Conklin's Blueprints (30 page)

His Conklin grin spread across his face.  “Can I eat it off you?”

I threw my head back and laughed whole heartedly.

“What?”  Although his eyes were playful his words were wounded.

“That sounds like a sticky mess.  I wouldn’t want to ruin your high thread count sheets,” I said turning to go sit on the couch.  He stopped me and pulled me back to him, my back to his front as he stretched one arm around my shoulders holding me close.

I felt his lips brush against my ear.  “That’s what showers and dry cleaning are for,” he whispered, then picked up the fork to take a bite of the dessert.

I leaned my head back on his shoulder.  “Showers?  I’m beginning to think you are obsessed with trying to get me naked.”

He moved his hand across my collarbone and whispered in my ear again.  “Can you blame me?  I’m sick of imagining.  I want to see the real thing.”  He took another bite of the dessert.

A frown spread across my lips.  Too bad his imagination was probably way better than the real thing.

After he swallowed his lips were on my neck.  “Can we try and watch the Batman movie again?”

I let a soft breath escape my smile as I put both my hands on his forearm that was spread across my collarbone.  “If you would hurry up and eat that we could,” I said, nodding my head towards the plate.

He laughed again and let go of me to focus on the sinful dessert.  We both sat down at the bar so he could finish the layers of chocolate.  Watching him eat it was a turn on, not because of the food, but how he swallowed and moved his lips.  I started to fantasize and picture his lips moving the same way on me.  A blush came across my face.  Fortunately he didn’t catch my stare.

“Uh, that was so good… I can’t finish it.”  He groaned, leaning back on the stool and stretching his arms above his head.  He had left maybe two bites.  I was impressed, it was a huge piece.

He set his arm along the back of my barstool and gazed at me.  “I will take my shirt off for the movie, if you lick this off me,” he coaxed.

I tried to hide my amusement.  Like he wasn’t going to get naked anyway.

“I think I will take my chances,” I teased.

“What?  You think I’m going to do it anyway?” He was attempting to sound offended, but he couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

I filled my eyes with seduction and stood up, swiveling his stool so I was standing in between his legs.  His head whipped back in apprehension.  I took the hem of his shirt in my fingers and slowly moved it up his chest.  He quickly helped me to take it off of him.  I examined his bare chest with my eyes and hands then leaned down to just above his navel and made a trail with my tongue up his chest, along his collar, and all the way up to his ear.  His chest rose along with my tongue, and he took a sharp breath in when my breath was in his ear.

“I don’t need to have chocolate to lick you,” I whispered.  He sucked in air and before I knew it I was off the ground, being carried back to his bedroom.

Chapter 16

I fluttered my eyes open, being greeted with an early sunrise upon the large city.  The sky was lovely shades of pinks and purples, and I was glad we didn’t close the curtain.  Fingertips brushed my lower back up my spine then pulled my loose locks of hair to the side.  Warm lips grazed my shoulder where my hair had been pulled away.  I rolled so I was able to face the owner of the warm lips and fingertips that ever so gently stirred me awake.  My body was sore in all the right places as I rotated so I could snuggle up against Tyler.

I nuzzled his firm chest and intertwined my legs with his.  I put my hand on his muscular lower back as he entrapped me in his arms.  He continued his gentle kisses on my temple and cheeks, rubbing his nose along mine.

“Good morning,” he whispered, moving his lips to kiss my eye lashes.  I murmured good morning back, burying my head in his chest.  His body was warm and inviting, and I had no intentions of leaving his bed any time soon.

“Did you sleep okay?” His voice was soft.

“Yes, I think you put me in a coma,” I teased, tilting my head to kiss his neck.  I could hear his grin as he tipped his head to the side, allowing me to give his neck more kisses.

“Sorry, I can’t help getting frisky when I re situate in bed and my hand lands on your skin.”

“I am beginning to think you are always frisky,” I giggled, running my hand up his spine to his defined shoulder blades.

“Only when I am around you or when I am thinking of you.  You know I only have eyes for you, right?  I mean I would never touch anyone else the way I touch you,” he said, leaning up on his elbow and putting his hand on my cheek. 

“I know.  I trust you,” I said, leaning up to kiss the corner of his mouth.  I laid my head back down on the pillow.  He looked like he was in deep thought.

“You are the only woman I have ever really been able to touch.”  His words were laced with a hint of pain.  He was thinking about his past relationship.  I ached to know more, but I was terrified once he told me about it, he would want to know more about who I had been with, and I wasn’t ready to share.

“I love when you touch me, and I love that I can touch you, too,” I said giving him a heartfelt smile. 

He clenched his eyes shut, “You have no idea how much your touch means to me.” 

I gulped, afraid to ask the question it felt like he was begging me to ask.

“What happened with your past relationship?” I bravely said, hoping it wasn’t going to open up the can of worms I had been avoiding, and would avoid the rest of my life.

His eyes stayed closed as he laid flat on his back.  “Let’s just say it was forbidden, but I couldn’t stay away from the temptation.”

“Why?  Your parents wouldn’t approve?”

He opened an eye and had a trace of humor in it.  “They didn’t know about it.”

“Did her parents not approve?” 

His lips quirked up, “I’m sure they wouldn’t have,” he said.

I pulled up on my elbow so I could get a better look at his expression, hoping it would help me to understand.

“She was kind of our… nanny,” he said, biting his lip while sitting up against the headboard.

My eyes widened.  “How old was she?  How old were you?”  I tried to hide the anger in my voice.  If she was his nanny, then he couldn’t have been very old, and she had to have been old enough to know better.

“I was 16.”

Oh, so he wasn’t as young as I thought he might have been. 

“Why did you still have a nanny when you were 16?”

He shrugged his shoulders.  “She more did our laundry, cleaned, kept us in line.  I told you my mother was more interested in her social groups.  Besides, Mitch was four years younger than I was.  He still needed more attention at the time.”

“Which she was obviously giving to you instead,” I snorted.

He laughed at my expression.  “Maybe so, but it didn’t feel that way.”

I sat up next to him, holding a pillow to my chest.  His gaze was intense, waiting for my next question.

“How long did it go on?”

“Ten years,” he said quietly.  My mouth dried up.  Tyler fidgeted and ran his hands through his hair.  “It wasn’t a relationship though. We just fucked, quickly, and with our clothes on.  Like I said before, I was only allowed to touch her in certain areas, and she only touched me in certain areas.  It was always spontaneous and on her terms.”  His words were flustered and agitated.

Hearing him talk about having sex with someone else was unsettling. The fact that he sounded angry about it was worse. 
Did
he love her? Was he
still
in love with her? 

“Do you still see her?” I croaked.  I didn’t want to look at him.

“No.” His voice was chilling.  “I haven’t seen her since my grandfather’s funeral just over a year ago.”  He almost sounded bitter.

Tyler sighed and pulled me so I was on his lap.  “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“Did you love her?” I whispered.

He didn’t say anything. 

There’s your answer.

I sighed and pulled away from him, climbing off the bed with the pillow.  I held it over my front and walked backwards to the bathroom.  “I’m going to hop in the shower,” I mumbled, my eyes not leaving the floor.  I closed the bathroom door behind me and turned on the hot water before he could say anything.

I basked in the hot water, trying to wrap my head around all that I just heard.  How did he have such a messed up relationship for so long?  She clearly controlled him, it was written all over his face as he talked about her.  What if she showed up on his doorstep again?  Would he do the same as he did to me earlier, be attracted and ram her against the nearest wall?  I shook my head.  I was being stupid.  How could I be mad about this?  I couldn’t be one to talk.  I had slept with dozens of random men in a very short period of time, and I loved someone in the past too, so much that I wanted to marry him.  If he could handle that, I could surely handle his extremely odd affair.  But I wouldn’t be able to handle him not talking to me.  I learned that not communicating was how to end a relationship, and I really, really liked Tyler.

I finished showering quickly, anxious to apologize to Tyler about getting weird with his hesitation.  I quickly brushed my teeth and hair then threw on one of the lacy undergarments Jamie had packed.  I was down to only a few thongs.  Uh… I just wanted some regular cotton!  I grabbed one and put it on with my jeans then tiptoed out to the bedroom.  I wanted to put on one of Tyler’s soft T-shirts.  I was disappointed to see ruffled sheets and no Tyler.  I went over to his drawers and pulled out a plain white undershirt.  It smelled like him.  I hugged myself, caressing the simple cotton, wishing they were Tyler’s hands instead of mine.  I ran out of the bedroom in hopes of finding him.  Maybe he was in his office?  Or in the kitchen trying to find something for breakfast?  Each time I looked for him and didn’t find him I was let down. 

When I made it to the kitchen there was a note on the table.

Went to the gym.  Be back in a little while. -Tyler

I frowned.  Was he avoiding me?  The last thing I wanted was to push him away.  Was it so wrong of me to feel uneasy after he told me he was fucking his nanny for ten years?  I moseyed over to the couch and plopped down on the big, soft cushions.  I curled up into the fetal position and sighed.  I just ruined our weekend.  We should have been cuddling and kissing in his bed, not talking about our past relationships.  Why did I have to ask so many questions?  I knew it was a bad idea.  I closed my eyes and tried to not think about anything.

Just as I was about to go into a deep sleep I felt a presence next to me.  I kept my eyes closed, still feeling the tiredness trying to take over my body.  A soft whisper came into the air. 
I’m sorry.
  I felt a soft blanket fall around me.  It was warm and inviting. 

When I opened my eyes, no one was there.  I rubbed my eyes as I sat up.  I was a little light headed from sitting up so fast.  I must have fallen asleep.  The light was shining bright through the windows.  Once I felt like I was oriented again, I went in search for Tyler.  He must have been back and draped the blanket over me while I was asleep.  I searched the large condo and finally came to the bedroom.  As I walked through the doorway, I heard the water in the bathroom turn on.  He must be taking a shower.  A thought crept into my mind, and I began to fidget with what my mind was telling me to do.  The bathroom did have a dimmer, and there weren’t any windows, so no light would be shining through.  I was so desperate to talk to him; I couldn’t wait until he was out of the shower.  I needed to gain the courage to walk into the shower with him and tell him what I had been processing in my head.

With my fingers trembling, I pulled off Tyler’s T-shirt and undid my jeans.  I crossed my arms and gently opened the slightly ajar bathroom door.  He wouldn’t be able to see me come in.  I tiptoed towards the shower and stepped in.  The shower didn’t have a door.  It was simply tucked back into its own place, almost like a closet.  The lighting was very dim already, so that made me a little more at ease.  He was facing away from me, so I got a glorious view of his shoulders and backside as he stood under the water.  Steam was rising from his skin.  His head was down, and his hands were on the tiled walls.  I bravely took a step in and slowly put my hand on his back. The only movement he did was a slight tilt of the head, as if he were going to turn and face me.  Once I knew he wouldn’t be startled, I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled my naked body flush with his. I felt him take a deep breath under my hands.  I kissed his back and began to speak.

“I’m sorry about earlier.  I shouldn’t be bothered if you loved someone in the past,” my words were soft and hearty.  I felt like I could cry at any moment.  His body relaxed back into mine as he put his hand on mine.

“I never said I loved her,” his tone was laced with pain and confusion.  “From what I have been feeling lately, there was no way what I had with her was love.”

I squeezed him tighter, pressing my head to his back.  He slowly turned around, keeping our bodies pressed against each other.  His eyes never wandered from mine as he put his hands on my jaw.

“I don’t want to think about her anymore.  I just want to think of you.”  The pain was slowly fading away from his face and turning into something else.  Something that made my heart beat faster.  Something I wanted to feel so badly that I was terrified.

He leaned down, longingly looking at my lips, his eyes asking for permission.  I tilted my head up to him in response and kissed him.  His mouth moved slow and tenderly as he held my face in his hands.  He was savoring me and taking me in as though I was a precious and a delicate gift that could shatter at any moment.

I slowly pulled back, keeping my nose to his. 

“You are scaring the hell out of me,” he whispered.  A shiver went down my spine as he moved his hands from my face down my back, pulling me as close to him as he could.