Conflicted (Secrets and Lies) (40 page)

I picked at my cuticles. I didn't know if it was the blatant flirting, Ethan doing yet another thing without telling me, or the clusterfuck of a mess my life was but I was livid. My face flushed as the anger spread throughout every pore of me.

Ethan stared at me in exasperation. "What are you pissed at now?"

"Let's see. It worried me what people would think with me disappearing with you before I started screwing you. Now, I actually am fucking you and you've pulled me out of work again. I'm pretty sure that the gossipers around the office are going to have a field day spreading this one along," I hissed.

"This is your last warning. Watch your mouth Mia. What is your problem? You're snappier than I've seen you yet," Ethan bit back.

"How can you be so oblivious? I've been dumb enough to leave with you twice during working hours. I never took this job to be the center of attention," I griped.

"Why did you take it? Because I think what you've told me is bullshit," Ethan snapped.

His face was crimson as he took measured breaths to prevent himself from further flipping out on me. My anger simmered as I tried to find something to tell him.

Shit. I took it too far. I can't tell him the truth. Fuck.

I broke my gaze with him and found a skyscraper across from us. The guilt settled into a pit in my stomach while self-hate spread throughout the rest of me. With how things had been going all morning, this was one shot to switch topics without him pressing me. It was obvious that my mood was bordering on unhinged so that should be enough for him to drop it.

"How long has Ian O'Connor been working there?" I asked.

Ethan blinked shaking his head in disbelief. I raised an expectant eyebrow.

His eyes flicked around the café as he avoided focusing on me. Apparently, I wasn't the only one without tells because everything about him indicated that Ian was Harrison's other source. My stomach quailed at the idea of it being true.

"He's been with us around a year and works as an assistant to Sean and Colin. Why?"

I shrugged. "I didn't expect to see someone that I knew working there."

I was beyond happy that we didn't have food yet because that admission was a bit more than I could handle without throwing up. I pasted on a fake smile. Ethan looked at me for more but I constricted my eyes to discourage any further lines of inquiry. He cocked his head doing nothing to hide his growing agitation with me. He opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off.

"I need you to explain more about this deal. I'm under the impression it needs to be wrapped up well ahead of schedule yet here we are skipping out on work. Either it's not that important or you're not telling me something. Which is it?" I asked punitively.

Ethan huffed crossing his arms over his chest. He stared me down trying to pick me apart but I remained unwavering under his scrutiny. "It's important for the company because it is a multimillion dollar deal. Sean and Colin want it closed soon so that another investor doesn't sweep in and steal it. It's important to me for other reasons," he answered squarely.

My insides swirled at what the mention of other reasons. Ethan gave me a hard look that left me squirming in my seat. His jaw tightened and his forehead creased making him morph into the version of himself that left me a little afraid of him. It was enough for me to sideline asking any other questions along those lines.

"You mentioned playing sports last night. What sports did you play?" Ethan asked.

I reveled in the light topic of discussion. He seemed to need it too as he took measured breaths to regain his composure. "I played soccer, basketball, and softball."

He smirked. "Were you any good?"

I beamed. "Ever heard of the Miracle Maker?"

"Are you serious?"

I nodded watching his jaw drop. Our server was back with our drinks. I took a long sip of mine. Ethan picked up his glass mixing the contents until bringing it to his lips for a drink. I watched his lips lick the edge of his glass and had to blink several times. My body jolted out of the unease right into a dull ache to have those lips all over me. The look of awe he was giving me blazed every part of me.

"Stop looking at me like that. It wasn't that big of a deal Ethan. I had awesome teammates that were just as talented. Bri and I worked really well together in basketball so we used that to our advantage. I played for fun."

His eyes had a lingering interest. "How'd you get so good?"

I sighed. Who knew that he'd get fixated on such a mundane topic? At least, it was something I could deal with that didn't send my mind and body into a tailspin. "I gave every sport my best effort just as I did in school. I probably had a slight advantage growing up with a bunch of boys that never went easy on me. Those boys never treated me like a girl. I had to learn to hold my own and get better than they were if I didn't want to be knocked on my ass."

Ethan continued to stare at me with awestruck eyes. Our server broke the connection when she placed our food down. The food steamed with the delicious scents of pasta and fish making my mouth water. We picked up our silverware and dove into our full plates.

"Did you play any sports in high school?" I asked around a mouthful of pasta.

Ethan drove his fork into his salmon. He chewed slowly while assessing me. Coolness washed over him making me wonder why that would set him off.

"Yes, I played rugby, football, and basketball."

"Were you any good?"

"I wasn't nearly as good as you. I played for an escape."

His face tightened as he took deep breaths. His eyes were full of pain. Sorrow inundated me but I wanted to know what he meant by an escape. I wanted to learn more about the mystery behind him. "Elaborate please," I said softly.

Ethan gave me a hard glance before taking another bite of the food. He chewed for a minute before regarding me. I finished off my plate while waiting for him to answer.

"It kept me out of my house for longer periods and prolonged the inevitable with my father. He had a precise plan so I played sports to spite him."

"I see. We all play for different reasons."

I figured he had some disdain for his father but he just confirmed it. The entire answer he gave me was rather cryptic. While I contemplated whether to push for more, Ethan stunned me by giving my hand a gentle squeeze. I looked up at him with wide eyes. He took a deep breath with his eyes tortured before he closed them all together. The torment behind his eyes hit every part of me. It made me quiver and not in a good way.

"Mia, my dad was a ruthless prick that went out of his way to make my life miserable. He cheated on my mom and beat the shit out of us. As I said last night, my relationship there is complicated. In time, I'll explain more so please let this be for now," he pleaded.

The agony in his voice made my eyes glisten. It was evident that his childhood rivaled my own when it came to misery. I nodded repressing my tears. I tightened his hold on my hand. He opened his eyes and let a small smile grace his torn face.

Pointing to the plate between us, I asked, "Did you order that to let it go to waste?

His brow crinkled in displeasure. "No. I'm not sure why our appetizer came out with the entrees. It should've been here earlier. I'll have to take that up with Benny at a different time."

I raised an eyebrow and picked up a piece of the flatbread. I dipped it in the marinara sauce. It tasted remarkable. I titled my head fully catching his comment. "Is this another one of your business ventures?

Ethan smiled proudly. "Yes, I'm a silent partner. It was hard not to invest. There aren't many cafes that are over a thousand feet above everything else with one of the best views you can have while enjoying a good meal."

I grinned. "Sounds like you are a savvy businessman."

His face lost its zest as he gazed away. "I endeavor to be."

He placed his fork down on his empty plate and took a long drink. I finished off my cocktail and grabbed my water to wash down the lingering taste of alcohol in my mouth. I wished it could wipe away all the other feelings inside of me. The more I learned about Ethan, the more questions he created for me. I saw how much everything outside of his father's company mattered to him. He didn't want to be associated with that place any more than I did. Pain cut through me sharing that sentiment with him and not being able to tell him. I halted dwelling any further so that I didn't have a breakdown.

"It looks like we've finished everything. Do you want to do us a favor and bat your eyes so that our server comes back with the bill?"

He cocked his head to the side. "You don't strike me as the jealous type. Why do you let the way other women react around me bother you?"

"I wouldn't say it bothers me per se. It's just an annoyance."

Ethan huffed. "You don't think it pisses me off to watch countless men check you out on daily basis with no shame as they do it."

I scoffed. "I think we need to get your eyes checked because that never happens."

"The hell it doesn't. You really don't see it do you."

"See what?"

"How beautiful you are. You're every guy's fantasy."

Ethan waved his hand to bring the server over. We stared at each without a word. The glimmer that lingered in his eyes entranced me. He shut them and exhaled slowly. Ethan set his drink down on the table. He opened his eyes with his head shaking back and forth. I loved affecting him. It warmed every part of me.

"Don't," Ethan said barely above a whisper.

"What?" I asked, trying to control my breathing.

"Stop giving me that look," he demanded hoarsely.

"What look?" I taunted.

"Don't tease me Mia. You know how it will end," Ethan warned.

"I'm sorry. Sometimes you provoke a side of me that can't help but push your buttons. You do it to me all the time so I take the open windows that come to me."

Ethan opened his mouth to answer but our enthusiastic server was back with the check. He handed her his card not looking at her once. His eyes burned into me with so much desire that my heart rate went into supersonic mode. Our server let out an irritated huff and stormed off to run his card. His lips curled into a cocky smirk. I raised an eyebrow at his smugness.

"You're right. It wasn't a good idea for us to work together alone. I guess you're going to have to learn to have some self-control."

Like I'm the only one that struggles with control
.
Arrogant ass.

"At least I got you to admit that I was right about something. It must have been hard for you," I retorted.

A light chuckle vibrated from his chest. "I should've never told you that it was okay to drop your filter. Your mouth pushes my buttons more than anything."

"I didn't hear you complaining about how I used it this morning," I sniggered.

Ethan bit his lip to hold back the smile that was spreading across his face. The server returned with his card and receipt. He scribbled his name across it without giving her the time a day. He clutched my hand and pulled me out of my chair. I squeezed his hand as we walked away. I couldn't resist the urge to gaze back at our server who stood frozen as she watched Ethan pull my hand up for a gentle kiss. I gave her a parting smirk before leaning into him. For the moment, he was mine and I wanted to rub it in to anyone that saw us. I held on to those happy feelings as we walked out of the restaurant.

Once back down on the street, we stopped outside of the entrance to the building. Ethan brought both of my hands to his chest. He bent down for a loving kiss. I released my hands from his and rested them around his hips. His hands drifted to my face where he held my cheekbones. He parted my mouth and his tongue drove into the sides of my cheek searching for more. I gripped him wanting to be as close to him as humanly possible. The wind swirled around bringing up leaves from the sidewalk. People walked by giving an occasional whistle to our passionate embrace.

After a few minutes, Ethan slowed his lips. I took in every ounce of love that was pouring from his eyes. I loved him more than I could express. I didn't know it was possible to feel this way about someone else in this world. Ethan freed his grip from my cheeks and closed his eyes. He opened them moments later with such bliss that it sped up my heart.

"I'll never be able to thank the universe enough for bringing you into my life," Ethan murmured.

"Me either," I choked out.

He was going to make me cry if he kept saying so many damn sentimental things. I stared at him fighting the tears of joy that wanted to break free. I tugged him with me towards the direction of my car.

"Where are you going?"

"To my car seeing that's how I got here and all."

"Where did you park?"

"I'm in the ramp. Where did you park?"

"On the street."

"Of course, why would we park in the same place? For as synced as we can be, we go in opposite directions more often than not," I pointed out, letting go of his hands.

"I'm not letting you walk to your car by yourself. I'll walk with you," he said sternly.

Ethan took my hand with a determined expression for me not to argue with him.

"Why? I walked up here by myself. I'm not some damsel in distress Ethan," I replied utterly annoyed.

He didn't give me a second glance as he moved forward. I scowled but continued walking.

"It's not up for discussion. I'll walk with you before I get my car. You agreed to spend the evening with me so we'll be going to my place now. You can't go anywhere without directions there. If I were you, I'd swallow this one," Ethan advised.

"Fine, you can be such an ass," I shot back.

"If that means making sure you stay out of harm's way, I'm fine with that reference."

Ethan grasped my hand as he strode along the sidewalk. His marching pace had leaves flying all over. I was barely able to keep with him in heels but I wasn't going to say anything. In retrospect, I probably shouldn't walk anywhere alone with a malicious bastard watching my every move. Having a man hell bent on protecting me wasn't the worst thing in the world.