Convictions: Kelly and Stephen (2 page)

When she stepped inside it was with pleasant surprised that she found the “dilapidated” cabin he had mentioned to be anything but.  The room she entered was a great room, in name only, not size.  It was cozy and comfortably furnished, with a cathedral ceiling that made the room seem larger than it actually was.  The space had been meticulously completed by someone who took great pride in his work.

There were all the usual finishing touches of a craftsman, like crown molding, wood trim, and real hard wood floors.  It was perfect right down to the bear skin rug in front of a stone fireplace.  Kelly found it strange for a man alone in the Alaskan wilderness to care about such things as pictures on the wall and built in book cases.  She couldn’t help but wonder if a woman had once been involved with this room’s design.

She knew nothing about this man whose home she had just entered but this great room, his great room, beckoned her in and welcomed her.  Being in this room stirred a desire within Kelly to be in his life.  There was obviously much to learn about Stephen, and the thought of having a chance to do so gave her pleasure.

He held out his arm motioning her in the direction of two large over stuffed reclining chairs.  She took the chair closest to the fireplace.  The fire was warm and inviting. 

Kelly was the first to speak “this isn’t at all what I had pictured.” 

“You don’t like it?” he asked, frowning from concern. 

She found it somehow comforting to think that he cared about her opinion.  “Oh no, that’s not what I meant; it’s wonderful.” she answered.  “But you told me you bought a dilapidated cabin?  This is anything but.” 

Stephen’s laugh was low and soft, causing tiny shivers to travel their way up her arms when he replied “it was when I bought it; I’ve done a lot of work.”

“Would you like something to drink?” he asked as if it was an afterthought.

“Sure.”

He disappeared down a hallway coming back a moment later with a sheepish look which only served to accentuate his sexiness.  “All I have is beer, or water.”

Kelly laughed “a beer would be great.”

He went back down the hall, returning with two bottles of beer.  He twisted the top off of one and, leaning over her slightly, handed it to her.  Kelly was once again put in the position of having to choose where to focus her attention. 

Twisting the top off of the second bottle, he took the chair next to her.  They sipped their beers and quietly watched the fire’s flames dance.

Kelly was surprised that she didn’t feel anxious or nervous.  She was completely comfortable sitting here in front of a perfect stranger’s perfect fire, inside of his perfect cabin.  It felt like being wrapped in a warm fleece blanket on a chilly fall day.  The shivers were spreading, though not from cold.

“This is nice” she said, at first not realizing that she had said it out loud.  She turned to meet his gaze, his gray eyes were now soft and glowing with appreciation in the firelight.  It was those eyes that had first attracted her to him.  They were a most unusual gray, reminding her of a wolf or some sort of wild animal with their intensity and color.  At times they could be dark, if he were emotionally charged, she imagined.  Other times, like now, they could be light and soft when he was apparently comfortable and relaxed. 

As she continued to study his eyes she noted that they were darkening quickly.  She felt as if he was trying to tell her something, tying to signal a need or hunger through the intensity of his eyes.  In another place, another time, that intensity would have surely scared her off.  But not tonight, she wanted to be here as much as he needed her to be.

Stephen studied her now.  Her green eyes were hypnotic, almost cat like.  The first time he had made eye contact with her in the store, he had been captured; hopelessly lost, and something deep inside of him had been changed. 

He studied her lips.  They were sensual and soft; they were made to be kissed.  He desperately wanted to kiss them now but he had made a decision when he opened the door to find her on his door step.  He would let her set the tempo.  Sensing that she had a cautious nature, he certainly didn’t want to scare her away, or come on too strong like he had already done once in the store. 

From what he could see of her dressed in her work clothes, she was every inch a woman, with curves in all the right places and he looked forward with great anticipation to any opportunity she might give him for further exploration.  But it had to be her decision, her move, because if she were to give herself to him, for him it would need to be completely.  He couldn’t bear it if he were ever to find regret or second thoughts in those beautiful eyes.  His heart was already so completely invested in her.

After a few minutes more of silence and fire watching, he asked “would you like to see the rest?”  Kelly’s eyes again met his, this time the need in hers matching his.  She nodded. 

He stood and held his hand out to her.  She placed hers in his and he gently lifted her out of her chair.  His skin was hot to her touch. 

Stephen immediately knew that he had made a mistake.  Just the feel of her hand in his was shredding what little willpower he might have.  He led her back down the same hall he had come from with the beers and when they got to the end of the hall he dropped her hand to flick on a light switch.  He felt sure that his self-control would be further tested before this night was over. 

Light revealed what was once a kitchen and presumably will be again, but at this moment it was a mess.  Part of the ceiling was torn out and rafters could be seen.  When Kelly looked up he commented “my project from a few weeks back.”   She smiled, slightly embarrassed remembering the encounter. 

“Now that the roof is fixed I plan to put a ceiling back up in the coming weeks.  Eventually I’ll finish the rest.” he explained before tilting his head back to drain his remaining beer.  Just this simple movement caused her knees go a bit weak as she noticed the muscles that rippled along his abdomen to do so. 

He sat the empty bottle in the sink and considered retrieving another, but decided against it.  He didn’t want Kelly to think he drank too much.  He also didn’t want to be caught in a beer haze if this proceeded along the path that he was hoping it would.  No, no more beer; he wanted to be fully engaged in anything that might happen here tonight.  Instead he turned back to watch her appraisal of his work. 

Halfway across the room, behind where he stood, a sheath of plastic hung from the ceiling running from wall to wall.  He caught Kelly’s glance at the plastic “just trying to keep the dust out of the completed half.” 

Kelly moved across the room with the intended purpose of peeking into the finished half but he stopped her before she could get there.  He didn’t want her to see his design until the kitchen was finished.  Standing in front of her, blocking her way he smiled down at her “No, not until it’s all done.” 

Being that close to him she could smell the clean sent of his soap; she wanted to put her nose to his chest and inhale deeply.  Her eyes twinkled up at him as she leaned slightly in to reach around him for an edge of plastic.  

Breaking his vow not to touch her again, he caught her forearm in his right hand pulling it back towards him, but not letting it go.  He wanted to run his fingers through her hair but he reached out to capture a tendril that lay near her shoulder instead.  Wrapping the curl around his finger, he used it to gently pull her in closer.  So much for her making the first move, so much for his self-control. 

His soft breath on her hair caused her nerve endings to come alive.  She shivered with expectation and a voice in her head said “it’s now or never”.  As she pressed herself into his arms and their eyes connected she whispered “make love to me”. 

He thought he’d imagined it, her voice had barely been a whisper, but seeing the request echoed in her eyes was the only signal he needed.  His hunger for her unleashed, he gave her no time to register his reaction as his arms closed around her, pulling her tightly against him.  His head came down to meet her and his mouth claimed hers. 

His lips were warm and strong, as his tongue expertly explored her mouth seeking and demanding her response.  Her hands clung to his broad, muscular shoulders and her head spun with the convergence of many new sensations.

After a few moments, he forced himself to pull back from her soft, sweet, and surprisingly responsive mouth.  He searched her eyes for any signs of doubt, giving her the opportunity to pull away if she needed to.  He wanted her to be sure because they were approaching the point of no return for him.  But she didn’t pull away.  Instead her answer was another kiss, equal to his in longing and desire as she pressed her body even further into his. 

A low groan came from somewhere deep inside him when his hands cupped her bottom and lifted her up onto the counter, pressing her loins tight against his; his erection was immediate and immense.  His tongue traced its way from her lips, across her jaw line, down her throat to the hollow of her neck, where the top two buttons of her shirt were undone.  She let out a soft moan from the heat of his mouth which seemed to scorch both her skin and her soul at the same time.

His hands went to work on the buttons of her shirt.  He wanted to rip it off, so badly was his need to feel and to taste her skin.

Kelly ran her hands across his shoulders down to his toned chest and from there down across his washboard abdomen.  She’d never in her life placed her hands on anything so splendid. 

He had her shirt completely unbuttoned.  His lips burned their way across the tops of her breasts inhaling her scent as he went, desperate for more. 

Kelly’s core burned with desire to a degree she couldn’t recall having ever felt before.  The pleasure that his every touch brought to her was immeasurable. 

When she reached for the top of his jeans and began searching for the button he inhaled sharply.  Reeling with the intensity of his need for her, if he didn’t get a grip on his self-control right now this would end too soon.  He wanted this their first time together to be as pleasurable for her as he knew it was going to be for him.

Taking a moment to regain his composure, he swept her off of the counter into his arms, carrying her back down the hallway.  Halfway down on the right he kicked open the door to a bedroom.  Depositing her on his bed, he tore off his pants and went to work on what was left of her clothes.   With her shirt and bra dropped on the floor he made quick work of her jeans and panties.  Finally, he crawled in next to her; his skin was hot on hers.  Everywhere that their skin met, everywhere that he touched her, she burned with desire.

For a moment he stopped and his eyes took her in as if she was a mirage and he was lost in the desert, dying of thirst.  Her body was perfectly proportioned, her breasts were tantalizing full, her hips softly rounded; she was every inch soft and beautiful.  He whispered “My God you’re beautiful.”  She reached up to trace his mouth with a fingertip, their eyes locked together and the longing in both was undeniable. 

A moment later his hands and mouth seemed to be everywhere, caressing her, exploring her, learning the feel and smell of her, the taste of her.  When she could no longer stand the agony of her own desire she begged him for release.  She wanted to feel him inside of her, a need that she could feel deep at her core.  When he slid into her, her breath caught in her throat.  His rhythm caused a million tiny nerves within her to explode and hidden muscles she never knew began to convulse. 

The intensity of her orgasm caused his body to shudder and tremble from the power of his own release.  They climaxed together, their breath ragged and shallow, their hearts racing wildly. 

Kelly lay in his arms, arms that still held her tightly, possessively, as their breathing slowed.  She marveled at the way in which her body had reacted to him; as if she existed only for him. 

For Stephen, it had been something different.  He already knew that their physical attraction was strong, but the extent of the emotional connection they had just made was something he had been unprepared for.  He needed to convey to her that this had not been just a casual thing for him. 

He whispered “No other woman has ever been here before.  I’ve been waiting a long time for you.”  Kelly’s heart skipped a beat as he laid bare his soul to her.  She pulled his head to hers, kissed him deeply and said “I’m here now.” 

They slept but before they did Stephen made two vows to himself.  First, that there would be much more pleasure ahead for this remarkable woman, and secondly, that someday soon she would never leave.

***

Sometime in the middle of the night she awoke to the demands of his hands and lips.  He needed to feel her again to be sure she was real.  He made love to her again, like a man possessed, like a man desperate to love and be loved.  She found her own satisfaction in his arms, fulfillment that can only be achieved when one allows themselves the freedom feel and for the first time in her life, she had done just that.

Her eyes flickered open when a ray of sunlight crossed them.  She lay quietly for a few moments listening to the silence, attempting to get her bearings.  When it came to her just where she was, who she was with, and what they had done last night, she lay still letting the delicious memories wash over her.  There was no guilt, no regret; just hunger for this strong, lean man holding her possessively and the knowledge that she wasn’t the cold person incapable of desire, that she had feared.  She felt just like a character out of one of her own novels. 

When he started to stir she turned in his arms to study his face as he awoke.  His eyes opened slowly, his eyelids flickered a few times, and then she was looking into those magnificent gray eyes which were intently focusing in on her.  The first thing she noticed was that the burning intensity that made them almost black last night was gone; they were lighter and softer this morning.  The second thing she noticed was his eye lashes, dark, long, and lush, and while she was studying those eyelashes she felt his arms tightened around her.

Stephen opened his eyes to find her once again studying him with her beautiful green eyes, eyes that seemed wider and deeper in color than he’d ever seen them before.  They were like pools of emerald.  The first time he had ever seen her, he had vowed that one day he’d get lost in those eyes, and that was exactly what he planned to do now.  He couldn’t believe his luck that she was still here with him.  His heart beat began to race.  

Kelly smiled and whispered “Good morning.  Remember me?”  His response were arms that pulled her in closer and a kiss, gentle at first, but increasingly demanding as his desire grew.  When she next looked into his eyes they were again dark from desire.  She was surprised to find that there seemed to be no end to the pool of desire he had for her, but then she was soon to realize that hers matched his with every touch. 

He began to explore her, gently caressing her skin and stroking places that she had never known could produce such pleasure. He watched her eyes as his fingers traced their way down her body.  Soon he followed with his lips.  His tongue did things to her that made her cry out in agonizing pleasure.  This time he made sure that their love making was slow and inquisitive. 

With the raw need that they both felt last night quenched, in its place was now a different kind of longing, the longing keep what they had discovered with each other last night from ever ending.  They lingered over each other, delaying gratification until neither could wait any longer.  Once again both were left fully satisfied after their release. 

Kelly was beginning to understand just how much she had been missing while closeted in her make-believe world. 

They drifted back to sleep.

***

When they woke next it was nearly nine o’clock.  Stephen asked “are you hungry?” She nodded her head and then giggled when his stomach began to complain loudly.  She didn’t know him well but Kelly guessed that Stephen wasn’t a man to lay in bed until nine on any morning and that his magnificent body was probably use to regular nourishment at a much earlier time.

Stephen threw on a pair of sweatpants.  Kelly picked Stephen’s shirt up off the floor and put it on.  They made their way back to the kitchen.  Stephen nodded towards a coffee pot which Kelly took as an indication of her assigned task. 

As she busied herself filling the reservoir with water Stephen routed through the refrigerator.  He reappeared with an egg carton containing three eggs, a package holding four slices of bacon, and what had once been a loaf of bread but now held only the ends.  “It’s not much” said Stephen “but it’s all I’ve got.”  Kelly laughed “don’t worry, I don’t eat much.” 

“One of us will have to make a store run today or we won’t last very long.  I plan to burn off a lot more calories today” he said, making his intentions clearer with a sensuous nibble at the nape of her neck.

Kelly’s brows furrowed “Stephen, I’m afraid I have to leave in an hour or so.  My son is on his way up from Seattle for our annual summer vacation together.  His plane arrives early this afternoon.”

“Son?” Stephen asked quietly, his eyes fixated on something outside the window and just for a moment he seemed to have left the room, travelling to some unknown place. 

“His name is Charlie, he’s thirteen.  He lives with his father in Seattle during the school year but he spends most school vacations and two weeks in the summer with me.”  Kelly watched Stephen’s face for any sign of resentment.  Being a divorced mom could sometimes have its challenges, especially so when telling a prospective suitor about your child.  Some men just had no interest in being involved with another man’s child.

Stephen forced himself back to the present, and she found only contemplation when he looked at her.  “I won’t see you for two weeks?” 

“I’m sure we’ll see each other around town but obviously not like this” with her arm she gestured to herself standing in his kitchen wearing only his oversized shirt.  “I don’t see him enough as it is and I owe him the time, undistracted.  I’m sorry.” 

She watched him for a bit and when he offered no further response she ventured on “you know, this thing with us, you and me, it’s all happening pretty fast.  Maybe it would be a good idea for us to spend a little time apart now, just to be sure that we know what we’re doing, and where we go from here?”

This time when his eyes met hers, the look was pure steel in its intent.  “I am sure.”  In fact, Stephen had never been surer of anything in his life.  The tone of his voice left no more room for discussion on that subject as he set to removing their meager rations from its packaging. 

“Could you please get me a couple of frying pans?”  He pointed in the general direction of a cupboard behind her.  He was trying not to pout but disappointment was eating its way into his guts.

The coffee started to drip as Stephen put the remaining bacon in one pan and turned on the heat.  When the pot was full, Kelly poured them each a cup and stood back to admire his physique while he cooked. 

With each movement, his muscles rippled with their intended purpose.  His buttocks looked as if they’d been carved of stone.  He was every inch exactly what she’d imagined the perfect man to look like.  Just watching him move made the flames of her desire reignite; no stoking them now though, there wasn’t any more time.  She would have to find a way to squelch those feelings for the next two weeks and she doubted it was going to be easy.

Stephen plated their breakfast.  They sat at the counter and ate in relative silence. After they were done Kelly stood to take their dishes to the sink.  “Don’t worry about the dishes. I’ll take care of them” he spoke softly.  “Go get dressed so you won’t be late.”  Reluctantly Kelly left him to go retrieve her clothes. 

When she finished dressing she found him sipping his coffee in front of an enormous set of windows which looked out over his back yard and the still snow-capped mountains beyond.  Of course she hadn’t noticed it last night because, well, she’d had other things on her mind but here, now she was stunned with the beauty of the picture beyond.  What an incredible setting for his cabin.

She came up behind him and slid her arms around his waist.  “I can see why you bought this cabin, Stephen, the view is spectacular.”  She looked up into his face wondering what he was thinking but it was impossible to tell.  He sipped his coffee and chose to continue being unresponsive.

A few moments later he turned, brushed his lips across her hair breathing in the scent of apples and pears.  He slid one arm around her waist and said “the first time I saw you I got so lost in your eyes that I decided I wanted to be there some day.  Thank you Kelly, for letting me in.”  Kelly felt her heart beating slightly out of control.    Suddenly he dropped his arm “We had better get you going or you will miss your son’s plane.” 

They walked her to her car holding hands.  He was pensive, but not brooding.  He opened her car door and, after she got settled, leaned in for a deliciously sensual kiss.

In a low husky voice he said “I’m no good at one night stands or casual relationships.  What we have is real.  I’ll be waiting here for you to come back.”  If it had been anyone else but Charlie on their way to visit she would never have started that engine.

***

Stephen reluctantly walked back into his cabin, still reeling from the emotional roller coaster.  The highs he had felt since she knocked on his door last night had been too quickly followed by the low of watching her leave and now knowing that it would be two weeks before he would be able to hold her again.

When she had come out of the bedroom after dressing, Stephen had stood sipping his coffee, staring out the window but not seeing the view beyond.  Instead he stood pondering what he should say to her before she left.  His emotions were running deep, raw, and somehow he wanted her to know how deeply she had touched him. 

The simple and blunt straight forward truth was Stephen’s normal mode of communications.  It wasn’t just the sex, and the indescribable physical enjoyment that they had shared, which had affected him so deeply.  The connection they made had touched him in a way he hadn’t seen coming.  Kelly was everything that he had ever dreamed of finding packaged in one beautiful person.  There would be no getting over her should she choose not to return to him in two weeks.  And putting that thought aside, he wasn’t even sure that he was going to make it two weeks without her.

Shaking his head and laughing out loud Stephen wondered when it was that he become so melodramatic!  After showering and getting dressed he wandered aimlessly around the small foot print of his cabin.  Everywhere he looked he saw her.  Every room in his cabin had her smell.  Despite the shower, he could still feel her on his skin.  It was time for a hike; some good physical exercise.

It was Sunday.  On Sunday, some people watched football, others went to church.  Stephen went for hikes.  Being in the woods, climbing the hills, ducking into the valleys, and discovering everything that the Alaskan wilderness had to offer was his church.  After all, how much closer to God could one person get? 

After pulling on his hiking boots he grabbed a light jacket that he would no doubt remove after an incline or two, and headed out.  This was his exercise for mind and body, a way to clear his head, and the way his head was reeling today he would probably be taking a very long hike.

He quickly lost track of time as his legs worked the often times rough terrain.  He had several different trails on his property, but they weren’t exactly well groomed trails.  Some of them could only be followed by sighting a specific landmark or tree, and most were identifiable only by Stephen.

Thoughts of Kelly were unstoppable.  The feel of her skin, her lips, her mouth, the taste of her, the look in those beautiful eyes when he brought her to a climax.  He couldn’t forget about how his skin burned hot when she touched him. 

If he thought that getting out of the cabin that they had so intimately shared the last twelve hours would help him to clear his mind he had been dead wrong.  He had to get a grip.  She had a son and her son deserved her time as much as he did, more so if he was forced to admit it. 

Stephen’s mind escaped the agony of the present by travelling back into his painful past.  It was many years ago but he had come close once to having a family too.  So close, and then it was gone.  He had lost it all.  After that, casual dating was never any good for him.  There had been plenty of offers over the years, and plenty of attempts to kill the pain with mind numbing sex.  But his heart and soul still longed for the family that he had once lost his chance to have. 

At some point he would have to come clean with Kelly.  For him, dating wasn’t an option.  He wanted more, much more, and he was already quite certain that she was the one he wanted it with.  There was no sense trying to pretend he was ok with something less.

His stomach began to complain loudly which reminded Stephen that he still had to make a run to the market in Hanlon, for food, but mostly for more beer.  He would kill the loneliness tonight with beer.  Returning to the cabin he retrieved his truck keys, fired it up and headed for town.