Control You (6 page)

“I just want to fucking die...let me.”

The words reverberated through my core and made me squeeze my eyes shut. Pulling in a deep breath, I opened my eyes. My gaze dropped to the wrist on my right arm and zeroed in on the scar there. It was barely visible through the tattoo covering it, but it was still there—a reminder of how far I’d fallen at one point. Inhaling deeply, I pushed the thoughts of that night—of my scar—out of my mind. Lighting my cigarette, it became apparent to me this place was not where I needed to be right now. Fuck what my subconscious thought I needed. This wasn’t it.

Taking a pull off my cigarette, my eyes dropped to my wrist again. This time, I focused on the tattoo instead of the scar.

A man can be destroyed but not defeated.

I smiled. Hemingway was a fucking genius. That moment in my life had destroyed me, but it hadn’t defeated me. I had Eva to thank partly for that. My eyes skimmed across the lake while I finished my cigarette. Peacefulness slipped over me. This was why I’d come here. This was what I needed. A sense of closure. A little part of the ache that had been present inside of me the last few days died.

“I’m doing better, Mom. I promise you I am,” I whispered into the air.

* * * *

I turned onto Main Street, and pulled into the first parking space I could find. I hadn’t walked the main strip of shops in forever. Locking my car doors, I paused on the sidewalk, and glanced up and down the street at the business signs. Some of them were new and some I remembered from years ago.

Whenever I came back to Norhurst to sign my papers, I never went anyplace besides Shooters, Craig’s house, and sometimes Eva’s place—that was it. This time I felt like doing some shopping. I headed into the store directly in front of my car—Simon’s Jewelry. Today was one of those days where I was down to spend a few thousand in an hour or so.

The bell above the door rang as I entered the store. It smelled like old lady perfume inside, and my nose crinkled with disgust. This purchase would have to be a quick one. I walked to one of the glass cases, and viewed the pieces inside. A woman with thick-framed glasses caught my attention from behind the case. She was eyeballing me like I was some hoodlum about to hold up her store. People could be so fucking judgmental sometimes.

“Can I help you find something in particular?” she asked.

I bent over to view the rings behind the second shelf a little closer. “Nope, just browsing.”

She huffed as though I were wasting her precious air in the store, and fiddled with something in front of her again. “Let me know if you need anything, then.”

“I will. Thanks.” I moved over to the other side of the store, deciding rings were not what I needed to be looking at.

A display of bracelets caught my eye on the first shelf. They were silver with different colored gems fastened along their chains. There was one among them that stood out more than the others. It was a deep red color, and cut in a way that reflected the light and made it almost seem to shimmer. There was only one woman it was made for, and I couldn’t wait to get smacked silly when I gave it to her.

“I’ll take this silver bracelet over here with the deep red stones throughout,” I said, pointing.

The woman dropped the crochet scarf she was making, and eyed me. “Are you sure? I have some cheaper ones that look fairly similar over in that case.” She pointed to the case against the back wall.

I smirked at her. There she went with those judgments about me again. I hadn’t checked the price, and I still didn’t even when she made her snide little comment. “No, it’s fine. I want this one.”

She walked around the case she was sitting behind, and then smashed herself behind the one I stood at. “Oh, that’s a nice one. Garnets are a powerful stone. Do you know what they stand for?”

I shook my head. “No, I don’t.”

She reached in and carefully pulled the bracelet out. After setting it down on a piece of black felt in front of me, she slid it toward me. “Well, it’s the birthstone for the month of January for starters. Its deep red color signifies eternal friendship and trust, as well as loyalty and faith. Some say it can even protect against nightmares when worn.”

Seriously, this bracelet could not be more perfect for Eva. The last bit of money I’d spent on her was nearly a year and a half ago—when she’d found me and talked some sense into my dumb ass. I’d paid the rent on her apartment for an entire year so she could focus on her schooling and not work so damn hard at the restaurant she waitressed at. This present wasn’t for anything in particular, just for being her and understanding me. It was for our friendship.

“Can you wrap it up in a pretty little box or something for me, please?” I pulled out my wallet and flashed her a few hundreds.

Her frown shifted to a smile in a matter of seconds, and that judgmental stare drifted from her eyes just as quickly, exactly like I knew it would.

PAIGE

“Thank you.” I handed the man behind the counter the waitressing application I’d just filled out. Doubt crept through me. There was no way I would get the server position available. These places around here all wanted recent experience, and I had none in that department. All I had was a long line of failed jobs at random stores under my belt.

“All right, we’ll give you a call,” the man said with a smile.

I exited the doors and glanced across the street at my options left—an art supply store, a bank, a clothing store, and a cell phone place. Placing my hands on my hips, I shifted to glance farther down. At the end was a little coffee shop with purple and tan streamers draped across the awning. Enticing Aroma was a place I’d been to a few times before; the baristas made a wonderful peppermint mocha, which was something I could use right about now. 

I’d set myself up for disappointment when I’d thought finding a job would be an easy task. Somehow, the weeklong gaps between my other jobs had slipped my mind.

“Last place,” I muttered to myself. “After this, I’m going home.”

Crossing the street, I walked up to the shop and opened the glass door. The scent of coffee made my mouth water. The shop wasn’t large by any means, but every aspect of it was well organized for functionality. Throwing my shoulders back, I put it in my head that this place was it; this place would hire me. Getting in line behind a woman dressed in heels and a chic-looking dress, I sized up the place a little more.

Café-style bistro sets of tables and chairs were placed sporadically throughout the area. The entire back wall behind the cash register was one large chalkboard with different types of coffees and muffins written clearly in thick, colorful letters. The color scheme of the place was purple and tan, just like the streamers attached to the awning out front. It was cute and quaint, but I was sure selling coffee would be something of a high-stress job—exactly what my father had wanted me to find.

Once the lady in front of me ordered her coffee and paid, I walked up to the girl in a black apron and purple shirt behind the counter to ask for an application.

“Hey.” I smiled. “I was wondering if I could get an application.”

“Oh, sure. Hold on.” She leaned down to look beneath the resister area and came back up with a paper in her hand. “Here you go.”

“Thanks,” I said. “Could I get a peppermint mocha too, please?”

“Absolutely.”

Once I had my coffee in hand, I headed to the nearest vacant table to sit and fill out my application. I’d become a pro at filling these out this afternoon. Taking a sip of my minty coffee, I glanced around the place and spotted a sign taped to the side glass of the door. It was purple with thick, black letters printed on it. Reading it backward, I realized my stroke of luck—this place was hiring!

Rushing from my seat, I got in line to turn my application in. The door to the shop opened and brought in a cool breeze with whoever entered. My bare legs broke out in goose bumps. It was nearly time to put up the shorts for good and pull out the jeans. Someone cleared his or her throat behind me, and I felt a presence get a little too close. I took a small step forward, and then turned to glare at the person from over my shoulder in a nonchalant way. My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I realized the person behind me was Cameron, the guy who had given me the most hilarious introduction I’d ever heard.

“Hey, I thought that was you, but I wasn’t sure,” he said with a devious smile. There was something dirty on the tip of his tongue and mischief danced in his hazel eyes.

His voice was low and sexy, exactly how I remembered it from the night before, and instantly, I became hyperaware of my heartbeat.

I arched an eyebrow as a smile played at the corners of my lips. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, I knew that ass from somewhere, but wasn’t sure if it belonged to you or not.”

I couldn’t fight the grin that spread onto my face, even though his words sent tingles of shock through my system from their boldness. “I bet you get slapped an awful lot with that mouth of yours.”

“Sometimes. Sometimes I get dirty go-to-hell looks, but it’s rare when I find someone who can take my personality in stride like you seem to.” He winked and I felt my heart kick-start.

“Well, glad to be a rarity, I guess.” I turned back around, anxious for this next person to figure out what they wanted so I could turn in my application and find out if the position had already been filled. I needed a distraction, something to get my mind off how excited I was to be in Cameron’s presence.

“You seem to already have coffee. Did they not get your order right, princess?” Cameron whispered in my ear. A shiver slid through me as I felt his hot breath skim against my skin, and the heat from his chest soak into my back.

I swallowed hard and fumbled through my mind for the words I knew I needed to answer him with. “No, they did. I just need to turn in this application real quick.”

“Oh, you’re applying for a job here?”

I nodded, taking note of how there didn’t seem to be even an ounce of revulsion in his voice. I only hoped Craig would be as easygoing about whatever place hired me. “Yeah.”

The guy in front of me gathered his coffee and muffin from the counter after paying, and I stepped toward the girl I’d spoken with moments ago.

“Hey, I filled everything out.” I smiled. “Have you guys filled the position yet?”

“Umm, no. We just posted the sign yesterday. I don’t think the ad has even been run in the paper yet,” the girl said.

“Okay, well thanks for putting in my application. I’ll be waiting to hear from someone soon.” I started to walk away, but Cameron caught my wrist.

“Let me just chime in and say something really quick here. This girl”—he motioned to me—“makes me want lots of coffee. Lots and lots of coffee. If she was in here, working behind that little counter with you, I’d come in specifically just to get coffee from her.” Cameron flashed the girl behind the register a dazzling smile, and I thought she might have heart failure from his sudden direct attention. When his gaze shifted to me, I understood why.

He was freaking gorgeous when he smiled. There was a certain way he held himself that oozed confidence and sexiness with just the right amount of bad boy.

“Oh, really?” the girl asked in a breathy tone. “Well, I’ll mention it to my mom, and hopefully we’ll be seeing you again soon—if not every day, then.”

Her mom? I realized then that the girl must have just graduated high school or something, because she appeared to be young in the face. Right now, she resembled a little teenybopper, catching a glimpse of her celebrity crush in real life.

Cameron released my arm and ordered himself a dark roast coffee of some sort before shifting his attention back to me. “What are you up to after this?”

“Umm, nothing.” I took another sip of my peppermint mocha bliss, and gave him a small smile.

“I’d like to hang out with you for a bit, if that’s all right?”

“Sure.” My stomach flip-flopped. This was not okay. Why the hell had I said yes? Craig would be pissed if he found out the two of us were hanging out together.

“Good.” Cameron paid for his coffee and nodded to the girl behind the register. “I meant what I said. I think this one could sell a lot of coffee in this place for you.”

The girl smiled wide and nodded. As soon as Cameron turned away from her, her gaze fell to me. She mouthed, “Oh my God, so cute!” I bit back a chuckle.

My entire right side tingled from Cameron’s nearness as I started toward the door of the shop with him directly by my side. “Thanks for that. You know if I get this job because you wooed that girl, I’ll owe you one, right?”

“You’ll owe me one, huh?” he asked. “I think I like the sound of that. But if you don’t mind me asking, why do you need a job anyway? No offense, but I know Craig well enough to know he wouldn’t date someone for long who didn’t at least have a little bit of money. From the way he reacted to seeing you with me the other night, I know the two of you have been together for longer than a few weeks.”

A knot formed in my stomach. Was Craig that shallow? The way he’d told everyone the other night at his party/wine mixer I was an accounting major, because he didn’t want them to know I was undecided, flashed through my head, and I decided that maybe he was. “We’ve been together for a few months, like five or so, but I doubt he knows whether I have money.”

“He knows. Trust me.”

I pursed my lips together, not liking how sure of himself Cameron sounded or the creepy sensation that stirred in my gut. I didn’t like the idea of Craig digging around to find out stuff like that about me. It was weird. “Okay, I’ll take your word for it.”

“And am I right? Do you come from money?” Cameron took a sip of his coffee and winced at the temperature. His tongue darted out and licked along his bottom lip. My breath hitched as I watched him.

“You could say that,” I breathed. Quickly, I took a sip of my coffee, praying he hadn’t taken note of my dazed response.

“So, why the need for a job? Are your parents the type who want you to work in the real world to build character?” He grinned.