Conquering the Dark Axe (23 page)

Stubborn.

Defiant.

Whatever this woman from his past had done-it had
ruined him it seemed for good.  Heartache filled her to near bursting. He
wanted naught from her but a child. She sensed it. She’d been a fool to imagine
there could ever be anything more. Well, she was done trying and Alexa wiped
angrily at a tear that slipped free.

Three days later, she still refused to speak to him,
let alone look at him. Come the night neither did their bodies touch. 
They were at an impasse and neither would bend without the other doing so
first.  And Rourke’s black mood was proof of the toll it was taking on him.

 Emotions he refused to acknowledge threatened
to overwhelm him. He warred with what was inside him.

 Meanwhile she proved she was indeed lady of
the manor by taking her position back.  Everywhere he looked she was
there.  She picked up and ran things as smoothly as if she’d not been
locked away for those many weeks. 

He glimpsed her practicing her swordsmanship and he
found admiration warming in him. He’d known, but he’d refused to acknowledge
how skilled she was. She still used a wooden sword.

She tried to act indifferent when they ran into one
another. But he knew better.

Her hawk eyes watched him with fury whenever Lina
was near. At one point, Rourke was tempted to pull Lina into his arms just to
get a word out of Alexa. But he feared it would deepen the chasm he’d started.
Just the look of harm she shot his way when his gaze lingered purposely on
Lina’s hips told him it would not be a good idea.

Throwing down the lance he had just sharpened to the
stone rush covered floor, he strode from the hall with a growl. He was in for
another restless and painful night.

Alexa wondered if he would come to her at all this
night after the angry display he’d shown earlier in the hall. The sky was black
and the stars winked at her, but as she waited, he still did not come.

A thump woke her and she frowned, momentarily
startled that she had fallen asleep so quickly at the window.  Rising from
the bench, the one he usually sat on, Alexa focused her eyes in the dark room.
She had fallen asleep without a taper lit.

She made her way to the bed and stubbed her toe on
the post.  Cursing she felt the mattress under her fingers, then a
foot.  She drew back with alarm, and then she reached out again and felt
up the hard muscled calf. ‘Twas her husband’s leg. 

He had come to bed after all. Had he not seen her at
the window? Nay, Alexa wrinkled her nose as she crawled next to him, not only
was he fully clothed, he was drunk.  The smell of mulled wine filled her
nostrils as she sighed and tried to roll his large body to the side of the
bed.  He grunted under her fruitless actions and Alexa barely ducked in
time when one beefy arm swatted in her direction. She let out a cry when the
back of his limp hand struck her in the eye.

Damn his hide! Her eye hurt and after useless
attempts to right his large body, he rolled over and caught half her body
beneath him. Alexa lost her breath and pushed against his chest. He grunted and
started to snore again.  She panicked for fear of being smothered and
began to struggle anew with earnest.

Something was beating against his skull and Rourke
fought against the pounding in his chest and head.  He tried to wake from
the drunken fog of sleep, but it was too comfortable. He’d not slept this good
in days since his tiff with his wife.  With that thought he felt desire
run through him and he grunted and moved.  He lay on something soft and
his hands connected with a breast. 

Lina.

 He had followed Lina to her rooms and had
drunk deeply of wine.  He had thought to lose himself in her welcoming
body, but he had not been able to muster any desire. And soon he’d left the
angry maid or so he’d thought. Her breasts were usually bountiful, but this
one, it barely filled his hand, like Alexa’s. Rourke groaned and squeezed the
mound.

Oh well, whoever it was, she seemed to be willing
enough. Rourke, still half in his drink told himself he needed the distraction.
Anything to free him of this torment. And he leaned down to kiss the squirming
form beneath him.

Alexa gasped and freed her mouth from his, only to
gasp when his lips slid down her neck to her breasts. The man may be drunk but
he was not too drunk to engage in the intimate act. Alexa struggled more, but
to no avail for soon he hiked up her shift and had his hand shoved between her
thighs. She cried out in pain as his touch was rough and when he reached her
womanhood, his cold fingers delved between her folds and tried to enter her.

A warning bell went off in his head and Rourke
stiffened.  Something too familiar about the woman’s kiss, softness struck
him and he withdrew his fingers when she cried out. He moved to jump off the
bed, but stumbled and fell backwards on his arse.  He blinked rapidly and
tried to adjust his eyes to the darkness.

Alexa lit a taper and thrust it in his face. “You’re
drunk!”

“Aye.” Rourke tried to get up and his leg gave out.
Hell! He grabbed the furs from the bed and pulled them over his large
frame.  He had imbibed more than he’d thought. He grumbled. “I didn’t mean
to hurt you. I thought you were another.”

Her shriek only heightened the headache forming. She
cursed him and he realized what he’d said. He reached for her, but she escaped
his limp grasp. He heard the chamber door slam and he groaned falling back on
the floor. His head striking it with a loud thud and a curse exploded form his
mouth. God’s wounds! He’d messed up again. He thought no more as he gave in to
the drunken stupor.

She moved back to her sister’s chamber. Rourke said
nothing of it. He was too deep in his own misery over the growing chasm betwixt
them. Goran seemed angry with him. Hell all within seemed that way. Rourke
never felt so alone in all his life. He hated her for making him feel so
desolate and needy. He set his mind on that thorn instead and went looking for
her.

He found her out back in the manor garden, a hoe in
her hand. A few servants around her and some of his men strolled past. The day
was cold and brisk. She wore a short cloak, hose and her russet gown peeked out
beneath.  He saw red when she glanced up to call out a bright greeting to
Goran as he came upon them. Rourke should have turned and went back the way
he’d come. But the pent up anger and hurt over the past week pushed him
forward.

She’d smiled so prettily at his friend with what
he’d sought all week. The slightest welcoming gesture. But nay, she refused
him. But gave it easily to Goran.

Jealousy raged within him like a crazed oxen.

His gaze raked over her head to toe. Lust slammed
him and his balls tightened. He wanted to bury himself inside her. The simple
circlet held her loose hair in place and her face, flushed from the cold and
warmth she was bestowing upon his friend made her look all the more beautiful.

She must have sensed him for Rourke knew he’d not
made a sound when she turned and faced him. The laughter in her eyes died. The
hand not holding the hoe went to her belly and folded there near the region he
was eager to taste.  It was all Rourke could take and he opened his mouth.

“Will you be able to give me sons?” 

His eyes watched her with a burning intensity and
Alexa stood and swept away the wisps of hair torn from her circlet. She could
not say anything for she was too stunned by his words. Her brows dipped and
anger sparked in her.  He repeated his question and she found it difficult
to breathe.

 “What sort of question is this?” she choked
out.

“One that needs an answer now”. 

  Alexa moved to turn from him and was
surprised when he reached out and stopped her with his hand firmly wrapped
around her forearm.  Aware of the others so near, she felt her cheeks burn
with embarrassment. She did not like the wild look in his eyes and she tried to
free her arm. Her worry and hurt feelings over the past days had come to this.

“Do the women in your family have trouble
breeding?” 

His words were cold and distant. Alexa swallowed.
“Aye.” 

Her mother had had difficulty getting with child
both times. A third had been lost before it had been born. She whipped him an
angry glare and told him thus, her breath heavy and a burning pain seized her
heart over his insensitivity.  “What are you after, Rourke?” she queried,
eyes narrowed and teeth clenched.

“The midwife alluded to something of that nature
when I spoke with her earlier this week. It’s been long enough and more than
enough times that I have planted my seed in you for it to take. Yet you still
show no sign of it.”

His eyes did not soften over her horrified gasp.
Alexa’s face burned even more. The flux had come to her at dawn. Her heart
thudded loudly in her chest. She felt lightheaded. He could not mean to shame
her like this in front of everyone. He could not.

 “Would you have a care out here, please? This
conversation would have been better suited for discussion in the solar. Do you
not think?”

“'How could we have a discussion there when I do not
know which one you speak? Our solar? Or where you currently rest your head- in
your sister’s bed? ‘Tis matters not. Were it in either would the answer have
been any different?”

Alexa stiffened under his scrutiny in disbelief.
Moving back into Lisbeth chamber had indeed grown a burr on his arse.

Aye, his aim was to shame her. She cursed low as the
damning truth of it twisted her heart.  Did he not know how much his words
cut her? Nay, for he took an intimidating step closer. She stood to her spot,
her legs trembling and her hand tightened around the hoe she held to stop her
from reaching for his thick neck.

“Shame me in front of all is the answer then?”

‘‘The shame will be upon you if you do not give me a
son. Let us hope that you do not suffer your mother's curse. She had two babes,
I simply ask for one. I think that is not asking much, Alexa.”'

Alexa could hold back no longer. “Then do what you
must to make it happen. Now even as my blood stains your skin. If that is your
wish. I cannot predict when and if your seed will take. Despite our differences
these past few days, I had thought we were beyond this. Does your cruelty know
no bounds?”

He only glared at her with one golden brow raised in
warning. What had she done to make him act so vicious and cruel to her this
morning? It was more than sleeping in another room.  He’d been the one
putting distance between them more and more all week. Did he not think she had
wondered herself why she was not yet pregnant? And how heavy it lay upon her?

The pain of his behavior was suffocating and Alexa
picked up the hoe and threw it down between them. It landed between his booted
feet. He did not flinch. But the surprise of her movement shone in his eyes.
Alexa whipped around and stormed away from him before she did much worse.

Rourke ignored the dark look from Goran and stomped
down the hillside headed for the village.

Let her spit and steam. 

He growled aloud, scaring a group of birds from a
nearby tree as he passed it. Villagers, seeing his dark look hastened out of
his way and by the time Rourke reached the blacksmith’s hut, he was still in a
most foul mood.

The blacksmith was not present and his wife stood
tall in the warmly furnished cottage.  She smiled at him and something
about the way she tilted her head reminded Rourke of Alexa and something in him
quieted.

He was letting these old feelings toward Jacqueline
destroy the little happiness he had started to share with Alexa.

He turned and headed back toward the manor.
Snowflakes hit his cheeks and he looked up and heavier snow started to fall.
Good. He needed the distraction for his long trek back to the manor.

His cruel words had hurt her. He’d seen it plainly
in her eyes. His heart ached with what he had done. Once the words had started
to flow from his mouth, it seemed like he’d no control over them. She’d been
right.

He should have waited to speak about the babe when
they’d been alone.

But seeing her and the way his body had reacted had
angered him so that he’d not been able to think straight.

What if she were barren and unable to give him a
son? Would he be able to live with that?

Rourke shook the gut wrenching thought away. 
He could only hope she would speak to him when he came to ask her forgiveness
and return to their chamber. And ask her he would, not demand. She was right.
He had thought they were past that too.

She was asleep and did not stir when he finally came
into Lisbeth’s chamber.  Rourke thought she feigned at first, but upon
closer inspection and the stains of her tears present upon her cheeks, he knew
different.

Pain gripped his heart and a low groan escaped his
lips.

He caressed her cheek and she stirred beneath his
fingers, turning onto her back and knocking the fur off her upper body.

He should not have procrastinated and come earlier.
She had not sought him out either. But why would she? He’d given her no reason
to.