Authors: Andrew Ball
Aside from his nightly Vorid hunting, it
was pretty much what he’d hoped it would
be—everything Aplington wasn’t. Its
personality was as confusing as the road
layouts, but it was vibrant for the same
reason. Nothing matched, so everything did.
After reaching the dorm, he threw his
stuff down in his room and went up to the
community kitchen on the second floor. A
long counter with a massive sink ran along
one wall. Jack’s skinny frame and Mark’s
bowl of hair were bent over cutting boards.
Two iron pots were boiling on the stove
opposite the counter. Twin disposable
baking pans rested nearby. "How goes the
feast, gentlemen?"
"Everything is in order, captain
commander," Jack said. "The rest of the stuff is in the fridge."
"Good."
Daniel wound around the table in the
middle of the room and grabbed another
cutting board from under the counter. They
practically had industrial-level facilities. It
was open-access, with the stipulation that
everything you used had to be cleaned and
returned from whence it came once you were
done. Daniel figured that it would be better
to get in early before half of it was stolen
and the rest was left out to rot.
He started cracking open a clove of
garlic over his board. "Where’s Jensen?"
"Probably jacking off," Mark said.
"Explains the size of his biceps."
Jack barely missed spraying a laugh all
over his green peppers. His hand hit his
cutting board when he caught himself, and a
handful of his work was catapulted over the
tile floor. He scrambled to pick them up, but
he was so busy composing himself he
dropped half of them again. He wiped his
eyes. "Ah, shit."
Daniel sighed. "I can’t take you
anywhere. Oh well. I don’t like too many
peppers, anyway."
Jack dumped the fallen vegetable slices
into the trash can and wiped his hands. "My
apologies, captain commander."
"The beatings will continue until morale
improves!" Daniel roared. "Mush! Mush!"
Jensen came around the corner. "Yo
peeps."
"What were you up to?" Mark asked.
"Jacking off."
That time, all three of them burst out
laughing. Jensen put his hands on his hips. "I
should be a comedian."
"Here, chop these," Daniel said. Jensen
took over the garlic, and Daniel started
frying up the ground beef. The sizzle and
steam started to attract the attention of the
rest of the dorm. Just as planned.
By the time Daniel finished putting his
super ultra deluxe meat lasagna in the oven
to bake, there were at least twenty people
hanging out in the kitchen, a good half of
them women. It just so happened that the
kitchen shared the floor with the girls’
rooms. Daniel threw Jack a sneaky thumbs-
up when he saw him chatting up one of them.
Jack made an expression somewhere
between consternation and amusement, then
turned away.
The lasagna finished baking. The smell
of cheese and tomato sauce blasted over
them as Daniel extracted the pans from the
oven. There was practically a riot as he
intentionally took his time cutting the gooey
lasagna into blocks. Giving everyone a small
piece chewed threw most of the first pan.
Everyone complimented the taste. A few
of the guys dashed back for quick seconds.
Daniel just grinned.
He was about to dig in when the guests
he’d been hoping for came to investigate the
ruckus. Eleanor and Rachel had stopped in
the hall at the edge of the kitchen.
Daniel raised his voice. "You two gonna
stand there or have something to eat?"
Everyone looked up at him, then out at
the hall. Put on the spot, Eleanor and Rachel
exchanged a glance. Eleanor paused, took a
breath, then spoke. "What is it you’re
cooking?"
"What does it look like?" Daniel tapped
the pan with his spatula. "Plenty if you want
some."
"We were just going to the dining hall."
Rachel licked her lips. "Smells pretty
good."
"I bought everything thinking a bunch of
people would want some," Daniel said.
"Standing room only, but I promise it’s
delicious."
"Thank you," Eleanor said, "but I think I’ll—Rachel?"
Rachel slipped into the kitchen and
straight up to Daniel. He offered her his own
untouched plate. She took a bite. Her eyes
widened. She gulped it down. "You made
this?"
"I had some help, but it’s my recipe."
She looked back. "Come have some,
Elly, it’s awesome."
Daniel had to compress every muscle of
his face to stop his shit-eating grin at hearing
the nickname
Elly
. Eleanor glanced away,
then back, then away. "Well…I suppose."
The crowd parted in the presence of
nobility. Daniel handed her a slice. She
nibbled a bit off her fork. "…this is good."
"Of course it is," Daniel said. "I made it."
Eleanor’s response was to take another
bite. Her unspoken approval of the food was
interpreted as permission to move again.
Conversations restarted. Daniel waited until
the background noise was at a comfortable
level before speaking.
"Eleanor, right?" Daniel asked.
"Eleanor Caroline Astor. And you are
Daniel Fitzgerald."
"Didn’t realize I was famous enough for
the duchess to know my name."
"You’re rather well known, but even if
not, you ogle me often enough that even I
have trouble ignoring it."
"I wasn’t ogling anything. I was
admiring the beauty of a beautiful woman."
Eleanor raised an eyebrow. Daniel shrugged.
"What? Can you blame me?"
She nibbled another bite of lasagna.
"Yes."
"Can I get off without having my fingers
broken?"
"If you cease and desist."
"Fair enough, Miss Astor."
She smirked. "Finally someone in this
place addresses me appropriately. I was
starting to believe we’d reverted to finger
painting cave walls and dancing around
fires."
"Harsh."
"Accurate."
"I won’t argue the point further," Daniel
said. He gestured to Rachel, who was seated
at the table with another group. "And she is
Miss Rachel Ashworth, right?" Eleanor
nodded. "I remember you moving in together.
Friends before this?"
"Since we were very young," Eleanor
said. "We’re quite close."
"Explains why you stick together so
much."
"We look out for each other. Well, it’s
more me looking out for her."
"What do you mean?"
"Due to some personal circumstances,
she’s lived with me since I was eleven.
We’re almost like sisters." Eleanor
narrowed her eyes. "I’m rather protective of
her."
Daniel eyed Eleanor’s friend. There
was already a crowd around her. Rachel
seemed pleasantly flustered by the attention;
a pinked blush of her cheeks was starting to
match her hair. "Looks like you’ve got your
work cut out for you. She’s one of the two
beauties of the dorm, after all."
"Who’s the second?" Eleanor asked.
"And here I thought you were too proud
to fish for compliments."
Eleanor made a smile. It had about as
much warmth in it as an icicle. "I doubt one
hundred percent of your attention has been
focused on me. Stay away from me, and her."
"But forbidden love is so much more
enticing."
"Mr. Fitzgerald."
"Miss Astor?"
"Don’t push your luck."
"Or what?"
Eleanor glowered at him. "Or I’ll break
something besides your fingers."
"This is turning into a disturbingly erotic
conversation." Daniel grinned at the look on
Eleanor’s face. "Well, plenty of lasagna.
Help yourself."
Daniel moved his arm to his waist,
bowed deeply, then beat a hasty retreat
toward less overtly threatening companions.
Outside of the frozen igloo that Eleanor
carried around on her shoulders, Rachel was
an instant hit, still surrounded by admirers.
Eleanor herself stood where Daniel had left
her, nibbling at her lasagna by the stove.
She seemed lonely. For a moment, he
felt a little bad for her. Then he remembered
what she’d said about breaking things beside
his fingers, and his pity swirled down a
mental toilet.
He found his chefs. Jensen rubbed his
hands together. "Alright dude. Now or
never."
"Are you talking about Eleanor?" Daniel
asked.
"Who else?"
"I’d seriously reconsider."
"She’s here, she’s alone, she’s sexy,"
Jensen said.
"I’d seriously reconsider," Daniel
repeated.
"You only live once." He walked
straight for her.
"So this is what it’s like to watch
someone commit suicide," Mark said.
"What are his chances?" Jack asked.
"Negative five percent," Daniel said.
"Rich bitch on steroids."
"It’s not like Jensen’s ugly, though."
"It’s not him. It’s her. She thinks we’re
cockroaches."
Jack narrowed his eyes. "Women are all
the same."
Daniel turned to his short friend. "I saw
you talking with that other girl. They all the
same except for her?"
"You have to be able to deal with
people to go places in the world," Jack said.
"It was just practice. I don’t really have any
plans on enslaving myself to marriage."
"…that’s kinda cynical," Mark said.
"Prenup?" Daniel asked.
"See, that just proves my point," Jack
said. "It’s so bad men have to have their
fiancés sign contracts so that they won’t get
taken when the divorce happens. I don’t want
a woman permanently attached to me.
They’re going to take plenty of taxes out of
my paycheck and give it straight to women I
don’t even know, anyway."
Mark raised an eyebrow. "What is this,
the He-Man Women Haters convention?"
"It’s called realism."
Mark frowned deeply. Jack stared back,
as if he wanted to see Mark push the point.
Daniel felt a slight sense of unease.
There was a sharp slap. They looked up.
Jensen was stumbling back. Eleanor’s hand
was in the air, following through after hitting
his face. "What the hell?!" Jensen shouted.
Eleanor set her half-finished plate near
the sink. "Rachel. We’re leaving." She
tapped across the tile, set her feet on the
carpet, and folded her arms.
Rachel bit her lip. "We just got here."
"A small sample was more than
enough."
"…you go ahead. I’ll catch up later."
Eleanor’s mouth opened. She blinked.
"…alright. I’ll see you later." She strutted down the hall.
For a second time, the room restarted.
More than one person asked Rachel about
their exchange, but she avoided clarifying
until they gave up. Daniel didn’t know what
to make of it.
Jensen came back over with a reddening
hand-shaped mark on his cheek. "Damn. That
hurt."
"Hey there, tiger," Mark said. "How
was the hunt?"
"Shut the fuck up," Jensen mumbled.
"What’d she slap you for?"
"I was just flirting a little. Maybe she’s
high on the bible or something."
"Giving up?" Daniel asked.
Jensen’s eyes grew distant. "She is
literally the hottest woman I’ve ever seen."
"But not figuratively," Daniel said. "I guess all that masturbation takes a vivid
imagination."
"Hardy-ha-ha," Jensen said. "But nope.
Not giving up."
"Might I suggest a helmet?"
"You can be a real asshole, you know
that?"
"I try."
Jensen jabbed his fork into his lasagna.
"Let me lick my wounds in peace."
"So," Jack said, "how about those
women, huh?"
"Sure, they can be bitches," Daniel said,
cutting off Mark before he could respond.
"But they’re our bitches. And everyone’s a
bitch sometimes."
Jack shrugged and went back to his
food.
****
Daniel looked for an opportunity to talk
to Rachel for some time, but it never came.
Some people might have classified the guys
monopolizing her time as a little too
forward; Daniel would have called them
douchebags. He regretted feeding them his
lasagna.
But he got lucky. She came up to him on
her own when she’d had enough, offering
him her empty plate with a bright smile.
"Thanks for the food. It was really good."
"Glad you liked it." He took the plate
and put it in the sink with the others. "Rachel
Ashworth, right? I’ve seen you hanging out
with Eleanor before."
"Yes, and yes. We’re roommates." She
smiled again. "What’s your name?"
"Daniel Fitzgerald."
"Nice to meet you."
"Likewise."
Rachel waved to the corner of the