Cord SEAL Team Seven (Book 5) (7 page)

“Yes I think so, but what does that have to do with anything? Who doesn’t know you’re a control freak?” I got a growl and a nip on the edge of my jaw for that one. “That’s not what I mean. I’m a dominant in all things, including in bed, especially in bed. My life, the things I’ve done, the way I’m made; it’s the only way I can find pleasure.”

“When I take you it won’t just be a man taking a woman to his bed. Sometimes it’s going to be rough, sometimes I’m going to do things to you that you might not understand; you’re so innocent. The things someone like me needs in bed might be too much for you unless you’re prepared.” His words were sinking in and where a few short weeks ago I would’ve found them intimidating, even a little frightening, now they heated my blood. And that burn between my legs intensified.

“Most Doms look for subs, someone who’s already naturally compliant to their every wish. But that’s not what I want. I want to tame you, to make you mine in every sense of the word. I want all that fire and ice that runs inside your veins to belong to me, and only me.”

I swallowed hard as I gave his words some thought. Could I ever really be that person? If wishing it alone could make it so that I was his girl, but could I really let anyone have the kind of control he described over me? It sounded like he wanted me to give myself over completely. The prospect was equally exciting and scary at the same time.

“If you say you’re that way- that it’s the only way you can…you know.” I waved my hand between us. Shouldn’t you look for someone who’s already like that? Someone who won’t mind, who actually wants those same things?” Of course I’d have to kill him and the bitch, but the question had to be asked.

“No I don’t want someone who’s naturally submissive, I want to make you that way; I will make you that way. I’m going to fuck you, spank you and love you my way until it becomes everything you crave.”

“I will take you over completely, your heart, your mind, your body, they will belong to me forever. I’m going to teach you how to please me, and show you your own body’s pleasure. There will be times when you become scared, don’t, I’ll always protect you, but I will push your limits because it’s what I need to get off. Sometimes I’m gonna do you rough, hard and without tenderness. It doesn’t mean that I love you less it just means that my lust for you is strong.

Sometimes I will do you slow and easy with all the tenderness your little heart desires. It doesn’t mean that my lust has cooled it just means that I’m reading you and it’s what you need at the time. The time will come when I will know you inside and out, your every fear and joy.

Here’s the hard part, and the main reason for my holding back. Our life together goes way beyond sex in fact sex is just a small part of what’s going on here. I’m talking about a lifetime commitment to me, something that will not be taken lightly.

I will control your every move, even in matters that you may think inconsequential. Some might not agree with that, with my way of doing things and you might be one of them, I don’t care. It’s what I need it’s also my way of making sure that you stay safe always. One more thing, and this, is very important. You must always be very careful to follow my orders without question or divergence.

If you ever endanger yourself I will punish you severely. I would heed that particular warning if I were you. I guard what’s mine. No one is allowed to put you in danger, not even you.”

He placed his hand over my heart and rubbed gently with his fingers before easing it down between my thighs and my body responded. “These will belong to me completely when I take you, there will be no way out for you. Ever.” His words were potent and I couldn’t believe that I was reacting to them this way. The thought of giving myself over to him completely was like an aphrodisiac to my senses.

“So you see, we can’t rush because if I take you before you’re fully trained and something goes wrong, you can get very badly hurt and I don’t want that.”

“What can go wrong? I don’t follow.” I never knew sex could be dangerous, what was he planning to do to me anyway?

“Your place in my life, in my bed, will require complete submission to me. That means you never question my orders, you never disobey me in anyway in or out of my bed. You still need time to learn that and it’s up to me to teach you.”

That gave me food for thought. What was he talking about? I knew he was a little…different, knew that even with Connor’s over protectiveness, Logan’s take charge attitude and Zak and Tyler’s brand of crazy when it came to the girls, that there was something just a little extra about my Cord. I just chalked it up to him being in Special Forces or whatever. The commander had been a bit masterful himself. But this, this was a whole new territory for me.

He’s right, I am innocent but what he was describing would take more than experience, it would take someone with a very strong constitution. Giving myself over to him completely sexually was one thing, what he’d just described sounded almost like a life sentence. Only I wasn’t sure if it was a death sentence or the door to paradise.

“What if I can’t do it? What if I never learn to give in all the way, then what?” Just saying the words out loud made my tummy feel hollow.

“It’s too late for that baby, you have no choice.” Well then!

***

After that night things had escalated between us. He trained my body to react to the simplest things, a look, or a touch in the right place. A part of me tried to hold back, not because I didn’t like where it was going, but there was an element of fear and rebellion involved.

He has this way of taking me under with such ease that most of the time it was like coming out of a dream, like losing time. But while I was under, I felt total bliss.

If you’d told me a year ago that I would enjoy being tied to a bed, having candle wax melted on my bare stomach, or having a man tell me when, where, and how but no why, I would’ve spit in your eye and called you a liar. Now I enjoy all those things and more. And when we’re not in his little pleasure chamber where he makes my body sing and my heart yearn, I crave him and his touch.

I’ve grown so attuned to him, that all it takes is his walking into a room. Or on those days when he and his brothers go to their worksite, I miss him horribly while he’s gone. And just when I know it’s time for him to be pulling into the gate at the end of the day, I get butterflies and my heart rate speeds up. My body already recognizes him as its owner.

I love the way he reacts when we’ve been apart for those few hours out of the day. I try to make sure I’m alone in his house at those times so I can enjoy one of his special ‘hello’ kisses. It’s almost worth missing him to be on the receiving end of one of those.

The way he looks at me holds me, as if he’d been gone for years instead of a few hours. I hope that never ends. I hope for the rest of my life he looks at me as if I’m his everything. There’s nothing headier than that.

He’s right, there’s no turning back. I know that no one else would ever, could ever make me feel the things he does. Plus the fact Cord would kill them if they tried. He’s possessive that way. And when he’d whispered just that in my ear while his fingers teased between my thighs, I believed him.

I tuned back into the Charlie’s Angels wannabes behind me as they grilled Kat on what she knew which didn’t sound like much. And now they were setting up a sting. They’re so funny, like these guys will ever let us get close enough to do anything; we can’t even leave the property without them knowing. When will they learn? Hopefully before Cord takes the skin off my ass. I like his special spankings, but his punishments for disobedience are a whole other story, and quite frankly I’m getting tired of bearing the brunt of these women’s escapades.

Cord lectures me every morning before we start the day about being safe. It’s as if he thinks if I’m out of his sight for more than ten minutes I’ll disappear. I used to think his over protectiveness was just par for the course, but lately I’ve come to realize that it was a lot more than that.

After Vicki had been attacked, it had really hit home that the guys weren’t just keeping us under lock and key to be a pain in the ass, but that there was real danger lurking. If only they’d tell us what it was we were being protected from, then maybe these ladies wouldn’t be losing their minds and getting into stuff.

“Gaby you sure Logan doesn’t have a tap on that phone?” That stopped them in their tracks. “Oh shit, Kat we gotta go, I’ll try to call back later but if you hear anything before then give us a call.” She hung up and looked around the room as if expecting Logan to jump out at her.

“You’re good they haven’t moved over there, though I can’t see inside so who knows.” Everything about this place was so secretive. These men make the commander’s paranoia seem tame. He was always telling Davey and I about staying safe, always had some new gadget or other that was supposed to safeguard us. Then he went and got himself killed, and that I’d only learnt by snooping. So I guess I can’t blame the others for doing the same. Before that, my brother and I had believed the nice old man had died of a heart attack or something.

Where he’d left off, Cord and his brothers had taken up. Now he treats my brother like one of his own and for that alone I adore him, it’s everything else about him that had sent me tumbling head over heals in love with him. And loving him the way I have come to, all I want is for him to love me the same. To be everything he needed me to be. It’s a fear I’ve been fighting hard to overcome.

But when I look at my new sisters, I wonder if I match up. We’re all so completely different, and until Vicki came along I was worried that these guys only went for society types. I wouldn’t blame them; they’re all hot, rich and from my estimation, can have any woman they want.

Vanessa was more like Vicki and me, but she was one of them, a soldier. Though the way the guys treat her you wouldn’t know the difference. With these men as long as she’s not on the battlefield, she’s like the rest of us. Vicki was more street-smart, my kind of girl. But it was hard not to love Gaby and Dani even with their silver spoon backgrounds.

“If we want to get out of here anytime soon, we need to figure out what’s going on. The guys aren’t telling us squat and it’s our lives too.” Gaby is a bit high strung, she usually starts shit, the rest of us try to talk her out of it, but somehow always end up going along, and then we get caught, it never fails.

“I’m not getting into trouble for you clowns again, besides, I don’t have a wedding that has been put on hold, so why should I stick my neck out?” This was my last play. I’ve tried everything else to get them to behave but nothing works. I wasn’t bitter that Cord hadn’t asked me to marry him or anything. Yeah right.

“Don’t kid yourself, if Cord hasn’t put a ring on your finger yet it’s only because he’s been so caught up in this mess that he hasn’t had time to get one. Trust me, if you’re here with us you’re as good as wed.” Vanessa smirked and patted the baby’s back as she nodded off.

If that’s true, I wonder what that ring would look like. Would it match the special chain he’d placed around my waist just the night before? If I keep this up I’m gonna ruin my underwear. The memory of just what we were doing when he gifted me with that new piece of jewelry was as hot now as it had been the night before when I was kneeling in the middle of that bed.

I felt the slight weight of it now as it rested just above my Mons; a constant reminder that I belonged to him. I guess it was as good as a ring on my finger after all.

Cord

***

“T
hey’re up to something over there.”

“How do you know?” That got Ty’s attention. Ever since he found out that Vicki’s pregnant with his child he’d lost what little mind he had left. Now everything is a major occurrence. If she even sneezes he buys out half a pharmacy and growls at everyone until she’s on the mend. They’re all nuts if you ask me, these brothers of mine, who think that they’re in control. I could give them some pointers but I like to see them sweat when it comes to their women. That’ll teach them to laugh at me, and the way I choose to live that part of my life.

“Because Susie’s been playing lookout for the past ten minutes.” They all trooped towards the windows and I shook my head in shame even though we couldn’t be seen from outside. “Geez guys where’s your training?”

“Logan can you put your woman on a leash for fuck sake?” Zak shoved his shoulder.

“Who says it’s my Gaby?”

“It’s your house bro, you know the rules, your house your headache.” Devon kicked back in his seat and put his feet up. He didn’t have a dog in this particular race and took great pleasure in rubbing our noses in it. He’d taken up where Ty the sap had left off.

“I can’t wait ‘til it’s your turn Dev, then we’ll see.” Lo grinned and popped a few peanuts in his mouth.

“Not gonna happen bro, after seeing what you fools have to put up with I’m confirming my bachelorhood.” Or so he thinks. But as Ty was once fond of telling us, we’ve been dropping like flies since the minute we settled here. I know if I wasn’t able to escape the web no one else would, and that’s a given.

That opened the floodgates and we spent the next ten minutes playing ‘whose woman is worse’ it’s a game we’ve been playing a lot lately. Only since heading down to Law’s and then Lyon’s place, the damn game was now spread over three states. It’s funny that even in the midst of what we were dealing with, most of our conversations lately have been about the women and what they’re up to.

I’m the only one who seems to have any real control over mine, since she knows that unlike my brothers, my bite is worst than my bark. She hates getting her ass beat for anything other than pleasure, and trust me she knows the difference. The rest of them don’t dare lift a finger against theirs since they’re all breeding. It’s funny as hell watching the theatrics. The punching bag in the workout room is damn near falling off its chain these days. Fucking women are more work than an Op.

I have no doubt that I’ll soon have to come up with an alternative punishment for Susie, as soon as I plant one in her, or two. And after last night I think that time might come sooner than later.

She was ripe for a good hard fuck, no doubt about that, but it was her mind I’d been more concerned about than her pussy. I’ll make sure her pussy can take the pounding I need to give it in order for me to get off. But I’m not willing to take chances with her heart and mind. She’d done so well the night before that it gave me hope that we were making great strides there, much sooner than I’d expected for someone with her penchant for rebellion.

“Well what is it this time? What can they possibly be up to over there? They haven’t been off the grounds, and no one has been here except the little Chinese lady who did their nails before we left, so what now?” Connor glared across the yard in frustration.

I felt his pain. As much as Susie minds me, when she gets with her sisters she can still be the same hardheaded pain in the ass she was the first day we met. It’s a wonder she doesn’t stay tied to my bed twenty-four seven as much shit as she and her sisters get up to. I guess we have to cut them some slack, it can’t be easy having their wings clipped, having to stay behind the compound walls all the time. But regrettably there was no other choice.

“Are you serious Con? They have a black Ops officer in their ranks now, and with the shit they pull we’re damn near outnumbered.” Devon finds great joy in the fact that the women keep us on our toes.

“Vanessa’s ass better be watching my kid and not getting into shit over there. I’ve told her a thousand fucking times.” Ty snorted at Zak’s rant. We all knew Nessa was gonna do what she wanted, as long as there was no danger, or she perceived there to be none. We also knew that Gabriella was more often than not the ringleader. Logan knows it too and it makes him nuts.

“They called Lyon’s place, probably to pump his woman for info. Good luck with that.” Lo walked away from the window still diddling with his little spying device. I’m not sure if the women knew we had them under twenty-four hour surveillance and that all the houses and whatever technology was inside, were tapped in some way or the other, including their asses. Vanessa might suspect, but I’m not sure if she knew for sure.

The lock on Susie’s new waist chain had a nice little chip in it and we were seeing about getting some stuff down to Law and Creed’s places for their women. Those men have been so caught up in other bullshit that they hadn’t even had time to think about such things, except for Lyon. Him, I’d like to know who his connection was, because that boy had some Grade-A shit. Fucker needed it. He got himself a battalion over there with all those kids. Shit makes me break out in a sweat.

“Didn’t we tell them to stay the fuck away from this shit?”

“Chill Zak, they could’ve been catching up.” Quinn is damn near clueless when it comes to these women, could be because they see him as their little patsy since he lets them get away with shit when it’s his turn to ride herd.

“My ass, they wouldn’t need a lookout if it was anything that innocent. Isn’t the kid supposed to be keeping an eye on them, keeping them out of trouble?”

“Sure Ty, he can control them about as much as the rest of you can.” Which would be not at all. “Now can we get back to work?” I’ll have the truth out of Susie in five seconds flat. Since no one was bleeding and nothing was being blown to shit it could wait, this couldn’t. The shit was fucking with my program. It had to stop.

Everyone took their places again spread out around the first floor room we’d turned into a command center for now. Until two days ago the old man’s home was still the way he’d left it; no one wanted to touch a thing. I think though none of us would admit it, we each believed that leaving this place the way we’d found it kind of kept his memory alive. Sort of like his presence was still here in some small way, looking over us the way he’d done when he was alive.

But since this whole mess had started, since we realized how deeply involved the CO was, we knew that we’d have to tear the place apart if we wanted answers. Now we had Candy set up in the trailer on site doing office work because we couldn’t risk having anyone else here but us.

“We’ve got to do something. This thing has snowballed way beyond anything we were expecting. We’re catching at our own asses looking for answers, but we’re getting nowhere. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I don’t like playing catch up with these fucks and I’m tired of feeling like we’re under siege here.”

We’ve been going through everything the old man had left behind looking for any evidence of whatever it was that Mancini had hinted at. After getting back and doing our own search on the guy we’d decided as a whole that he could be trusted, though what information could be found on him still left a lot of unanswered questions. It just meant that whatever he was into, whatever organization, had to be top secret like we once were.

That should probably scare us into heading in the opposite direction, since it was looking more and more like the people we once trusted were hip deep in this shit. But it was the man himself more so than what we’d found that had convinced us to take a chance. Having lived in the shadows ourselves for so long, we well understood the need for that kind of secrecy. And we’re not fools, we know when someone is on the safe list.

“We’ve gone over every inch of this place in the last couple days since we came back from Lyon’s and found nothing. We’ve got to get into the old man’s head. If he had something that hot to hide where would he keep it?” Logan popped the cap on his water bottle and took it to the head for a long draw.

“We know the place was bugged, but there were no eyes on it. Why if they thought he had something would they put ears but no eyes on him?” Connor prowled the room back and forth while Devon and Quinn booted up the old man’s computer.

“Was he dictating something maybe? There was no hacking device on his comps, no one was ghosting him so what exactly were they looking for? Unless; someone else was here. Who visited the old man before he died?” As much training as we have it’s not that easy putting a puzzle together when you’re missing half the fucking pieces.

“You’re thinking he was sharing information with someone and they were listening in? I want those bugs out of here.” We’d left them in to fuck with whoever was on the receiving end of that shit, but now that we were on their trail I saw no need for it. Whoever we were dealing with had to know that we were good enough to have found the devices by now unless we were dense. That only opened the door to more questions. Why hadn’t the old man suspected, or had he?

“There’s no way to know that since the CO was such a private person. Davey hadn’t seen anyone around except the locals. And we know if the old man was dealing with something he’d have taken steps to keep it contained. If there were any secret meetings between him and anyone they would’ve been done under cover of night.”

“That’s true Con unless he was handling it himself. We all know he had the habit of talking shit out loud to himself. What if whoever planted the bugs knew that? What if that was the reason for them all along?” It had always been a running joke among us that one of the men most trusted with world secrets couldn’t beat the habit of talking to himself. He’d once told us that he’d come up with his best strategies that way.

Lo nodded the okay for the bugs to be taken out and Zak and Ty headed up the stairs to take care of it. I looked out the window into the yard where our homes were, where our women were going about their not so normal day. It figures that I would find my forever in the middle of a shit storm. Nothing in life had ever come easy for me, why should this be any different?

We’d worked for it the seven of us, protected our country, even going above and beyond in our fervor to keep our borders safe. Was it too much to ask to be left the fuck alone to live what was left of our lives in peace?

My brothers had started dropping like flies the second we moved here, no, more like dominoes. Me, I hadn’t been expecting it for myself. I had long accepted that that shit wasn’t for me. I’d been sure that there wouldn’t be anyone out there who could fulfill the raging need I had inside, not for longer than a few encounters anyway.

But then she blew into my life out of nowhere, totally unexpected and turned everything on its head. I didn’t care what it took I knew from day one that I wanted her. She was the first woman who’d made me say ‘fuck it’, I don’t care if she can handle it or not, I will have her.

Because I’m only too aware of the rarity of what I am, I knew it would be selfish of me to ask anyone to sign on for the long haul. With her, I wasn’t giving her a choice I’d made it for her. It may not be fair, and add the fact that she was so young it seemed like a fucked up thing to do, but none of that mattered.

If it had only been my lust that she’d awakened I could’ve fucked her ten ways from Sunday and moved on already. But, there was so much more going on between us, even from the very beginning. The fact that I needed a little bit more out of my wife than my brothers did from theirs is the only reason I haven’t taken her to my bed as yet. Funny, it’s because I’m gonna make her my wife that I’ve had to hold off.

It wouldn’t be fair to her to take her before I showed her what she was getting into. The kind of life she could look forward to once she gave herself over to me completely.

Sometimes in the beginning I’d worried that she might not be strong enough, and that scared me, because I know she’s what I want no ifs ands or buts. But our relationship is not going to be like the others and it’s up to me to make sure that she can handle that.

My brothers have it easy. Their taking the plunge was a no brainer. Not that their relationships are any less than mine, far from it. It’s just that all men are not made the same and I’d be the first to admit that my predilections set me apart, and require a little extra something. Something that not all women are equipped to handle: especially not one so young.

Though being caught up in this mess couldn’t have come at a worse time, I would never regret finding her. I smiled across the way before turning back to the room. Now isn’t the time to take my mind on that trip. Now I have to concentrate on making sure she stays safe, she and all my new sisters.

I went back over what we had so far in my head, but it was like walking into a brick wall every time. You know there’s something on the other side, but you can’t get to it because there’s something in the way. Maybe it was time to climb over that wall.

We might have to change things up a little though. Maybe it’s because I’ve always been the observant one, the one who took everything in and dissected it until it made sense. But I was beginning to think that we were going about this shit all wrong. We’ve never had this much trouble getting to the bottom of shit before, so why now?

I hadn’t said anything until now. I was more than happy to follow the norm. The way we always did on an Op. Logan as the leader of our little gang here had his own ideas about how to deal with the situation. I’ve been following his lead for so long now that I never questioned it. But this wasn’t the frontline where we were fighting for the greater good, to protect a faceless number of people in our home country from terrorist. This shit was personal. Maybe it was time we started treating it that way.