Corrupted (31 page)

“What's the difference?” Jason's eyes widened, with new outrage. “It's like you're checking up on me. You're my lawyer, not theirs. You're supposed to be helping me, not spying on me. I told you, I was framed. Have you investigated Richie like you're investigating me? Richie has enemies, trust me! Go find them!”

“Jason, be reasonable.” Bennie bore down. “I have to understand what the prosecution's going to say, so I can construct a defense for you. The detectives know you go to Eddie's every night—”

“So, I like it there.”

“So let me finish.” Bennie held up a hand. “It looks like you were stalking Richie, and that's evidence of premeditation—”

“I wasn't
stalking
him! I'm not, like, a creeper or anything.”

“Then what were you doing?”

“Eating dinner like everybody else! What's the matter with that? It's a free country, isn't it?”

“Jason.” Bennie modulated her tone. “If you tell me the truth, I can figure out a way to deal with it.”

“I did tell you the truth, I am telling you the truth!”

“I'm sorry, but that's not believable.”

“Nobody knows anything! Nobody was in that alley but me and him.”

“Whose knife was it, yours or Richie's?” Bennie bore down.

“The guy who framed me!” Jason's shout echoed, and the guard caught Bennie's eye, but she waved him off.

“Why do you have a gun in your car?”

“How do you know that?” Jason scowled. “What business is it of yours? Who said you could go in my car? How did you get in?”

“Okay, let's switch tacks. The police were at your house and they took your laptop.”

“Dammit!”

“What will they see in it that's relevant to this case?”

“I don't know.” Jason ran a hand over his head, ruffling up his hair, and Bennie could see his fingers shaking.

“Did you ever use it to look up anything about Richie? Like where he lives or—”

“I did!” Jason threw up his hands. “Why does it matter?”

“Okay, let's leave that aside for now. We'll talk many more times before trial. Let's catch our breath a moment.” Bennie sat back in her chair, as if she could relax him by her own body language. “You seem more upset than before.”

“You would be, too! You think it's a joke in here? These are some major-league gangbangers! It's stressing me
out
!”

“I totally understand that.” Bennie kept thinking about the PTSD diagnosis, predicted so long ago by the child psychiatrist. “If you want, I can talk to somebody and you can see a professional, a psychologist—”

“I'm not crazy, I'm
pissed off
. You get it? I'm pissed off and I have good reason to be! I'm in jail for something I didn't do and I can't get out!”

“Listen, I know this is a hard time for you. I know this is the anniversary of—”

“How do you know that?”

“Jason, I'm investigating to help your defense. I'm on your side—”

“Like before? Like you were before?” Jason jumped to his feet, his fair skin flushing red. “You think I don't remember? You coming to River Street? You acting, like, all nice to me? Like you're my
mom
or something?”

“Jason, sit down, please.” Bennie rose, a wrench in her chest.

“Calm down, Jason.” Lou stood up, putting a hand in front of Bennie. Jason swatted it away, but the impact knocked Lou off-balance, and he bumped into his chair, which fell over, clattering.

“Who the hell are
you
, old man?” Jason exploded. “What the hell do you know! You used to be a cop, so you think you know everything! You don't know anything I've been through!”

“Jason, stop it!” Bennie spotted the guard hurrying toward Jason, who yelled louder.

“I lived
my life
in jail!” Jason yelled at the top of his lungs, his face bright red, his neck veins bulging. “Now I'm back in! Do you know what that's
like
? Do you have
any idea
? Get me outta here!”

“Sit down!” the guard bellowed. “Sit down! Sit down, right now!”

“Bennie, let's go!” Lou kicked the chair aside, took her arm, and hustled her through the cubicle door, just as it was unlocked by another guard on the outside.

“Come with me!” The guard grabbed Bennie's other arm.

“Go ahead, Bennie!” Jason kept raging. “I don't need you, I don't need
anybody
!”

*   *   *

It was already after the close of business by the time Bennie and Lou got back to the office, where they parted ways. He went home, and she went through her mail, checked a few things, and then left the office, grabbing her last cab of the day. She slumped in the backseat, as twilight came on and the air got colder. She felt her eyes close, a stress reaction to the events of the day, especially Jason's outburst. She hadn't seen that coming, and there in the darkness, alone in the backseat, she let herself face her doubts about whether he was innocent.

The thought made her heartsick, for Jason, for Richie, for everything that had happened. But there was no going back. She had to defend him, and she was going to win. She just didn't know how. The case was barely triable. Jason's story didn't travel. And she could never put him on the stand to testify. The cab drove slowly down her street, then it stopped, and Bennie paid the cab driver. She slid out of the seat, hoisted her bags to her shoulder, and closed the door behind her. She walked between the parked cars to her house, where she noticed that someone was sitting on her front step.

She didn't have to look twice.

Her heart knew him, on sight.

 

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

“Hi,” Bennie said, dry-mouthed.

“Hey.” Declan rose slowly. The only light came from a fixture beside her neighbor's front door, and Bennie could see the outline of his gorgeous profile, the darkness of his eyes, and his crow's-feet that had only grown deeper. He looked handsome, tall, and strong, with his hands in his pockets the way he used to. Declan still did it for her, even after all these years, and she felt her heart lodge somewhere in her throat.

“I'm sorry about Richie.” Bennie knew it was the automatic thing to say when someone died, but less so when someone was murdered, maybe by her own client.

“Thank you. Do you mind if I come in a minute? I want to talk to you.”

“No, sure, right.” Bennie looked down in her purse, rummaging around for her keys, using the time to compose herself. She didn't know what he wanted, and she didn't know what she wanted, either. She knew only one thing that they needed to talk about, but she didn't know when she could talk to him about that, especially not now.

“Do you still have Bear?”

“No, sadly, he passed.” Bennie found her keys, walked past Declan to the stoop, went up the steps, and unlocked the door. She stepped awkwardly aside to admit him, finding herself suddenly too close to him in the entrance hall. She thought she caught a whiff of his aftershave, but it could've been her imagination. “Do you still have the horses?”

“No. They passed, too.”

“Sorry.” Bennie closed the door behind them, as Declan stepped out of the entrance hall and into the living room. Alone, she took a moment to center herself, then slipped off her coat and hung it on the hook. “Can I take your coat?”

“No. I'm not staying long.”

“Okay.” Bennie felt a
thud
in the middle of her chest. She didn't know what else she expected. She hadn't expected anything. But somehow, something inside her didn't want to hear
that
. She left the entrance hall and went to the living room, where she switched on the light.

“This is a nice house.” Declan looked around. “Very you.”

“Thank you.” Bennie managed a smile, remembering so long ago, when she couldn't imagine fitting him into her house and her life, then she couldn't imagine her life and her house without him. In the end, she'd lived her life without him.

“I'm a lawyer now.” Declan looked over, his hands still in the pockets of his parka, which was green. “I caught the bug when I saw you in Superior Court that day.”

“Wow. So where do you practice?”

“Mountain Top. General practice. My own firm.”

“That's great.” Bennie could see he was keeping his distance. He barely met her eye, as if they'd never been intimate, and she understood. He had moved on, probably with the blonde.

“It was hard seeing you at the arraignment.”

“Yes, I felt the same way,” Bennie blurted out, a stab at intimacy that was doomed to fail.

“That's what I came to see you about.”

“Do you want to sit down or anything?” Bennie gestured at the couch, but her arm fell at her side when Declan shook his head.

“No, thanks. Obviously this is difficult. Strange. Awkward.”

“All of the above.” Bennie couldn't resist the urge to make a joke, just to blow off the pressure, but somehow the lid stayed on the pot.

“You saw the boys at the arraignment. The twins. I got custody of them. I raised them.” Declan looked away, his eyes scanning the living room, but not really alighting anywhere. “They go to Crestwood. Get good grades. Doreen cleaned up her act, too. It took awhile but she did it.”

“That's good, too.” Bennie sensed he was trying to build up to something, but she didn't know what.

“I tried to help with Richie, but it was too late.” Declan hung his head a moment, and Bennie fought the urge to go over and hug him.

“I'm sorry, I truly am. It's so sad.”

“Yes, it is.” Declan looked up sharply, meeting her eye. “Jason killed him.”

“Declan, we don't know that—”

“Please don't.” Declan held up a palm, his lips pursed. “I picked out Richie's casket today. Doreen was too upset to go. So were the twins. We're going to bury him after they release the body. He was like a son to me, Bennie. He was my
son.
”

Bennie swallowed hard, feeling his grief. Declan had just lost a son. She could never tell him that he had lost another child, first.

“I tried to turn him around. I couldn't.” Declan shook his head, his voice suddenly hoarse, but his emotions in complete control. “I got him all the help I could. It was too late.”

“You can't blame yourself.”

“That's not who I blame. I blame Jason. Jason killed him.”

“No, he didn't,” Bennie said softly, but even she wasn't sure she believed it, after that display at the prison.

“Oh, right. Somebody framed him for the murder of his lifelong enemy.” Declan scoffed, but it had a hollow sound. “You don't really believe that, do you?”

“I can't discuss this with you—”

“I know you. You're not buying his story for one minute. You can't be.”

“Declan, Jason is my client. I can't discuss what I believe or don't believe. You're a lawyer now, you should understand that.”

“You're right. I didn't come here to discuss Jason's ridiculous story. I came here to ask you not to represent him.”

“What?” Bennie asked, aghast.

“Don't represent him.”

“I am. I have to.”

“No you don't.”

“I owe him.”

“No you don't. They fired you. You don't owe them anything.”

“Matthew fired me because of
our
relationship.” Bennie felt all the regret and guilt coming back to her. “If I hadn't been with you, Matthew wouldn't have let me go. I would've taken Jason's case to the Superior Court. I would've won. It would've made new law. They would've found out about Kids-for-Cash, years earlier. I would've put a stop to it. I would've prevented all that pain for Jason, Richie,
all
of those kids.”

“You don't know that.”

“Yes I do.” Bennie let it go. It killed her. She would never forgive herself, ever. She could only hope to make it right for Jason, now.

“But your representing him, it's tearing me apart.” Declan frowned, with a new urgency. “It's tearing my family apart. If you represent him, there's a chance he'll get off. I can't let that happen. I need to see Jason punished. Doreen needs to see Jason punished. So do the boys. It's
justice
.”

“Declan—” Bennie said, but she wasn't sure how to finish the sentence. She wasn't about to argue about what justice was, in this case.

“You know he's guilty. He hated Richie.”

“They hated each other. They were victims of the same judge, the same corruption.”

“Kids-for-Cash didn't kill Richie in that alley. Jason did. Jason crossed the line. That's murder. We want justice for Richie. He deserves it.”

“If I didn't represent him, somebody else would.”

“Right. He'd get a public defender. He couldn't afford anybody else. They'd lose. The evidence is overwhelming.”

“That could
still
happen. Don't overestimate me. My representation doesn't guarantee a win. I'm good, but I'm not that good.” Bennie felt herself in the odd position of running herself down. All this time she had been worrying that she'd lose the case, now she worried she'd win.

“Don't be modest. You're the big gun. Everybody knows it, and I don't want to take a chance.” Declan took a step toward her, his eyes searching hers. “If you ever cared about me, if you ever loved me, I'm asking you to quit.”

“Declan, you know I loved you,” Bennie said, her heart speaking out of turn.

“And I loved you, too. We loved each other, and that was real.” Declan touched Bennie's arm, and she came alive inside at his touch, palpably reconnecting her to him, after so many years.