Authors: Shannon West
I pulled on it again. “Maybe it’s messed up, but this wall is hollow. Bang on it and you can see for yourself.”
He squatted down beside it and rapped firmly on the panel. It sounded firm and solid beneath his hand, absolutely no hollow thunks reverberated back like the night before. Frantic, I pushed him aside and banged on it again.
“Gavin…” he said softly.
“No! It’s here! It opened for me last night and I stuck my head inside. Why else would there be a lever? It smelled musty and stale inside—I didn’t dream it, Connor Todd! I didn’t!”
He reached for my arm to steady me. “Okay, calm down. We’ll figure this out. Maybe it’s on the other side of the closet.”
I pulled away and got down on my knees, banging on each side in turn, but only solid sounding raps answered back. I turned to look up at him. “I don’t understand. This is some kind of trick! The intruder must have come back and done something.”
He reached for me again and this time I let him pull me into his arms. I was feeling shaky and embarrassed and angry all at once. It wasn’t bad enough that someone had come into my house. No, because now whoever was doing this was playing tricks on me and making me look crazy. I leaned back and looked up at Connor Todd. “You think I’m lying, don’t you? Or that I dreamed the whole thing? You think I’m…”
“No. I don’t think anything like that. I’m not sure what’s going on, actually.”
“Except for the fact that I’m hallucinating the whole thing, right?”
I stormed past him and made it as far as the door, when he caught up to me and pulled me around to face him. “God, you’re prickly! I don’t know what’s going on, Gavin, but I don’t think you’re lying or hallucinating, okay?”
His arms felt good around me, and I leaned into him. He hesitated only a second before he drew me in closer and kissed the side of my neck. Turning into his big body, I wrapped both arms around his waist, pressing myself up against him. I was tired of being at odds with him. I pulled his head down to me and kissed his soft lips. My heart was hammering in my chest and the touch of our lips was electric. I pulled back to look up into his eyes. If I’d seen any pity there, I’d have pulled away, but I only saw warmth and affection.
“I need you, Connor,” I said, lowering my eyelashes so I wouldn’t have to see his rejection if it came.
He took in a long, shaky breath. I knew he was attracted to me, but I also knew he had decided not to do this again or at least not until the investigation was over. To help sway him in my favor, I put my hand over his groin and massaged his balls gently. He jumped when I touched his balls, like I’d given him an electric shock.
With a muttered curse, he pulled me down the hall to my bedroom and pushed open the door. He stopped there and looked down at me. “What do you want?”
“I want you inside me. I want you to take control of me.” I flicked my tongue against his bottom lip, and he responded with a sigh, parting his lips to allow me in. His arms were strong around me, and I could feel a definite ridge of hard flesh digging into my hip. I groaned and rubbed myself against him, embarrassed by how shameless I was being, but not caring at that moment. I needed him too badly.
He pushed back against me and reached down to grip my ass. He picked me up off my feet and walked the few steps to the bed, not even taking a break from the kiss that went on and on. Releasing me, his hands moved to take off his jacket, and I pulled my t-shirt over my head and shimmied out of my jeans. I could barely wait to feel his naked body against mine. I needed to feel real, to ground myself. I wanted him to take me without any lube or condom—to hurt me and make me scream. I knew he wouldn’t do it, though, so I didn’t ask him.
He shoved at his clothes and soon he was free of them. I tilted my head back as he pulled me near him, grabbing my ass again, sliding our bodies together and kissing me. I took time to savor his taste and scent and the feel of his mouth moving over mine. He laid me down and I jerked my head toward the bedside table. “In there,” I said, and he opened the drawer and took out lube and a condom.
“Prepared, huh?”
I shrugged. “You never know.”
His mouth firmed to a grim line. “That’s right. That’s how we met the first time, isn’t it? You bring a lot of men home, do you?”
I shrugged, not liking how the conversation was turning. I needed him to shut up and get on with it. “Not a lot, no. I was with Miguel for a long time.”
“Miguel…” His expressive lips turned downward. “Why is it you call everyone by their first and last names except for that son-of-a-bitch?”
“Connor…”
“No, I’m curious.” His erection was flagging a little with all this talking, and he sank down on the side of the bed beside me.
“I don’t like to talk about him.”
“Why not? He was your lover, wasn’t he? You lived together for over two years.”
“It-it wasn’t like that, exactly.”
“Then what was it like? Exactly?”
I sat up beside him and gave him a little push. “Just go, Connor. I’m not talking about Miguel with you.”
He pushed me back down and leaned over me, putting a hand on my chest. “Relax, we’re just talking. I’m curious, that’s all.”
“No!” I said, flinging off his hand. “I won’t talk about him because he’s dead! He’s dead and he’s never coming back, and I don’t ever have to think about him again.” I turned away from him and buried my face in the pillow beside me. I was trembling a little and Connor put a warm hand on my back.
“Gavin, I’m sorry.” He stretched out next to me and spooned me, pulling me close to him. “I shouldn’t have brought it up.” He nuzzled the back of my neck. “Sorry, baby,” he said again.
I half-turned toward him, so he could kiss the side of my face. His lips found mine and I twisted around to greet them. His hands stroked me, and soon I felt the silky liquid of the lube working into my tensed muscles. I relaxed and allowed him to pet and pamper me with his expert, wicked fingers.
When I began writhing around and moaning, he finally pushed up my leg, and I felt pressure against my entrance. The friction of his warm flesh felt good, and the muscles around my hole started fluttering a little. I put my head back against his shoulder, wanting to feel his strong arms around me, to feel safe and loved if only for a little while. He pushed gently into me and then harder as I relaxed around him. He put his hand on my sack, kneading and massaging me as he rocked against me.
It was gentle in a way and sweet, but that wasn’t the way I needed it. Trying to relax, I arched pleasurably back into him, and he kissed my neck, nuzzling me again. He began to tell me how beautiful I was, how sweet, and he called me silly names that I loved, even if they made no sense.
He pulled away for a second and I felt a huge sense of loss, but he simply pulled me up to kneel in front of him and then pushed back in even harder. Finally. I pushed back against him. “Harder, Connor. Faster, please!”
He was so big, much bigger than Miguel had been, for all his bragging. A delicious ache filled me, and I ground back on it. He had one hand beneath me, resting on my lower stomach, brushing my cock and pulling me up tight against him. He held me there for a long moment and then blessedly started to move, pounding into me now, cradling me tightly until I was shattering inside, as if all the hurt inside me had crystallized into a round ball that was cracking and splintering into a million insignificant pieces.
Everything was building inside me to a peak, and then he was coming inside me, groaning and straining his big body against mine. I could feel the hot cum inside me, even through the condom, burning and branding me from the inside out. I felt my own release slamming into me, and I cried out his name as he ground his hips for me one last time. We collapsed on the bed together, his arm still tight around me as I shivered with little aftershocks.
He held me for a long time, until I thought he was asleep, but then he rose and threw away the condom before crawling back in beside me to spoon me again. His fingers played idly with the soft hair at my groin, and he dropped an occasional kiss on the back of my neck. It had been a long time since I’d felt so safe and warm in someone’s arms, or maybe I’d never felt like this before. I closed my eyes and let myself drift away.
****
When I awoke I was alone, the covers pulled over and tucked around me. I struggled out of them and listened to the silence in the house
. Had Connor gone? Just as I was about to get up and see for myself, I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Tensing a little I waited to see if the footsteps were coming to my door or moving down the hall. It was a great relief when my door opened and Connor stepped in, smiling at me.
“You had a rough night last night, so I thought I’d let you nap a bit.”
Stretching, I smiled at him and patted the bed beside me, but he shook his head. “Oh no, you don’t. I have work to do today, and you’re far too tempting. I’ve been downstairs looking at your locks. I can’t see any way in the doors, so if someone’s coming in they’ve found another way. I even went in the basement, but there are bars on those windows and everything looked secure.”
I sat up on the side of the bed and reached for my jeans. “So we’re back to me imagining the whole thing?”
“I didn’t say that, did I?”
“You don’t have to. I can see it on your face.”
“Damn it, Gavin, I want to trust you—to believe you. But you’re not giving me a chance. Isn’t it just possible that you had a really vivid dream?” At my look, he held up both hands in front of him. “I’m just asking.”
I turned my back on him and pulled on my t-shirt. I didn’t want him to see my face, but he pulled me around to look at him. “Listen to me. Stop shutting me out. I want to help you, but you won’t let me. Sometimes you speak about Miguel like he’s a bad memory, but you lived with the man for two years—you painted the forgeries for him, even though you knew it was against the law. You admitted that to me! I don’t know what kind of hold he had over you, but you’re still keeping his secrets. If you know where he stashed the missing paintings, you need to tell me so this can be over.”
I pulled away from him and stood glaring at him. “I’ve explained to you about the forgeries, as you call them, and I’m not keeping anything from you! I don’t know where the paintings are! He never told me
anything
.”
Connor Todd shook his head. “How can that be, Gavin? You were his partner.”
“His
partner
?” I laughed and even to my own ears it sounded a little hysterical. “Is that what you think? You want to know why I called him Miguel? He
made
me do it! He knew I called people by both their names so he told me he was different. I couldn’t call him Master in front of people, so instead, I’d call him Miguel, and every time I said it, we’d both know the truth. That I belonged to him. That I was his property—his whore—and he would do whatever he wanted with me.
“He
used
me, like he used everyone else. Yes, I lived with him for two years, because he told me he’d kill me if I left him. And I believed him! He came close to doing it many times. He
hurt
me, Connor. He liked to hurt me, and—and sometimes…sometimes I
liked
it when he did. Sometimes…I goaded him a little, because I wanted him to hurt me—maybe even to go too far and just end it.” I turned to look up at him and he looked shocked, his eyes round and wide as he stared down at me.
I nodded, smiling a little. “That’s right. I’m sick in the head! He told me how sick I was and that no one else could ever accept it but him. He could take care of me, hurt me the way I liked it. ‘
A deviant mind in every way, Gavin, that’s what you have,’
he’d say.
‘You’re sick, but I know how to take care of you. I’ve got your medicine right here.’”
Connor Todd tried to reach for me again, but I danced away and backed up against the wall. “Please just go. I don’t know anything to help you.”
“I don’t want to leave you like this. Let’s go downstairs and talk for a while.”
“Please. If you care for me at all, just go. I can’t do this right now. You can come back over later, if you like, but right now I really want to be alone.”
He still didn’t look convinced, but when he reached for me and I turned away, he sighed and stepped back. “Okay, I’ll go for now, but this isn’t over. I have to go out of town to talk to someone who worked with Santiago, but I’ll be back tonight. We’re talking then.” Pointing a finger at me, he waited until I finally nodded. “Okay, then.” He hesitated for another moment like he wanted to say more, but then turned and walked out.
Wearily, I straightened up and listened for the sound of the front door closing behind him. When I heard it, I went downstairs, locked the door, and went into my studio. I had neglected my painting long enough. Steven Oswald was waiting for it and I needed to finish it. I gathered my supplies and went to work.
I worked until late afternoon, only stopping long enough to grab something to eat. By the time I was satisfied, my back was aching. My phone had rung a couple of times during the day, but I’d ignored it, so I picked it up now to see who’d been calling. I saw that Steven Oswald had called three times, probably checking on the painting. He’d left a message saying he had a client already lined up. Andrea Jones had called too, but no calls from Connor.
I called Steven Oswald back, but he never picked up. I left him a message telling him I was almost finished and that I’d have the painting for him by the end of the week. Then I called Andrea Jones, and she invited me to dinner with her family. I tried to get out of it but she was insistent and told me her husband would be by in twenty minutes to pick me up, so I’d better get my ass in gear.
Smiling, I went upstairs and jumped in the shower, then quickly dressed in a new outfit. Still just jeans and a sweater, but I knew better than to come scruffy to Andrea Jones’ house. Her husband and youngest son were right on time to pick me up, and I enjoyed the boy’s chatter all the way to her house.
When I’d stayed with her family after she sprang me from the hospital, I’d shared a room with twelve- year-old Joseph, so we had a lot to catch up on. We both loved video games, so he had to tell me all about his latest acquisition, and I promised to play a game with him after dinner.