Continental Beginnings (7 page)

Another charity ball. Really? Must I be submitted to another public outing without Bella on my arm? People are starting to ask questions. I’ve never been a violent man, but if I get asked
where’s the attractive brunette who’s usually on your arm
one more damned time, I’m going to lose it - seriously fucking lose. As in epic ass kicking, fist shoved down somebody’s windpipe, my reputation sullied beyond repair kind of meltdown serious.

God damn me for letting her go…

***

It’s been two God awful months that Bella’s been gone. Dealing with these temps is a motherfucking nightmare. They know nothing of my needs. Ms. Davidson was a good assistant, but seeing her everyday only served as a painful reminder of what Bella thought I wanted. I’m thankful she and Mr. Johansson hit it off so I could be rid of her.

The Training Center barely keeps my attention anymore and my lessons as well as my livelihood are suffering for Bella’s absence.  Who the hell am I kidding – every aspect of my life is paying the price for her absence.

Why hasn’t she called me? Does she miss me or even think of me anymore?

I’m hungry,
so hungry
. Continental breakfast is on my mind incessantly as is Bella and no other woman will satisfy my appetite. After trying to put her out of my mind and failing miserably, I’ve begun to ceaselessly obsess over her. I remind myself constantly that I must remain civil and I have to fight my urges to do the unthinkable and stalk her but still, her phone number remains the same and I’m unable to stop myself from GPSing her more times in a day than I want to admit to myself. It’s pathetic. I’m pathetic and my actions are despicable.

Attempting to get some work done, I open up my email to find a request for information on Bella from the University Medical Center. She listed me as a former employer but since no letter of recommendation was included with her application, they’re seeking one out on their own. Why didn’t she just ask me herself?
Because
she’s moved on and she no longer needs me.
Can I blame her? I gave her no emotional stability or support. Hell, I gave her nothing that she needed.

Her accusatory words come back to me:
Your indifference, the distance you place between yourself and those around you, and your lack of awareness to those who show genuine interest in you.

She was absolutely fucking right and I have no one to blame but myself. Not once did I ask her anything personal about herself or about her dreams and aspirations. I didn’t even know she was living in a shitty part of town, for fuck’s sake. What kind of man am I for allowing that? What makes me think I even deserve her after being callous for so long or for thinking that kind of conduct was acceptable?

Without delay, I begin writing the letter, praising her abilities and building her up. I want nothing but success for my beautiful princess and even though I’m no longer in her life, I’ll do everything in my power to see that her medical career comes to fruition and that she gets everything her heart desires. It’s the very least that I can do and maybe,
just maybe
– I can try and repay her in some small way for everything she did for me.

***

I can’t take this anymore. I can’t even concentrate on simple daily activities of living like picking out a suitable tie let alone multi-million dollar mergers. I’ve been 96 wretched days without Bella and I need to see her just once. Knowing where she is isn’t enough anymore – I have to see her eyes.
I must
. I debate calling Dante and end up giving in. It’s pointless to even try and talk myself out of it at this point and we leave straight away. On the drive to her location, I lie to myself that this will be the one and only time I go to these measures, knowing damn well that once I see her, there’ll be no end to my fixation on her.

Once we locate her GPS position, I walk for several minutes trying to find her. The day is sunny and bright and I would normally enjoy the cool spring air, but it might as well be overcast as far as I’m concerned because it makes absolutely no fucking difference. I scan the park for her dark hair and azure eyes wondering what I’ll do when I see her. Will I run the other way or rush to her and fall to my knees? Will she accept me if I do? God, I can only pray that she does.

When I see her crying on a park bench, my body becomes immobile and I stand like an idiotic statue watching her as she hides behind her hands. Why is she upset? Who hurt her?
I’ll kill him…

Struck with the sudden need to comfort and hold her, I walk over to her, not giving a shit about my pride anymore. I say let her make a fool of me and manipulate me, deep down knowing she never would. I’ve said it before - fuck the consequences, but this time I mean it. To hell with these bullshit games and my stubbornness be damned for eternity.

I love this woman.  She is mine and I am hers.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgements

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Epilogue