Convergence (57 page)

"Valiant Ro," Tamrissa grudged after a moment's hesitation, her voice low and her gaze on the warm, rippling water around them. "He's never wanted to be here, and made that perfectly plain right from the beginning. I . . . mean to apologize for calling him a quitter and a coward, but I'm afraid that's just what he is. Getting back to the marvelous life he left is all that concerns him."

"No wonder he was so convinced you hate him," Jowi murmured, uncertain whether Tamrissa heard her. The girl's misery was so strong that Jowi could feel it without the least effort, including the other emotions mixed in. That faint jealousy tinged with bitterness, for instance.
...
It was obviously aimed at the fact that Valiant Ro did have a life he wanted to go back to, the sort of "marvelous" life that Tamrissa had never had herself. It's a terrible thing to have to admit that your parents care nothing about you, and tends to make you believe that everyone else is just the same.

"And then there's Eskin Drowd and Beldara Lant," Tamrissa said after taking a deep breath. "Beldara wants to succeed with every fiber of her being, but I don't think she's had much practice in delicate manipulation. She probably put on lavish shows for her townful of admirers, throwing giant gouts of flame all around. If you never have to keep your doings small and inconspicuous, you can easily miss the possibility that you might someday need to."

"And Drowd almost certainly lacks the self-confidence needed to stretch himself," Jowi agreed. "If he didn't have rather strong feelings of inferiority, he would hardly spend so much time telling people how important he is—and how inferior
they
are.
Or trying to make trouble among those around him.
I'll bet anything you care to name that he didn't do at all well."

"And is now blaming everyone else for it," Tamrissa said with a nod. "Clarion—Rion, that is, seemed enormously pleased during the ride home, and that leaves Lorand Coll and Pagin Holter. I wonder how those two did."

"Both of them want to win, so I'm sure they did very well," Jowi answered, smiling a bit at the thought of Lorand. "We can ask them later to be certain, but I'm not worried. I just wish we were absolutely sure
we're
doing the right thing."

"As things stand, there's nothing else we
can
do," Tamrissa pointed out with a sigh. "And I think I'll finish washing and then go back to my apartment. I could use a nap before dinner."

Jowi agreed with the idea of a nap, so she reached for her own jar of soap and finished washing. Once they were out of the bath and toweled off, Tamrissa used her talent to dry most of the residual dampness from the two of them. Delicate manipulation, she'd called it, and delicate it was. The flames had been almost invisible, but had done an efficient job. They all seemed to be in better condition than they'd been after the test, but that had to be because they'd expended all their strength during the test in order to stay alive.

They left the bath house together carrying their well-worn session outfits, but as soon as they reached the sitting area just inside the main house Tamrissa uttered a low squeak and then disappeared at a run. The poor thing was obviously embarrassed over being in nothing but a wrap, because all the men were in the sitting area, clearly waiting for their turn in the bath house.

Jowi paused to smile at them and wave a hand to show that the bath was all
theirs,
and Eskin Drowd was the first to respond. He stalked past Jowi without acknowledging her existence, which led her to believe that the man had done as badly as she'd suspected he would. Rion smiled and nodded as he passed her, but Pagin Holter just nodded. There was
a . . . coldness
inside the small man that hadn't been there before, but before Jowi could wonder about it she saw Lorand.

"What's wrong?" she asked softly when he stopped beside her, raising one hand to his drawn and exhausted-looking face. "You look as if you went through the test again."

"I also feel like it," he admitted, his voice almost as pale as his face. "I'll tell you about it later, if you like, but right now I really need that bath."

She nodded to show she understood and then stepped aside, and he continued on out to the bath house in what could only be described as a determined plodding. Jowi was more than a little worried about what might have happened, but she'd have to wait until later to find out about it. Forcing patience on herself she turned away from the garden door— only to find that all the men hadn't left. Valiant Ro still remained in the sitting area, because he'd fallen asleep. Apparently Lorand wasn't the only one who'd had a hard time.

Jowi considered letting him sleep, but the man was sprawled in a chair that was more decorative than comfortable and would certainly wake up feeling as if he'd gone through torture. A nice warm bath would do a lot more for him, so she walked over and put a hand to his shoulder. It actually took two shakes before he woke, and then he looked at her blurrily.

"The others have already gone to the bath house," she said, speaking slowly and clearly to give him the chance to wake up all the way. "I can see that you're really tired, but you'll be better off washing the sweat away and then stretching out in bed."

"I'd be best off just cuttin' my throat and gettin' it over with all at once rather than in pieces," he muttered, running a hand over his face. "Another day like today, and I'll probably do it."

"Didn't you do well?" Jowi asked, automatically soothing his jagged emotions. This wasn't a reaction she'd expected, not from someone who supposedly
wanted
to fail.

"Actually, I did wonderfully," he said, sitting forward to rest his arms on his thighs. "I was so badly in need of somethin' to take my mind off that
room, that
I got all the way up to usin' four strands of water. I was about to try for the fifth when they told us it was time to leave, and I couldn't keep myself from runnin' out. Now I have to go back tomorrow, and I don't know if I can."

"Something about the session room bothers you?" Jowi asked, finding it impossible to resolve the muddle of his emotions. There was quite a lot of fear present but not an ordinary fear, and Jowi had never seen anything like it. "Tell me what the something is."

"It's . . . not important," he said, the short hesitation before answering overridden by strong resolve. "All that matters is that I have to go back tomorrow, and the next day, and probably all the days after that until they let me go. But I'll never last that long, so I don't see any point in—"

"Valiant, that isn't true," Jowi interrupted quickly to head off the incipient panic she was able to feel in him. "The time won't stretch on that long, because this is the last week anyone can qualify for the competitions. As soon as you're able to handle five parts of your aspect with control, they move you out of the sessions and over to the competitions."

"You know, I believe you're right," he said with a frown, having begun to argue before thinking better of it. "I wasn't able to pay attention to much in that place, but I did notice that the woman usin' five strands of water in her weavin' wasn't doin' it easily. I could feel her struggle all the way to where they'd put me, and it hadn't changed even by the end of the day. That has to be why she's still there, because she doesn't have full control. But where do they send you once you've gotten the control?
Someplace better—or someplace worse?"

"Tamrissa and I have been trying to figure that out," Jowi said, hoping to distract him from the agitation that threatened to descend on him again. "She and I agree that we've never met anyone who'd gone through testing only to be sent home again, and we never knew anyone who'd personally met someone like that. Have you?"

"Now that you mention it, I can't think of anyone at all," he answered, his frown lightening as his gaze sharpened. "And I ran into a lot more people than most, visitin' different ports as I do. So what have you and Dama Domon decided it means?"

"We're not certain, but we don't think it means anything good," Jowi said, faintly amused that he'd decided against calling Tamrissa by name. "We've all proven ourselves to be potential Highs, don't forget, and just because someone can't use his or her potential today, that doesn't mean they won't manage to use it tomorrow. If you were in charge of this thing, would you simply let them walk off and then forget about them?"

"Yes, but we're not dealin' with someone like me," Valiant responded, now disturbed in an entirely different way. "They would hardly go to so much trouble to get us here, and then let us walk away again. I hadn't thought of that, so I'm glad you mentioned it. Did you and Dama Domon come up with any particular plan of action?"

"We decided to move forward as far and as fast as possible," Jowi told him, enjoying how quickly he'd managed to pull himself together. "It also isn't clear what happens to those who qualify but don't get Seated, but continuing on gives us a longer time to find out—and the chance to come up with a plan to protect ourselves. If you like, you're welcome to join us in that."

"It seems as though I might have to," he allowed, looking less than pleased with the prospect.
"To keep breathin', if for no other reason.
Well, I'd better get to that bath now. Thank you for your concern, lovely lady, and for takin' the trouble to show it."

He rose to kiss her hand, then took his clean clothing and left the sitting area. Jowi very much enjoyed the way he said thank you, and smiled all the way back to her room. If Lorand hadn't been there, Valiant would have made a substitute almost as good. Jowi decided she'd have to find a way to get Tamrissa and Valiant much closer together. The poor girl could use a little pleasure in her life, and the poor man felt so awful thinking he was hated. But Tamrissa
didn't
hate him, and all Jowi had to do was let them both know that. . . .

THIRTY-ONE

Valiant forced himself to banish the thought of sitting down again, and plodded along to the bath house. He was the one who needed a bath the most, but all the others had gone in ahead of him. They probably hadn't noticed that he'd fallen asleep, so it was a good thing Jowi had. If not for her, he probably would have missed dinner as well as the bath.

Walking into the bath house showed the other men already in the water, but there wasn't much in the way of conversation going on. Coll and Mardimil were closest to the entrance steps, while Holter and Drowd had retreated to the two farther corners of the bath. Both of them seemed to be taking pains to show that they had no interest in socializing, something Valiant already knew about Holter.

While beginning to get out of his clothes, Valiant tried again to understand the change that had come over the small groom. Holter had been silent that morning on the way to the sessions building, but not thinking-silent. He gave the impression of being through with thinking, of having made up his mind about something. He'd worked his strands of water in the proper order, taking a little longer than Valiant but getting just as far. Fatalistic might be the best word to describe the man, that and bitter. Holter had obviously been hurt when his friends had drawn away from him in fear, but the decision he'd come to because of that wasn't quite as clear-Once his clothes were in a heap, Valiant moved slowly down the steps into the water. Thinking about Holter and the change in the man let Valiant forget what he himself had gone through, but not completely and not for long. The room where his session had been held was totally without win-

dows
, and if there had been doors on the cubicles it would have taken a platoon of guardsmen to get him into one. It had been hard enough without that, fighting to keep from giving in to panic, fighting not to run, fighting to make
himself
understand and believe that no one stood between him and getting out. Walking in quietly and sitting down in the chair was one of the hardest things he'd ever done, but at least no one had been between him and the way out. If there had been. . . .

That if had haunted him a good deal more in the room, so he'd diverted himself by concentrating on the exercises they'd wanted him to do. Valiant ducked under the water as he remembered the trouble he'd had at first, then how he'd found it easier as his talent and ability adapted. He'd
had
to go on as far as possible, otherwise his mind would have returned to thoughts of suffocation, being trapped, needing to escape. . . .

"Glad to see you made it, Ro," Coll said quietly after Valiant wiped the water from his eyes. "When I realized you were missing, I also realized you might have fallen asleep. I'd just decided to cut my bath short and go back when you walked in."

"Dama Hafford woke me, so we both owe her thanks," Valiant said, nodding to Mardimil as the other man moved over to join them. "She also told me a few things that ought to be passed on, things she and Dama Domon have been discussin'. Were either of you told that this is the last week anyone will be able to qualify for the competitions?"