CORAL - Fallen (A Romance Trilogy, Book 2) (36 page)

“No, but’ – “I'm right aren’t I?” I
interrupt.

Tristan shakes his head in exasperation,
runs his hand through his hair and falls back onto the sofa. As he stares up at
the ceiling, I silently wait for him to say something, but it doesn’t come. Climbing
on top of him, so we’re face to face, I pull on his chin so he has to look at
me.

“You would have come back,” I repeat,
knowing I'm right.

He closes his eyes and sighs heavily. “Yes,”
he breathes. “I most certainly would have.”

“Then I'm glad I didn’t tell you,” I say
and lean my head against his chest.

“That’s not the point Coral,” he argues.

“I know it’s not. But how could I have
assured you that I was ok, without you being the hero and coming down to rescue
me, when I didn’t need rescuing?” I say.

“I’d have asked you to stay here, at least
it’s safer,” he tells me sternly. “I don't like the fact that you kept it from
me,” he snaps.

I roll my eyes in exasperation. “But I’ve
proved my point,” I snap back.

“Not necessarily,” he bites.
Grrrrrr!

Sitting back up, I stare down at him in all
his naked glory. “You know, we could argue about this till the cows come home!”
As he looks up at me, I can’t help the grin that starts to form. I don't know
why I'm starting to find it all very funny.

“This is not funny Coral!” he barks.

“No!” I laugh sarcastically, shaking my
head as I do.

“Coral!” Tristan snaps as I try to hide my
tittering. I glance across at him and see his lips are twitching too.

“Oh come on! If we can’t see the funny side’
–“Don't make me laugh,” he smiles. “I'm still mad at you!” But I know I have
him, so I let the laughter burst out of me. He leaps up grabs hold of me and
pulls me onto his lap.

“You are one frustrating woman you know
that!” he growls, trying not to laugh.

“Yes!” I say, giggling uncontrollably.

Tristan shakes his head at me and starts to
laugh. I feel it vibrating through me, warming my very soul, I love his
laugh…and his smile…well, all his different smiles. Wrapping my arms around his
neck, he rocks me gently as we both chuckle away and I hope that Tristan
doesn’t really feel mad at me, I couldn’t stand that.

“Hey.” He pulls back to look at me sternly,
all traces of humor gone. “Next time’ – “Next time?” I squeak interrupting him.
“I really hope there isn’t a next time,” I shudder.

“Point is,” he scolds, his eyebrow raised
sardonically at me.

“I know, I’ll tell you,” I answer.
Thank
heavens for that, we’ve reached a compromise!

“Good girl.” He says kissing my forehead. I
freeze in his arms –
Oh no! He’s said it, one of my worst triggers - This is
what I was afraid off!

All the hairs on the back of my neck stand
on end and my stomach rolls.

“What?” he says, his stature freezing with
me.

I bring my hand to my mouth trying to stop
the sickly feeling, but I know it’s too late, I can feel the swishing of saliva
that comes right before you throw up.

“Coral? What’s wrong?” He says, looking
extremely worried.

I scramble out of his arms, run full pelt
to the kitchen sink, and I'm violently sick. Tristan is next to me in no time
at all, holding my hair back for me and turning on the tap. When my stomach is
empty and I'm dry-retching. I cough and spit trying to get some air into my
lungs so I can speak to him, he needs to know –
He can't ever say those
words to me!

“Would you like some water?” he asks his
voice low and somber.

I nod vigorously as I rinse my mouth out. In
my peripheral vision, I see him trying to hand me a towel. “Here baby.” I take it
off him and dry my mouth.

Standing up tall, I take the glass of water
from him and glug it all back –
Yuck, my stomach feels like it’s full of
battery acid.

“Baby, you didn’t have to tell me if it was
going to upset you this much,” Tristan softly says.

“Stop,” I whisper, my hand in the air and
take a deep steadying breath. “Tristan, you can't ever say that to me,” I say
hoarsely, my throat feeling burned.

He frowns back at me in confusion. “Say what?”
he asks a little bemused.

I swallow hard. I can't even bring myself
to say it out loud, the memories it brings back are too horrific! I close my
eyes, and shake my head in a vain attempt to stop any visions forming in my
mind.

“What you just said when you kissed me,” I
whisper opening my eyes.

Tristan cocks his head to the side, his
face contorted as he tries to figure it out. Then his face falls as the penny
drops. “Why?” he questions, his face going pale.

“Just...please, I'm begging you don't say
it to me again.” I choke, staring up into his wide, worried eyes, mentally
pleading with him to drop it.

He frowns deeply at me and takes a step
back. I can see the frustration, see the anger starting to dwell inside him, he
runs his hands through his hair then shakes his head at me.

“No,” he answers crossing his arms.

“What?” I squeak –
He has to drop this!

“I'm not going to just let this lie Coral.
Why can't I say that to you?” He asks.

I feel like screaming at him. I can't
believe he is questioning me about this! We are stark naked in the kitchen for
god’s sake. I stomp past him, back into the living room, and grab the throw.
Wrapping it around me, I walk back through the kitchen towards the stairs.

“Where are you going?” he barks as he
starts to follow me.

“Upstairs, I need my Gaviscon out of my
bag!” I shout back my stomach rolling again.

“Coral!” Tristan shouts, reaching out he
grabs me by the arm instantly stopping me. “Your bags are still in the car.” He
states.

Feeling frustrated, I yank my arm out of
his hold and stomp towards the front door. Tristan reaches me again, and steps
in front of me.

I instantly freeze. “Please move,” I
tremble, feeling nauseous -
I really need that Gaviscon!

Sighing heavily he reaches out to me, I
take a step back from him. I don’t want him to touch me right now.

“Jesus fucking Christ Coral! What happened
to you?” he bawls. I shake my head and cower away from him. “Coral!” he shouts,
frustrated.

“No!” I shout back, and with trembling legs
I walk over to the sofa, curl up into a ball and hide my head under the throw
so I don't have to look at him.

“Fuck!” I hear him hiss. Then I hear the
front door opening, a few moments later I feel Tristan take my hand and place
something in it, looking down I see the bottle of Gaviscon.

“Thanks,” I whimper.

Opening the bottle, I take two swigs of it.
I feel it instantly numb the burning sensation, soothing my esophagus as it
makes its way down to my empty burning stomach. Then I take another gulp, just
to be sure it does the job. Tristan sits on the coffee table in front of me, he’s
put his boxer shorts on, and he’s leaning forward with his elbows resting on
his knees. He has his face in his hands and he’s staring down at the floor.

“I can’t do this,” he says, his voice
trembling slightly.
What!

I stop breathing and stare back at him with
wide terrified eyes. I feel my soul crack in two and the newly made stitches in
my heart rip open.

“What?” I whisper, my voice barely audible.
No, no, no this isn’t happening!

He looks up at me, his expression torn,
oh
fuck!

“I can’t keep doing this, pretending like
it doesn’t matter why you’re the way you are. You have to let me in Coral or’ –
“Or what?” I whimper.

Tristan shakes his head and holds his face
in his hands again –
Oh fuck…No, Tristan!

“Tristan,” I whimper. “You said you
wouldn’t’ – “I know what I said Coral,” he snaps, exasperated – I feel like I'm
spiralling
out of control, my hearing has gone, my head feels
woozy, and my body suddenly feels numb. Yet, I'm filled with dread, I know
what’s coming, what I always knew would come –
Eventually!

Finally meeting my terrified gaze, he
stares back at me with wide, dark ominous eyes. “You’re leaving me no choice
Coral, I don't want to lose you, and I certainly don't want to end this, but
I'm not going to spend the rest of my life walking round on eggshells,
constantly worrying if I'm saying or doing the wrong thing. I can't live like
that…I thought I could but...” Tristan eyes fill with tears as I stare back in
horror.
I can't believe I'm hearing this!

“So I'm giving you an ultimatum,” he says
swallowing hard. “I love you baby, more than I’ve ever loved anyone else,” he
closes his eyes in desperation. “So please, I'm begging you, tell me what
happened so we can move forward otherwise...” He slowly shakes his head.

“Otherwise?” I squeak.

“It’s over…I’m done,” he croaks.
No!

I try to swallow, but I have no moisture
left in my mouth. Closing my eyes, I try to push the terrifying feeling away –
This
is not happening, I'm dreaming, I must be!

I hear movement, opening my eyes I see
Tristan slowly stand in front of me.

“That’s it then,” he trembles.

“Tristan,” I whimper. Reaching out, I take
hold if his hand and entwine our fingers, but he stops me with his free hand
and gently parts our fingertips.

“I'm sorry Coral…I can't,” he chokes.
I
don’t understand, how did it get to this?

My eyes fill with unshed tears. I look up
at his tall dark stature staring down at me in complete bewilderment.
Coral!
You have to tell him!

“Tristan please...don’t do this,” I
whimper.

He sniffs loudly, takes a deep rasping
breath and finally looks down at me. “I'm sorry,” he chokes out.
No!

I watch him slowly turn, and stagger away
from me. I want to die. I’d rather be dead than lose him. I squeeze my eyes
shut, trying to block out the unbelievable pain that’s lancing through me.

The empty hole that was once filled with
love for Tristan suddenly fills with emptiness, there’s nothing but a black hole,
a deep dark black hole; it fits perfectly with my dark twisted soul. I feel so
full of anger and hatred that I want to scream at the top of my lungs!

I don't know how it got to this?
Tell
him!
I know I have no choice, if I don’t want this to end, I have to tell
him, I may lose him anyway, but at least I can say I tried, I have to try!

“Tristan!” I screech, hoping his retreating
figure will stop. His steps falter, then he stops and slowly turns to me, his
eyes hooded, his breathing matching mine.
Fuck!

I can't believe I'm about to tell him this!
I feel so sick, and my throat feels so dry, I'm not sure I’ll get the words
out. “Ok,” I croak closing my eyes. “I’ll tell you, but can I please have a
glass of water?” I hear Tristan’s footsteps patter across the tiled kitchen
floor –
You can do this!
I repeat to myself over, and over again. I jump
in shock when Tristan takes my hand, I hadn’t heard him reach me.

Opening my eyes he places the glass of
water in my hand and sits on the coffee table opposite me. I take several
gulps.
You can do this!

“I hate you for this,” I mumble and take a
deep breath. I know I can’t look at him while I get this out, so I fix my stare
blankly ahead and begin. “When my Dad left and Kelly died, it was just me and
my Mom.” I take a breath and blow it out slowly.
I don't want to remember!

“She…did I tell you she was a nurse?” I ask
glancing across at him. Tristan silently nods his head at me then stares at the
floor.

I fix my gaze on the fireplace. “She worked
a lot of shifts, so the lady next door would take me,” I say nodding to myself.
I feel numb, like I'm not in my own body, like someone else is telling the
story, I take another deep breath.

“You see, it wasn’t long between my Dad
leaving and Mom quitting work, so the babysitting only went on for about six
months. I didn’t know that back then my Mom was already dependant on
prescription drugs,” I take another drink of water. “And I didn’t know that
she’d become an alcoholic, I guess that’s why she became so abusive towards me.
She would have violent mood swings, her behaviour became more and more erratic
and sometimes I would find her curled up in a ball rocking herself, constantly
mumbling’ –“How old were you?” Tristan softly interrupts. When I look up at
him, we lock eyes for a second. “Five I guess,” I stare back at the fireplace.

“So the nice lady next door used to look
after me, they had a son that was my age called Martin, and for the short time
we were together we became really good friends, and his Mom was great…you know,
just one of those women that was a natural at it, born to be a Mom.” I take a drink
of water and swallow hard.

“I think she knew something was wrong, that
my Mom wasn’t taking proper care of me. I was always so hungry when she’d come
round to pick me up. Then shortly after that, they upped and left, I don't know
why, I was too young to know I guess…”