Cool Campers (9 page)

“Oh well, I guess we should stop saying
dude
. Heidi and Diane thought it was weird too.”

Graham lowered his eyebrows and looked me square in the eyes. “No way,” he said. “No one's going to tell me what it means to be myself. Maybe being myself is saying
dude
. Or maybe I'll want to eat a mixture of gross stuff tomorrow at lunch. Actually, that's exactly what I'll do tomorrow.”

“Not me. I think I'd puke.” I shivered just imagining it. “I guess maybe I'm fine with not being cool.”

“Come on,
hermano
,” Graham said. “We don't have to spend our lives being geeks. If we want to be the Amazing Raymond and Graham, then what's stopping us? Wouldn't you like to hear the entire lodge chanting our names after dinner?” I thought about it for a minute. That would be pretty cool.

“It would be awesome to be the most popular kids at camp,” I told Graham. “But I don't know if I'm willing to eat that junk to make it happen.”

“Of course you are, man!” Graham got up and stood right in front of me. “We can do this. We're a team, like Mark and that other guy.” Graham paused for a moment. “Wow, he's the second most popular kid in camp, and no one even knows his name. It's always Mark Herron and that other guy.”

“Yeah, weird.” I shook my head.

“Wait, that's it, Raymond,” Graham said. “This is what we're going to do. I'm going to be the other guy, and I'll announce you after dinner. Then I'll mix up a bunch of stuff for you to eat.”

“What? Why me? Why can't
you
eat that stuff and
I'll
be the announcer?” I wasn't sure how this conversation suddenly turned from Graham being willing to eat the gross mixture to him announcing and me eating it.

“It has to be you,” Graham said. “It's just like in baseball. I was the catcher trash-talking behind the plate, getting the batter nervous, so you could come in for the kill with your awesome fastball.” I wasn't sure that these two situations were the same, but somehow hearing about my fastball made me feel strong, like I could do anything.

“You're right! We have just as much right as Mark and that other guy to be popular. Tomorrow night those guys are in for some competition.”

Graham and I swung our hands up in the air to give each other a high five, but we missed. “It's just getting dark,” Graham said.

“One thing though,” I said. “I know no one can tell us not to say
dude
, but I kind of agree with Carl.”

“No problem. I hate to admit it, but I'm getting sick of it too,” said Graham. We went into the cabin and said goodnight to BB and Tiny without using the word
dude
at all.

UNLIKE THE NIGHT
before, we slept like logs. We were so tired we didn't even hear Toad's song in the morning. He had to come into our cabin and wake us up.

We were all excited about today. This was our day at the lake. After breakfast, David's patrol would be on their hike most of the day, so we wouldn't have to see them at all. I was hoping I'd get to retake my swim test. My foot felt completely better, and I knew I could pass it this time.

We got dressed and went to the mess hall for breakfast. It was cereal, muffins, and fruit today. The Muscular Monsters walked in behind us.

“Hey, Toad Claws. You'd better save a pair of clean underpants for Friday. You're going to need them.”

We just ignored David and sat down by the Fighting Eagles. Graham sat next to me and told me I should practice mixing my food up and eating it.

“Good idea,” I said. I had a banana, so I cut some pieces up and put it in my cereal. Then I put in a couple of strawberries too. “Okay, here goes,” I said. I put a big spoonful in my mouth, prepared for the disgusting taste. It was actually pretty good. “Hey, I'm going to be good at this. It's not bad.”

“What do you mean? You just have cereal and fruit. That stuff always goes together.” Graham shook his head. He grabbed the salt and pepper shakers and started sprinkling them in my bowl. Then he pulled off a piece of his muffin and dropped it in.

“Try that.” He took my spoon and stirred it all up.

I looked at the soggy mess and decided to pass. “I'm kind of full,” I said. “Plus, I don't think you're supposed to eat too much before you go swimming.” I picked up my tray and brought it over to the cleaning area. Then I grabbed a new muffin for the road.

We spent almost the entire morning in the lake. Fortunately, I was able to take my swim test again, and I passed. There were huge tubes to play on and a big rope that you could swing on before dropping into the water.

Toad stayed and swam with us too. He had this crazy swimsuit that was like a tank top and swimming trunks all in one. No one could swing higher than Toad on the rope. He swung really high and yelled “Yahoo!” as he flew through the air.

“It's Superbug to the rescue!” BB screamed, as he swung out over the water. He even did one flip after he let go of the rope. Graham tried a flip too, but he landed on his sunburned back.

By the time lunch came, we were starving. They were serving chili and cornbread. Our patrol decided to eat outside on the grass under a big tree.

Graham had a grin on his face. “You guys know what chili does to you, don't you?” he said.

“Do I ever,” Tiny said. “You guys are in for a smelly time tonight.” The look on Tiny's face made me a little scared to sleep in the cabin with him.

After lunch we spent the afternoon in arts and crafts making dream catchers, weaving string across these wooden hoops in whatever design we wanted. They're supposed to catch bad dreams.

“With this, I'm going to have sweet dreams of Kelly every night,” Graham announced.

“And I'm going to dream of catching every bug on the planet,” BB said.

Tiny shivered. “Not me! That would be a nightmare. I hope my dream catcher stops all of those bug dreams from getting into my brain.”

Carl said he wanted to have dreams about living in a huge chocolate house that he could just pick at and eat all day long. That made sense to me, since he seemed to like picking things.

As dinnertime rolled around I was getting nervous. In the food line, I said to Graham, “Do you really think I should eat all that gross stuff?”

“Trust me, Raymond. Sometimes you have to do things you don't like if you want to be cool.”

“I'm just getting a little nervous.”

“Just imagine all those kids chanting your name. ‘Raymond, Raymond,'” he whispered in my ear. He was right. Eating a little bit of gross food would be worth having everyone like me.

We loaded our trays and sat down. I didn't eat very much for fear that I would throw up when I ate the mixture afterward.

“Now, how should I announce you? I can't call you Amazing Raymond. Mark already has
amazing
in his name. It needs to start with an
R
, like Raymond. How about Rainy Raymond?”

“Rainy Raymond?” I said. “That doesn't even make sense.”

“Just brainstorming. What are some other
R
words?
Ripple
,
ring
,
run
,
robot
,
raging
. That's it: Raging Raymond.”

“Raging Raymond,” I repeated. “I like it.”

Just then, Mark's friend announced, “The Amazing Mark is ready for his nightly show!”

“Dang,” Graham said. “I wanted to go first. Oh well, these kids can't get enough of this stuff. We'll do it right after.”

Dinner had been tacos and more applesauce. Mark took his shell and loaded it with meat, mustard, applesauce, and salad dressing, and poured on some milk. I was gagging just watching Mark mix it up. The sick mixture was oozing out of the ends of the taco.

A loud “ooh” filled the lodge as he bit into it. It was his best performance yet. As people started leaving, Graham jumped up on the bench.

“Don't leave, everyone. Round two is about to begin, featuring Raging Raymond and his Spoonful of Doom!” Unfortunately, no one seemed to care. A few people looked over at Graham as they left, but they didn't stop.

“Don't you mean, ‘featuring Raymond the Dork'?” David yelled over from across the room.

Graham rubbed his hand through his hair, then exclaimed, “Wait, people! Tomorrow night you will see something
really
amazing. Raging Raymond is not going to eat a simple mixture of food. Instead he will eat . . . A WORM!” Suddenly everyone stopped and turned back.

“That's right, Grizzlies—a worm straight from the Camp Grizzly dirt.” Graham motioned for me to stand up. Instead, I pulled him down.

“See you all tomorrow!” Graham shouted from his seat.

“What are doing?” I cried. “Why did you promise everyone that I would eat a worm?” I put my head on the table and closed my eyes. There was no way I was ever going to eat a worm. As I sat there wondering how Graham could do this to me, his best friend, I heard the sound I had dreamed about.

“Raymond, Raymond!” they were all chanting. I looked up and everyone was gathering around our table.

I stood up and waved at everyone.

“Yes, tomorrow night I will eat a worm!”

Mark came up to me and gave me a high five. “Dude, this will be awesome! The Amazing Mark eating Herron's Heap and then Raging Raymond eating a worm for dessert. We are quite the team, dude.”

“See,” Graham said. “I knew it! We're the talk of camp. How does it feel?”

“Incredible,” I said. “It feels incredible.”

After dinner we all gathered in front of the lodge by the flagpole. Each patrol yelled its cheer, trying to show they had the most spirit. And of course, we sang a few more songs. Afterward, Toad had to go to a staff meeting, so we had to have Roses, Thorns, and Buds without him. Unfortunately, we weren't allowed to start a fire by ourselves. We all brought out our flashlights instead. As each Toad Claw stood up to speak, the rest of us pointed our flashlights at him, like a spotlight.

Almost everyone's bud was that they were looking forward to seeing me eat a worm the next night. It was so different from the last night, when everyone was mad about hearing us say
dude
all the time. Now everyone thought we were the greatest, and all it took was promising to eat a worm.

Wait a minute,
I thought. As I sat there listening to everyone sing my praises, I suddenly realized that I was really going to have to
eat a worm
!

THE NEXT DAY
was going to be either the best day of my life or the worst. Not only did I have the worm thing, but we would have to pay up if we lost our bet with David's patrol. The rest of the Toad Claws were excited about the Olympics. They weren't nearly as nervous as I was about losing and having to wear underpants for hats.

That night I couldn't sleep. I wanted to talk to one of my cabinmates, but Graham and Tiny had fallen asleep the second their heads hit the pillow, and BB was lying awake in bed but said he didn't feel like talking. He seemed upset about something, but I didn't know what.

I must have finally fallen asleep, because all of a sudden the gong startled me awake. At breakfast, the whole dining hall was buzzing about the Olympics. Even the staff was excited. Fuzzy stood in front by the fireplace and asked, “Who thinks they're going to win the Olympics?”

Everyone screamed and cheered. Then Fuzzy explained how the Olympics would work. There would be six different events. Each team would choose two people to compete in each event. The events were running, swimming, a log toss, an archery shoot, a rope climb, and an obstacle course. He held up a big map of the camp that showed where each event would take place.

“This is going to be awesome,” Graham said. “The only thing better than seeing David's underpants on the Grizzly statue will be seeing them on his head after he loses.”

“Do you really think we can win?” I asked.

“Of course I do,” Graham answered with confidence. “Just look at our team.”

I looked over at BB, who was standing on his tiptoes trying to see the map Fuzzy was holding. Tiny was turned backward, not even paying attention. Carl was picking his nose as usual, only this time he was using his pinky. And Lizzy-Boy had his arms pulled inside his T-shirt with only his hands sticking out of the armholes. He was pretending he had really short arms. “I hope you're right,” I said.

Fuzzy dismissed us and we all got together with our patrols to decide who would compete in each event.

“I think BB should definitely do the swimming,” I suggested. “He's like a fish.”

BB took a bow and said, “Thank you, thank you.” Toad wrote his name down.

“What about the rest of you guys?” Toad asked. At first, no one said anything. Finally Carl volunteered for running. After that, everyone started shouting out what events they wanted. I chose the obstacle course with Graham. Tiny didn't choose anything, so he got stuck with the rope climb.

“Are you all right with the rope climb?” Toad asked. I think he wondered if Tiny could pull his big body all the way up the rope.

“I'm fine with it,” Tiny said cheerfully.

The competitor that came in first place in each event would get three points, the second-place competitor would get two, and the third-place competitor would get one. After all the games were played, the points would be totaled, and the team with the most points would win.

The footrace was the first event. Carl and Lizzy-Boy were our runners. The race was from the lodge to the lake and back again, so we all gathered near the starting line in front of the lodge.