Controlling Interest (8 page)

“Sure, but this was way more than that and you know it. That
was a deep memory for you. What was it, honey?”

Mouse lifted her gaze, surprised to see Tor’s eyes soften
with concern. She shook her head and tried to pull her hands away, but he
didn’t let go.

“You were seeing more than what was in front of you. What
did you
really
see?”

Mouse closed her eyes while Tor just waited. Could she tell
him? It was so dark… Buried so deep…

“It’s okay, Mouse. Share it with me and maybe you’ll release
some of the pain tied to it. Were you in an abusive relationship once?”

She shook her head. Thank God she’d never had a boyfriend
who hurt her.

“Was it a friend of yours?”

“Not exactly.”

“Who then?”

“My mother.”

“What about her?” His question was soft but insistent. “Did
your father abuse her?”

“Not exactly. It was my grandfather.”

“Your
grandfather
?”

She looked up at the question in his voice and tried to pull
away again.

“It doesn’t matter. Let me go.”

“Not yet. What did your grandfather do?”

“It was my fault. Mine.” She tugged her hands away and stood
up to walk over to the wall. But he followed, gently pressing her back against
the wall with his arms around her.

“What happened?”

“I was five and I was disobedient,” she said, and settled
into his protective embrace.

“Your mother was living with her parents still?”

Mouse nodded. Those years were awful. She didn’t know how
she remembered her first five years with such clarity, but she did.

“How old was she?”

“When I was five?”

“Yeah.”

“Nineteen.”

“She had you at
fourteen
?”

Mouse lifted her gaze, glaring at him. “Yes. But it wasn’t
her fault. He raped her.”

“Who? Your grandfather?”

“No.” She shuddered. “The minister. Mama had gone to stay
overnight with her best friend. The minister’s daughter. When she got up in the
middle of the night, he was awake and took her to his bedroom. He raped her.”

“Where was his wife?”

“He was a widower.”

Tor growled, brushing her cheek with his fingers. “Did the
bastard go to jail?”

“No.” Mouse snorted. “No one believed my mother. At first
they thought she’d been with some boy. Until I looked so much like that
horrible man. Then they blamed
her
. Said nasty things. Said she must
have seduced him.” Her gaze met Tor’s. “A fourteen-year-old doesn’t seduce a
man in his late thirties. My mother was no Lolita.”

“So when you were five, what happened?”

“I’d been playing with my ball in the dining room and it got
away from me and broke Grandmother’s china cabinet.”

“So why didn’t they spank
you
?”

“They should have. I wish they would have.”

“But?” Again he stroked her cheek.

Tor leaned forward and set his forehead against hers and she
sighed. “Grandfather said I was too young for a proper beating. So Mother would
take my punishment so I’d learn my lesson.”

“Oh Mouse, honey. I’m sorry.”

“She leaned over the dining room table and they planted me
right beside her so I’d have to watch her be beaten and know that I was the
reason she was being punished. I’d have to see that,
but for me
, she
would’ve been fine.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah. He flipped up her dress and she took down her
panties. Then he pulled out a switch and began to whip her.” She shuddered. “It
was horrible. At first she was silent. She just took it. And that made him mad,
so he hit her harder.”

“Where was your grandmother?”

“She was holding me…forcing me to witness it because it was
Grandmother who had demanded that Mother be punished for
my
sin of
disobedience.”

“God.”

“God had very little to do with it, even if Grandfather was
a church deacon.”

“Yeah.” He brushed a strand of hair off her forehead. “How
long did he beat her?”

“Too long. Her buttocks were quivering and she started to
cry. But he didn’t stop. When the switch started to cut her and she was
bleeding, I added my apologies too. Screaming and hoping I could make it stop.”

“But it didn’t.”

“No. Finally I screamed at him and threw myself between the
switch and her. I still have the scar on my back.”

“Jesus.” Tor shook his head and pulled her into his arms,
gently cradling her close.

“It ended up being a good thing.”

“Did the police arrest them?”

“No, but seeing them abuse me the way they had her made
something click. Mama grabbed me and dragged me upstairs even though she could
barely walk. She packed some bags and we left her parents’ home and never went
back.”

“Oh Mouse, honey. I’m sorry.” He kissed her forehead and she
sighed.

“We lived on the streets for a while…until she got a job.
Later, when I was ten, she met someone special and they got married. My
step-father loves her and their kids. He’s a good man.”

He tilted his head back to meet her gaze. “So when you saw
Drago working over that sub, you remembered your grandfather beating your
mother.”

Mouse blinked then slowly nodded. “Yes, I guess so.”

“No guessing needed. It happened. But you need to learn that
a club like this is designed to be a
safe
environment.”

“But she said
no
, Tor.”

“And no isn’t a safe word, remember?” Reluctantly, she
nodded. “And one other thing. If you hadn’t been living in a past moment, you
would have noticed that each time she cried out no it was because he paused.”
Mouse shook her head. “Oh yes, it was. He’d strike then pause. She’d cry out no
and he’d strike again. Then pause.”

“But he kept hitting her.”

“Yes, because the no meant
please don’t stop
and
Drago could see that. He understood that because they’ve played together
before.”

“Are they a couple?”

“No. I’m not sure he’ll ever find a permanent submissive.”

“Why?”

“Long story. Suffice it to say, Drago is an excellent top.
Careful. Concerned. And completely focused on whatever a submissive needs from
him when they’re working together. All right?”

Mouse sighed and nodded, sagging into Tor’s embrace. “I’m
sorry. I just…”

“Didn’t understand. Yeah, I know.” He brushed her tears
away. “So why didn’t the other scenes bother you?”

“It was how small the woman was and the way she cried, and
yet he just kept hitting her.” She shook her head, curving herself against his
chest. He stroked her hair and the small of her back soothingly. “Something
about the position too…I guess the way she was bent over reminded me of the
dining table.”

“So the other scenes down there didn’t bring this up for
you?”

“No. And neither did what I saw at Unfettered. Not really.”

“Unfettered?” He continued to stroke the small of her back
and she closed her eyes, relaxing into him.

“Yeah, Saturday night. The public stuff seemed fairly mild,
I guess.”

“Would that be when you wore a gold mask?”

The quiet question brought her out of her calm and she
lifted her head to look up at him. Oh no. No. This was just so bad. He didn’t
look mad. But he didn’t look happy either. In fact, she couldn’t read him at
all.

“Um…why would you think that?”

He tugged her hair out of the bun she’d bound it in and it
escaped in kinky waves around her face. His fingers stabbed into her hair,
stroking through it as if he loved the texture. She stared up at him,
wide-eyed.

“Let’s see. Some odd squeaks you made this morning and this
hair. And the comment you just made about visiting Unfettered on Saturday
night. I’d say—case closed. Wouldn’t you?”

“Circumstantial evidence.”

“Oh, I don’t think so.” He cradled her face. “Why did you do
it?”

This wasn’t going well and she still couldn’t tell if he was
pissed or not. “I wanted to learn.”

“So you picked me?” He stiffened, pulling away from her.

“No. Not exactly.”

“Well, what? Exactly?” He put his hands on his hips.

“I didn’t know you’d be there until Mistress Zarah looked
past me and said you were right on time for once.”

“I see.” His eyes narrowed. “And if I hadn’t pieced this
together, would you have ever told me?”

She bit her lip, knowing the answer was no. When she opened
her mouth to speak, he withdrew from her—she could almost see it— as he waved
her words away.

“Don’t lie.” He backed toward the door and she felt cold.
Alone. Bereft. “You wouldn’t have ever told me, would you?”

“Probably not,” she whispered.

“I see. Right. I’m glad I was a good fuck and gave you a
nice intro to BDSM. I hope you enjoyed it.” His face was tight and his eyes
were cold as he glared at her.

She reached out toward him but he shook his head. “No. Don’t
pretend it was important to you.”

“But it was.”

“Sure it was, Mouse. Sure it was. Look, I’ve got a business
to handle. Get yourself together and come back out.”

“But I made an idiot out of myself.”

“All the more reason to come back to the party. Once Drago
is free, you can apologize to him.”

She blanched. “I don’t need to do that. Nothing happened.”

“Apologize, Mouse. Knowing him, he’ll expect it, and if you
don’t, it will reflect poorly on the club. And that’s what this is all about,
isn’t it? You want the money mother left you.” He pulled open the office door
and walked out, slamming the door shut behind him.

“Well, fuck,” she groaned, falling into a nearby chair.

Tor stood in the hall, taking deep breaths. His fantasy girl
on Saturday night had been Mouse. He’d fucked her and it had been…amazing. Just
fucking amazing. He groaned as he recalled the experience and his cock
stiffened painfully. If he’d known it was her, he would have spent all night
enjoying her. Shit.

He sighed. Mouse had been sweet, sexy and so surprised by
her reactions that it had been a pleasure to tutor her. He shook his head,
wanting to smash his fist into the wall.
Something
about the submissive
had reminded him of Mouse, but he dismissed it. Now he wished that he hadn’t.

But what good would it have done him to know who she was?
While it meant something to
him
to know his submissive lover had been
Mouse, it obviously meant nothing to her. If it had been important to her, she
would have told him.
Should
have told him. Instead, she played innocent.
Pretended that he never put her over his lap to spank her or that he’d never
been inside her hot, wet cunt. He growled.

Shit, had she done it just to secure the damn inheritance?
He took another deep breath. No. He’d known her for years and that was one
thing he knew about her. She might want the inheritance, but he didn’t think
she’d lie and steal to get it. It just wasn’t part of who she was because she
could have robbed his mother blind if she’d really been of criminal intent.
Instead, she’d been Regine’s guardian—standing between his mother and the rest
of the world. Especially at the end.

Tor groaned as the prospect of six months of this distance
between them suddenly loomed like a hurricane on the horizon. God help him if
Mouse took another Dominant as her lover. God help them both.

Chapter Five

Mouse was on her way over.
Now
what? Two months of
butting heads with her was getting old. Damn old. He glared at her as she
approached. For a moment she quailed then a determined expression stiffened her
expression and she tilted her chin. Why did she have to be so fucking cute?
Life wasn’t fair.

“Sir?” A soft melodious voice asked. “Master Torin?”

He blinked and glanced down. Drago was shopping for a new
play partner and Torin was serving as an aide de camp. “Yes, Michele?”

“I’ve been very bad…” she purred. “Please punish me.”

He was torn between humor and irritation. The only
submissive he’d wanted for two months was the most elusive one alive. Mouse.
Celibacy sucked. He couldn’t make himself take anyone but Mouse, but he
couldn’t
have
her.

“Tor, can I talk to you?”

He turned to frown at Mouse. “No.” He turned to look back at
Michele, but Mouse didn’t move. In fact, he could hear her toe start to tap in
irritation. He sighed and turned his gaze back to her. “Make it fast.”

“I have a suggestion.”

“Oh Lord no.” he groaned. “Not another one.”

“Very funny.” She sniffed. “I think it would be a good idea
to begin offering classes for our members.”

“Classes?”

“Yes. Beginners classes…you know like etiquette.”

She nodded and smiled sheepishly at Master Drago. He winked
at her. Fuck. Drago winked at his Mouse. He clenched every muscle in his body
to keep himself in check. If he launched at Drago, the other man would wipe the
floor with him.

“I’ll think about it, Mouse.”

“And also how-to classes. You know intermediate and advanced
level. It’s important for new Dominants and submissives to find mentors, and we
could facilitate that.”

He opened his mouth to tell her no when Drago smiled at her.

“Miss Mouse is very astute, Tor. I’ve suggested you offer
classes in the past, if you’ll remember.”

Tor clenched his teeth in an approximation of a smile while
he fought to stay in control. “I’ll consider it. The problem will be finding
someone to do the scheduling. It takes a person with knowledge of the lifestyle
and the ability to twist arms.”

“I can do it,” Mouse said.

He glared at her. “It takes someone with a strong will to
bring something like this off.”

“You don’t think I can handle the job?”

“Let’s just say, I have concerns.” Tor felt like a bastard
when her eyes grew moist with unshed tears.