Corps Security: The Series (151 page)

The last picture I take in, the one that sits in the largest frame front and center, is the one of just Emmy and me. I didn’t even know it had been taken, but I could kiss whoever did. We’re both asleep in my bed—something we did a lot over her recovery. So often that the women in our circle took it upon themselves to come by—often—and make sure there wasn’t anything needed. They would let themselves in and out, sometimes not even telling us they were here. I knew they were coming; my security system would trip them up every time.

In the picture, I have my back propped up against the headboard and Emmy is lying between my legs with her head on my thigh. She had fallen asleep rubbing the skin above my stump in a soft caress. I remember feeling her lips press against my knee right before her body went slack and her hand fell to rest where my leg stopped. That was the first and only time I ever let anyone freely touch my leg like that. She didn’t judge or flinch; she accepted it and loved me even more because of my scars. Then I fell asleep with my head tipped back and a smile on my face that didn’t even leave in my slumber.

I straighten out each frame before taking my Medal of Honor—one I never felt worthy of—and placing it right next to that picture of Emmy and me. Right next to the woman who made me believe that I was worthy of everything blessed in my life.

With a nod, I walk back to the bedroom and climb into the bed to pull Emmy into my arms.

Right where she belongs.

CHAPTER 31

Emmy

I immediately notice his medal on the mantel the next morning. Maddox was fast asleep when I woke up. It took me a while to get into the living room, but when I did, it was the first thing I saw. I don’t make a big production over it; I smile and continue my slow hobble into the kitchen to get some water.

It is when I stand over the sink, empty glass ready and hand hovering over the cold-water knob, that I see the ashes. The meaning of such a monumental move on his end hits me like a train. Straight through my chest and slamming into my heart.

He finds me on the floor in the kitchen. I’m naked as the day I was born with silent tears streaming down my face.

“Em? Jesus Christ, are you okay?” His hands roam over my body. Then he checks my newly freed arm and looks down to my leg to make sure there isn’t an obvious source to my pain.

I just sit there and look into his handsome face, my breathing coming in fast pants. These damn tears won’t stop. His thumbs work overtime trying to stop their falling while he cups my face between his palms.

“You did it,” I sob.

He looks at me in question. His head tilts slightly to the side, his strong brows pulled tight. “I’m not following, angel. Are you hurt?”

“You let them go and you didn’t need me,” I gasp.

“Emersyn, fucking hell—what is wrong?!” His voice booms through the room and I smile. The tears don’t stop, but I smile huge and look into his eyes. “Have you lost your mind? Do you need me to find some happy pills? For the love of Christ, Em, what is wrong?”

He’s losing his patience and I’m losing my damn mind.

I reach up, lightly rub my palm against his chest, right above his heart, and look at him with what I hope is the face of a crazy woman who loves him. The tears aren’t going to stop. I’ve been waiting and hoping that he would let go of just one of those three demons in his box. I knew they were the biggest of his burdens, and even though I was willing to carry them with him for an eternity, I wanted him to feel peace.

“I love you, my big, strong, and brave man.”

He is clearly having trouble following my mood swings because he seems even more confused than before. I work harder to control my crazy, stifling my tears and swallowing the heavy lump in my throat.

“I knew you would be able to do it, baby. I can’t even tell you how proud I am of you right now.”

To my utter and complete shock, his cheeks heat and Maddox Locke freaking blushes. “It was time, Em,” is all he says.

“Yeah, I guess it was,” I agree.

“Come on. Let’s get you back to bed.”

When we get in the bedroom, I toss one glance at the box still sitting on his dresser. I know that, by it still being there, there is still one more thing left. I’m guessing that, since his Medal is out and the letter from his fallen brother’s widow was the one to go, that means the hardest and largest of his demons is left.

Those bastards in Texas.

As we slowly walk towards the bed, I can’t help but feel a little nervous over the enormity of which battle is left for him. It won’t be easy, but I won’t let him do it alone.

He helps me climb into bed, and when he moves to leave, I look up at him and shake my head.

“Sit,” I command.

His lips twitch and his brow cocks, but he sits.

“Tell me how to remove your prosthetic please?”

His eyes go wide, showing me his shock. “Em,” he starts.

“Don’t make me spank your ass, Maddox Locke. Tell me how to remove it.”

He grumbles under his breath, but he takes my hand and moves me through the motions. It’s hard since one of my hands is throbbing from having not been used for so long. I’m twisted at a weird angle in the bed, but I manage to remove it. Then he takes it from my hands and places it next to the bed. He won’t meet my eye, and I hate that he still feels some shame.

“Come on. Scoot back,” I demand, patting the bed next to me.

He gripes and complains but still sits by me.

I reach down and place my hand against his hip. He jumps slightly but still doesn’t meet my eyes. It isn’t until my hand has moved to rest right above his stump that his head snaps to the side and his eyes take mine.

“The next time I see even an ounce of shame darkening those sexy, black eyes of yours, Maddox, I’m going to smack your ass until it’s pink.”

His jaw drops, but I keep going.

“And then, if you still act like this part of you that I love is something you should hate, I’ll punish you every time. You think that I don’t love every inch of this magnificent body? Oh, you are so wrong. This part of you that you feel shame in is something I look at with pride. You, my brave, brave man, are a hero and it’s time you started wearing that title with pride. Be as proud of yourself as I am. Maybe I should just start keeping myself from you until you see just how much I mean this.”

I go to move my hand to my sex and his eyes flash for a second before his strong hand grips my wrist—softly but with enough pressure to show me that he means business.

“If you think you’re going to keep that sweet goddamn cunt from me, then you’ve got another thing coming, Emersyn.” His voice rushes through me, and I have to shift my hips when my arousal becomes too much. “You don’t keep your body from me . . . ever. Understand?”

“I’ll do what I have to do,” I sass back.

“Emersyn,” he growls.

“I don’t think so, mister! You aren’t going to go all sexy, growling alpha on me. You heard what I said. Now calm your cock down and take the over-the-top caveman down a peg or two. You still think of your imperfections as something to be ashamed of?”

He scowls, but answers, “No, Emmy, I don’t. But that doesn’t mean I have to fucking like them.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, big boy.” With a smile, I run my hand over his hardened skin. He shivers, but I know he isn’t cold. “You’ll fucking like them, because
your woman
fucking loves them.”

“I should wash your mouth out with soap and then spank your ass.”

“I would enjoy that too much.”

He groans and drops his head back with a loud thump against the headboard. “I don’t hate it, okay? You are the only person who has ever even touched me like this besides someone medically responsible to. I’m working on the rest. I don’t hide it from you and you have to know that, months ago, I would still be keeping it covered whenever I knew your eyes could take sight of it.”

“I get that. But it’s time to stop playing in the dark, baby.”

“Meaning?” he barks.

“Ugh, you are so frustrating. Meaning that, tomorrow, when we go to family dinner, I want you in shorts.”

His eyes go from hard to shocked within seconds. “It’s fucking winter!” he snarls.

“I don’t give a crap if you’re headed to the North Pole. Shorts, Maddox. It’s time to toss that ridiculous fear that others will judge you out the damn window.”

“That damn sass,” he drones.

“You love
that damn sass,
” I retort.

“You’re damn fucking right I do.”

Then he shows me just how much he loves
that damn sass.
It isn’t until hours later, when our bodies are still covered with a light layer of sweat, that I allow myself one huge mental victory dance.

CHAPTER 32

Emmy

Greg and Melissa’s house is full-out chaos when we arrive. Babies are crying everywhere. Cohen and Sway are running around the lower level of their house with underwear on their heads and capes flapping behind them. Dee is lying on the loveseat because she hasn’t stopped throwing up for, what she calls ‘an eternity.’ Izzy rolls her eyes from the chair where she’s nursing Danielle, their month-old baby.

“Don’t you roll your eyes at me, Izzy Reid! Just give me a second to get up and I’m going to kick your ass.” Dee tries to stand but then holds her hand over her mouth with wide eyes.

“I’m guessing this means she’s about to blow chunks all over the place?” I laugh.

Her eyes water with the effort it takes her to push aside her sickness. And then she locks her hormonal-driven fury on me. “Emmy! Don’t even start with me. I can’t wait for you to be throwing up every two seconds!”

Maddox goes solid next to me as he helps me walk into the house. I look up and try to figure out what he’s thinking, but his face is completely void of emotion. Whatever. I’ll pick it out of him later.

“Don’t tell her that,” Chelcie scolds, walking into the room with Zac sleeping against her chest. “It isn’t that bad. Plus, it’s worth it.” She smiles at Zac and sits down next to Dee.

The movement is obviously not what her stomach needed because she jumps up and runs to the bathroom.

Once we stop laughing, I move to my side and drop down onto the couch. I wait for Maddox to sit next to me, but when I look over, he’s still standing where I left him. His eyes are darting around the room with worry.

“Why don’t you head out to the backyard, Mad?” Melissa asks from the doorway. “The guys doing that macho thing you all do when you stand around a grill and grunt.” She laughs and gives him a quick hug.

He looks around the room for a second before making his way past the girls and outside. I keep my eyes on them and wait to see when they notice. None of them watch as he walks by even though his shorts give him no way to hide the one thing he feels shame over. Well, this certainly is going better than I thought. I know he was worried there would be some big gasp and fanfare, but he should have known our friends a little better than that.

“Hey!” a small voice screams from the kitchen. “Look, Dilbert! Maddox Locke is a transformer! MOMMY! I wanna be a transformer just like Maddox Locke!” Cohen comes rushing into the room, crashing into the wall when his socks don’t let him stop. Then he jumps off the floor with a big, toothy grin. “Mommy, did you see?! It’s soooo cool!”

I don’t breathe, afraid of how this is going to play out. I want to rush to Maddox and make sure that he’s okay, but I know that wouldn’t help. He needs to learn to get past this one all on his own.

“Yeah, Co, I saw,” she laughs. “You can’t be a transformer though.” His little face falls and she rushes on. “Baby boy, you can’t just decide to be a transformer. Only special people get that honor and only God can pick them. But you know what? That means that Maddox is an even bigger superhero. He’s is a transformer because he saved people.”

My eyes prickle and I listen as Melissa gives a child version of why my big, strong man is a hero.

As they continue to talk about how ‘cool’ Maddox is, I use that time to look at the faces of the others in the room. Dee still looks a little green, but like the others, she has a small smile on her face.

One thing lacking on all of their faces, though, is shock.

When Cohen leaves the room, I direct my question to the room at large. “How long have you guys known?”

“Uh, maybe about a month after I met him,” Izzy starts. “His jeans had gotten stuck and were folded in the back.”

“Took about six months for me. He was sitting and had his leg crossed over . . . I guess it pushed the hem up. I don’t know,” Melissa states indifferently.

“He fell—well, to be honest, I knocked his ass over—one day and saw it. He knows that I know,” Dee states, trying to keep her sickness from taking over. I watch her suck in a few deep breaths before she looks back at me with a shrug.

“I can’t remember when I found out. I figured he didn’t want to talk about it since it wasn’t common knowledge,” Chelcie says with a smile.

“I can’t believe you guys never told me,” I fuss.

“Seriously, Em. I think we all just figured, when he was ready, we would know. Or whatever,” Dee says.

“Well you could have made my job a little easier!” I snap.

“What changed his mind?” Izzy asks with a frown.

“He was ready. He just needed a little push.” I cross my arms and smile brightly at my closest friends. “Now bring me a baby,” I demand.

Two seconds later, little Lyndsie is in my arms and I sigh with contentment.

* * *

Dinner went off without a hitch. I knew it would, even if I was a little worried about what would happen if we had some sort of weird reaction. Cohen was the icebreaker we needed, and by the time we get home, Maddox’s mood is even lighter.

He’s just one more baby step closer to being free of the things that haunt him. I know he might not like the talk I have planned for tonight, but it’s time, and after seeing him take this last step tonight, I know he’s ready.

* * *

“Hey.”

He looks over at me from the other side of the couch with a grin.

“Can we talk about something?”

He mutes the television and turns his attention back to me. “What’s up, Em?” He takes a deep breath, and I know he’s thinking the worst.