Conquer the Flames (Langs Down) (13 page)

Thorne returned a moment later with a pad of paper and a pen. “Here we go. Now we can talk to each other.”

Ian took the items from Thorne and started writing.

Do you like fantasy?
he wrote.

“I love fantasy,” Thorne said. “My Kindle is full of it. I just never picked this one up. I’ve seen it a couple of times, but I’d never talked to anyone who read it to get an opinion. So you say it’s good.”

It’s my favorite. I’ve probably read it a hundred times.

“Wow, that good? Maybe I will borrow it when you’re done,” Thorne said.

Take it now. I’ll ask someone to bring me another one tomorrow.

“I shouldn’t take it with me,” Thorne said. “I’m going back to the fire front. If something happened to it, I’d never forgive myself. I’ll read it in the evenings when I come check on you.”

Ian smiled, charmed despite himself. He’d expected Thorne to make sure he was okay and then make do with updates from whoever from the station came to visit. He hadn’t expected him to come back every day.

How long do I have to stay in the hospital?
he wrote.

“I don’t know,” Thorne replied. “The only information anyone has given me was that you were on oxygen, had been given something for your cough, and were doing better.”

Ian knew that much himself.
Ask someone when they come back in?

“Yes, I’ll ask for you,” Thorne promised. “Have you read
Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn
? That’s one of my favorite series.”

Ian nodded.
I liked it, but not as much as
Dragon Prince
.

“Then I really will have to read this one.”

You’re welcome to read anything on my bookshelves at home,
Ian offered.
Just put them back where you found them when you’re done. Everything’s organized.

“Author, series, and then the order within the series?” Thorne asked with a grin.

And publication date for the series
, Ian wrote back. He could feel himself flushing at how picky he was, but Thorne just nodded.

“Makes sense to me. If I borrow a book, I’ll be sure to get it back in the right spot. I’d offer to leave you my Kindle so you’d have more choice, but I left it at a friend’s house in Wagga Wagga. I didn’t want to bring it with me to fight the fires. It’s one thing to have it on a base somewhere, even somewhere remote, because bases come under fire far less than individual patrols do, but out fighting a fire, there’s no base, really. I mean, we have a base camp, but it’s not protected except by distance, and if the fire moves in an unexpected way, the camp could be overrun. I don’t have a lot I wouldn’t want to lose, but my Kindle is one of those things.”

Ian nodded. His thoughts tumbled over themselves at the implications behind Thorne’s words, but with only a pad of paper at his disposal for communication, sorting them out seemed a monumental task. The thing that struck him most, though, was that Thorne left the Kindle with a friend, not at his own home. Did he even have a place to call home? It didn’t sound like it, and that made Ian incredibly sad.

Where do you live when you aren’t fighting fires?
he wrote.

“Until a couple of months ago, I lived on whatever army base I was assigned to,” Thorne said. “It was cheaper and more convenient than off-base housing, and it’s not like I have a family to worry about. Since I left the army, I’ve been fighting fires, so I’ve been living out of a tent wherever the fires are.”

And when the fires are out?

“I guess I’ll have to find somewhere to live,” Thorne said. “I don’t have any strong attachment to anywhere, so I suppose it’ll be a matter of where I can find a job.”

What about your family?

“I don’t have any family left,” Thorne said. “They died in an accident a long time ago.”

I’m sorry,
Ian wrote, feeling like a dick for bringing up what were obviously still painful memories, no matter how old they were.

“You didn’t know,” Thorne said. “It’s a logical assumption. Maybe I’ll get lucky and build a family the way you have.”

Ian wanted desperately to suggest Thorne stay on the station, but it wasn’t his place to do so without talking to Caine and Macklin first, and even that was presumptuous. He didn’t know if Thorne had any interest in working on a sheep station. Ian loved it, but he’d talked to plenty of people who gave it a try for a summer and decided it wasn’t for them.

Before he could figure out what to say, the door to his room opened again, and Neil, Caine, and Macklin came in. Ian waved in greeting since he couldn’t say hello and listened as they peppered Thorne with questions regarding his status. Thorne answered the ones he could and promised to get someone to answer the ones he couldn’t. The doctor came in a few minutes later, and it wasn’t until the doctor had left and Caine had sent Neil off to fetch dinner that Ian realized Thorne hadn’t come back in after he went to find the doctor.

Where’s Thorne?
he wrote on his pad. He passed it to Caine.

“I don’t know,” Caine said. “Do you want me to go look for him?”

Ian shook his head. Thorne was an adult. He could take care of himself, and Ian needed to grow up and stop feeling neglected because Thorne had left without saying good-bye.

“Maybe he went to get something to eat. I’m pretty sure he hadn’t eaten since breakfast,” Caine said. “I bet he’ll be back before long.”

Ian wasn’t as sure, but he didn’t argue. Instead he wrote,
Are the fires contained?

“Mostly, for the moment, anyway,” Caine said. “They’re not out, but they’re contained again, so as long as they don’t jump the firebreaks, they should burn out in a few days. Of course they’re forecasting storms again tonight, so we’ll have to contend with the possibility of new fires from lightning strikes, especially if we get the lighting but no rain, like we’ve gotten the last few times we’ve had storms roll through.”

Ian nodded. Storms in this season always brought the risk of fires, especially when they’d had such a dry winter and spring. Nobody expected a wet summer, but the lack of rain over the winter had definitely added to the problems they were facing now.

“Did you get everything you needed from home?” Macklin asked. “We’re heading back to the station tonight. We can have someone bring you anything else you need.

Ian nodded.
More books?

Macklin laughed. “Tell me which ones.”

It really didn’t matter as far as Ian was concerned. He’d read everything on his shelves. Thorne was interested in
Dragon Prince
, though, so he’d have Macklin send the rest of that series. Ian certainly didn’t mind rereading them, and that way Thorne could continue with the series in the evenings if he was interested. And if he wasn’t, well, Ian could forgive him his slip in taste since he obviously enjoyed fantasy in general. He wrote the titles down and gave them to Macklin.

V
ISITING
hours were almost over by the time Thorne made it back to the hospital. Things had got a little intense when Ian brought up his future, and he’d needed an escape, but he felt bad for leaving Ian with no explanation. He didn’t know what he could have said, but he still felt like he should have said something. He’d driven around a bit until he’d found a small bookstore, and that had given him an idea. Of course, going into a bookstore was always more time-consuming than he anticipated, but he’d walked out with Tad Williams’s latest in the hopes it hadn’t been out long enough for Ian to have picked it up yet. If Ian already had it, Thorne would keep it for himself. He rarely bought books in paperback since he’d bought his Kindle, but he could keep one book. It wouldn’t take up that much more space in the corner of Walker’s apartment.

“Hi,” he said when he walked into Ian’s room to find him alone again. “I got you something.”

Ian looked up from his book and lifted that elegant eyebrow at him again. Thorne had the insane desire to plant a kiss right there, but he wasn’t sure how Ian would feel about it. He settled for handing Ian the bag with the book in it.

“I’m hoping it’s new enough that you haven’t read it yet,” Thorne said as Ian pulled the book out of the bag and looked at it. He shook his head after a minute, and Thorne finally relaxed. He wasn’t sure his apology had worked, but at least he’d bought a book Ian hadn’t read.

“Did Caine and Macklin head back to Lang Downs?” Thorne asked.

Ian nodded.

“Did the doctor answer some of your questions?”

Ian nodded again and reached for the pad of paper by his bed. He scribbled for a moment and handed the pad to Thorne.
5 to 7 days depending on how I do
, he read,
but they’ll start taking the mask off for short periods of time tomorrow
.

“Good,” Thorne said. “This is better than nothing, but talking to you will be much easier.”

Faster too,
Ian wrote down.

“Yes, faster too,” Thorne agreed. “I should probably head back soon. I don’t want to try to drive those dirt tracks in the dark. If I knew the area a little better, it wouldn’t be so bad, but I don’t want to get lost or stuck somewhere. I’ll come see you tomorrow evening, though, okay?”

Ian nodded.
Stay safe.

Thorne smiled when he read the short note. Taking a chance, he leaned forward and kissed Ian’s cheek. “I will,” he promised. “I have a reason to now.”

He watched Ian’s eyes go wide for a second and hoped he hadn’t overstepped his bounds, but then Ian smiled and reached for his hand. Thorne returned the tight squeeze and the smile. He didn’t want to go. He wanted to curl up on the bed next to Ian and keep watch over him for the night. Not that anything bad was going to happen in the hospital, and even if Ian did take a turn for the worse, he was in the right place to get help, but the idea of leaving Ian alone sat wrong with Thorne. He doubted the hospital would let him stay. His status with the RFS had earned him some leniency today, but in his experience, hospitals were pretty strict about visiting hours unless the patient was in critical condition, which Ian wasn’t. He’d spend a miserable night on a cramped bed that wasn’t made for two people, and he’d pay for it with a sore back all day, and yet he couldn’t make himself stand up and leave.

Finally Ian pulled his hand free to pick up the pen again.
I wish I could kiss you again.

Thorne’s breath caught in his throat. “If you weren’t stuck in that hospital bed, I’d do a whole lot more than just kiss you,” he promised. “Maybe tomorrow they’ll take the mask off while I’m here and I can kiss you properly.”

Ian nodded and started coughing at the same time.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Thorne said. “I didn’t mean to set off another fit.”

Ian shook his head, but Thorne couldn’t help feeling responsible. Ian’s breathing hadn’t been at all perturbed until Thorne had brought up the possibility of sex. He pressed another gentle kiss to Ian’s forehead. “I’ll leave you alone now. I’m sorry I upset you, but I promise I’ll keep Lang Downs safe for you. I’ll see you tomorrow night, okay?”

Ian frowned and grabbed Thorne’s hand to stop him from leaving, but Thorne slipped free of his grip. “I’ll see you tomorrow night,” he repeated. He didn’t know what Ian wanted to say, but he couldn’t deal with it tonight. He’d do his job tomorrow, and tomorrow night, when Ian could talk, they’d sort things out. “Enjoy your book.”

He heard Ian’s noise of protest or frustration or both, but he didn’t let it stop him from leaving. He couldn’t. He tainted everything he touched these days, and he wouldn’t do that to Ian.

He made it back to his ute and rested his forehead against the steering wheel. Fuck, he needed a drink. Actually he needed to get rip-roaring drunk and fuck the first willing trick to come along, but that wasn’t going to happen. He’d made a promise to Ian, and he wasn’t going to break it, which meant driving back out to the fire line tonight so he could make sure it didn’t threaten Lang Downs tomorrow.

I
AN
stared down at the book in his hand because he couldn’t stand to look at the empty hospital room. He’d mostly been okay with his solitude after Caine and Macklin left because he told himself Thorne had gone to get dinner and would be back later, but now Thorne was gone for the night, and that was a very different kettle of fish. It shouldn’t have bothered him. He spent far more evenings alone than with company, and he’d only spent one evening with Thorne. Certainly not enough to justify feeling this nagging sense of his absence.

It was the way Thorne had left that unsettled Ian so much. He’d come back in almost shyly with his gift in hand. He’d pressed it into Ian’s hands with an endearing awkwardness that made the gift even more precious. Thorne clearly wasn’t used to giving gifts and hadn’t been sure what kind of reception he’d get, but he’d taken the time to pick something Ian would enjoy. Then he’d kissed Ian’s cheek so tenderly, and Ian had ached for another kiss, a real one, and he’d said so. Even now, he could hardly believe his own temerity. He didn’t say things like that. He didn’t
feel
things like that, except apparently he did, and Thorne had reacted exactly as Ian had expected, wanting more than just a kiss. Ian told himself that wasn’t a bad thing. It was normal to want a kiss to become more. They were grown men. They were free to engage in kisses that led to sex. Thorne had no reason to suspect Ian wasn’t normal in that regard, that the mere thought of sex scared him witless, although maybe his coughing fit had given Thorne a clue if the way he’d taken off right after was any indication.

Ian frowned at the book again. Had he ruined everything before it had a chance to start? The thought made him feel vaguely ill, but the thought of what a relationship between them would logically entail was even worse. Not to mention that this whole train of thought was predicated on Thorne staying, which didn’t seem particularly likely. He didn’t have anywhere else he had to be, but that didn’t mean he’d want to stay on the station. Nor did it mean Caine and Macklin could afford to hire another jackaroo year-round, especially someone they’d have to train. They’d taken Chris and Seth in, but originally that had been for the summer, and by the time they’d asked them to stay, Chris knew his way around the station. They’d taken Sam in, but his skills in managing the station’s finances had proven a huge boon to Caine and Macklin. Sam wasn’t a jackaroo, but he had useful skills in other aspects of the business. Ian had no clue what skills Thorne had outside of fighting fires and wars. He was sure Thorne had learned other things in the military, but he didn’t know if any of them would transfer to the station.