighth and Riverside Drive. This was our seventh apartment go-see for the week. We could have seen more, but our shopping and eating breaks were so much more enjoyable. “This ad sounds like a winner. Lord knows I'm ready to escape from Michael's prison. Lindsay, it's getting harder to ignore a person who really doesn't give a damn about you anyway!” I said, neatly folding up the newspaper.

“Charlie, you're being dramatic again—”

“Michael believes he's so much more. Why can't he get it through his thick head? She doesn't give a damn about him,” I angrily interrupted.

“When girlfriend finds out you left him, and she can have him all to herself, that's when the game will be over and he'll realize what he had, but it'll be too late. There's no better time than the present to remember rule number seven: ‘God gave you those two feet, so stand on them, girl'!'” Lindsay said, reassuring me.

She pulled up in front of a prewar building. I could see the old-fashioned elevator from the street. I had always dreamed of living in a building with an elevator like this. I double-checked the address in the ad. It was correct. Lindsay was thinking the same thing, as she put on her glasses, triple-checking the information.

“So far so good.” Lindsay gave an affirming nod and turned the car off.

“Too good to be true is more like it. I love this block. Reminds me of
The Cosby Show
with all these brownstones.” I surveyed the street. I was wound up to get inside. “If the outside is any indication of what the actual apartment looks like, this place is mine,” I said, feeling optimistic.

We walked up the front stairs and I pressed the doorbell as we crossed our fingers for luck. A tall white-haired man in his late sixties appeared.

“Hello, I'm Mr. Baxter and you must be Charlie? You're on time too, I like that,” he said, shaking our hands, welcoming us inside. The place was beautiful. The wooden accents looked historic and classy.

“I don't live here anymore. Retired and can't take the bitter winters. I'm living in Florida now. That's why I'm letting it go for such a cheap price,” he said.

The master bedroom was stark white, bright, and warm from the sun.
My own piece of heaven,
I thought. The bathroom had an antique tub and a modern shower, but they somehow matched perfectly. There was another room that was big enough for an office or a small second bedroom. The kitchen was brand new. All the appliances were black and chrome, my favorite.

“Mr. Baxter, I want this apartment,” I said confidently.

“Do you smoke, have a pet, or kids or a boyfriend?” he quizzed.

“No, no, double no, and not anymore I'm pleased to say.” I played right into his game.

“Then you should be as quiet as a church mouse and clean as a nun,” Mr. Baxter laughed. Lindsay and I followed his lead. I would have done cartwheels if he wanted me to, anything for this apartment.

“I do love playing my music, and every now and then I let my laundry pile up,” I said.

“You're honest. That's good. If your application pans out, I see no reason why you can't have it,” he said.

I shook his hand graciously. “Don't worry, it will pan out. Do you mind if we take another look around?”

“No problem. I'll be waiting outside in my car.”

He left, and as soon as the coast was clear we let out big screams.

“I love it! I must be dreaming. This place is perfect.” I dipped back into the spare room. Lindsay followed.

“I could finally have a real office.”

“Or this could serve as a second bedroom for your godson or goddaughter when they spend the weekend,” Lindsay said under her breath, then let loose a big smile.

“A what? What did you say? I don't have a godson or goddaughter.”

“Not yet, but you will in about six months from now.” Lindsay was happy, but I couldn't help it, I had to be some kind of sounding board for her. “No, no, no. Don't tell me Shake is the father?”

“No way! I doubled up on the condoms with him,” Lindsay laughed, then it hit me.

“Oh my God, it's Troy's.”

“Yes, and I know what you're thinking. Don't worry. I went to see my gynecologist. I'm STD-free,” Lindsay said defensively.

“I'm happy you don't have a disease, but sista, you're in the dark. You think having his kid is going to make you and Troy live happily ever after?” I was concerned. Lindsay was not seeing the light.

“Wait a minute! I'm not using this pregnancy to get back with him. I don't even want Troy back, but I do want this baby.”

“I'm not trying to rain on your parade, but you've been through a lot of shit with that jerk. Are you sure you want to have his baby? And do you really think Troy will be cooperative at this point?” I asked, hoping she would see how messed up things would be.

“Like I said, it's not about him. But I know he will understand and, in the end, he'll do right by us,” Lindsay said without wavering.

“Really? Your entire relationship with Troy was based on lies. The brotha just dogged you in the worst way.”

“Can we move on already!”

“What is it, Lindsay, that's making you do this? Love, ego, insecurity?” I couldn't understand her irrational behavior.

“Look, I'm not getting any younger. I'm planning to buy a place and now I'll have the baby. I may never get the husband, but two out of three isn't bad. Charlie, it's my baby and I want to keep it. Trust me, I know what I'm doing. Why are you giving me such a hard time? You're supposed to be my girl.” Lindsay was upset and getting angry.

Lindsay didn't want to, but I had to force her to deal with the realities of having a child alone. “Exactly, I am your girl, and my job is to tell you when you're making the biggest mistake of your life!” I was upset too.

“Oh, I'm sorry. You're the expert. You can't even confront a man who sleeps in your bed night after night!” she yelled back.

I leaned back to cool off. “Lindsay, what does Troy have to say about all this?”

“I have everything—”

“I know, under control, like you always do!” I smarted.

“Listen, I don't want to talk about it anymore.” Lindsay was pissed.

“You can't keep running away from the truth, Lindsay.”

“Try looking in the mirror, Charlie!” Lindsay said as she walked to the door.