Conviction: Devine (23 page)

Yet, every day I woke I braced myself for both. Taking the darkness was worth every second of the agony when Jake gave me that smile that was only for me, or how just one touch from him lit up my soul. The way he looked at me every morning and every night, with so much adoration, made all the bad times disintegrate and die.

My heart was made for his to beat alongside and my soul was the monster in his.

As he came inside me with a fierce cry I knew we’d be okay. We’d get through life because, as much as Jake had a dark side, I had the light that lit the corners for him. And when my darkness threatened to choke me, Jake held me and breathed for me, his own darkness fighting for me and winning time and time again.

We had been created for each other, and it would only be the death of us that could break us apart.

I just hoped we got a few laps in before Satan called for us.

I
WASN’T SURE WHAT
the crack was but I looked at each of the four people around the table curiously. Mason and Ava Fox were lovely; they made me relaxed and feel like one of the family immediately. It was the other couple, Kade and Grace, that had joined us for dinner that I couldn’t work out. Don’t get me wrong, they were as lovely as the Fox’s but something about them had my mouth opening before my brain filtered it.

“So,” I asked quietly as I slipped a piece of chicken into my mouth and regarded them all across the table. “You all live together?”

Ava smirked as she sipped her wine. “We do.”

“And you’re all . . .
together?
”

I could see Mason trying to hide his amusement as he nodded. “We are.”

Kade, who was sat opposite me, smiled. “I know, it confuses a lot of people.”

“So how did that come about?”

“Isla!” Jake grumbled when my lack of diplomacy once again embarrassed him.

Kade laughed and shook his head. “It’s okay, Jake.” Looking at Ava, Kade directed his gaze back to me. “I fell in love with Ava when she was with Mason.”

“Oh.” I grimaced, imagining what their story had entailed.

Ava shrugged. “I’m afraid we have little choice who we fall in love with.” I nodded, completely agreeing as I smiled at Jake. His eyes twinkled and he winked. “I fell in love with Mason. I had an affair with Kade then, miraculously or extraordinarily, whichever way you want to look at it, Mason and Kade fell in love too.”

I choked on the green bean I had just swallowed. I gawped at them. Jake groaned when he saw my mouth opening. “So when you say you’re all together, you really are!”

Laughing, Mason nodded. “We really are.”

I smiled widely. “Good for you.”

I swallowed back the throb in my belly when a picture of them all together snapped into my head. I squirmed and took a sip of my ginger beer.

Grace laughed, her long blonde hair falling into her face. “Looks like your wife has a new fantasy, Jake.”

My eyes widened when I blushed. Jake pursed his lips and lifted a brow. “It seems that way.”

Shaking my head, I scowled a little. “I don’t think I could cope with Jake and another woman.”

“Oh, it’s actually quite hot,” Ava said. “Although only Grace is allowed that part of my husband. And it’s only because I love her.” She leaned towards me and lowered her voice. “But when both men are inside me and my face is buried between Grace’s legs, there isn’t a better feeling in the world.”

“Okay!” I coughed, shifting again in my seat. “I think we need to change the subject.”

“Before you need to change your underwear.” Jake laughed.

“Speaking of which,” Mason said as he pushed his chair back and stood. “Jake and I have business to see to.”

“Do you need me?” Grace asked as she downed her glass of wine.

Mason bent and kissed her forehead. “Nah, we can handle it. Just keep the bed warm for when I’m back.”

She nodded and turned to Kade. “That means you can take me out. I want to dance.”

Kade rolled his eyes but I could see his love for his wife. “I suppose. The things I do to keep you happy.”

She slapped him playfully. “Kade, you take over the dancefloor more than I do.”

He shrugged and scooped her up. “Only ‘cos I have to fight all the men off you.”

“You love it,” she whispered when he carried her out of the room.

Jake leaned down and kissed me. I didn’t miss the way his eyes had covered with the darkness in him, the tell-tale sign that he was preparing for something. “Stay with Ava. We won’t be long.”

Knowing not to ask questions I nodded. It wasn’t hard to see that they were going to ‘have words’ as Jake always said, with Deacon Nessi. “Okay, be careful.”

Mason chuckled. “Bloody hell, don’t you sound like Ava.”

Ava snorted. “Mason, you know how I worry about you when I’m not there to protect you.”

Mason rolled his eyes, the malevolence surfacing as both of them clenched and unclenched their fists. It was like they craved the violence and the withdrawal grew inside until they had no choice but to let it out.

“Go.” Ava laughed as she blew him a kiss. “Isla and I will gossip about how big your dicks are.”

“I bet I win.” Jake smirked when he kissed me again.

“I bet you don’t,” Mason countered as they both walked out.

Ava and I laughed as we cleared the table and took our drinks through to the living room.

“So,” Ava started as she studied me. “Are you okay?”

I nodded and smiled. “I don’t know how to thank you. Being pregnant is wonderful but at times like that it can be a bit of a hindrance.”

Waving me off, she nodded. “Tell me about it, although I’d kill to once again house a little person inside me.”

“Mason doesn’t want any more?”

“Oh yes, he’d love more. I can’t have more and Grace can’t have children either so I’m afraid we have to accept that we won’t be welcoming another little one into the world.”

“Have you thought about adoption?”

Ava chuckled as she sipped at her vodka and cranberry. “Although this life has many ups, the downsides are just as plentiful. No judge would ever allow Mason and me to adopt.”

I looked at her, the sadness seeping from her. Leaning forward, I took her hand. “I owe you one. Let me get in touch with a friend.”

She stilled and looked at me. “What?”

“One of my best friends is a judge.” I didn’t need to say more.

“Are you for real?”

I nodded and smiled when her eyes filled with tears. I could see how much it meant to her and I swore I’d get her approved for adoption. “Mason is helping Jake out with Nessi and you saved me from experiencing something that haunts my dreams. It’s the least I can do.”

“You do get over it,” she whispered.

“Over it?” I asked, not quite understanding what she meant.

“Rape. It haunts every minute of every day but you learn to accept the ghosts and live with them.”

“I know. It helps when you get to make your rapist into that ghost,” I added with a wink to lighten the mood.

Ava laughed and nodded. Holding up her glass to mine, she tapped them together. “To revenge.”

Grinning, I nodded. “To revenge.”

I had a feeling there was more revenge to come. Well I hoped so anyway.

A
FEW DAYS LATER
we were back in England and Jake was dealing with some ‘business.’ Henry was at Leah and Eve’s for the night as I struggled with another migraine. Jake had been checking in with me every hour and was driving me nuts.

“I’m trying to sleep,” I grumbled when he called me for the fourth time that night.

“But you’re okay?”

“Yes, Jake. I’m fine. Go sort out whatever needed you. I’m fine.”

“Okay,” he whispered. “I love you.”

Placing my phone on the nightstand again, I turned over in bed and snuggled into Jake’s pillow, the ritual I had whenever he was out late.

My phone rang again and I lost it. Snatching it up I barked into it, “What the hell is it now?”

Silence greeted me. I frowned and took a peek at the display. My eyes popped wide when Kris’ name stared back at me. “Kris?”

Pressing my ear to the phone when silence greeted me again, I struggled to listen. “Kris?”

“Isla.” His voice was small, the pain in it loud. Snapping upright I placed a hand on my chest in attempt to settle the rampant beat. “Kris, are you okay?”

He answered with a groan.

“Where are you?”

There was a crackle on the line before it went dead. “Fuck!” I hissed as I shot out of bed and fired up Jake’s laptop. Plugging in the leads, I started the trace programme Adam had developed and quickly dressed as it did its thing. I picked up the landline phone and called Jake. It rang for several minutes before I gave in and ended the call. As an address scrolled across the screen, I bit my lip. Jake would flip his shit if I took off on my own, so calling him again, I left a message on his voicemail. “Baby, don’t be cross but Kris needs me. I’m going to look for him. The address from the trace software is 125 Benjamin Way. I promise I’ll be careful.”

As I went to recheck the address I squinted at a small file to one corner of the laptop desktop. I only noticed it because it was named ‘Kris.’

I hated that I was prying but as soon as I opened it, a sob erupted from me. The video that popped up had me swiping at my tears and pulling out my knife and gun, slipping them into the back of my jeans before I pulled on my shoes.

Jake knew all along where Kris had been. I was so angry, so fucking angry that he had kept it from me. Sitting on the edge of the bed I stared at the image of Gen whipping my best friend to within an inch of his life, the skin hanging off his back the very thing that provided channels for his blood to run from.

Closing my eyes I breathed hard, allowing for the rage to simmer and for the first time allowing my hatred to feed the darkness inside me. My eyes opened slowly and I refocused on the paused picture.

I smiled at the calmness inside me, the way my body accepted the pure evil inside me making me shiver in delight. My exhalation was long but steady and I rolled my head around my neck.

“It’s time to end this shit,” I whispered to myself. “You’re finally mine, bitch.”

Then I walked out.

P
LACING THE PHONE BACK
down on my desk I rubbed at my eyes. I was exhausted, each of my muscles ached and my eyes felt like grit.