Confidential (3 page)

"It would be best if you did, so that you don't forget anything." He moved his chair a little closer to mine, "I understand this must be very difficult for you, but can you describe your attacker?"

"There was two. No- Three." I caught myself. Starting to explain the story before I was interrupted.

"I see it was a very confusing time for you, just concentrate and try to remember how many people there were."

This got
me a
little angry. "I am not" I looked at him pointedly "confused."

He gestured for me to go on.

"I got home from school, and when I came inside my house, I heard people talking in the house." I could see officer parker scribbling down what I was saying.

"They were already inside your house?" He asked, his eyebrows raised, a little surprised

"Yes." I said. Now I had calmed down a little. I had time to have anger simmer inside me, and feel a little ashamed. I was ashamed at how they found me. I was ashamed I couldn't fight back, I was ashamed that they made me feel ashamed, and as I looked down at myself, I was pissed they ruined my shirt. I got this in a farmers market in California, it WAS pretty, a silky t-shirt with Indian style designs. One of my favorites.

"Ms…." Officer Parker nudged me to continue. I hadn't realized how much time I spent thinking.

" Van Dauson" I clarified. "My name is Heidi."

"Well Heidi, it looks like the ambulance is here, would you mind if I rode with you and we continued our talk?"

"Sure." I wasn't sure what I should do, if I should even tell them. The whole thing was confusing, and as ambulance people rushed me, and poked and prodded me this way and that, I became exhausted, and I hurt all over.

Eventually, they gave me something, and shooed the Officer away before he could continue to pester me. I slipped off into sleep; the last thing I saw was the inside of the ambulance truck.

"Will you call me when she wakes up?" I could hear my dad talking to my mom, who I could hear having lots of sniffling and fake
cries
. "Of course."

I mentally rolled my eyes. My mother is so dramatic. "I need to call Shannon, she'll have to hear this. And please call John and Maria too, they'll want to know what happened."

"Lisa," My dad's tone was irritated "We don't even know what happened, lets not publicize this, Heidi may not want us to-"

"Colin, please." My mom interrupted curtly. "This is a really stressful time for me, I need support."

I heard nothing else from my dad, and assumed he left. Meanwhile my mother could be heard on the phone crying to the latest recipient. "Heidi... Heidi honey, are you awake?" She would ask occasionally, conveniently right as the person on the other line would answer the phone.

I honestly could not take it sometimes. And I couldn't sit here and listen to her whine when she had no idea what happened.
I
had no idea what happened. A part of me didn't want to tell the police, what if they found me? They didn't kill me the first time but I'm sure they would if I caused any more trouble.

My mom dramatically cried a little into the phone " I know. I know. It's hard to come to terms with that no matter how much I protect her, things can go wrong. It's so horrible to deal with. What am I going to do? Now I'm afraid to go for walks!" There was a slight pause before my mother continued, "I know it! Ugh. Well at least they caught the man."

That spiked my interest, and I listened intently.

"Uh huh… yeah, he came forward and confessed. I know, I was shocked too. Apparently he made
a
plea bargain with the police already. Yes, they found evidence and everything." My mother paused while there was murmuring from the other line "Oh you know. Typical young Mexican gang initiation or something"

… what? They definitely weren't Hispanic. At all. Blonde and blue eyed. Short and dark features… and that red headed woman. Not Mexican at all. I decided my mom definitely wasn't leaving soon anyway. So I opened my eyes.

"Oh sweetie!" My moms voice rang high and shrill. "I've been here for hours waiting for you to wake up! I haven't even been able to do anything else but worry about you- Joan I'll have to call you back, my daughter's awake".

She came and sat on my bed and played with my hair annoyingly. "Now, don't worry about a thing, I'm organizing a little fundraiser for you, and people will bring everything-"

"Mom." I said. Trying not to sound as harsh as I knew I could have, "I don't want people to know."

I saw a 'oh shit' look on her face. Great. "Well… honey. I was so worried, and your school would have needed to know where you were, because I assumed you wouldn't have wanted to go to school today, so..."

"Are you serious?" I groaned.

"What did you expect?! This is really hard for me too you know." she looked at me hotly.

When times like these happen, I usually prefer not to say anything at all. Usually because I'm so angry that I know I'll end up offending her and she'll just do something else even more dramatic before I can even tell her why I'm upset.

"This whole thing is just so horrible." My mom's eyes welled up with tears and her hands went to her face.

Now you need to understand my mom. Shit like this is bait, and you have to take it. I mean, my mom is crying for God sakes, what am I supposed to do? So I reluctantly gave her the attention she wanted.

"It'll be fine mom." I patted her arm.

My mom likes to pretend she's mega-mom in front of people but usually I have to fend for myself. I'm seventeen, I'm a big girl, so it's not a big deal. It's actually kind of nice not to have someone on my case 24/7, but she is can be really fake. It bothers me. She dyes her hair a billion shades of red and blondes, when it's naturally a dark brown, so she needs touch ups every two weeks. Waxes, nails, a new wardrobe every season- you can say she got me into the whole 'buying clothes when you're feeling down' deal. It's a lot to maintain my mother. She's always out entertaining my dad's clients, bragging about something or making others feel insignificant in comparison to our life, luxuries, and problems.

It's a miracle we're not broke, actually. My mom is one of those people that buys things because they have a sale, or a new model car. She gets these ideas in her head that if we don't have it, then our family will be looked upon with shame. It's a little tiring. So as deranged as this sounds, I bet she's really excited that this happened to me. She can drag this event out for months. This is a million excuses to spend more money.

"I don't even feel safe in that neighborhood anymore…that's why I've talked to your father about moving into a gated community." See? There it is. Luckily the door opened and a nurse came in.

"Oh good. Your awake." She smiled kindly. "Here, I'm just gonna move these around. I hope you don't mind. And an officer will be in here for a little bit." She left the room only to have Officer Parker come back in
a
couple moments later.

"Mrs. Van Dauson, " Officer Parker said politely. "Would you mind if I talked to your daughter a bit?"

"Of course." She gestured to me. More sniffles.

"Um. Mrs. Van Dauson-"

"Call me Lisa, Please."

"Lisa, " He corrected himself, "It's usually easier for victims to talk without family members present."

"Without…" My mom slowly comprehended "Oh. No. Heidi won't mind. I'm her mother. We're very close"

Ugh.

"Mom, its just easier," she looked at me, clearly hurt.

"No! I am not leaving. Are you even allowed to question my daughter without me present?"

Officer Parker looked a little annoyed. Welcome to my world. "I'm trying to help the situation. And I am not questioning her, simply trying to make this easier."

"You have the mugger already, you don't even need to talk to my daughter. I'm very insulted. I suspected that I, as the parent of a daughter who just got assaulted would be treated a little better. This isn't easy for me you know."

I looked at Officer Parker "Why don't I get your card and I'll call you later." I suggested, a nice little solution.

He was reaching into his pocket, obviously liking my idea better, when my mom interrupted, "Excuse me, but no you won't, I'm your mother, and you'll do as I say."

It's embarrassing to fight in front of people, but sometime's necessary. "Mom. Go call someone or something. This didn't happen to you it happened to me."

"Are you joking?!" She exclaimed, feigning shock. I pressed the help button on my bed and a nurse ran in. "My mother is distressing me." I said in the most monotone bored voice possible. Knowing it would piss her off even more.

".Not." She huffed, "Kick me out of my own daughters room."

But the nurse did. Thank god.

After my mom's performance I apologized to Parker "Sorry, she's a little high maintenance at times."

"I can see that." He said, his eyes following my mom while she was being escorted out the door by security guards. Clearing his throat he continued, "Unfortunately, we have to get your account of what happened, as part of clearance, we identified your attacker, and after a brief hearing for finalities we can put him away."

"Um... Officer Parker, I heard my mom on the phone, you said it was a gang initiation or something?"

"That's what it appears to be, yes."

"I don't think you have the right guy." I looked at him intently, I wanted him to know that I was serious, "I told you, there were three people in my house, I walked in on them talking."

"Look, Ms. Van Dauson,"

"You can call me Heidi."

"Okay... Well Heidi, between you and me, I'm supposed to get your account of the story, but the department is a little curious as to how there is a man who has confessed to the assault, knows in detail the place where he allegedly injured you and how your injuries came about, but you claim there was more than one attacker. I noticed you were confused when I first questioned you, you weren't even sure how many people where there."

"You don't understand-"

"No, no, maybe I do, it's often very confusing for a victim of assault, it happens so quickly it may seem as if there is more than one attacker-"

"No, you need to listen to me." I said, very frustrated "Did you ask the laundry mat guy? Because I know he scared them off before they could do any more damage."

"We did, and he hadn't seen anything, just heard someone run away."

I let out an angry breath " Will you listen to me please? Let me tell you what happened. Then call
me a
'confused victim'. " I said with a little venom.

"Of course, that's why I'm here," He put his arms up as a sign of peace, "but you have to realize we do have someone who confessed-"

I just started talking over him, too impatient to listen to his doubts any
longer
. "I came into my house and I heard people upstairs, so I took a big metal pan, went up there, and found three people talking-"

"And what were they talking about?" Officer Parker had his notebook out and was lazily writing a couple words down, pissing me off. He couldn't take me seriously?

"I don't know… they had just found something they were looking for…" I squeezed my eyes shut trying to remember. "I remembered how they were sitting, both the short man and the big guy around the women, talking about…what time to be someplace or something? I don't know, they were going to meet a couple people and trade whatever they had for something else. They noticed me in the middle of talking, and I wasn't really thinking about what they were saying."