Contingency (Covenant of Trust) (30 page)
Read Contingency (Covenant of Trust) Online
Authors: Paula Wiseman
“You went to the lake to commit suicide?” He shuddered.
“No. I went to the lake because I knew there had to be another alternative. God doesn’t want me divorced and I don’t think He wants me dead, but beyond that ...” She twisted her fork in her mashed potatoes. “There are too many questions that I don’t have answers for anymore,” she said, a weary resignation in her voice.
“This is about more than just me, isn’t it?”
Bobbi rolled her eyes up toward the ceiling. “It would be so easy to lay all of this at your feet, blame you for everything.” She looked at him with the slightest smile. She still loved him. “I think you would take the blame even, but no, it’s not just you.”
She took a sip from her water. “That lake has meant a lot to both of us, our first date, our engagement … I wanted to go back, to start over, so I drove out there and I asked God to meet me there.”
“Did He?”
“It was so real, like He was right there. I’ve felt like I was in prison, trapped by circumstances, and God said, ‘No one ever locked the door. You can walk out any time.’ I protested that God had to change things first. ‘No,’ He said. ‘I want to change you. I want you to stop trying to go through this in your own strength. I want you to trust Me.’”
“Sounds familiar,” Chuck said.
“We’re quite a pair, aren’t we?”
“Are we?”
“A pair? Somehow, yes, we are still a pair. I haven’t figured out the details—”
Chuck held up a hand. “Don’t need details. That little reassurance was enough.”
“I’m making you nuts, aren’t I?”
“That’s beside the point. How can I help you?”
“I don’t know if you can. If I can’t trust God now, when things are so hard, and so painful ... what other alternative do I have? Where else can I turn?” She took another drink from her water glass, wiping the bottom of the glass on her napkin before setting it back on the table. “I told the Lord everything I was afraid of.”
Chuck reached across the table, and took Bobbi’s hands in his. “I will never hurt you again. You don’t have to be afraid of that.”
“You sound pretty sure.”
“I am. I’ve learned so much in the last few months, counseling with Phil and studying on my own. The Bible talks about how husbands should love their wives the way Christ loved the church, even giving Himself for it. That means more than just being willing to die for you.”
He pushed back from the table. “I’ll show you. Let me grab something out of the car.” She watched him walk out, and wondered if she should pinch herself. In eighteen years of marriage, Chuck never treated her with such consideration. Phil Shannon must be some kind of teacher, or Chuck was an incredible actor. Either way, it unnerved her too much to enjoy the attention.
When Chuck came back in the kitchen, he carried a manila envelope under his arm. He dropped it on the table and took his seat again. “Jesus spent every moment, all His energy, equipping His disciples, making sure they could fulfill what God had given them to do. Even now, He’s preparing a place for us, and interceding for us. That’s the way I want to pour myself into loving you, the way you deserve, the way I should have all along.”
He pushed the envelope toward her. “I will do anything it takes to prove this to you. Open it.”
She slid the packet of papers out and leafed through them. The first group was from the investment firm, with the spots for her signature highlighted. Chuck had signed them back in October. The next sheets were legal documents settling the harassment lawsuit with Tracy. The last sheet was a letter of resignation.
Bobbi looked up in wide-eyed disbelief. “Chuck, you can’t. Your dad started that firm. You can’t—”
“My dad is dead,” he said, taking her hands again. “You are my life. You are worth more to me than my job, more than everything else I have. I have to protect you first.”
“I don’t ... I don’t think I can deal with this right now.” Bobbi pulled her hands away and pushed the envelope to the side.
“Of course. There’s no rush.”
“Do you have another job lined up?”
“Not yet. I figured we’d pay off the house from the extra in the withdrawal, then we could afford to live on your salary until I found something. That’s assuming I can sell my car at a decent price.”
“Chuck ...?”
“God will work it out.” He pulled her empty plate closer and stacked the plastic containers on it, but before he could get them to the sink, the phone rang. He snatched it off the cradle. “Hello? ... She’s fine. Hold on just a moment.” Chuck held the phone against his shoulder. “It’s Donna. Do you want to talk to her?”
She held out a hand for the phone. “Donna, it’s Thanksgiving. You should be spending time with your grandkids.”
“Oh, I am, don’t worry. I’m glad Chuck is there with you. Are you okay, really?”
“I think I’ve turned a corner, yes. I’m sorry they dragged you into this. Which one of them called you?”
“I’ll never tell.” Donna’s smile came through in her voice. “I won’t keep you. I just wanted you to know we love you, and we pray for you, and Chuck, and the boys every day.”
“That means a lot. I, uh, I think I’ll take your advice about seeing a doctor. Who would you recommend?” Bobbi watched Chuck’s face fall as she asked.
“My doctor, Neil Craig. He’s excellent—a good, Christian man. He teaches and writes these days, so he only works off referrals. If you don’t mind me telling Phil, he can give the referral, and then the doctor’s office will call you to set things up.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Honey. You let Chuck take care of you, now.”
“I will.” Before Chuck could make any comments about the doctor, she explained. “Donna stopped by Monday and recommended I see a doctor. Phil is going to give me a referral.”
“What kind of doctor?”
“I don’t know. Neil Craig is his name.”
Chuck frowned and picked up the phone book. “Oh, Bobbi.” He looked up from the listing in the yellow pages. “He’s a psychiatrist.”
“I probably need one.”
“I highly doubt that.”
“Chuck, I can’t think straight. I can’t remember what I teach from one day to the next. I’ve become a liar to cover everything up, to hide it from Brad and Joel. I don’t eat. I don’t sleep. I’m just ... numb.”
“Let me run a hot bath for you.”
“What?”
“A bath. You know, hot water?” He disappeared up the back stairs, but came back a few minutes later, carrying a towel, the cordless phone, and Bobbi’s bathrobe. He handed her the phone. “I’m going to put your towel and robe in the dryer, and you just push the ‘intercom’ button on the phone when you’re ready for them.”
“All right, that does it,” Bobbi said, smacking her hand on the kitchen table. “Who are you? What do you want?”
“You want me to go?”
“No, but this is very weird, Chuck. I don’t understand why you’re treating me this way. Am I that messed up?”
“Of course not. I didn’t mean to smother you.”
“It’s not ... it’s just ... it’s too new. You’re going to have to take things a lot slower.”
“Slower?”
“You can’t be this nice to me all of the sudden and not expect me to be a little freaked out.”
“If I promise to tone it down, will you still take the bath?”
“Always a negotiation with you,” she muttered heading up the stairs.
*******
Friday, November 25
Chuck woke to
the sound of Bobbi’s even breathing and for a split second, forgot that he fell asleep in the armchair, watching her rather than beside her. He rolled his shoulders and neck to loosen the stiff muscles, then slipped into the kitchen to start the coffee.
He ran his tongue across his teeth and decided he needed something stronger than coffee to get rid of the taste of last night’s dinner. He rummaged through the cabinet in the downstairs bathroom hoping to find an extra toothbrush, but settled for a bottle of mouthwash.
When he returned to the kitchen, the coffeemaker had finished, so he poured a cup, and slipped into one of the breakfast nook chairs. The last time he enjoyed a cup of coffee in his own kitchen was that Monday morning in July, the morning he left for Kansas City, the Monday before Bobbi found out the truth about his affair.
“I’m going to have a cup of coffee and enjoy the peace while the boys are still asleep,” she had said. “You’re welcome to join me.”
He looked at her, at the door, checked his watch, then frowned and set his bags down. A cup of coffee would take less time than arguing with her. “This is just normal coffee, right? Not that weird gourmet stuff?”
“It’s grocery store coffee, out of a can and everything.” She poured two cups and carried them over to sit with him in the breakfast nook. “So why are you flying to Kansas City anyway? You’ve driven all the other times.”
“Two reasons. We want the union to think we’re sparing no expenses, that we’re serious about negotiations.”
“That’s why you’re wearing the serious black suit, right?”
“No, it was just the next one in the closet.”
“Of course it was.”
“Second,” he admitted with a smile, “we’re not paying for it. The client is, so why not?”
“It just seems wasteful, almost dishonest to me.”
“It’s just how things are done. It’s no big deal.”
“So now you’re okay with skirting the edge of ethics to make a buck?”
“This isn’t skirting anything. Is it unethical to dress up for a job interview? No! This is no different.”
“So as long as things look good, they are good?”
“What is with you?”
“With me? I’m just trying to understand how these big million-dollar deals work.”
“Well, you sound sarcastic.”
“That wasn’t my intent.” Bobbi hid behind her coffee. He didn’t believe her at all. She accused him of arrogance all the time, but never saw it in herself. She had a sanctimonious moral superiority that dripped from every word. “Oh, before I forget, where should I take my car to have the brakes changed?”
“What’s wrong with your brakes?”
“Chuck ...” She used that same tone of voice with Joel when he forgot to take out the trash. “I asked you to have them looked at before I left for Detroit.”
She wasn’t going to hang this on him. Not this morning. “Are you sure you didn’t just think about asking me? I don’t remember you mentioning them.”
“That doesn’t surprise me,” Bobbi muttered. “We talked about it on the way to dinner for our anniversary.”
“Can it wait until Friday when I get back?”
“Not unless you want me to be in a horrible, fiery crash on the highway. I don’t feel safe driving on them.”
“Why does everything have to be a big drama with you?”
“Why does everything but ServMed irritate you?”
“I’m not gonna get into this again.”
“Good, because I don’t want to hear it again.”
“Bobbi, you invited me to have a cup of coffee with you, and you’re using it as an opportunity to attack me.”
“I am not attacking you. I just don’t need to hear how important ServMed is. I got it the first ninety-seven times.” She walked to the sink and rinsed her cup out and set it in the dish drainer. “You know, I wish you’d put as much energy into being a husband and a father as you do into being an ego-driven workaholic.”
“And I wish you’d treat me with the same consideration you show the little kids at school.”
“When my kids are obnoxious and selfish, they get a timeout.”
“Fine,” Chuck said, not bothering to hide his aggravation. “I will take a timeout in Kansas City for the week.” Chuck finished his coffee and looked at the wall clock. “We’ll take my car.” He saw Bobbi wince at the suggestion. “What?”
“I hate your car, Chuck. It screams, ‘I’m a jerk with too much money!’”
“You just said yours was unsafe to drive.” Chuck slammed the coffee cup on the counter. “It’s a great car. Besides, I am a jerk and before the week’s out, I’ll have too much money, so it’s a perfect fit.”
“And that doesn’t bother you?”
“What? That people think I’m a jerk?”
“That’s not what you said. You said you were a jerk. That’s different.”
“You call me a jerk all the time. I’m used to it.” Chuck stalked back to the entry hall, pausing at the hall mirror and turning his head slightly, trying to see the back of his head.
“It’s not noticeable,” Bobbi said.
“That’s not what I was doing,” he lied.
“Chuck, you check that thin spot every time you leave this house. Nobody can see it but you.”
“Can we go? If I miss my plane because you had to start an argument with me—”
“I ... started an argument with you?” She picked up her purse and shook her head. “Then don’t bother to call when you get there because I surely wouldn’t want to distract you from all-mighty ServMed.” She slammed the door, leaving him alone in the foyer.
He picked up his bags. “Timesaver.”
