Connection (Le Garde) (32 page)

Chandler nodded to his dad and took Jordan’s arm. Vickie glared at Jordan as they left. She looked at me coolly, paused as though she were going to say something, but then shook her head and went downstairs.

“
I’m sorry,” Chandler’s dad told me. “Jordan isn’t welcome over here unless he’s sober.”

I smiled anxiously at him. “Sounds like a good idea.” I walked into the living room where Aaron sat on the couch. I paused in the doorway, but Aaron glanced up at me. His lip was split, the blood already scabbing over.

“
How’s your face feel?” I asked, taking a few steps toward him.

“
It’s fine, he only hit me once,” Aaron said. His eyes met mine.

I probably didn’t find the whole fight as flattering as some girls might have. But he’d stuck by me instead of Jordan. I had the sense they weren’t even friends anymore, and I thought back to last year, how I’d turned Aaron down and chosen Jordan instead. He’d chosen Jordan instead of me a couple months later.

But tonight, he’d chosen me. I wasn’t sure about him at first, but I was starting to trust him again. I got in a car with two strangers with him. I didn’t fight our connection anymore.

Something else had happened, though, with Wendy. He felt guilty about it, but he was also relieved, and he was looking at me steadily as though I were the only thing in the world.

I swallowed hard, glancing over at Chandler’s dad, who sat at a desk on his laptop.

Aaron stood up. “Let’s talk outside.”

“
I should.
 
.
 
.” I trailed off as Aaron walked to the door and pulled on a jacket hanging up on the coat rack. I didn’t think it was even his. He motioned for me to follow. I licked my lips and grabbed my coat from the rack before going outside with him. We sat on the  bench swing on the front porch. There were a few kids in the yard, smoking and talking. It was dark out, only a few stars out, but the porch light was on.

“
So, what happened with you and Wendy?” I asked, fearing the answer.

Aaron looked down at his hands. His knuckles had blood on them. “I couldn't stay with her.”

I let out a slow breath. “I hope that's not because of me.”

He looked up at me incredulously. “Of course it was. I'm tired of pretending, Anna. I'm in love with you.”

My mouth fell open in shock and I had no idea what to say. “I.
 
.
 
.Aaron, I.
 
.
 
.you can't build your life around me, okay? I'm just going to disappoint you.”

“
The way I disappointed you?” He moved closer to me, the distance between us growing smaller. I wanted to get up and run. Was there something wrong with me? Why didn't I want his love?

“
Yes, exactly like that,” I whispered.

“
You're what I think about when I wake up and before I fall asleep. I want to kill anyone that would hurt you. I was a selfish little shit head a year and a half ago, Anna, and I know I'm still selfish sometimes and I know I'm a shit head most of the time. But I will never make that mistake again, okay? I’ll never desert you like that again.”

Tears hit me all of a sudden, and I blinked them back. “Aaron—”

“
How could I? When I can feel your hurt and your happiness? When you're a part of me?”

I stood up, shaking my head. “What are you saying, that without the connection you wouldn't have fallen in love with me? That you didn't even choose this?”

“
If it weren't for our connection, I never would have talked to you at the Boys and Girls club.”

“
Never? Never, Aaron, really?”

A jeep pulled up, and Chandler stepped out after turning off the engine and the lights. He slowed when he saw us. “Hey,” he called.

“
Hey,” Aaron said. “I borrowed one of your jackets.”

Chandler shrugged. “Whatever.”

“
I’m going to walk around a bit and clear my head,” I told Aaron.

I walked off the porch, but he followed me, of course. When I glanced back, Chandler was closing the front door and Aaron was right behind me. “Aaron, do we have to do this right now?”

“
Where are you going?”

“
I don’t know, the backyard?” I left the area lit up by the porch light, walking along the side of the house. I slowed down since I could hardly see anything.

Just past the rose bushes, Aaron took my arm. “Why do you act like the connection is a bad thing?” he asked.

“
Because, Aaron.
 
.
 
.” I looked at him. “I'll never know if we're together because we choose to be or because of our connection. I'll never know if I could have had another choice.”

“
I'm not going to force you—”

“
It's inevitable. My life has one direction, one destination, doesn’t it? I’m stuck with you.”

He let go of my arm. My words had stung. “Why is that such a bad thing?” The pain came through in his voice.

“
It's not, but what about what I want—”

“
You can't tell me you don't want this!” He moved closer to me. I stepped back until my back hit the house. He put his hands on my shoulders, pinning me to the house. “You can't hide what you feel, Anna. Not from me. I can feel it when I walk in the room, I can feel it when we spend time together. I felt it when we kissed and I've felt it every time we've touched since then.”

He was so
close
, his hips pressing into my waist, his breath warm on my forehead. I couldn't deny what he was saying, either. When my phone buzzed, who did I hope it was? Who did I miss after a few hours? Who did I know better than myself? When I thought of my future, who, without a doubt, was always there alongside me and my family?

Aaron.

“
What are you scared of?” he whispered.

He leaned closer to me, if that were even possible, and his arms slipped down my torso to wrap around my waist. He pulled me toward him, whispering my name.

I was afraid he was going to kiss me, so I moved my head to the side. His breath was warm on my cheek.

“
I'm scared of.
 
.
 
.” I trailed off. The list seemed too long. “I’m scared of losing myself to you and Le Garde. I'm scared you'll let me down again. I'm scared this life was chosen for me instead of me choosing it.”

“
Your parents were chosen for you. Your country, your looks, the year you were born.” He paused. “Maybe I was, too. Maybe I was created just for you and you were created just for me. Maybe even if we hadn't had a connection, we would have fallen in love. Maybe it would have taken longer and been less painful, but maybe it would have happened anyway. Maybe we're soul mates, Anna, connection or not.”

His lips brushed against my cheek, and the electrons came alive even with that simple touch. My eyes fluttered shut. My arms hooked around his neck, my hands careful to keep his hood between our skin. Just like over the past few weeks, I felt like I was falling into him, against my better judgment, against common sense.

He whispered in my ear, and his breath sent shivers down my spine. “I know you want to hear that even though I could have stayed with Wendy, I chose you. But I couldn't have stayed with her. I can't be with anyone but you Anna. I can't convince myself anyone else is as perfect for me as you are.”

Was that the difference between us? Could I walk away and go back to Steven downstairs?

His lips brushed against my earlobe this time. Electrons danced and moved in frenzied activity as he set his cheek against mine.

Could anyone really choose who they fell in love with?

“
Aaron,” I whispered.

He pulled back, just the slightest. He looked down at me. In the moonlight I could barely make out the outlines of his face. The line of his jaw, the curve of his cheek bones. A face I'd known for nearly nine years.

I didn't choose him so much as I
let
this boy, this young man, steal my heart. I agreed to tutor him; I invited him to hang out with us in San Francisco; I wanted to practice our powers; I visited Joseph Harwood with him.

After he hurt me a year and a half ago, I could have pushed him away. I could have kept him out of my life forever. But I let him back in. I forgave him. I'd called him and texted him and spent time with him and laughed with him and let myself fall for him.

That's what I told myself anyway. Maybe to make myself feel better. But maybe he was right. Maybe I was no better than him, maybe
 
I had no choice in it all. Maybe our hearts were formed from birth into a special shape only completed with one another's.

I pulled his face down toward mine and kissed him. Our bodies instantly came alive. I could see the currents in Chandler’s house, the appliances, the power flow—but I pushed it all to the side to focus on Aaron’s lips on mine. Our mouths fit together perfectly, his tongue brushing against mine. He pressed me into the side of the house, his hands gripping my hips. I tasted something metallic in our kiss and I remembered his split lip. I almost pulled away then, out of concern, but then his fingers slipped underneath my coat and my shirt and pressed into the small of my back. His hands were soft, smooth, and I wanted nothing between us. I kissed him harder, pushed closer to him.

His love and desire for me were flooding over me, and it made my knees weak. He held me up, though, as our kisses became passionate and the current became harder to control. I wove my hands into his hair and tugged on it. He let out a groan that sent heat to every part of my body.

That's when we lost control.

There was a loud
crack!
Our mouths sprang apart, me panting like I'd been running.

Screams filled the air, and we pulled away. The brisk air hit me in all the places where he’d been before. He grabbed my wrist, and we followed the sound of the screams to the front yard. A group of kids was standing next to the cars and pointing.

The cables on a utility pole on the sidewalk in front of Chandler’s house had broken off of the pole. A few of them had fallen to the ground and were sparking from the tips as they bounced along the cement. Another was on the grass, and I knew it would light fire soon. Aaron grabbed my hand. My surprise from the unexpected contact nearly sent out a surge of power, but we quickly reined it in. We felt the electricity in the cable ahead, leading from the last utility pole a few blocks down.

“
We need to stop it at the pole,” I said, “or the grass is going to light.”

It was the highest amount of voltage we’d ever encountered. The surge was almost too much to bear. My head ached as we tried to control it.

“
How are we going to stop it?” Aaron asked.

“
Let’s just break off that one cable. The others will be fine until someone gets here.”

We focused our energy on the cable that was on the yard. A spark caught, lighting up some of the grass, but we severed the other end of the cable. It fell to the ground, harmless metal now. It was sparking where we’d cut it off, but at least that was in the air, up away from the grass. Someone threw some beer on the little fire that started on the lawn.

I let go of Aaron’s hand, bringing my fingers up to rub my temples.

“
You okay?” Aaron asked. Sweat shone on his forehead.

“
I’m fine.” I shook my head. “This is too dangerous, Aaron.
We’re
dangerous.”

Aaron reached out for me, but I stepped back. “Look, I’m going to go talk to Steven.” I bit my lip. “I’m going to break up with him.”

I felt a spark of delight from him, but he also knew I wasn’t looking forward to this. My stomach twisted. I didn’t want to hurt Steven anymore than I already had, but I didn’t want to stay with him, either. I finally knew what I
did
want—I wanted to be with Aaron, even if it scared me.

“
Go on,” he whispered, nodding toward the house.

As I walked to the front door, Chandler’s mom ran out of the house. I heard her calling to everyone that she had called 911 and they should back away from the rogue cable.

Inside, Steven was at the top of the basement steps, Sam balancing him. “Hey,” I said.

“
I was coming to look for you,” Steven said quietly.

“
Yeah. Could we talk outside?”

He silently went past me on his crutches. Sam raised her eyebrows at me, and I gave her a look that said, ‘I’ll tell you later.’

We sat on the porch swing, watching as Chandler’s mom ushered a few kids inside and others replayed the incident of the freak accident for their friends. Aaron walked past, nodding to us. I wondered where Wendy was, and if Vickie knew about the two of them breaking up.