Conundrum (32 page)

Julie followed me around the side of the house, dressed in what I assumed were her work clothes—a stunning pantsuit and low heels strapped around her ankles, which made walking on the grass a little difficult. Her silk blouse—a deep burgundy this time—brought out the rouge in her cheeks. Again, I was taken aback by her elegant beauty. It made me want to see photos of her mother, Shirley Hutchinson, the aspiring model.

We sat on the patio chairs
,
and I put in my hands in my lap, waiting. I didn’t feel like making small talk; I wanted to tell her to cut to the chase, as they
’d
sa
y
in those old
British
TV shows.
Spill the beans.
’Fess up. Tiredness sat heavy on me, like a
too-
thick wool blanket on a balmy night. Maybe after Julie left, I would take a nap, join Jeremy on the couch, with the summer sun baking through the living room windows.
A luxurious thought.
Whatever stupor I felt, though, was quickly dispelled by Julie’s shocking pronouncement.

“Lisa, your brother—Neal
.
 
.
 
.
”
I noticed she clenched her hands as she spoke. “He’s your half
brother.”

Maybe my face betrayed my confusion, because Julie repeated herself, more slowly. “He has a different father. My father. Neal is my brother—too,” she added. She pinched her lips together and waited, watching me process this information. Which didn’t want to be processed.

I looked into her face and saw Neal’s eyes
staring at
me, confirming her words. I flashed on the photo of
young
Ed Hutchinson in the Penwell brochure, now understanding why his face had
stricken me with familiarity
.
The spitting-image of Neal, with darker hair, the eyebrows a little thinner
, but the same jawline and lips
. E
ven their stature matched
.

My mind reeled with this information
,
but it didn’t make any sense. “Wait, I thought you said my
father
and your
mother
had an affair
. I don’t get this.”

Julie exhaled and a gush of words followed. “Lisa, I know this sounds crazy, but it’s true. And I should have told you everything when we met. But
.
 
.
 
.
anyway, my mother didn’t know about the baby, about the pregnancy, I mean. When she and your dad
got together, had that affair, it
was in retaliation.”

“Retaliation.” The word came off my tongue sounding foreign. I couldn’t place the word with a picture.

“You know, to get back at Ed—for sleeping with your mother. Ruth.”

“Your father
slept
with my mother? First? Before Nathan and Shirley ran off to San Diego—or whatever they did
?
”

“Yes. Lisa, Nathan found out your mother was pregnant, and
.
 
.
 
.
according to my mother, he knew it wasn’t his. He and your mother hadn’t
.
 
.
 
.
well, let’s say they had been sleeping in separate beds for a while, and so when Ruth turned up pregnant, all hell broke loose.”

Neal—Ed’s child?
I pieced together Julie’s words, trying to get a fix on a scene that would play out the way she implied.
“So what you’re saying is my dad discovers Ed and Ruth are sleeping together. Ruth gets pregnant—with Neal
.
” I’m trying to figure in the dates. Julie is two or three when Nathan has the affair with Shirley, Neal is born nine months before my father dies. A year earlier—give or take a month—my dad takes off with Shirley and moves out of the hou
se. The numbers fuzzed in my head.

And then it struck me—my mother knew Neal was Ed’s child
—how could she not?
And never told any of us the truth.
Never told Neal.
A gasp stuck in
my
throat.

“Wait, so, does your father know—that Neal is his?”

Julie waved her hand in the air, dismissing the thought. “
N
o. All this time. You can see why I feel so burdened. Right before my mom died, she told me how Nathan had
suddenly come on to her one night—at a company dinner. He was drunk and distraught. Your mother
wasn’t there
, but it’s obvious why. If Nathan had learned of her affair—through the discovery of her pregnancy
—
would she
dare
show her face?”

I tried to keep up with Julie’s words. “So he made a pass at your mother, and she grabbed her chance—to get back at Ed for what he’d done?”

“Basically.
My mother left with your dad, never went home. Who knows where they went. Maybe they stayed in a hotel until they rented an apartment. But all that time—with your dad
sick
and Ruth pregnant, my mother never knew. Never knew Neal was Ed’s—not until your dad was dying and in the hospital
, where he confessed it to her
.”

I
shook my head as if the motion might help dislodge the blockage in my brain. I tried to
pictur
e
Ed with my mother, pictur
e
Ed as Neal’s father. The images wouldn’t come.
Ed’s lecherous expression was all I could see, and it disgusted me.

I turned at the sound of the French door
s
opening to the deck. I nearly jumped out of my skin; I didn’t realize how wound up I was, listening to Julie
talk. Jeremy,
drowsy
and red-eyed, leaned out. “What’s going on?” he asked me.

I gestured him over. “You should hear this. It will blow your mind.” I added, “Do you need some help?”

He stepped with deliberation and shook his head. “I’m okay. So you must be Julie.
I’m
Jeremy.” He offered his hand when he got close enough, then dropped into the chair beside me. The sunlight seemed to hurt his eyes
,
and he turned his chair to avoid the glare.
Julie shook his hand and let me catch him up.

“Get this—Julie is Neal’s half-sister. Julie’s dad slept with my
mother
right before my dad died.” I turned to Julie. “Are you sure
?
I mean, maybe your mother—”

“She knew.
Y
our dad told her—told my mother—that Ed was Neal’s father. That he was sorry—that he had the affair
with her
to get back at Ruth, that’s why he couldn’t go home, couldn’t live with
Ruth
knowing
she carried, she had
.
 
.
 
.
” Julie loosed a long breath
,
and I noticed her hands trembl
ed
in her lap.

“Wow,” was all Jeremy said—the man of few words. I turned and looked at him. “That’s—shocking.” He pursed his lips and narrowed his brows. I could just imagine him pondering how he could use this information as ammunition against my mother. My mental wheels couldn’t turn that quickly.

“Neal has no clue,” I said.

“No,” Julie said. “When
you and I
last talked, I gathered none of you kids were told anything about this. I was so startled to find you at my dad’s house, asking questions. I thought you
had found out
, and that’s why you went to him, to confront him—”

“And you never have?” I asked, incredulous. “You’ve known for three years that you had a half
brother somewhere, that your dad had a son he didn’t know about—and you haven’t told him?”

Julie sighed. “My mother made me promise I’d never tell.”

“What on earth for?” Jeremy asked, looking paler than ever. “
S
ome kind of
power trip
for her
?
”

Julie’s voice tightened. “You don’t know my father.
And m
y
mother
wasn’t like that. She
wanted
to
protect Neal—”

Jeremy snorted and then
laughed. “Right. Leaving poor little Neal in the clutches of Ruth Sitteroff was the way to go. Maybe if your stupid brother”
—h
e looked first at Julie, then at me
—
“had been raised by his real father, he wouldn’t have turned out to be such a loser, such a mama’s boy.”

Julie shook her head. “Believe me—no matter how bad a parent you might think Ruth is, my father is way worse. He’s abusive and mean, selfish and heartless—”

Jeremy smirked.
“Sounds like Ed and Ruth would have made a perfect match. Why didn’t they just marry and raise the whole brood of you together?”

“Because,” Julie said
almost unemotionally
, “my dad had no vested interest in Ruth Sitteroff. He slept with any woman he could drag into bed. Who knows how many brothers and sisters I have floating around out there
?
Neal’s just the only one I know of for sure.
”

“Well,” Jeremy added, his voice
full
with cynicism, “maybe Ruth slept around too. Maybe Neal isn’t your father’s
son
—maybe he’s someone else’s altogether.”

Julie
looked
at me. “No, your dad told my mother from his hospital bed that Ed was Neal’s
father
. He knew that for certain. He made Ruth tell him who she’d been sleeping with.”

“But what if she lied?” I asked. “What if she blurted out the first name that came to mind—or a name she knew would upset my father
?
”

Jeremy narrowed his eyes and looked Julie over. “No, she’s right. Julie, you like just like Neal. Cut your hair, add a little red to it—put on some jeans and a polo shirt—”

“You could prove it with a blood test
—
” I offered.

Julie shook her head. “I believe my mother. She believed what Nathan told her. And maybe he believed what Ruth told him.”

“That’s a lot of believing going around—from people not in the habit of telling the truth,” Jeremy said
with a grunt
. He lifted himself carefully from the chair. “I need some water—and it’s too hot out here.” He wiggled his hand in the air as if summing up all he had heard
with
that trite gesture.
“The drama continues
.
 
.
 
.
”

We watched Jeremy go back in the house
,
and I wondered what he thought of
Julie’s bombshell
.
Not that it changed anything—or offered leverage in my current dilemma. Or did it?

What would Neal do when he found out he’d been lied to for twenty-seven years? That he had a father all this time and was never told
?
That was surely something worth pondering.
Would he turn on my mother, switch camps? Was it worth even telling him right now? Maybe I would keep it my little secret—a secret weapon to use at just the right time.

Julie stopped that line of thinking with
h
er next words. “Lisa, would you arrange a way for me to meet Neal
?”

I glanced into the house and saw Jeremy watching us. My heart felt weighted with lead. “To be honest, I don’t know. We’re in the middle of
.
 
.
 
.
a family crisis right now. Like World War III. I’m not even speaking to Neal—or my mother or Raff. The timing is
.
 
.
 
.
not great.”

Julie nodded
,
but I could tell she was disappointed. She’d been waiting three years, anxiously anticipating this moment—to meet the brother she never knew—her only sibling. I could see how she’d want badly to connect.

But why not? I toyed with the idea. Who was I to challenge fate? The timing seemed divinely appointed. I shook my head. I still couldn’t adjust to the concept of Ed Hutchinson sleeping with my mother—and Ed being Neal’s father. What must my father have felt—looking at his wife, seeing her belly grow with new life, and knowing the child wasn’t his? No wonder he moved out.
No wonder he retaliated. Maybe he had been faithful to her all those years, faithfully tolerating his miserable marriage. And then he learn
ed
his wife
wa
s bonking his boss. And g
o
t pregnant, as an added bonus. Did he feel humiliated, a cuckold
,
a failure? There he was, trying to support his family, trying to be a good husband and father, and then
he
gets slapped in the face with this affair that Ruth had tried to hide from him. Maybe Ruth considered a back-door abortion but chickened out. Too many women died
back then
, from dirty instruments and careless hacks who botched abortions. No doubt Ruth put on the appearance of a happy mother, glowing with joy over the impending birth, chatting with
h
er neighbors over the fence about baby names.
Unbelievable.