Consumed (11 page)

“Don't what me Addie. I know you better than you think I do. Spill.” I shift uncomfortably in my seat but manage to dodge the question as our waitress returns to take our orders.

She doesn't let me off that easy and as soon as the waitress walks away she clears her throat and gives me an 'I'm waiting' look. “I don't know what you are talking about Dana. Perhaps you can enlighten me as to what you're getting at.”

“Okay, fine, if that's how you want to play it. You clearly have been preoccupied. All week you have been quiet and withdrawn. And don't think I didn't notice the flowers on your desk. Care to fill me in?”

As much as I don't want to talk about Liam I know I need to. I need to just say it out loud. I need to get it off my chest and what better person than Dana to spill my heart to.

I let out a long sigh trying to decide where to begin. “The flowers. Well that's an interesting story, one that I will spare you the boring details of. They are from Liam.” I say not missing the dreamy look in her eyes as his name trickles off my lips.

“Why do you say that like it's a bad thing. I'm telling you girl, if I had a fine ass man like that send me flowers I probably would melt on the spot. Seriously, do you not realize how lucky you are to have a man that looks like he's been blessed by the gods chasing after you? Believe me, I would trade places with you if I could.” She breathes out quickly making it impossible not to burst into laughter.

She joins me and all the tension that I have carried all week seems to just melt away. We spend the remainder of our break eating our salads and laughing like teenagers. By the time we make our way out of the small family owned diner, I feel a million times better about my little predicament. Listening to Dana talk about every one of Liam's physical attributes for almost an hour lightened the situation somehow.

I return to work ready to finish out my day and start the weekend. For the first time in a while I actually feel somewhat normal. I mean of course there is still a certain someone on my mind but now it seems easier to manage.

The remainder of the day speeds by and before I know it it's after seven in the evening. Once again I am one of the only people still in the office. Kristina wrapped up early to meet her parents for dinner. With her gone for most of the night and Dana out on a date with Charlie, I accept my fate of a lonely evening and end up curled up in my bed crying my eyes out to
Sleepless in Seattle.

Why I put myself through this movie over and over again I will never know. What can I say, I'm a sucker for a good old fashioned love story. I click my television off and glance to the alarm clock on my night stand. It's a quarter after one. I should be asleep by now but I don't feel the least bit tired.

I grab my phone to shoot Kristina a text to find out what time she will be home, only to see that she already text me to let me know that she met up with Sam after the dinner with her parents and to not wait up. I scroll through my other text messages and re-read the ones that Liam sent a few days ago.

They only make me want to see him more so I click out of my messages and toss my phone back on my bedside table. I really should try to get some sleep but the thought doesn't sound the least bit appealing.

It doesn't take long for the restlessness to kick in. Deciding I can't just sit here, I throw on a pair of jeans and a long sleeve fitted navy blue t-shirt, throw a quick brush though my hair, and slip on my chucks. I have no idea what I am doing or where I am going to go but if I stay cooped up in this apartment by myself for another minute I'm going to go absolutely mad.

Once in my car, I immediately decide on the Bellagio Fountains. I have always wanted to go there and my first trip ended up as a disaster. Besides, it seems like it would be a good place to clear my head.

It only takes me about fifteen minutes to get there. I park in a nearby parking garage and walk the remainder of the way. The night air is refreshing and for the first time in a while I actually feel like I can breathe.

I lean against the side of the fence, the very spot that I stood the last time I was here, only this time I don't feel the excitement and the heat. All I feel is a void, loneliness. A couple to my left catches my eye. They are young, probably around my age. The man is positioned behind the woman, his arms wrapped tightly around her front. She seems so happy, so at peace. I find it hard to watch them and not be eaten alive with jealousy.

Is it so much to want that kind of love, that kind of happiness? I don't know a thing about them and yet it is clear to see that they are very much in love. I can't help but wonder if people ever saw me and Grayson and thought that about us. I very seriously doubt it. Well maybe in the beginning anyways. I remember how tender he was in those first couple of years. He made me feel like I was the most precious thing in this world and with him I felt invincible.

I can't pinpoint when it all changed. I guess it was gradually over time until I just woke up and realized that I no longer knew the person lying next to me. Though we had practically grown up together, we were no more than strangers. I wish I had the courage to walk away a long time ago. I would have saved myself a lot of regret. But for whatever reason I couldn't bring myself to do it. I kept holding out hope that the person he used to be would come back to me.

Now I see how very wrong I was. The Grayson I knew, the Grayson I loved is nothing more than a memory. That Grayson no longer exists. I lost him and that breaks my heart more than anything else he has ever done to me. What if I am responsible for turning him into the person he is today? I know he shaped who I became in a lot of ways. If I had the same effect on him then what does that say about me?

I find myself wondering the streets of Las Vegas. Lost in memories of the past, of who I used to be and how very different my life is today. I stop somewhere mid thought quickly realizing that I have walked a lot further than I realized. I scan the street and the first thing that I see is the blazing sign to
Bella Vita
.

Is this some type of sign? I walk mindlessly through the city only to end up directly in front of the one place I told myself I couldn't go. The one place that I know I shouldn't be.

As much as my mind is telling me to keep walking, my body takes over and before I know it I am surrounded by hundreds of people and the ringing of slot machines. I continue on downstairs until I have reached the entrance to Serendipity. The line that is usually formed outside is gone. No doubt they are probably getting ready to close. I take two steps off the escalator before my brain actually starts to work again. As soon as I decide that I'm going in, I change my mind and decide not to. I stand there for a good five minutes just looking at the entrance.

The bouncer at the door pays no attention to me what so ever. He's a large man, bald, with sleeve tattoos and arms as big around as my head. They sure know how to pick the most intimidating men to be their bouncers.

My feet are moving towards the entrance before my mind is completely made up. The bouncer barely looks in my direction as I pass by him and enter the bar. The scene is very different than what I had experienced prior. The bar is brightly lit and the only music is a slow mournful tune playing from the speakers at the foot of the stage where the D.J. Is usually set up.

I make my way to the main bar on the right wall and slide into one of the stools. There are only a handful of people left in the club, stragglers that aren't ready to call it a night. And to my disappointment I don't see Liam anywhere. The clock behind the bar reads two thirty and I know I must have missed him. I'm not even sure that I came here with any expectation of seeing him. I just know I wanted to be here.

“What time do you close?” I ask a female bartender who has yet to acknowledge me from behind the bar. She's young, maybe mid-twenties, with coal black spiky hair and a large tribal tattoo on her right forearm. She glances up and gives me the once over.

“Three.” She answers on an exhausted sigh. “We stop serving alcohol at two thirty so you're a little late.”

“I would just like a water please.” She nods and grabs a bottle of water from the cooler behind her, placing it on the bar in front of me. “Thank you.” I say, sliding a five dollar bill across the bar to her.

I swivel in my stool to take in my surroundings. The bar looks so much different lit up. The two times I have been here it has been extremely dark, only colored and strobe lights offering any type of lighting.

There is so much that I never noticed before. The vintage band posters that line the walls are something I can't believe I missed.  I stand and walk the length of the right wall. There's a little bit of everything here. From The Doors and Janis Joplin all the way to Michael Jackson, and what's more is that they all appear to be autographed.

When I reach the end of the wall just a few feet from the stage I turn to walk to the other side but then immediately falter when I see Liam leaning up against the stage, arms crossed in front of his chest, watching me. For a moment I lose my breath and then proceed to kick myself in the ass for coming here.

He gives me a sweet smile and pushes off the stage making his way towards me. I know I should meet him half way but I can't seem to make myself move. I knew coming here that I might see him but I was so preoccupied I almost forgot where I was.

“Sorry I know you're about to close. I don't know how I got here. I mean I know how I got here, I just don't know why I'm here. I really should go, it's late.” I stammer out quickly the moment he reaches me.

“Slow down there killer.” He says on a laugh. “I'm glad you're here.” He reaches up to tuck my hair behind my ear, his hand lingering just long enough on my cheek to know that the contact is intentional. A chill runs down my spine causing me to involuntarily shiver.

I chance a look into his eyes and regret it immediately. He is even more perfect than I remembered. Is that even possible? I scan my brain for something to say, anything. I just need to talk but then nothing comes out. He has officially rendered me speechless.

“You want a drink?” He asks taking my hand and leading me back towards the bar. I close my eyes and soak in the feeling of my hand in his. Such an innocent act and yet it stirs a desire in me so deep I feel like I might explode.

“I thought the bar was closed.” I manage to get out without stumbling over my words. An accomplishment for me, it's hard to keep myself straight in his presence.

“To the public, yes.” He says giving me a wink before turning his attention to the woman behind the bar. “We're good Cassie, go ahead and head out. Will you let Tony and Joe know that they are good to go as well? Have Tony lock up on his way out.”

“Will do.” She replies tossing her dish rag back into the sink where she was washing glasses. I don't miss the vicious look she throws my way before she walks away. What was that all about?

Liam walks behind the bar and makes himself busy making us drinks. He doesn't ask me what I want but if I had to guess I would say he already knows. He has his back to me and I take the opportunity to let my eyes travel up and down his back side. His black t-shirt clings to his muscles in all the right ways and I find myself fantasizing about what he looks like without the shirt or the jeans for that matter.

He turns around and instantly I can feel the heat rise in my face. His dark hair is a little messier then usual and only makes him that much more mouthwatering. I can only imagine how many women throw themselves at him on a daily basis and if I had to guess it's not just the customers but the staff as well.

“Cotton candy Martini.” He says sitting the pink drink down in front of me before making his way back around the bar to take a seat in the stool next to me. He swivels his stool to the right and I mirror his actions so that we are now facing one another.

He takes a gulp of his beer, a small smile playing on his lips. “What?” I blurt out a little more forceful than I had intended.

“I'm just really happy to see you.” He says not losing his smile. I drain the entire contents of my glass in one long gulp. I need something, anything to distract me. I look from the empty glass back to Liam.

It takes the matter of two seconds before he has pulled me clean off my stool and engulfed my body with his. His lips crush down on mine in a heavy need, his hands gripping my ass tightly and pulling me into him. I let him. For once I don't fight it. I kiss him back with everything that I have. He pushes his tongue deep into my mouth giving me no chance to protest, not that I even could if I wanted to. He roughly shoves my stool out of the way and backs me against the bar, trapping my body between his in the counter, his erection digging hard into my stomach. The ache in my belly quickly spreads, taking over my entire body until there is nothing left but want. I want this man and tonight I'm going to have him.

––––––––

T
he world around me grows hazy as his kisses become more intense, more passionate. His hands are everywhere, my hair, my breasts, my hips. I am only vaguely aware of the music quietly ringing through the brightly lit bar. It's a slow seductive beat that I recognize almost immediately. “Sail” by Awolnation. The music beats in rhythm of our bodies grinding into one another, our hands exploring each others bodies through our clothes.

I struggle to keep control, to keep some of my power in tact but I am putty in his hands. My body instinctively reacting to every touch, every kiss, like it was built to do just that, respond to his every need, to his every demand. I don't stand a chance against this man and I have no doubt that he knows this as well.

His hands trace down my sides, his mouth not leaving mine. His kisses are electric, his mouth skilled. He tugs at the hem of my shirt and then lifts upwards, my arms immediately lifting to allow him to peel my top away from by body easily.

His lips break away from mine leaving a burning sensation in their absence. He leans back to gaze at my bare torso, a low growl escaping his throat. “You are so incredible.” He breathes out cupping both of my breasts in his hands, gently massaging through the thin fabric of my black lace bra.