Controlling the Dead (11 page)

“I went to my mom’s house in Chattanooga, where I grew up. I was there for days before I saw her note written in Sharpie on her white refrigerator. She had come back to write the note a year after she left with a group to head west.” I nod for him to go on. “She said she was living in a growing, safe community in Sierra Vista, Arizona. It’s near the Mexico border. It’s chopped into small communities. I didn’t know that until I went. It was easy to find her though, because they keep track of everyone who goes in and out.” He leans back in his chair and looks at the ceiling. I’m in awe. She’s a genius for writing the note in case relatives showed up trying to find her.

“I decided to go, but first I went to the Coalition. They ordered me to my post,” he says in a mocking tone. “Now I know they didn’t want me to see what was going on there. I almost stayed out of spite. Anyway, I came here, dropped off goods to Guido, and hid out with Rudy and the leech while I prepared for my trip.”

“Rudy knew where you were going?” I ask out of curiosity. Okay, I want to know if he lied.

“No. I couldn’t tell anyone. I did tell him last night. Julie was there. She wants to go now.”

“Yeah, now she’s expecting me to help her.”

Mac rolls his eyes. “She expects everyone to help her, even though she contributes nothing to the cause, except dreary doom. I spent days cooped up with her and Rudy, I had to. Since all the rooms were occupied. Although, Rudy was working day in and day out to get a room of his own. I hardly saw him.”

He glances out the window before continuing, “What pisses me off the most about it all? You risked everything to get her out of that place. Rudy, too. She appreciates nada. Told her so.”

I laugh and tell him the story about when I first met her. Beginning with how I played dumb about who she was to get information out of her. All her kitten knickknacks. Her husband Jonathan. How she freaked when I told her Rudy was coming to get her. Ending with me locking her in a closet to keep her from running.

We laugh about it for the longest time. It feels good to tell him. I’ve told Reece the whole story, but Mac appreciates it more since he’s spent some time with her. “Wow, no wonder she hates you. You turned her little world upside down.”

I shrug, “She doesn’t know any better.”

“I’m sure the angry things Rudy and I said to each other a few times didn’t help your cause.”

“What things?” I don’t know if I want the answer. I felt the tension they still have yesterday. It only makes my trepidation worse.

“Oh, well, you know how we feel about you. That has to peak at some points.”

Rudy’s words the morning after the base come back to me.
I’ve known him since the outbreak. We became good friends through alcohol and archery.
Even Reece’s words have an impact.
They’ve been friends a long time.

A distinct mewl sounds from outside my door. I jump up, “What the hell is that?”

“Hmm?” Mac breaks out of whatever thoughts are running through his mind. “Oh, that’s Dex. He wants in.”

Dex.
Mine and Rudy’s love child.
Shit. There’s no way I’m coming between a friendship like Rudy and Mac’s. Dex saunters in like the king of my castle when I open the door. He sniffs the air and jumps up on the table. “Hey!” Ignoring my protest, he eats my cold eggs. It surprises me that Mac says nothing to him. I’d have thought he’d have a problem with a cat on the table. Mac only feeds Dex leftover bacon.

I decide on another course of conversation. “Why didn’t you tell me about the birth-control? And why were you so rude to me yesterday afternoon?” My voice is harder than I want it to be.

Silence. He can’t look at me, but he stacks the plates as Dex licks his paws. Mac’s Adam’s apple bobs, and he rubs his face as if wiping away an expression he doesn’t want me to see. I’d laugh at his nervousness, but I’m serious.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you,” he finally says.

“You didn’t hurt me.” He casts me a sharp glance. “And I realize it probably should have.”

A soft, mirthless laugh escapes him. He runs a hand through his hair and mumbles, “I didn’t see that coming from a fucking mile away.

“Do you know what I’ve been through to keep you under the radar? You were this close to fucking that up.” He holds up his forefinger and thumb. Pointing to the laptop still making its way through sequences, he continues, “You are the exact kind of person the Coalition wants to send into the revolutionist compounds under pretense.” Counting on his fingers, he continues, “Young. Female. Resourceful. No ties to the current or former government or military.

“I suppose you know about the homemade birth-control that hasn’t been studied or tested in any great extent. They make it by the buckets in a lab for the sole purpose of keeping the population down and under control until there
is control
. I didn’t want you taking it because I wouldn’t take it myself. It’s true, I have helped the ladies here with it, as they made the decision to take it. Those who don’t use it know their cycles. I wasn’t lying to you about that.”

I stare at him as all of his words sink in. “I believe that’s my own choice. All of it. And you damn sure could have said something! Anything. But instead, I wasn’t told.” I squeeze his hand to make him meet my stare. “Those awful people wanted me to get pr-pregnant.” The thought of a pregnancy is such a vile idea. “You could have warned me.”

A hard burden crosses his face—a deep worry. “Look, do you trust me?” I nod once, even though my trust with him is flimsy at best. “I know it’s only a matter of time before the Coalition finds out about you, but I’m going to keep protecting you as long as I can.”

“I don’t think there’s a need to bother. Besides, I’m helping Mago. I have a feeling you already know about him.”

“A feeling?” he asks, his voice giving nothing away. I narrow my eyes at him. He sighs, “I don’t know much about him, but I do know he controls it the best he can to keep people from being harmed.”

“You knew what they were doing at the base.”

He shakes his head. “Not all of it. Not the vaccine. I’m not all-knowing if that’s what you’re thinking. I just told you about Arizona and how I feel about it. They keep secrets even from me. Only saying anything on a need-to-know basis. When I found out about Mago and reported him, I was told to leave him alone.”

“Did Reece tell you Mago thinks the vaccine isn’t real?”

“Yes, and I don’t know what to think about that until I make a run to Birmingham and do some digging around.”

Now would be a good time to mention Mago and recent events, but for some reason I feel I need to keep my dreams to myself.

“You’ll let me know what you find?”

“You’re supposed to be resting. Instead, you’re trying to crack open an electronic notebook that’ll probably lead nowhere.” He looks at the laptop with disdain. “You need a new one. Unless you have a program that can decipher shorthand code.”

I shoot him a glare for changing the subject. “There’s nothing wrong with that laptop. And no, I don’t. You think I’ll need one?”

“The revolutionists aren’t stupid. You think it’ll all be written out neat and wrapped in a bow?”

Even though this has already crossed my mind, I shrug. “Doesn’t hurt to give it a shot.”

His hands go into the air in surrender. “Fine!” His hand shoots out and grabs my wrist. I feel something slip onto it.

I twirl the bracelet around my wrist. It’s still warm from wherever he had it. A leather braided band with wood and silver beads woven through it. I feel my lips turn up. “My mom made it. Hobby of hers.”

I clear my throat so it won’t crack. “You told your mother about me.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” A flash of something passes in his eyes. “It’s just a bracelet, Kan. I’m not trying to pick up where we left off. I know it’s not like that for you.”

“It’s not like that for you, either,” I blurt.

Swallowing audibly, he stares at me. “What are you talking about? Of course I care about you.” There it is, which I know already. I know how it feels to be in love and have it returned.

“That’s not what I mean. I care about you, too. We’re not in love with each other.”

Letting out a laugh, he stands up. “Then I guess we know where we stand.”

I grab his wrist, looking up at him as turpentine reaches my nose. He must have been making arrows. “Wait. I want to thank you.” He eyes me, waiting for me to explain. “You were there for me. Listened to me. Made me laugh through a difficult transition that no one knew I was going through. You helped me move past things that were hard for me to get over, and I’ll never forget it. I think you deserve to have someone love you as much as you love them.”

He shakes his head, “That’s way more than I deserve.” I drop his arm, and he leaves without a backward glance.

*

With a heavy heart, I know it’s the right thing to let it go. Even after deceiving me, and the recent events overshadowing everything, he’ll always have a certain place in my heart, but he doesn’t hold it. I owe him a lot, and I don’t think he understands how much.

His news is the most shocking. I’m excited that people are living normal, happy lives. Going to work, having babies, mowing grass, getting their teeth cleaned. Well, I’m not sure about the latter, but it’s possible. They watch TV for crying out loud. Trying to soak this information into my brain is completely astounding. I almost agree with Julie about going. Almost. What if we took the people here at the community, there? Another possibility, but I’m with Mac. I want it here.

The main reason it worked in Arizona is because there aren’t any zombies, I assume. That’s what we have to do—get rid of the millions of zombies that horde all over the cold territories. It starts with Mago. He is the key to the people, the sick people, wanting to keep the zombies in place. It’s their way of controlling and keeping a body of government at bay. I have to admit, it works for them. I’m sure Guido is one of those people. He likes zombies way too much. Yeah, it is working for them. For now.

I’m restless and need to do something. The targets are right inside the new fence. I’d be safe. I take my time dressing warmly and arming myself. After my guns are in place, I strap a compound bow on my back and walk out the door.

*

The field is clear of people and it’s cold. My breath fogs in front of my face as I walk. A few people mill about in the courtyard in the distance. The greenhouse is a little frosty, but maybe it’s just condensation. I’m a little out of practice but easily catch on after a few arrows. I hit the targets right on, except for one that goes into the distance over the fence because some kids screaming from the courtyard distracted me at the last second.

When my arrows run out, I retrieve them, including the one beyond the fence. After finding and picking it up, I turn, catching movement. It disappears between the greenhouse and the marketplace building before I grasp what it is. Figuring I should check it out, I scale along the fence and then the wall of the building. I grip the compound bow with a notched arrow and peek around the corner, coming face-to-face with a body. My yelp echoes through the tight space and I release the arrow. It flies off to the side.

Frozen still, I gulp at the famished standing right in front of me. Not doing anything. I stare at it. It’s a male, fully clothed, and fairly new. He still has darkened bloodshot eyes that don’t have the milky tint to them yet.

Not sure how long I stand and stare, I look around to see if anyone notices I’m standing here with a zombie like we’re discussing statistics.

“Okay, zombie. What do you want?” I ask like it will answer. I pinch my nose. “A bath?” It probably wants food, which isn’t going to happen. I step closer. The dark and bloody globes peer at me. “Are you in there?” I whisper. No spark. No nothing. “Did you have a family? Wife? Kids? Did they make it through the outbreak with you?” I’m rambling. To a zombie. Trying not to freak out, I don’t know what to do. I should kill him, yeah, that’s what he wants. If he is still in there somehow. The gun will make a shot and draw people. I don’t want anyone to know I came out by myself. I turn to go get my bow.

He follows me. I have to kill him. As much as I’d like to explore this unexpected shenanigan, I can’t very well have him following me around. I clear my throat. “Uh yes, meet my friend… Bob. Yeah, Bob. Don’t worry about that smell. He’s allergic to water and soap. And the sun. Oh, if he starts eating your arm, don’t worry he’ll stop when he’s full.” Yeah, that’ll go over real smooth.

I try to think if there is anything I want to know while I have one so close up, undead. Just to see what will happen I say, “Open your mouth.” It opens slightly and I jump back as my heart beats faster. “Close your mouth before you knock me out with your vapors.” It closes. I swallow and take another glance around. How can it even comprehend what a mouth is? The person still has to be in there, somehow, someway.

I load the bow, pulling the string back. “I haven’t killed a zombie that wasn’t trying to harm me or someone else in some way. Since you can comprehend what I say, I think you can anyway, this is a mercy. I wouldn’t want to be in a decomposing body that I couldn’t control.” I watch for some sign of recognition. Nothing. I sigh and release the arrow. It’s quick.

Off in the distance, another one staggers my way. What? “Stop!” I yell to it. Sure enough, it does. What the hell? I’m never going to be able to leave again. I shoot it quickly, and leave both of them where they are, although my limbs feel like jelly and goose bumps cover my arms. Someone will find them. I’m some sort of zombie magnet. I know exactly who to thank for this particular feat.

C
HAPTER
T
WELVE

I keep my eyes to the ground walking through the courtyard, clad in hood and shades. I’m breathing heavy and my fists are clenching in and out. Something else to add to my growing list of problems. I don’t know what to do with my new Jonah Hex superpower. Well, not quite like Jonah Hex, but at least his was freaking useful. What could we find out if we could talk to zombies? What does Mago expect me to do? Who can I tell? After my conversation with Mac, he’ll freak out. So will everyone else.