Contingency (Covenant of Trust) (21 page)

“How can I do that without fighting Tracy?”

“By letting God fight this battle. Grab hold of that Scripture and make it your own. You belong to God, and He is more offended than you are by this injustice. He won’t let it go. Now, do you think you can handle this better than He can?”

*******

Saturday, September 10

Bobbi kept her
promise and invited Chuck for dinner again, although she called for a pizza rather than cooking. It still qualified as dinner. Joel, excited to have his dad there, took control of the conversation during the meal.

Afterwards, Brad collected the plates and salad bowls and carried them to the kitchen. Chuck followed with the silverware and empty pizza box. Brad stunned his father when he spoke. “People are going to think you’re psycho if you sit in the parking lot for every football game.”

“I hope to see a game in the stadium before the season is over.”

Brad shrugged and walked out of the kitchen. Chuck counted it a huge victory that Brad initiated a conversation that didn’t end with him storming out of the room. These days, even the smallest victory was precious.

“I’ll take every break I can get.” Chuck filled a glass of tea for himself. “You want to sit out on the deck for a little while?” She surprised him when she agreed. He held the door for her, then waited for her to sit in one of the deck chairs before he sat down across from her.

Bobbi silently sipped her tea, so Chuck cleared his throat and spoke up. “Walter Davis is pressing me to file a countersuit, Bobbi. It’ll cost me my job if I don’t.”

“Then you don’t have a choice,” she said quietly, dropping her eyes.

“I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure something out.” He wasn’t technically lying, but he couldn’t risk telling her he was answering the charges. Not yet.

“Look, can we talk about something else?” Chuck asked, sipping his tea. “You left Phil’s office in kind of a hurry the other day.”

“That’s why you can’t come home,” Bobbi said, her eyes brimming with tears. “If you really think your affair was just about sex, you’re either in denial or you’re an idiot!” She closed her eyes, and took several deep breaths before continuing. “Until you understand what you were looking for, what kind of connection you made with that woman, I can’t trust you.”

“But that’s why I’m in counseling. I’m going to figure it out, and I’m going to fix it.”

“After Mama died, I was so afraid to get close to anybody. I didn’t think I could stand to be hurt again.” She looked down. “Until you, that is. I gave you my whole heart, without reservation, because I never doubted how much you loved me. I finally felt safe and secure ... and I let my guard down.” She finished in a whisper.

And he’d squandered the sweet, precious gift of herself that she’d given him that July afternoon eighteen years ago. “How can I even ask you to forgive me?”

“Forgiveness isn’t the issue. I can’t
not
forgive you. I love you.” Tears dropped from her dark eyes. Chuck reached out to hold her hands, hoping she would also let him hold her, but she pulled her hands away. “I can’t. I can’t touch you right now.”

She pushed away from the table and walked a few steps across the deck. “I see your hands ... they used to be the hands I held, the hands that laid my newborn sons in my arms ... but now it’s ‘the defendant placed his hand on the plaintiff’s thigh’ or whatever.”

She wiped a tear away. “I look in your eyes and all I can see in them is that frozen instant when I knew it was true. I’ve tried to latch onto some other memory, some other image of you, like when you passed the bar exam, or when the boys were born. Those memories, they’ve been swept away, and I don’t know how to get them back.”

Her tear-stained cheeks glistened in the soft light. He’d give anything to see her smile again. In spite of her heartache, she carried herself with such grace and strength. Why couldn’t he see that before now?

“I think you owe me the time and space I need,” she said at last, rejoining him at the table. “I have to figure out how I can live with you again.”

*******

Bobbi paced the
living room, checking for Chuck’s car with each pass by the front window. They were going out for their anniversary. Never mind the fact that they barely spoke to one another this summer. Never mind the fact that he never came to bed until she was asleep. He offered to take her out to dinner and she accepted.

She’d made a promise to herself that no matter what he said, she would not shoot back any sarcastic, recriminating remarks. She wouldn’t talk about school. She wouldn’t say anything about his hours or his traveling. For three hours, she would be the perfect, supportive wife. If this didn’t help, then, maybe their marriage had deeper issues. She wasn’t ready to face that possibility.

She saw his car ease into the driveway and her stomach tightened. He strode into the house and set his briefcase by the stairs. Then he saw her. “Oh, you’re ready. I’ll just be a minute.” He took the steps two at a time. No ‘happy anniversary’. No kiss. Not even a hello.

He just didn’t want to keep her waiting. That’s all. She didn’t quite believe that, but it was all she could come up with. She could hear the squeaks and creaks as he moved around upstairs.
Lord, give me words of grace.

A moment later, she heard him on the stairs. “I, uh, I forgot to make reservations ... I’m sorry.”

“
I don’t mind waiting.”

“
So, what sounds good?”

“
Italian?”

“
Italian, it is.” His words, tired and lifeless, matched his eyes. “Oh, wait.” He knelt down, unlatched his briefcase, and pulled a small jewelry box out. “Happy anniversary.”

She opened the box, and the necklace inside took her breath away, ten or twelve diamonds set in yellow gold. “This is beautiful.” She carefully eased it from the box insert. “Here, help me put it on.” She handed him the unclasped necklace and turned around so he could slip it around her neck. It lay perfectly just below her collarbone. “What do you think?”

“
It looks like it was made for you,” he said, nodding.

“
Thank you.” She put a hand on his chest and leaned up to kiss him. Their lips missed, and they kissed each other’s cheeks. Still, that counted for something. “You want to see a movie after dinner?”

“
I don’t even know what’s playing.”

“
It was just a thought.” She picked up her purse and followed him to his car. He opened his door and got in. At least her door was unlocked. “It still smells new,” she said, when she got in. She picked up more than just a new car scent. Perfume. “Did you get to go out for lunch, today?”

“
Yeah.” Chuck watched the rearview as he backed out of the driveway.

“
I thought I smelled perfume.”

For an instant, Chuck looked stricken, but he recovered quickly. “I drove today, and Gina’s on ServMed with me.”

Gina. Thank God. Gina was safe. Over fifty. Happily married. Utterly professional. It was like taking Rita to lunch. Bobbi wanted to reach for his hand, but the constant shifting made it impossible.

“
Speaking of driving, can you have the brakes checked on my car while I’m gone next week? Will you have time to do that?” Then she backtracked. “Wait, are you gonna be home?”

“
I’ll be in Kansas City ... uh ... Wednesday and Thursday, but I’ll be back about the time you get home Thursday night.” He frowned and she prepared her apology, but he surprised her. “Yeah, Monday maybe. I’ll see what I can do. What’s wrong with them?”

“
I don’t feel like they’re stopping the car.”

“
They’re mushy?”

“
Yeah, I guess.”

“
May just need fluid,” he mumbled.

They rode in silence the rest of the way to the restaurant, but Bobbi was satisfied to have a civil conversation, no matter how short. She took it as a good sign.

Just before eight o’clock, they arrived at the restaurant, and the crowd had thinned. The hostess seated them within a few minutes, and after giving their drink orders, Bobbi snapped the menu open. “I may just go with the shrimp thing, the special, but I feel obligated to at least look at the menu.”

Chuck nodded, but didn’t respond. Finally, he closed his menu. “I think I’m just gonna get the pasta salad.”

“
Are you trying to cut back?”

He sipped his water and glanced across the restaurant. “I’m just trying to watch. With all the traveling, it’s easy to eat a bunch of junk. And the hotel over in KC has a pretty nice gym, so I try to use it when I’m there.”

“
Can you still bench ... what was it? Three hundred pounds?”

He gave her a half smile. “No, that’s been a while. Not since I was lugging stuff for Gene.”

“
You were quite a catch, you know?” She smiled as she poured sweetener into her tea and stirred it. “Big broad shoulders ... Joel is built just like you.”

Again, he didn’t respond. He was present in body, but clearly his mind was somewhere else. She wanted to press him, to question him and find out what was going on, but she had promised not to antagonize him tonight.

After several moments of awkward silence, she tried again. “I feel bad not being here Monday for our actual anniversary. We’ve never spent an anniversary apart.”

“
Yeah, you’re taking all the pressure off me, by breaking the string.” He almost smiled again. “I’m glad you’re going. You need a break.”

Was he being sarcastic? How could he possibly know whether or not she needed a break? He had no idea what she’d been working on the last few months.

“
I think when you finally get this case settled, Chuck, we should plan on taking a trip together to celebrate, to reconnect.”

“
What if you’re in school by then?”

“
I’ll take a personal day. We need this.”

“
We’ll see. A lot can happen between now and then.”

FIVE WEEKS LATER

Wednesday, October 12

Brad slouched into his regular Wednesday morning spot at McDonald’s, right side, third booth, facing the counter. A moment later, Cooper DeWitt joined him, sliding a loaded tray across the table to him. “So, how are things with your dad?” Cooper asked.

“Are we ever going to eat breakfast without talking about him?” Brad unwrapped his sausage biscuit and took a large bite. Ever since the fight between his mom and dad in the stadium parking lot, Cooper picked him up for breakfast each Wednesday. Every week, they went through the same routine—a McDonald’s sausage biscuit and a lame attempt to get him to talk.

He had nothing to talk about, though, because nothing changed between his mom and dad. They counseled with Pastor Phil. They sat through dinner. Some nights, they talked out on the deck, but most nights, his dad left soon after they ate. If he could hang on for two and a half years, he’d go to college and leave this all behind.

Things
were
different with his mom, though. She shocked him when she quit teaching her Sunday school class. She always said that was one of her favorite things. She never nagged him about carrying his laundry upstairs because most days it was still in the dryer. Besides that, it seemed like every week they ran out of something important, like milk or bread. He never thought his dad did that much, but his mom couldn’t keep up now that she was on her own.

He took over the yard work when his dad moved out, and Joel helped rake and bag. Joel didn’t pester him so much these days. That had to make things easier on his mom.